My first week with Phoenix Sisterhood was dedicated to practicing for the upcoming SM Entertainment Global Auditions. At this competition, all groups and individuals compete for six slots to audition for free at SM Entertainment's open auditions. What made this year special was the rumor that Super Junior and SHINee will be making guest appearances as well as performances. Also, the first place group or solo would automatically begin promoting to debut a month later. So, for five days, I saw the ugly sides of all 11 girls and I shouldn't have to mention how stressed we were. Let's just say that I was thankful that classes at Soonchunhyang University didn't start, yet.

"Chin up, Sonnie! Your head has to be straight!" growled Daesoo. I had never seen her anger until two days before the audition. It was clear that everyone was amazed at my voice, but pissed at my dancing.

"What the f*** are you doing, Sonnie?! That move is pivotal! Your solo is at that part!" snapped Kyungmi. She positioned my floppy arms and turned my head. "This freeze-frame is crucial! How can you mess that up? And you're in the front, too!"

"Sonnie! Sway your hips as you strut! You have to be sassy! Be a ! BE A !!!" squawked Eunjae in her raspy voice.

That was the last straw.

"I can't! It's in high heels, dammit!" I snarled back. Minhee heard me and gave me that hard look again. I shot it right back at her.

"Sonnie! Are you talking back now?!" Minhee demanded in a pitch higher than usual.

"I'm not perfect, you know! I'm doing my best to walk in these stupid stilettos with pencil-tipped heels! What do you expect me to do?!" I spat. With that, I unstrapped the heels of horror from my aching feet and flung it at the couch in the practice room. I stomped up to my room, slammed the door shut, and laid down on my bed to cry quietly.

Suffice it to say, there was A LOT of drama. During that time, it was strange to find that Woojin was my comfort. He came and talked to me whenever he was free from school and taekwondo. He helped me with my Korean and even ate dinner with me since everyone else had eaten before me one night. I grew to like him more and more and eventually, I developed a crush on him. I began to look forward to spending time with him every afternoon. On the afternoon before the performance, he invited me to go walking around campus to clear our minds. Of course, I agreed.

From our dorms, we walked down the hill. I glanced at him, while nervousness coursed through me like an electric shock. He seemed content with just silence alone, so I decided to keep my mouth shut. After a few minutes, he spoke.

"Are you nervous about tomorrow?"

"Yes, a little," I sheepishly replied. I bit my lip. "I don't know how we'll do, but I have to believe that we'll do well."

Woojin nodded his head. "Of course. That's how it should be. Don't stop believing and have faith."

We rounded a building and continued walking towards the library. I cleared my throat. "So... will you be there to watch us perform?"

"I... I can't. The last international student will be arriving tomorrow. I have to pick them up." I frowned. Of course, he wouldn't be able to go. He's not obligated to come to our performances. What was I thinking?

Struggling to hide my disappointment, I stooped down to tie my shoes. I could already feel my tears stinging my eyes, but I refused to let them show. Woojin stopped and waited for me at the bottom of the hill. I stood up, wiped away stray tears from my cheeks, and continued walking towards him. He glanced back at me and gave a startled look.

"What's wrong, Sonnie? Why are you crying?"

"Oh, it's nothing. I'm just nervous about tomorrow, that's all..." He knew I was lying, but he didn't pry any further. Instead, he took a step toward me and pulled me into a tight hug. My eyes widened at this sudden action; I wasn't sure how to respond to it.

"Don't worry, Sonnie. I know that you are disappointed that I won't be there. If I can make it to COEX mall before your performance, then I'll be there. I can't promise you that I will be there, but I can promise that I will try," he murmured against my hair. He released me and lifted my chin up so that we were eye to eye. "Don't cry. And don't hide it from me. I can tell when you are mad, sad, or happy. When you cry like that, it makes me sad." He wiped the remains of my tears away and walked on, leaving me speechless and confused behind him.

~:~:~:~:~

Minhee gathered us that night to give us a pep talk.

