Bonus chapter:

Peanut

“Luhan!”

Silence. Only silence.

I thrashed around, unsatisfied. “Luhan, pay attention to me!”

The bedroom door cracked open, and a moment later, Luhan’s head peeped out. “Were you calling for me?”

“Yes, I was calling you.”

I heard his footsteps as he paced his way to me. “I was looking over stuff for tomorrow—” Luhan cut himself off. “What are you doing lying on the stairs like that?

I was settled on the third last step of the staircases. Frowning, I leaned back against the wood, practically looking lifeless. “I’m upset right now and you’re not paying attention to me,” I muttered quietly without looking at him.

Luhan took a seat beside me, looking over me like he wasn’t sure if he should be concerned or not. “What’s wrong? Are you feeling okay? This is a really weird place to take a nap, you know.”

“I’m not trying to take a nap.”

He blinked, still confused. “Why are you upset?”

“I can’t…” I mumbled the rest of my sentence, a large part of me wanting for him not to hear.

“You can’t…?” Luhan urged me to continue, staring at me with those perfect eyes that were currently b with worry.

I squeezed my eyes shut before exclaiming, “I can’t tie my shoes!”

Tying my shoes suddenly became an impossible task that I couldn’t overcome because of the barrier of a mountain that was my pregnant 28 week old belly.

“I just wanted to go for a little walk before we eat dinner, but I can’t even tie my shoes. It feels like I’m squishing the baby. I’m going to have to start wearing those ugly slip-on shoes, aren’t I? I just…” I let out a defeated sigh, feeling out of breath even if I was only sitting down. “I can’t tie my shoes, Luhan.”

Luhan pinched my nose. “Silly, if you can’t tie your shoes, just ask me. I would tie your shoes happily.”

I was in awe while I watched him kneel in front of me. He reached down and as he promised looped the fabric and tightened it securely.

“See? All better.”  Luhan took his spot beside me on the stairs again, smiling contently. “Anything else? Should I start prepping for dinner?”

“No, stay with me.” I leaned into his shoulder for a moment of silence, not letting him escape so soon. He didn’t seem to object anyway. I couldn’t be more than thankful for him for being able to put up with all my mood swings. I was happy and affectionate one moment, and then whiny and bratty the next. “How is work?” I asked, filling the quietness of the house.

The company sent me off to maternity leave earlier than I wanted. Luhan was still kept busy at work, however, as they put him with a temporary new boss before I’d be back. I was lonely during the days where he’d be gone for work. In the earlier months, I used to see him off for work at the front door each time. That had gotten difficult to do the more it became a challenge to get out of bed.

“It’s okay.” Luhan’s lips slightly tugged down at the corners. “I don’t like where my new desk is. It’s next to the men’s restroom. I have to be away from my desk for at least half an hour after lunch time because Junho comes in to do his business and it stinks up my desk area.”

I laughed, patting his hand as if it would make things better. “Oh yeah? What else?”

“I used to flirt with my old boss, but she went on maternity leave. So it’s not as fun at work anymore.”

“You’re so weird!” For some reason, I laughed even harder, nudging him with my shoulder.

I recalled Yeung who was his temporary new boss and was there for a while until she’d have to go back to the Beijing branch of Fatale. I visited for lunch time one afternoon and met the woman. She was beautiful and overall looked so confident with herself. Luhan and her liked to converse in Chinese together in private as her Korean wasn’t very good.

“I think Yeung is pretty,” I mindlessly blubbered

“Mmm.”

Turning my head, I stared at Luhan. “What does ‘mmm’ even mean? Do you agree and think she’s pretty too?”

“Ehh.” He shrugged. “I think she’s okay— Oww!”

I had unintentionally hit his shoulder harder than I intended. Maybe it was pregnancy strength. “You don’t have to lie! You can tell me if you think she’s hot.”

“Is this a trick question?” Luhan gasped at that possibility. “I honestly think she’s okay. Not as hot as you’re implying, though.”

“You can tell me the truth. You’re just trying to boost my confidence, I know. This is the fattest I’ve ever been. And this is coming from a girl who had a chocolate fountain in her room during the seventh grade.”

When I made the motion to stand, Luhan was already one step ahead and helping me to my feet by holding my hand. “You’re not fat! You do know that when you weight yourself, you’re weighing the baby too? Plus, you have to eat for two people now.”

“I know that. That’s not the point. I can’t fit into my jeans anymore.” I shrugged on a sweater while Luhan worked on tying a scarf around my neck.

“Sora, I’m serious. You are beautiful.”

I looked at the ground—frowning down at my tied shoe laces. “You’re supposed to say that. It’s practically your job.”

“Sora,” he whined. “Why don’t you believe me?”

“If you tell me you think Yeung is hot, then I’ll believe you.”

“You are so difficult right now! I’m serious. Just remember that you,” Luhan forced me to look up at him, taking my face in between his hands, “are so beautiful and amazing for carrying the best gift in the world for us. I can’t even imagine how you’re doing it, but I know it’s not easy.”

I couldn’t help but break into a smile. He leaned in for a quick and simple kiss that still managed to stir my guts into mush.

“How’s peanut, by the way?” Luhan fondly rubbed my belly.

Peanut was what he was calling our baby as he was still nameless. My mother’s idea was to give our son a more Chinese-sounding name and she was already suggesting. Luhan’s parents on the other hand just wanted grandchildren and were okay with anything.

“He’s doing great. He’ll run out of space to stretch and kick soon.”

