Taemin and Jongin didn’t interact much, but Taemin could feel the other’s eyes on him all the time. During the first three weeks, Taemin got a lot of friends, from his age, and also a lot of haters. Yet, nobody dared to hurt him, and he knew it was because of Hye Jin’s scary reputation.

It was also the reason why Jongin never dared to speak to Taemin, between many others. He could sense her menacing eyes on him, all the time; So he never dared approaching Taemin.  However, one day, as he was freshening up in the boys restroom, Taemin got in and froze there, looking scared for a moment. The kid walked to a cubicle and locked himself in while Jongin stood there, observing the closed door and the silence. “I’m sorry.”

He left the place without waiting for an answer and stood only to breathe, by the front door. As he made his way to the bus stop and took his usual bus, he could see Jin Ki and Taemin walking together, hand by hand, while Hye Jin was walking from far behind, absently looking down. It clenched his heart to see how lonely she looked, squeezing the life out of it. As well, Taemin looked sad and restless while his friends worriedly tried to make him talk. Jongin didn’t know what to do with himself and rested his head with a deep sigh. “Can I sit?” The voice was unexpected and he looked up to Hye Jin who sat anyway next to him.

“Isn’t it taking you to the other side of the city?” Jongin contemplated.

“It’s ok. I’ll run to the bus.” Hye Jin said as the bus moved. “Why did you apologize to Taemin, all of sudden?” Jongin paled. “I heard from the restroom’s door, and I wondered why you apologized. Was it for him? Or making haters line up, waiting for me to drop my guards?

“Because my anger is gone and I feel guilty.” Jongin admitted. “I still hate you but he didn’t deserve it. I don’t deserve to be forgiven either.” Hye Jin guessed that Taemin’s kindness was the reason why Jongin felt guilty.  Probably, it was Taemin’s way for revenge.

She sighed deeply before looking at Jongin who kept the eyes on the road. “I am guilty too.” He looked at her, surprised. “When I knew that the van crushed up a kid, I wished I died back then, I wished I looked at the road and diverted the van… I wished so many things but everybody kept telling me that it was fate. They told me I couldn’t change his fate. He was meant to die, either because of me or not but I am still dying in guilt. When I see a car crush, I feel the urge to save those people…” She looked at him, lifeless. “Like I wished I could save that friend of yours.”

He looked away, tearing up. “But you couldn’t.”

She sighed, resting her head back. “But I couldn’t, indeed.” They looked at each other together, before Hye Jin would stand up. “See you tomorrow.” Jongin observed as she stopped and stepped out of the bus to cross the road running, dodging cars swiftly; it was surprising how fast she was and he frowned at that.  

She reached home, an hour after, too tired to do anything and went directly to her bed; Sung Rin worriedly peaked in the bed, and left Hye Jin on her own. When Hye Jin opened, the loneliness she felt was making her shed tears. She wished she was normal. Perhaps, Jin Ki would have liked her if she wasn’t… a robot with a human heart. She sniffed, surprising herself slightly before sobbing freely for few hours.

She knew they heard her. She could hear their sighs from miles, and it pained her how helpless everybody was about her. It felt like… she had no hope left. Perhaps she didn’t have one since the mere beginning. Sad, she forced her system to shut down, in order to sleep.

The next days went dully, Hye Jin barely spoke to anyone, and neither Taemin nor Jongin managed to make her feel alive. She would glare on people, sometimes with noticing that, and keep her deepest glare on Jin Ki who either glare back or ignore her. It pained Taemin to witness that and wished to do something about that but he had things to deal with.

One of those things was: Kim Jongin. The kid was odd. Taemin expected the kid to bully him for a while, to be aggressive. However, the kid would stick by his side if ever other kids tried to surround him.

“Do you want her to come and kick you? Leave the kid alone.” He used to yell and mentionning Hye Jin was enough to dissuade anybody. Jongin wouldn’t stay by Taemin’s side after saying so; he just leaves after making sure Taemin was in a safe distance behind.

It was frustrating and it pissed the usually calm Taemin off. For that, he planned one day to ignore Jongin’s existence and swore to never think of him and his manners. He truly felt like starting that day in the proper way.

“Lee Taemin, Kim Jongin.” Taemin snapped his head up. “Choi Hye Jin, Cha Daehyun. Park Soo Min, Lim Minshik… » as the man kept calling the pairs, Taemin looked back to Hye Jin with uneasy eyes, and for the first time in days, she smiled reassuringly nodding to me. “The couple I called will be partners for the twenty projects I have written in small papers. I’ll let the couple chose who will take the paper.”

