“How true that Park ShinHye is the reason why you and Jung YongHwa broke up? Is it true that you married him before leaving Korea? Is it also true that you've aborted the baby in America? Does YongHwa know you were pregnant?” The reporter asked continuously taking the chances of getting an answer from her since everyone knew that they have been avoiding those questions for three years.

“Yes, that’s true.”

The room was soon filled with flashes of cameras to capture her reaction; all cameras are on roll to record everything that she’s going to say because apparently they knew this will be a big scoop in the Korean Entertainment world.

Because after three years, somebody speak up about the controversies and it’s not just a simple representative of YongHwa or Seohyun but it’s the woman involved, Seohyun.

Seohyun looked at the corner of the room where her manager was seated and she can tell that she’s worried but she still nods at her and smile as if telling her that what she’s doing is right.

“This will be the first and definitely the last time I’m going to talk about him and everything that happened for the past three years. Because ladies and gentlemen, I may be a Korean idol to all of you but I am very private when it comes to my personal matters, if you would notice I don't really share everything that's happening to me in public unless otherwise I was asked. I also believe that idols still deserve their own privacy. Our privacy still needs to be respected not to be invaded. I hope you will all respect that.” She began full of confidence. Seohyun may look so tough and full of confidence but deep inside she is actually shaking, feeling nervous is an understatement. She knew that she will be asked about it and she prepared herself to tell them everything that happened but she didn’t know that just by remembering everything that happened is such a nerve wrecking feeling. She takes a deep breath before she continues.

“I don’t know why he did not clear up those rumors when it started. As far as I know, he’s the kind of person who will always finds a way to clear any misunderstanding or rumors about him so it kinda surprise me to know that he remained quiet about it and he knows me, he knew I will never do anything like that. I didn’t know that such rumors exist until I arrived here so saying I remained quiet about it is actually wrong. I was really busy studying and working in America that I didn’t really have any time to check news there.” She seriously said eyes not leaving the mediamen. Anyone who can see her now will never think her heart is ready to explode anytime as she looks so serious while talking.

“It’s true. We’re married when I left Korea, we got married twice actually but I was not pregnant when I left Korea. And if ever I was, I would have kept the baby. I’m not that kind of person who will take away the chance to see the world to someone who still doesn’t even see a glimpse of how wonderful the world is and he knows that. Unfortunately, I was not pregnant during that time so you can search all the hospitals in America as well as here but I’m confident that you won’t see any records of me having an abortion.” She explained still trying to smile hoping that they will change the topic already but they didn’t.

“So if you got married then the news about you breaking up was not true?”

“No. It’s true. We’re married but we are already on the process of filing a divorce. It’s true that we broke up before I left.”

The room was once again filled with whispers; some are busy typing on their laptops while talking to the other press people beside them.

“Actually as we speak, my lawyers are already on the process of sending him our divorce paper for the third time. Yes, third time because for some reasons that I don’t really understand, we sent him divorce paper twice but it both came back to us unsigned. So I was actually telling my lawyers that I would give it to him personally.”

“Don’t you think the reason why he’s not signing it is because he still wants to patch things up with you?” A female in front asked again.

She smiled as she swallowed a hard lump in before she began talking again.  “Jung YongHwa ssi and I, we really started very young. I was 20 and he was 22 at that time, we did a lot of things together, we built our dreams together, we reached for our dreams together, we even witnessed how our own groups reached its own success, I built my dreams with him. At that time, I can already see my future with him, I even dreamed of growing old with him, we were so happy and in loved that we –“ She bit her lower lips to suppress the tears that might come out but to no avail.

“W-We were really happy and in loved that we managed to do the bravest things together even the craziest. Everything seems to be perfect for the two of us that we even got married twice thinking that what we had was real and for keeps but I guess, between the two of us, I was just the one who was thinking that way because it happened. T-The thing I never imagined happened. He hurt me, emotionally.” She tried to avoid it it but a soft sobs escape. She wiped her tears with her fingers. She blew out an air while fanning herself with her hands to stop her tears before she continues. “Though I can say that I moved on, patching things up with him will never be that easy. I have moved on, I forget the pain that he gave me but I’m not yet ready to forgive him. I’m still getting in that stage, hopefully, someday, I’ll be able to do that.” She said wiping her tears that continues to comes out from her eyes like free flowing water.

 “I just want us to have our own freedom. I want us to find our own happiness and I want us to love again  that is why I’m filing a divorce because I believe that it’s all over between us. I know that he’s happy right now and that our marriage is the only thing that makes it hard for him to go on.” She added.

“Do you still love him? Did you talk to him after coming back to Korea?”

“We’ve been together for more than six years and I would be lying to everyone if I said that I don’t love him anymore. The feeling is still there, unfortunately. I have moved on because I finally accept the fact that we will not be together anymore and I’m really fine with it but it’s still there because if I don’t love him anymore, talking about what happened will never be this painful. The feelings will always be there, I don’t think it will fade away easily because he was my first love but it’s already over, I finally realized that fantasies aren’t real, I’m giving up because that’s what’s best for us.”

“We met this morning for the first time but we did not talk about what happened. It’s purely about the drama. We’re both working hard for it so I hope that despite what happened, people would still support us.” She added.

“There is a rumor that Park ShinHye was the reason of the break up. Is it true?”

