When i arrived at the airport today, there were these boydguard men things holding up my name. They led me to this fancy car and brought me to my client. Ooooh, fancy. 

 

My excitement died when I reached my destination though. I looked up at the familiar building. 

 

I panicked. "Excuse me, i think you've got the wrong person. My name is Kim Doyoon not Jang Doyoon. Okay, i'm going to go now-" 

 

I got grabbed back to the building by the two blocks of rectangles you call people. 

 

"You're wearing your lanyard with your ID, sir" One of them told me.

 

Damn. 

 

 

 

 

I stared at the door. Inhaled in the stick. I closed my eyes and relaxed instantly. This was why i couldn't stop. This was my only relief. 

 

"NOOOOOO MY NAME IS KIM, KIM. KIM DOYOON I'M-"

 

My eyes shot open. Standing in front of me was my long lost… accquiantance (?)  

 

"Ehem. Um. Hi. I mean, Hello. My name is Jang Doyoon and I am here to help you with… um, I am your therapist." He stood at the doorway awkwardly.

 

"Go away." I took another swig. 

 

"Put that down. That's bad." 

 

"This is bad, that is bad. I've heard it all so instead of wasting your time on this wrecked soul i suggest you go to someone else." I coughed. 

 

"No i am here to help you get less wrecked so-"

 

"Are you going to leave me without a word again?" I stared right into his eyes.

 

"Seungcheol?" 

 

"Annyeong, Chingu." 

 

 

 

 

Seungcheol has changed… He needs help.

 

 

------ 

 

"Annyeong, Chingu." 

 

I froze. He looked so pale and his eyes were all red and tired and i don't know. 

 

"Hello, it's been quite a while. I suggest we start your counselling now?"

 

I continued, "How have you been?" 

 

"I've been . YOU. You wanted to become a singer, right?" I nodded. 

 

"YOU. You left me alone here. Without a word, just left. Why?" 

 

It was because did not have time to tell him but instead i said, "I'm sorry, things cropped up."

 

"WHY. WHY. WHY. DO YOU KNOW WHAT I'VE BEEN THROUGH? IT WOULDVE BEEN DIFFERENT IF YOU STAYED. I WOULD'VE HAD SOMEONE. YOU… You abandoned me." And then he started sobbing.

 

"I wanted to stay, Cheol. I did." I whispered. 

 

"You didn't. Now please, leave."

 

"… I'm sorry. But if you remember all the memories we had? And i also gave you these cool, expensive, fancy sneakers to show my support?" 

 

"OH IS THAT WHAT YOU CAME HERE FOR? For the money, huh." He went out of control, banging into objects that were in his way to get to this chest on his table. He took out a handful of money. He threw it. 

 

"Take it and LEAVE. Please." He started sobbing again.

 

It was silent for a while.

 

"Would you like to tell me what's been going on? So that i could help?" I approached him and patted his back comfortingly.

 

He was crying quietly. He obviously wasn't in control over his body anymore. I waited patiently. After a while, he spoke up. 

 

"It's just fame. It controls you. Make a little mistake and you're on the news. Gain a little weight, you're being critisiced. I don't even have a life anymore. I've to drag my sick body up to the stage to please fans and the wallet of my CEO. It's hard… " 

 

"I couldn't understand what you're feeling but I can help make it better. I won't leave this time. Promise me you won't too?" 

 

He looked up, wiped away his tears and gave a slight nod. 

 

----------

 

"Okay, let's start our session." I said cheerfully hoping some of my happiness would spread to him.

 

He looked at me.

 

"Let's start!" I repeated in case he'd somehow gone deaf.

 

He blinked.

 

Then it dawned to me that he was a new patient. Not one of my regulars. "Ooops. I'm sorry. I meant to say, is there a place you like to go? A place where you feel relaxed or happy?" 

 

"You aren't gonna ask me dumb questions like the other therapists i had?" He looked shocked. 

 

"Nope. I'm different." 

 

"That's good." He looked at me. I remembered that line. 

 

"There is a place I'd like to visit."

 

"Great."

 

"Okay… Wait here. I'll get something." I was glad that he was opening up to me this quickly. 

 

He emerged from his room with a box labelled 'for dad' and tobacco. I knew at once where we were going. 

 

"This, you can bring" I pointed towards the box. "This has to go." I took the tobacco and left it on his table. "You have to stop." 

 

He reached for the tobacco and kept it in his pocket. "No," He said and left the house. 

 

 

 

 

"What's that you have there?" Doyoon asked, gesturing towards the box in my hands. We were on the bus travelling towards the cemetary. 

 

"Something that's way overdued." I replied, then i turned towards the window on my right admiring the view that once inspiried me to become what i'm not today. 

 

A few more stops, dad. Just wait. 

 

--------- 

 

Doyoon attempted small talk which i replied with one word. 

 

"How is Mrs Choi?"

 

"Good"

 

"What about your dad?"

 

"Dead" 

 

---------

 

Finally, we stood infront of my father's grave. Doyoon turned to me, nodding. Okay. 

 

I approached his grave, "Hi dad. How have you been? Me? I've been bad." 

 

"Go on," Doyoon willed me to continue my conversation with the deceased. Okay.

 

I opened the box and placed the worn out sneakers beside my dad, "These are a little overdued. I'm sorry. But look, I've achieved my dream and i've taken care of Mum. I'm Sorry. Take care, dad. I love you." 

 

I turned to Doyoon. "I'm done." 

 

"That's all?" He popped something into his mouth. I nodded. He tilted his head to the side. Let's go. 

 

---------

 

"What was that about?" Doyoon asked, adjusting his beanie.

 

"What? Oh. Oh. That… When i was a trainee, i brought my dad all my worn out sneakers to show him that i'm working hard. I promised to do that until i debuted. But i stopped in between. I gave them all today though.  Those are the sneakers you gave me, by the way…" I smiled, a sad smile. 

 

Silence

 

"OKAY! How about we go to back to your dorm and play some video games?" He suggested.

 

"I guess we could do that." 

 

----------

 

We spent the whole afternoon battling each other in some space adventure thing. 

 

It's been long since i had company.