"Here you go." Sehun set a boba and plate of dumplings in front of me.

I smiled up at him and watched him take a seat across from me. As he sat down he grabbed my hand in his and squeezed it tightly. I squeezed back and giggled. He started to talk about how all of their fans were cheering so loud the other night. He talked about his solo dance and how some girls were throwing clothing at him. He made a childishly disgusted face when he told me about the extent of a girl throwing her thong up on stage. I laughed and he pouted, poking my nose, trying to make me stop.

"Stoppp! It wasn't funny!" He whined.

"Sehunnie, that was so funny! Please tell me one of the guys recorded it!"I begged.

He looked off a moment, "I wouldn't tell you even if one of them did."

"That means someone did! I'm soooooo texting Baek and getting the video sent to me!" I giggled and pulled out my phone.

"No!" Sehun took my phone and slid it into his pocket.

"Why'd you do that?!" I asked, trying to reach for my phone.

He grabbed my wrist and leaned in, placing our foreheads together, "Because I don't want my girlfriend to see me like that."

I pouted and pulled back, crossing my arms and sitting back in my seat. Sehun rolled his eyes and handed my phone back. I smiled and gladly put it into my pocket. He paid for the meal and we walked down the sidewalk, our hands intertwined in his jacket pocket. It was turning fall and it was getting a little chilly out, which meant it was about time for coats, but nothing too thick needed.

We were heading back to the building because I had an afternoon schedule and he had an early morning schedule. I smiled up at him and he smiled back just as happily. We had been dating for about three months and we told the guys after our third date, so about three weeks in. The guys liked to tease us now, but Suho and Xiumin like to completely ignore me altogether. I scheduled a meeting to have lunch with both of them in a private area tomorrow. They only agreed because they had some things they wanted to tell me without letting the other members hear or catch wind of. 

Sehun and I rode the elevator and he pulled me into a tight and intimate hug. It took me by surprise as his hands were incredibly present on my hips.

"Sehun..." I spoke out breathlessly.

"Please be safe, and don't let anyone get too close, I don't want anyone taking my girl." He whispered into my ear and then kissed it softly before pulling back just in time for the doors to open.

I followed him out, but my heart wasn't racing like it used to, it was just a regular thump. Every time he called me his girlfriend or his 'girl' I tensed up as if the word itself was harmful to me. It was unnatural and it just sounded wrong coming from his lips.

Then who should it really be coming from?

I thought on it and a small face with heart shaped lips and owl like eyes caught my attention. I shook my head. He wasn't supposed to be the one I thought of.

I'm dating Sehun! I can't think of another guy!

This... This was the same argument I had with myself every day and it was starting to get old. I was just hoping and almost pleading that the chat I would have with Xiumin and Suho would fix it somehow, make me not feel the way I do.

Sehun gave me a goodbye kiss on the cheek and left as he went toward his apartment and I headed to the recording room. For the next hour I recorded a new song and tried to rid myself of the dangerous thought Kyungsoo brought me. I said goodbye to all the directors and producers and met with Moa outside the door.

"Hey Moa, since I don't really have anything later may I go to the dance studio downtown and work out by myself for a bit?" I asked her sweetly, hoping she would agree.

"Sure, do you want me to drive you?" She asked, indicating the car keys in her hand.

"No, that's alright, I feel like walking." I bowed to her, "Goodbye Manager." 

"Be safe." She bowed back.

I waved and smiled to her as I headed out. I opened the lobby doors and slipped my hood over my head, bracing the cold breeze. As I walked I thought of my recent dreams that made me start to think about Kyungsoo more and more. Recently I had been having dreams about Kyungsoo in a more romantic and intimate way. I would wake with a racing heart and it made it hard to look at him because the Kyungsoo I saw was the lovely boyfriend Kyungsoo in my dreams. I sighed and shook my head, walking closer to the dance studio.

I either need to forget him or break up with Sehun... maybe I can talk to Xiumin and Suho to figure it out.

I had my headphones in as I walked up the stairs and into the dance studio that I was supposed to have for several hours. The room had a lingering smell of sweat and energy drinks, the fusion of the two made me cringe at my first inhale. I was texting Moa and Montana. Moa couldn't come with me because she had a lot of office work to do, I didn't mind. Montana was just going to bed, but couldn't sleep. I entered the dance studio and went straight to the couch and speaker in the corner. I placed my shoulder bag down on the soft cushions and plugged my ipod in to the speaker. I set my phone on loud and set it on the table with the speaker. I faced the couch and a playlist of all the songs I knew the dances to. I started and paused several times to take a drink or to message Montana and Moa back. My shoulder was still slightly injured and pain would shoot through its muscles as I danced. I tried my best to ignore the pain and just kept dancing. I was sweating profusely and had to lightly wipe my sweaty forehead with a towel I brought. I checked the time and saw that it was 6pm; I had been there for 4 hours already. I knew Kyungsoo or Kai would be worried, so I went over to my phone and messaged them.