She giggled upon hearing the question. She sits properly and flips her hair. “Do I really have to answer that question? I think it would be inappropriate if we drag another name on this issue. I’ve said my piece and I think that would be enough. Let's put an end to this issue here, this issue should have been ended long ago. Let's not add fuel to the fire guys. Let's all move on because we both moved on. Let’s proceed with questions related to my future projects if you don’t mind. Thank you.”

The reporters though disappointed that she did not answer the last question properly proceeded in asking her related to her future plans.

============================================================================================

[SEOHYUN’s POV]

“Are you really fine?” I heard JiYoung Unnie, my manager, asked me as soon as we reached my apartment after my dinner with MinHo Oppa and MinYoung Unnie. I actually called it a miracle that I manage to dine with them as if nothing happens, as if what happens in the press conference did not bother me at all and as if remembering every detail that happened did not pained me at all.

“I’m fine Unnie.” I manage to tell her but I know that she didn’t buy it. She knows me so well.

“Take a rest. I’ll pick you up tomorrow for your dance practice.” Just when I thought she’ll scold me for answering those questions she didn’t.

I know that she was thinking I was ready already, I thought the same way too. I thought I’m ready to talk about him, I manage to look at him straight in his eyes without feeling anything, I know for myself that I move on. It’s been three years, but why does it hurts so much? Why does remembering everything that happened hurts so bad?

I gave them a slight nod before I enter my own room. The moment I locked the door, reality hit me. I’m alone and he’ll never come back to me. I saw how happy he is right now. The way he smiles at her, those smiles that he only shows to me, he can show it to her too. I used to be the reason of those smiles.

Suddenly, I felt like something is clenching my heart, I can hardly breathe. I did my best not to let out any sobs so people outside won’t worry about me but I failed to do so.

It was just a soft sobs at first then it became louder. I feel better every time I let out a louder sobs, the louder the sobs that I make, the better I felt.It feels like the thing that makes me hard to breathe was gone. It felt so good to cry after a long time. Thinking about it, I can’t remember the last time I cried because of him. All this time I kept telling myself that I'm fine and that I'm over him but today I realized that I've been fooling everyone including myself about what I really felt. Yes, I still love him, there I finally said it after three years, I still love him and I know that the feeling isn't mutual anymore and I never thought that loving him would be this painful.

Slowly, I reached for my bed and lay down. As if on cue, tears start to fall again but this time I can’t control it anymore. It flows continuously that I can’t stop it at all.

‘That’s right JooHyun-ah, let’s cry all we want now because this will be the last time you’ll cry because of him.’

I thought to myself as I hug my pillow and bury my head beneath it then cry my heart out.

-=-=-=-=-

I don’t know how many hours I cried until I fell asleep last night. I can’t even remember how I manage to sleep. All I can remember is I when I woke up this morning with a severe headache, all I can hear are multiple footsteps outside my room and when I open the door I saw all of my staffs busy preparing everything that I needed for my activities that day. I sat in front of my mirror and looked at my own reflection. I saw my puffy eyes; anyone can tell I cried all night. I lifted my hands to cover my face.

“Life must go on.” I heard a familiar voice behind me so I remove my hands and looked in the mirror. She pulled a chair behind me so I turn around to look at her. She gave me some pill and a glass of water. I immediately take the pill and drank the water.

“That’s what you always told me after my divorce.” She said as she picked up my hairbrush and starts combing my hair as if it will make me feel better. She took a deep breath to stop the tears that wanted to escape from her eyes. She looked up trying to stop her tears.

 “You told me that even though he left me for another woman, I can’t just sulk in a corner crying making everyone pity me. They are doing everything for you,JoohYun-ah, WE are doing everything for you so don’t just cry because of him, don’t make him pity you and don’t make  ShinHye thinks you’re being miserable because of them. Don’t make her think she’s the winner because you know that isn’t true.” She said as she puts her hands on my shoulders and held it tightly.

“But Unnie—“

“No! Don’t give me that look! I know that kind of look! Don’t even dare giving up!  Don’t even think of it! You’ve come this far, I know how you’re feeling, deep inside here, it’s still him. You can lie to everyone but not to me.” She said pointing to my chest.

“I know that you still love him but I let you go back here to end everything with him if that will make you happy. Whether you will finish your unfinished business with him or you’ll get back together, it’s something we still have to find out. I know that it will be hard for you but you can’t show it to them. You can’t show them you’re weak, you can’t show them you’re still hurting because of them. You have to show them you’re strong, show him what he lost and show her you’re better than her because you are. Do you understand that?”

“It’s hard Unnie. I can’t. It hurts so much Unnie. It’s so painful..I-It’s--” I said in between sobs.

“Life isn’t over for you just because he cheated on you. Life must go on JooHyun-ah. You have to show them what you’ve got. Show them who you really are. I know you’re a strong woman, I believe you’ll get through this. We’ll get through this. So get a grip! Right now!”She said full of authority while looking at me fiercely still holding my shoulders tightly and gently shaking it as if it will make me get back to my real self.

I took a deep breath then wipe my tears. Everything that she said is true; I can’t show them I’m weak. Whatever we had in the past, it’s all over now, there’s no reason of going back or even of thinking we can still fix this because I know that we can’t.

“You’re right. Life isn’t over just because he hurt me. I’ll get through this because I’m a strong woman.”

JiYoung nods in agreement. “You’re not just strong, you’re great. You are Seo Joo Hyun, remember that.”

“Ne. I’ll put that in mind.” She said full of determination.

She smiles at me and continue brushing my h