“So… How are you?” Chu Ga Eul’s eyes perplexed as the question escaped her lips. Her fingers constantly fiddled with the button of her yellow coat somewhere out of her companion’s sight.

“I’m doing fine” So Yi Jeong, the undeniably suave man which GaEul just met after a long, chastising four years replied in a way that sounded nonchalant to her.

“What about you? Are you… doing fine here?”

GaEul chose to gesture out a tiny nod and a half smile to answer his question. She then carefully let out a micro sigh after making sure that YiJeong didn’t notice it. She was very sure that this moment, the very scene of herself and the man that she has been longing for, sitting face to face at the unchanged nostalgic café was what she has been waiting for all these while. But then the scene wasn’t going as what she had imagined it to be. She has always pictured it to be a romantic encounter, accompanied by mesmerizing spring scent and falling Sakura petals, but then this is absolutely not what she had expected. The end of spring sent chilly welcome from the coming winter, causing her to shiver uncomfortably through the whole situation.

“So… how is WooBin sunbae doing?” GaEul uttered another question to beat the awkward atmosphere. She has four years worth of things to ask him, to say to him, but she felt a tennis ball stuck in , causing her verbal ability to plummet badly the second she saw YiJeong stands at the door of her kindergarten class this morning.  YiJeong’s silent mode was making the situation worse. Fear loomed around her, telling her to be afraid. Afraid that he changed his mind, afraid that the promise he once said is now forgotten.

 “He’s doing fine, I guess. I’m not quite sure since I haven’t meet him yet” YiJeong fiddled with his cup cover.

“You… haven’t meet him?” GaEul’s voice beamed a little.

YiJeong nodded his head briefly. “I came straight from the airport” He clears his throat uncomfortably.

            Somehow YiJeong’s short reply incited a smile on GaEul’s face. The fact that he actually kept his words of coming to see her first right after he arrived sent a wave of relief down her seething heart. At least she still has a chance.

            “But then why did you ask about him? Didn’t you meet him often enough?” YiJeong continued the conversation. GaEul couldn’t help but looked at him with a long stare. Something is wrong somewhere.

Then GaEul got it.

The charm, the inevitable charm the mighty So Yi Jeong held in his eyes which has always caused mini heart attack on her heart seems to be absent today. Instead, he looked disturbed and unfocused the whole time, like something is bothering him.

            “Just, I’m wondering how he is doing.” GaEul lied. Honestly, she just couldn’t figure out any un-awkward topic to be brought up other than WooBin. “And we didn’t meet that often. The last time I met him was during White Day” GaEul explained nonchalantly.

            “White Day?” YiJeong looked straight into GaEul’s eyes, causing her to finally have the mini heart attack again.

            “Urm. We had been celebrating White Day together for these past years” GaEul said casually.

YiJeong said nothing and cleared his throat again.

GaEul was going to say something when suddenly her phone rang.

“Oh, MinSeok ah. I’m having lunch outside. Sorry I disappeared without telling.” GaEul pouted a sorry face.

 “I’ll takeout one white bun for you, don’t worry” She smiled brightly.

“I’ll run to you in no time. Duh. I’ll be having class later after all”

GaEul hitched a cute goodbye before ending the call.

“Sunbae, I’m sorry. But I think I have to go back to school right now”

**************

“Jeong!” WooBin stood up the moment he saw YiJeong dragging his luggage lazily into the living room of So Mansion.

YiJeong responded with a smile.

“What took you so long? I’ve been waiting for you since forever” WooBin whined as he hugged his best friend.

“I stopped by somewhere” YiJeong mumbled.

WooBin narrowed his eyes. “GaEul’s?” He teased.

YiJeong didn’t respond to his friend’s prank. He continued to walk apace towards his room, trying his hardest to ignore WooBin who was trailing closely from behind.

“So? Did you propose to her? How was it? How did she react?” WooBin shot him with lots of questions.

Still, there was no respond.

“ Hey. So Yi Jeong. Are you ignoring me? Something is wrong? Are you sick?”

YiJeong hardly opened his mouth.

“Why? Did you meet her or not? Did you give her that necklace?”

“No! I didn’t! I gave her nothing, and I said nothing! Are you satisfied now?” YiJeong finally snapped.

“Why?” WooBin squeaked.

“I don’t know” He said, badly irritated.

WooBin gave his friend a poignant stare.

YiJeong dived onto his bed and buried his head under a pillow.

“You see.” YiJeong suddenly rose up. “I’ve planned everything. I’ve thought of EVERY. SINGLE. THING” He announced. “Words to say, present to give. But the moment I saw her, everything was just, ruined. I freaking forgot what I was supposed to do, and I swear I acted like a perfect fool in front of her, and, and, gah!!!! WHAT IS FREAKING WRONG WITH ME?” he spilled out everything that was nested inside his vulnerable feeling.

“You’ve fallen quite deep, friend” WooBin grinned and lay next to his best friend. “You must’ve been really nervous” he teased.

YiJeong turned his head swiftly to meet his friend’s eyes. “I am So Yi Jeong” he narrowed his eyes. “I don’t do these ‘panic around girl’ things”.

“Maybe she’s not a girl” WooBin muttered.

“Then what is she?” YiJeong snapped, annoyed by his friend’s nonchalant comment.

“An alien?” WooBin answered, which earned him a harsh smack of pillow on his forehead.

“I don’t have the mood to kid around. Keep that up and I’ll really give you a punch” YiJeong threatened. “And you know what?” he continued his story, ignoring WooBin who was rubbing his reddened forehead in pain. “When I finally able to act normal again, a random people called her, and she LEFT”

“So you sent her back to school” WooBin interjected.

YiJeong nodded.

“Before you had the chance to do anything” WooBin continued.

YiJeong nodded again.

“You still have it do you?” WooBin’s face gradually turned serious.

“What?"

“That fear, of commitment”

YiJeong’s expression turned dark as soon as his best friend finished his sentence. He hated the fact that WooBin knew him so well, often more than he knew himself.

He exhaled a big sigh as the memory him back. He who had once locked himself away from love devotion is now in desperate need to release himself. She who holds the key, apparently is the person he once vehemently prohibited from entering his lair of hideout, the one he tried his hardest to push away from his life.

As if fate was playing some jokes on him, the harder he pushed, the closer she gets. And she succeeded in removing his mask of denial before he could even realize it. It took him some time to accept the fact that the country bumpkin was the one who returned the air to him, after the wind cruelly passed by.

So he decided to leave. Pottery lesson in Sweden was actually an excuse for him to run away, but then the new feeling was unexpectedly irreversible. Instead, the feeling grew bigger in a wild and uncontrollable manner. He missed her every single day, longing for her comforting presence but thanks to the devilish thing called ego, and a big portion of the unending fear, he could not get himself to communicate with her. No call, no letter, no messages, nothing came from him.

She was the one who always make sure that they are in touch.

It was four chastising year for YiJeong, who battled with his own feeling. And now when it’s a rear close to the final battle, the fear attacked him again, throwing him into a state of loosing sanity.

“I think I’m going crazy” YiJeong yelled out loud.

“There’s always next time, dude” WooBin patted his best friend’s shoulder.

YiJeong narrowed his eyes at WooBin, repeatedly annoyed by his thoughtless comments. He kept his long stare until something strikes his mind. “Wait, what did you do with GaEul on White Day?” YiJeong asked strictly.

“Me? Well, I don’t quite remember. Did we went for a date?” WooBin tried his best not to burst in laughter.

“You betrayer” YiJeong grabbed WooBin’s collar.

“What? We were both single”

“This sick idiot”

“What did I do?”

“Oh, Shut up”