Me: "Dancing, will be leaving soon." 

I sent and turned my music back on. I danced through two more songs before my phone went off loudly.

Kyungsoo: "You are good at dancing." 

I tilted my head to the message.

Me: "I try, but how do you know?" 

I sent back as I grabbed a towel to wipe my sweat.

Kyungsoo: "Turn around." 

I stiffened a little and spun, looking to the door behind me. Kyungsoo was leaning against the wall with a smile.

"Kyungsoo-ah! You can't sneak up on me like that!" I hissed as I covered my sweaty head with the towel.

"I was walking by and saw you inside, how could I not stop?" He walked over to me.

After those recent dreams, I've been trying to keep my distance. Even though he didn't know about them, and he had no way of knowing my feelings, I still felt awkward around him. Even more so now that the two of us were alone in this room.

"I don't know..." I mumbled and looked down at my fiddling fingers, trying to focus on something beside him.

My heart is pounding so hard! Is it going to pop out of my chest?

"I was trying to think of what to make for dinner, anything in particular you want?" He tilted his head in question.

"Particular.... Not really." I smiled and went over to the speaker, unplugging my ipod.

"Do you want to practice a dance with me real quick? Something before we head back?" He asked in hope.

I felt a yawn coming and I covered it as I plugged my ipod back in, "Sure, you can choose."

He walked over to the table and reached around me to grab the Ipod. I flinched slightly to how close he was. He stopped moving for a moment and looked at me out of the corner of his eyes. I clenched my teeth and turned away, walking over to the couch arm. I sat on the edge and waited for him.

Did he see me flinch away?

He chose one of their songs and he showed me which one it was before hitting play. I hurried into position and danced the song in an almost tense manner. Him being so close made me breath and move in a much quicker pace. Just being in the same room has made me skittish. I was focusing so much on where he was that I completely messed up the dance. He ran over and paused the music, looking at me in wonder.

"Are you feeling okay?" He asked.

"I'm just a little tired, otherwise I'm fine, why?" I tried to cover up my tension.

"You look a little, ummm, nervous... Are you feeling alright? Are you getting sick? Your cheeks are red..." He approached me and reached to touch my forehead.

I pulled back a little and I saw the betrayal in his eyes, I saw the sadness. I forced a smile and looked him square in the face.

"I'm sweaty, I didn't want you to get grossed out when you touched me. Sorry." I bowed a little and gave a fake sigh.

I could tell he didn't believe me, but he still chose to smile back, "I see, then we should probably head back if you're that tired. I'll make something replenishing for dinner." He nodded to me and handed me my ipod. 

I nodded and quickly grabbed my shoulder bag, following him to the door. He turned the lights out and opened the door for me.

"Thank you." I nodded and exited, heading for the exit.

"I'll call a driver." He took out his phone.

"Go ahead, I'm going to walk." I informed him.

"Walk?" He looked at me in surprise.

"Yeah, whenever I'm done dancing I walk back." I nodded and spoke as if the situation was a normal one.

"Isn't it a little dangerous to do that?" He asked, his eyes traveling to my shoulder.

"It could be, but Tao has been teaching me Kung Fu and I wear a hat and glasses to cover up myself." I smiled.

I don't feel as nervous now...

We stopped right before the exit.

"Can I walk with you today?" He asked.

"Sure, would you like the glasses or hat?" I asked, pulling them out.

"I'll take the hat." He smiled as I handed it to him.

The hat had become a little worn, but it was the same 'WOLF' hat I had bought when meeting BTS. He put it on and it made his ears stick out a little more than usual, making me giggle. I put on the black and white 'hipster' glasses. I looked at my reflection in the exit's door and stared at myself a moment. I reached into my bag and pulled out a head band. I slid it through my head and watched my hair stick up like a peacock in the reflection. I heard Kyungsoo trying to contain his laughter. I pulled my hood up and saw it cover just a little of my forehead. I looked at him sternly, hoping I looked normal.

"Ready?" I asked.

"Yeah." He nodded.

"Off we go." I opened the door and held it open for him as I stepped into the chilly night air.

We headed down the street and walked side by side, people walking past us without really looking. Some bicyclers rode past, ringing their bells as a warning and what not. We were silent as we walked, not even looking to each other. Kyungsoo cleared his throat and I jumped a little to the sudden noise.

"So ummm..." He started awkwardly, fully gaining my attention, "How is it going with ummm Sehun?" He asked.

"God you're awkward." I sighed and he chuckled, "It's fine... I don't know... I don't know if it'll last much longer." I shrugged like it was nothing.

