First Born
Poems(Random, Different Kind)First Born
I am not over you, how I miss you.
Not a day goes by that I don't miss you.
I am to raw with my emotion.
Some days I feel as if I am about to explode.
It had only been days and not even a month.
Many were saying that I will have a next child.
I am not thinking of my next child.
I am only thinking of you.
Many were saying you're in a better place.
I am only thinking that my arms were the best place for you.
Many were saying that it was not meant to be.
I am only thinking how they don't understand me.
Many were saying that we now have an angel looking after us.
I am only thinking I am in pain, and that's all I know.
I am hurting, and I can't seem to find the relief.
There is no painkiller that anyone could give me.
You had not been with me for long, and yet I am broken.
I can't look at your clothes and things just yet.
I don't know what I should do with it, keep it or give it away.
I am not ready just yet.
You will always be my first born, my first child.
I will tell your future siblings about you.
You will always be their big brother.
Writer's note: Composed for my cousin on Sept. 29, 2017. I kept thinking about my little nephew and my cousin.
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