Without even asking, Taemin stood to pick the paper. He opened the paper and without really thinking. “Bloody hell!” The teacher and the kids went all shocked, except Hye Jin who had an amused expression, for hearing Taemin’s voice for the first time that loud.

“I don’t remember putting such thing in the papers.” The teacher snapped at the kid who pouted walking back to his seat. Hye Jin stood to pick the papers as well as the others, and each got a subject to work on. Taemin threw the paper in Jongin’s desk so that the kid will read.

“Forgiveness and Love.” Jongin widened his eyes, as tears filled them. He looked toward Taemin who looked away, red, and obviously angry. Hye Jin didn’t read the paper so she didn’t know what to do except from poking Taemin’s back. The kid turned to look at him.

“Do you want us to exchange subjects? The teacher didn’t read what we picked yet.” She whispered in Taemin’s ear while showing him the paper. She had “Darwin’s theory of life” written on it and it was enough to dissuade Taemin, as he shook his head sighing. He didn’t want to screw up his litterature’s marks because of a subject. He looked over Jongin who was still looking at the paper absently.

“Hey.” He called the kid who looked at him for a second before looking down. “Meet me outside the school, we need to talk.” Taemin’s tone made Jongin snap his head up. It was clear that Taemin was displeased, and it made him worried.

Unfortunately, the end of the school day wasn’t that far, and he soon found himself standing alone, waiting for Taemin to show up. “Hey.” He looked up to the five boys and bowed to the eldest before looking at Taemin. “Is it ok if you go home late?”

“No. It’s fine.” Taemin nodded and looked at Jin Ki.

“I’ll meet you later, Hyung. I should plan the project with this kid before heading home.” Taemin said with a smile. “Also, Hye Jin Noona is always around to drop him home.” Jin Ki was about to object but instead he nodded, patting on Taemin’s head.

“Kick him in the ball if he ever dares to hurt you.” Jin Ki said suddenly and left a pale Jongin and a dark Taemin. When the man was enough far, Taemin safely glared on Jongin.

“How many kicks in the balls will pay for the pain you are causing me every day?” Taemin’s question took Jongin off guard. “How many kick in the ball will be enough to make you feel what you did to me? How many?” They faced each other for a second when Jongin shed tears. “Oh god!” Taemin looked away exasperate.

“I was out of my mind.” Jongin said with a petite voice. “I was angry.”

“I am angry now.” Taemin almost yelled. “It is not an excuse.” Jongin looked down to his feet and Taemin looked away to see Hye Jin standing just few feet away. “Anyway, let’s get done with this project.” Hye Jin followed them from afar as they got in a nearby coffee shop. Taemin and Jongin sat next to each other facing Hye Jin. Taemin didn’t say a word for a while, and Jongin took a paper and a pen, putting down what he thought would be a good project plan. When he pushed the paper to Taemin, the kid pushed it to Hye Jin, without reading it.

“What do you think?” Jongin asked her, sadness filling his tone.

“It’s a good plan but, with your not-that-perfect relationship, it won’t come out well. I think it will be good if one of you picks a part and each will correct the opposite part.”  Hye Jin offered. “Jongin will take Love and Taemin will take Forgiveness.”

“What? Why?” Taemin’s face went red again and she held his hands.

“He has someone he loved, and you have someone to forgive.” Hye Jin said with a sad smile. “Each one of you is having a kind of struggle toward the subject so you will give it more objectivity and you will search more about it.” Hye Jin’s logic made Jongin smile a little. Despite the sadness in his eyes, Jongin’s smile seemed geniune as if Hye Jin’s support meant everything for him.

Hye Jin noticed so, despite the fact she didn’t look away from Taemin who looked down to their hands. “Ok, we will go this way.” Taemin mumbled. “I wish only that it won’t screw my grades, or I’ll make him pay.”

“He got it.” Jongin said, lifelessly with a smile. It made Hye Jin free Taemin’s hand and opens her bag to offer Jongin a bracelet. “Here. It’s a special bracelet…”

“I thought I was the only one having it.” Taemin hissed, snatching the bracelet. “Why did he have to get one?”

Hye Jin smiled. “Because I am someone who try to be forgiven for the pain I caused, Taeminnie. I killed someone he loved.” Taemin tensed. “Maybe you forgot how hard it was for me to live with the pain and the guilt.” Jongin looked down. “I am trying to be forgiven.”

Taemin almost threw the bracelet in Jongin’s laps and the kid picked it. “It’s cute.”