Kyungsoo looked at me in plain shock, "Is he breaking up with you?" He asked quickly.

What is that in his eyes? Hope?

"No, if anything I'll be the one breaking up with him." I gave a laugh and Kyungsoo smiled brightly.

"I see." He chuckled happily.

"Why?" I smirked at him, wondering why he was so happy.

Before he could respond his eyes went wide and he grabbed my elbows and pulled me against his chest, turning me away from something. I heard the ringing of a frantic bicyclist and I felt the breeze of someone zooming past us. I looked over his shoulder and saw some teenagers flipping us off and riding off. Kyungsoo grabbed my cheeks in his hands and looked me over. 

"Are you okay? You didn't get hurt did you?" He asked, his face VERY close to mine.

My breathing quickened and my whole system seemed to speed up because of him.

"Woah!!! That was just like those scenes in a drama! All we were missing was the sappy music, slow motion, and overly replayed moment!" But I played it off as more excitement than anything else, hoping he would believe me.

He blinked a couple times before letting me go and giggling, "You're strange you know that?"

I laughed, thankfully he didn't notice, "I know! But you have to admit that it was just like a drama!!"

He chuckled, "I guess."

I arm pumped, knowing I had successfully diverted his attention and made it less obvious that I was freaking out.  We walked back home and as soon as we walked in we were greeted by a hungry Kai.

"Where have you two been?! I'm STARVING! I was five seconds away from calling for chicken!" He whined, grabbing my hands and dragging me inside.

"Kai, calm down, we walked home after some dancing." I sighed.

"BUT I'M HUNGRY!" He whined louder.

"What did I tell you about whining?!" Kyungsoo growled at him while he rolled up his sleeves in the kitchen.

Kai only pouted and I furrowed my brows and peered at him a little angrily, "And what did I tell you about calling that chicken place?" I asked sternly.

"Not to do it... unless an emergency." He grumbled.

"Exactly, this wasn't an emergency, plus I bought you ramen just the other day, if you were so hungry just eat that!" I pointed to his ramen cabinet.

Over the years this same thing happened and Kai was wasting money on chicken, so I bought him ramen and made sure he had a certain cabinet for it. He still doesn't like the idea, but I let it slide and just keep getting it for him.

"But I wanted meat!" He whined.

"WHINING!" Kyungsoo shouted and Kai flinched, cowering into me more.

We really are like a family.

"Don't yell at him, he's just upset because he's hungry, you know how he gets." I looked to Kyungsoo.

He sighed, knowing he couldn't go against me, "Just listen to her Jongin, she buys you food and everything, just eat what she gets."

Kai pouted out his bottom lip because D.O used his real name, which meant serious business.

"Alright dad." He mumbled back.

I hit Kai roughly on the shoulder, "Jongin!" 

Kai looked away sadly. It was one thing when Kyungsoo said his real name, it was a completely different story when I did. 

"Sorry..." He pouted.

I rolled my eyes and ruffled his hair, "Just sit down with me and wait for dinner you drama queen.

He sighed and took a seat next to me at the counter. The three of us laughed and had fun while Kyungsoo cooked, I wrote a letter home, and Kai played around on his ipad. I told the two of them the contents of my letter and they smiled, nodding to the fact that it was sentimental and perfect for my parents. As I was sealing it into an envelope Kyungsoo cleared his throat, indicating he wanted my attention.

"Hm?" I scrawled my parents address onto the envelope and slid it on the counter to indicate I was done.

"Are you doing anything after your schedule tomorrow? Kai and I were wondering if you wanted to go out to eat with us. We haven't done it in a while." He asked as he sautéed some carrots and onions.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I already have plans with Suho and Xiumin, we are going to have a discussion over some coffee." I apologized, leaning on Kai like a tired child.

"Discussion? What kind of discussion?" Kai asked.

"About stuff that you don't need to know."

"It's about me isn't it?" Kai asked dramatically.

"Yes Kai, we are sneaking away and talking about you over a cup of coffee." I said sarcastically, "The whole world doesn't revolve around you silly."

Kyungsoo laughed and continued to prepare our dinner, "Don't ask her about that kind of stuff Kai, you know she likes to keep things like that secret from us." 

Even though it shouldn't have, that comment bothered me, knowing that it was true, I DID keep secrets from them.

"I know." Kai sighed as I straightened, watching Kyungsoo finish up the meal.

It looked familiar and I looked off, trying to think of where I'd seen it before. Suddenly it hit me!

Jin made that for me before!
 

We spent the next half hour eating the meal and chatting happily about how fun every concert is. Before I knew it I was falling asleep at the kitchen table, my eyes drooping with an unstoppable force.

"I think she's sleepy."  Kai chuckled.

Those were the last words I heard before I officially fell asleep, the warmth of their company making a small smile stay on my face.