Jonghyun Shinee

I am still in shock. 

I am shaken to the core. 

I couldn't believe it. 

Is it really true? 

You're gone? 

You had left us? 

Why?

Why?! 

Why!! 

I could only asked,

Again and again. 

Why?! 

No one would understand, right? 

No one could understand, right? 

You were so wrong! 

Someone like me would. 

But still. 

I am not in your shoes. 

I am not you. 

People don't understand depression. 

They don't know deep sadness and pain. 

It's a dark overwhelming thing.

Eating you alive. 

Taking every breath. 

Taking every will power. 

Taking and taking. 

Until there is a big void.

Taking over.

Leaving pain.

Leaving sadness. 

Leaving hurt.

Leaving anger.

Leaving emptiness.

Living in the now, 

For tomorrow is too far away.

This is the now, 

This pain.

This void. 

And the darkness is beckoning.

It promise to end the void. 

It promise to end the pain. 

It would be easier to give up, 

Let it all go, 

Let the pain end, 

And run away towards the darkness.

As if, 

There is no pain in the darkness.

As if, 

There is no more hurt in that abyss.

Jonghyun Depression

The pain was real. 

A living thing inside you.

A shadow that lurked around you. 

A constant unwanted companion.

Jonghyun

What did they do to you? 

What did they make you do? 

Did they sold you? 

Did they made you a doll? 

Writer's note: Composed on Dec. 11, 2017  because of the passing of Jonghyun. It hurts. I don't want to think, I think too much.