“I made it myself.” Hye Jin said smiling. “The same way I did Taemin’s, and Jin Ki’s.”  Hye Jin sighed. “I gave those bracelets to the people I want to ask forgiveness from. A reminder to me that I have to work harder for you in order to forgive me.”

“Noona, it wasn’t your fault.” Taemin whined. “Stop blaming yourself.”

“You got bullied because of me, and he hurt you because I did something wrong.” Jongin sighed, standing. He surprised everybody as he bowed to the table where Hye Jin and Taemin was.

“I beg your forgiveness, please. It’s my fault. It is my entire fault.” Jongin bowed, and respectfully pleaded. “I will do anything to be forgiven, and stop you from blaming yourself for the pain I caused. Please, forgive me.”

Taemin sat there while Hye Jin stood to make Jongin stand up, and he looked red and ashamed as he looked up. She pulled him to a hug. “I’m sorry for not saving your friend.”

“I’m sorry for hurting yours.” Jongin sobbed. “I’m so sorry.” Hye Jin patted on his back, slowly, until the kid’s sobs turned into silent hiccups. They parted and she pulled him to sit beside him. Jongin didn’t dare to look at Taemin who sat silently there.

“I’ll wait for your part tomorrow. The sooner the first draft is corrected and worked on, the sooner we will move to the next one.” Taemin stood to leave and Hye Jin held his hand.

“I’ll drive you home.” Taemin shoved her hand away, neither harshly nor nicely.

“I’ll take a taxi.” He left the coffee shop and Jongin stood to follow Taemin, with Hye Jin in the toes. They stood outside, waiting for a taxi when Siwon parked in front of them.

“Get in.” his tone was serious so Hye Jin pushed the two boys to sit behind and sat by her father’s side. They buckled up and drove to where Hye Jin set the GPS.

“What is it, father?” She asked him, worriedly. “Just tell me, now. I tell them everything anyway.” The man sighed.

“The father and the kids survived but the woman didn’t.” Hye Jin didn’t take time to realize about what he was talking. It was the accident she tried to help in, few weeks before. She didn’t have time to check so she asked her father to do so. She looked away, shocked.

“Is it… about the people you tried to save, Noona?” Hye Jin nodded at Taemin's question. “God…” Jongin looked at them and Taemin looked away. “At least you saved that father, and his sons. You did your best.”

“I know.” She said, lifelessly. Siwon sighed and looked back to Taemin.

“Won’t you introduce me your friends?” Taemin and Jongin looked at each other when the man said so while Hye Jin nodded absently.

“Taemin is the friend I made in my first school, while Jongin is a new friend…” Hye Jin looked at the kid in question. “He’s friend with the student who died in the first accident, hit by the van I stopped.” Siwon looked at Hye Jin in shock. A heavy silence fell and none of them spoke until they dropped Taemin near his house.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Noona.” Hye Jin nodded, silently smiling to her friend as Siwon drove away. Siwon looked at Jongin then Hye Jin, worriedly studying their expressions.

“I’ll take a taxi back home.” Jongin stated suddenly. “I don’t want to burden you with the long ride back.” Siwon parked suddenly and looked at the kid.

“Please, come for a cup of tea.” Siwon kindly offered. “I wish to talk to you, if it doesn’t bother you.” Hye Jin looked at her father, surprised and as Jongin nodded, she looked away. Siwon drove them home and Jongin gaped at how huge it is.

“Wow.” He followed the amused Hye Jin to the living room while Siwon called for Sung Rin. The woman soon took Hye Jin away and soon Jongin found himself awkwardly looking to the man.

“Please follow me.” Jongin followed the man, dying almost in every step. He was nervous as hell to deal with an adult. They got in a big office and Siwon offered him a seat; Jongin sat shyly looking at his hands. “I want to start by apologizing sincerely for your loss.” Jongin nodded, still looking down. “And I want you… no, I beg you to forgive my daughter.” Jongin looked up. “She suffered in silence from guilt, until we lost hope. Aside from her group of friends from her first school, nobody managed to make her smile, even if it was a fake forced one.” Siwon admitted. “Also, I didn’t know she was applying for your school. I wouldn’t allow her and you to be in the same school, considering the pain she makes you feel.”

“I feel nothing.” Jongin spoke suddenly. “I’ve became numb since he died. He was more than close to me.” Jongin’s eyes were suddenly filled with tears. “He was my life, my happiness, and everything I looked up to.”  Siwon patted on his hip, comforting him. “I forgave her, anyway. I’ve lived in anger for long nights, and it was a nightmare. If forgiving her would ease my pain, I’ve already done it.”