"Girls, all of the blood, sweat, and tears that went into these five days are not in vain. We finally made it! Now, what I want us to do is relax tonight and think about the show. I want to apologize to all of you for the way I've been acting towards you, especially YOU, Sonnie." She hugged me and I was touched at her kindness.

"You know," began Jinae. "I think we all owe Sonnie an apology. She really did work hard and all we did was beat her down..." She squeezed my shoulder in reassurance.

"Not to mention, she was the last member to be added to our group and we didn't even ask her opinion on ANYthing..." Taeyoo murmured. Few others nodded their heads in agreement.

"Mianhae (*I'm sorry), Sonnie-ssi. I was so mean to you..." mumbled Daesoo. Her eyes glistened with tears. Don't cry, Daesoo-ah.

"It's okay. You all don't need to apologize. I was pretty rotten myself and I'm so ashamed... I promise to treat you all well from now on." I vowed. We spent the next ten minutes apologizing to one another.

After that, our conversations died down and we returned to silence.

A few minutes later, everyone jumped when Eunjae spoke, "I just thought of something!!!"

"What is it?" asked everyone at once.

"Sonnie doesn't have a Korean name yet. Should we give her one? I mean, so that she can be like one of us instead of the only one standing out."

"You know, that's not a bad idea," whispered soft-spoken, toffee-haired Nayoung. The others nodded in agreement.

"It's settled, then!" boomed Minhee. I had to lean away from her since she was right next to me.

"What name, though?" asked Chunhye.

"Na Somi," I piped. The girls looked at me with surprise. I shrugged and said, "It sounds cute. And I've always liked that name..."

"Alright. That's your Korean name," stated Minhee like an official. Daesoo, Eunhee, and Minsook giggled at her accent. "You will be Na Somi from now on. How do you like it?"

"Thank you so much!"

Somi.

Just as how Yesung-oppa called me on the plane.

My eyebrows furrowed at the thought of Yesung. It was more than enough that he shared the kiss with that little girl. I just hoped and prayed that I wouldn't be seeing him at the performance the next day.

~:~:~:~:~

It was finally show time. There were 12 groups and 4 individuals competing and the competition we had was quite fierce. Six girl groups, six guy groups, two individual girls, and two individual guys. Only three from the guys and three from the girls could pass for the free auditioning. And if a group was lucky, the panel of judges would ask a certain individual or group to perform with Super Junior or SHINee onstage and first place would be chosen to debut soon after.

Phoenix Sisterhood was fourth on the list and it didn't help our nerves to know that fact.

For the first three performances, all of us did things to calm ourselves down in the waiting room. Minhee mumbled to herself, "Timing is everything," over and over again. Eunhee tried to warm up her voice with scales and eight octave scales. All our rappers practice their raps and all our lead dancers went over their moves. I kept trying to convince myself that we were okay, that we were going to win something.

We were able to watch the performances on a TV in the waiting room and, of course, they were spectacular. The first group was called Korea's Finest, a five-girl group who specialized in dancing. I winced, actually WINCED, when they blew a kiss to the crowd. Because their performance was AMAZING, WAY too good! The next was a boy group called Seoul Movers, comprised of five Acapella singers who did their rendition of DBSK's Picture of You. Some girl even ran onstage and gave the leader a kiss on the lips! The next guy was named S Double-K (Kim Sangkyun) a beat-boxing rapper who beat-boxed and rapped an entire song from top to bottom. At the end, lifted his shirt to show his abs like Jay Park would've done. The whole crowd screamed as he flipped off stage and into the mosh pit.

"," I muttered. We were next. I couldn't think of how we were going to compete with those incredible performers before us. I shot a glance at Eunjae before going onstage. She locked eyes with me and mouthed, "Ready?" I nodded in response. We filed onto the stage and took our positions. My heart thumped loudly against my chest, almost to the point of hyperventilation. I willed my heartrate to slow so that I could focus on the performance. 

The crowd roared with support as the lights dimmed onstage. We began:

Pause, snap. x 8

"Hey~" sang my voice on the speakers. This ad-lib note isn't too bad!