“That means he’s almost here.” Luhan bent down to leave a kiss on my tummy.

I smiled at that. “I miss you. Why couldn’t they send me on maternity leave when I’m at least 8 months in?”

“You’ll be stressed. I’d rather you stay home and relax. You’re probably sore all over.”

I eyed him while he put his jacket on as well. “Wait a minute…” I mused. “Are you the one who told the Chief to send me off early?”

Luhan stared at the ground for a reason that was obviously trouble. “What?” he asked, pretending not to hear me the first time.

“Luhan!”

“I just want what’s best for the both of you! I’m sorry.” He stepped up to guiltily wrap his arms around my body. “Don’t take it as an insult. I wasn’t trying to get rid of you.”

I rolled my eyes comically. “I know, I know.”

“I’ll walk with you?” Luhan offered his hand out. “Just around the block though. I’m starving.”

I peeked underneath the couch, heart beating harshly against my ribcage when I saw it was nothing but dust and dirt on the floor again. I looked above, and then around the furniture and came out empty handed. The lobby’s receptionist named Hani watched with wide eyes while I was literally crawling around the lobby on my hands and knees. I had disregarded my heels five minutes ago and tossed them somewhere else when I realized they were just slowing me down.

“Lian!” I whispered harshly. I searched behind a potted plant. “Lian?”

“Mrs. Lu, can I help you look for something?” Hani spoke up, appearing to be concerned this time. It probably looked like I was playing hide and seek with a ghost.

“Not something. Someone,” I corrected and straightened myself out to sigh in frustration. I ran a hand through my now even-messier hair. “I turned around for just a second. Just a second,” I emphasized.

I was beyond stressed out. The last time Lian played hide and seek like that, I found him asleep and wedged inside the pantry cabinets behind a sack of flour. Not totally giving up just yet, I checked behind the coffee machine, disrupting some of the visitors who were also blankly staring.

“Can I ask who you’re looking for?” Hani said.

“My son. He’s this short.” I demonstrated his height with my hand.

She hesitated to pick up the telephone on her desk. “Do you want me to call Luhan?”

“No!” I hurried to her before she could even think about calling Luhan. I leaned against her desk and caught my breath. “He’ll just freak out. This is a huge building.”

I repeated that fact to myself. This was a huge building.

Getting on my knees again, the last place I haven’t checked was behind Hani’s desk. I politely asked her to move so I could search. “Lian?” I heard the desperation in my voice when I called out his name. “I'll get you a bike! I promise!”

“Maybe we should phone your husband,” she suggested again in the middle of smiling apologetically to visitors.

“Okay!” I slowly stood to my feet, raising my hands up in surrender and blowing hair out of my face. “Okay, fine. You can call him.”

I watched as Hani dialed the number in and then held out the phone for me to take. I held the receiver against my ear. Chewing on a nail, I listened attentively for every ring. Each millisecond that passed by while I waited for Luhan’s voice caused my blood pressure to rise.  

He picked up after the second ring. “Mrs. Lu’s office. How can I help you?”

“Hi!” I cringed at how fake and enthusiastic I sounded. “Umm, how are you?”

“Sora?”

“Yes, it’s me. I…” I took in a deep breath. “I’m about to tell you something, but please don’t freak out.”

“What happened? I promise I won’t freak out.” He seemed to sense the panic in my voice. “Where are you? Are you hurt?”

I pinched my nose bridge. “No, I’m fine. I’m down at the lobby.”

“Lobby? What are you doing there? I’m feeding Lian those animal crackers right now. He said he was hungry.”

I paused.

“Wait, what?” I nearly shrieked.

“I’m feeding him crackers,” he hesitantly continued. “Should I have given him something else?”

“No those are fine. He’s with you?” I had to ask to double check. Just to make sure I wasn’t hearing wrong.

“…Yes?” Luhan sounded more confused than concerned by then. “By the way, what’s he doing here?”

“I’m coming up to you right now.” I hung up, thanked and apologized to Hani repeatedly before I grabbed my shoes off the floor and dashed into the elevator.

I put my shoes on and redid the pins in my hair as quick as I could before the doors opened up to the fifth floor. The familiar ding sounded, and I shot out before the doors could even open all the way. I bustled through the aisles, only getting stopped on my tracks when Jiwon wheeled his chair in front of me.

He was waving a pen around as he spoke. “Hey, I saw a little guy coming through here. Isn’t he yours?”

“Yes! Yes, where is he?” At hearing the news that someone had actually spotted him, I could have hugged the life out of Jiwon and squeezed him to death.

“With Luhan in the break room.” He stared pointedly at me. “Wait, did you lose your son?”

“Not now!” I scurried away before he could laugh.

I rushed into the break room, eyes wide and searching, and surely enough Luhan and Lian were inside. Lian was sitting on his father’s lap while he nibbled on crackers. Because he was too busy chewing, he could only say hello to me by waving his little fist in the air that gripped unto the bag of crackers. He scattered a few crumbs.

Luhan followed what Lian was waving at and we locked gazes. “There you are! You look exhausted. What happened?”

“I can tell you some other time.” I tried not to look too surprised to see them there and acted as if I knew where Lian was for the last ten minutes. “Lian, how did you…?” I looked out the door, wondering how he got up to the fifth floor when I was in the lobby with him minutes ago.

“Sora, what’s he doing here? Is the daycare closed today?” Luhan asked, though quickly added, “Not that I didn’t want to see this little booger. I’m just surprised.” He tickled him, causing Lian to squeal.

“I apparently didn’