“But it still hurts, isn’t it?” A woman’s voice spoke and Jongin looked up to see Hye Jin’s mother getting in. “I’ve been there; I lost my brother when I was ten.” The woman sat next to her husband. “He died because of a disease, so it was a slow death that affected me.”

“We all felt the way you did, son. It hurts, and for a long time, but we all have to move on.” Siwon kindly spoke. “Life goes on so we can’t stay in the same spot for too long.” Jongin nodded, agreeing while tears flew down. The painful part was that Kim Jun Myun was his first love, his first crush, his first friend, his first supporter, his first kiss, and his first embraces. They were so young and yet Jun Myun was wise enough to push Jongin’s hormonal self from experiencing deeper than delicate embraces and soft kisses. It made Jongin love his hyung even more with time and that exact day was Jun Myun and Jongin’s 100^th day as a couple, and their fifth friendship anniversary. Coincidence or not, Jongin never cared. All he cared for is that he lived three months in pure and deep loneliness. He noticed that the couple left him while Hye Jin got in, with food.

“They didn’t put the table yet.” She said, politely offering Jongin a cup of Jus. “I never dared to ask… but who was the kid?”

“Kim Jun Myun.” Jongin dryly answered. “He was the head of the chorus team in our school. He had a voice of an angel… Damn, he was an angel.” Jongin’s fresh tears fell. “It’s not even surprising for me that he died so soon, an Angel is meant to go to where he belongs. You know, we argued because I wanted us to make love; I was eager and careless, but that day was our 100^th day and I asked him to come to school sooner because I had a surprise.” Hye Jin’s heart stopped literally, she froze as she assimilated the information.

“He was your boyfriend?” Hye Jin hissed paling.

Jongin shook his head, sobbing suddenly. “He was everything. Everything for me. I don’t know how I survived those three months.” Hye Jin pulled him in a tight hug. “I am so hurt that I feel numbness submerging me, I don’t know what to do with myself. I want to stop the images from when they told me that Myunnie Hyung had an accident but I still can't; I ran so fast, hoping he was fine but then when I saw his body. I fainted in the road, in front of everybody. I collapsed like my world did.” Hye Jin didn’t know what to do, and pulled the kid even closer while he kept talking through his sobs. “I bought a necklace with all my savings, just to show him how much I loved him and that I was sorry for being a lustful bastard. I wanted him to be as happy as I was with him. God! I can’t handle it. It hurts, and so much.” All she managed to say was a faint sorry and she closed her eyes, letting him cry in her arms until he slept.

She took him in bridal style, putting him in the car that she drove. She managed to drive without being caught, since she didn’t have a license. The neighborhood where Jongin lived was everything but friendly. It worried her but she could do nothing. She picked her bag, which never leave her side, and wore a hoddie before picking Jongin who stirred awake. She still walked him home, in the darkness of the stresses. “Is it your place?” Jongin nodded and tiredly tried to stand up. Hye Jin helped him to reach for the door, and he opened it. “You live alone?”

“I used to live with Jun Myun and his grandpa who owned the house, but the old man is rarely around.” Jongin tried answered. “He allowed me to stay… because he knew how much I loved Hyung and how much I needed to stay.”

“But you are living alone.” Hye Jin pointed out, her face turning into a painful mask. “I see what you meant by everything.”

Jongin absently nodded as he faced her in the door frame. “He was my life for five years ” Hye Jin looked away, uneasy. “Do you want to come in?”

“I can’t dare to.” She admitted. “I feel like… I need to pay him my regards, first.” Jongin gave her a shocked look. “Can we… go and see him someday? Maybe this weekend.” Jongin nodded, offering a sincere smile.

“He will be happy to see you.” Those words were enough to make Hye Jin feel like she’s over the edge. Sincere tears fell from her eyes, much to Jongin’s astonishment because it was a truth that Hye Jin never cried in public before. He dried the burning hot tears, when she held his hands and kissed them.

“Go to bed, Jongin.” She offered as she stepped back. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” Jongin didn’t know what to say so he observed her stepping away before freezing. “You are not alone, Kim Jongin. As long as I live, I won’t let you be alone.” She looked at him, sad and broken. “I may not be Kim Jun Myun, but I’ll make sure you will find the way to move on and fall in love again.”

Jongin was about to object but he smiled. “I just want Taemin Hyung to forgive me.” The request was unexpected somehow, but she nodded at it. If he needed only Taemin’s forgiveness, then he will get it. She promised herself that