The lights flashed on and the crowd screamed! All twelve of us were in black clothing, all in "Don't Don" style. (All of us chose someone to dress like except like Ryeowook.) I even thought that I looked y! Our song was called, "Whatcha Want," and it drove the guys in the crowd nuts.

"Whatcha want, whatcha want, whatcha really want?" At the chorus, we did a V-shaped formation and mirrored body rolls. Then we strutted to the front to wave our butts to the crowd, and one of the guys even slapped Kyungmi's .

"Naega (*I am) x 8, Iryeoke (*Like this) x 4"  for the second time was our second-to-last chorus before my solo. At my solo, we freeze-framed while I unfroze and sang while gliding to the front. "I can give you all you want, Just say the word and we'll go. I can give you all I have, but you gotta want it, want it, want it... x 2" I gave wink and blew a kiss to the guys closest to the front. They shouted with glee and tried to "grab" my kiss.

Our lead dancers did rotating solos, and our rappers did overlapping raps for the last verse. And we did this all in acapella. We ended with "Whatcha want!" and our 'signature' poses. For me, it was both thumbs in my pockets, hips hitched to the left, and with my neck extended upward while looking down from under my eyelids, which was a very subtle and y pose. 

"Thank you, Phoenix Sisterhood! That was a very y performance of their very own 'Whatcha Want,' folks! If YOU want to see more of Phoenix Sisterhood, baksoo (*applaud)!" boomed the MC through a microphone.

The crowd surprised us with an explosive ovation, while we all smiled from ear-to-ear. So, this is how it feels like to have adoring fans... I love it! ALL of it!

We went backstage and hugged each other crazily. The next 12 performances didn't have the same responses we had, but were excellent all the same. Their names were: Em (Kang Eunmi, female solo), B-boy Rockers (male group), Sheer Charm (female group), Seo Jangho (male solo), FLex (male group), Hwa Younghee (female solo), Stiletto Heels (female group), Steel Fists (male group), Pleasure (female group), Brutes (male group), Like Luscious (female group), and STEAM (male group).

After the final group, we all came onstage for the announcement of who got in for the auditions.

There was a long, silent pause...

"Seoul Movers, S Double-K, Phoenix Sisterhood, Em, Sheer Charm, aaaaaaaand FLex!" We celebrated so loudly that the our cries filled the whole arena! We did it! WE DID IT!!!

"AND, for the grand prize of performing onstage with SUPER JUNIOR... Phoenix Sisterhood!!! You will be able to debut within the month with your new song, 'Whatcha Want!'"

We screamed as Suju filled the stage and surrounded us. Everyone was off-stage except for us and Suju... US and Suju... I gasped. Yesung-oppa!

"Hello, Somi..." mumbled his shy voice. I spun around to see him in his Mr. Simple attire, wearing a small smile. Wh-what am I--? How am I gonna perform with him onstage?! My dream is coming true, but not in the way I expected!

Leeteuk rounded us all together to quickly explain the formation and we mirrored them all for 'Mr. Simple.' The only ones without partners were Minsook and Nayoung. It was awesome! Even though I felt tension between Yesung and I, we sang his parts together very well.

After the performance, with emotions running high, Yesung approached me and pulled me into a bear hug. "Somi, I'm so sorry! You weren't supposed to see that girl... I'm just so sorry!" With that, he lifted my chin and kissed me roughly, but with tenderness. Fireworks began to light up in my head, but fizzled out shortly after. Why isn't this how I expected??? Why do I wish that I was kissing Woojin instead???

I pulled away from Yesung while he looked at me, obviously puzzled. "What is it?"

"I don't... I don't know. I don't feel like... I don't feel like we connect well enough," I mumbled. Sonnie Kay, you are a liar. You like someone else!

"But, we... I like you, don't you like me, too?" Yesung pouted. I looked up at him. My fantasy of two years had already been replaced. There was no denying that fact.

"I don't think so... I'm sorry..." I backed away from him and ran off-stage to the bathroom. Woojin! What do I do? I'm in love with you!

*****Here is the revision for Chapter 7! Enjoy! 3.17.13*****