Chapter 1: Meeting You

Cold air wafted through my face as I stepped out of the airport’s gate. Looking around, I see unfamiliar faces of slight eyed fair-skinned people, waving happily. Not at me, of course, but at their relatives, loved ones, friends who came from L.A. Right. I’m in a foreign land, far away from the humid City of Angels known as L.A.

As I was grabbing my luggage from the carousel, Jackie’s farewell suddenly popped into my head.

‘Amber,’ my older sister said, ‘I know singing and dancing is your passion but Korea is a far, far place to chase your dreams. I hope you made the right decision.’

Jackie hugged me tightly and whispered in my ear so that my parents won’t hear, ‘Take care, li’l sis. Always follow your heart and be yourself.’

Before releasing me, she put a small box in the back pocket of my jeans, ‘Open this when you find yourself at loss for the right thing to say or do. Goodbye, Amber.’

The box my sister gave me sat safely at the bottom of my backpack. During the long flight to Korea, I had the sudden urge to just open it and kill the nagging curiosity in my head. Good thing I resisted the urge. Instead, I got my notebook and pen and wrote a song. Words flowed straight into my mind the second the pen touched paper. Unsaid words of bitter farewell flooded the white paper even before I could control them. Just a little bit of music and these flat words will come to life, I thought. So I hummed a couple of tunes and wrote the notes. I was surprised to see that I finished an entire song. Well not completely finished, it was more of a draft rather than a complete composition. But still, an almost finished song in just, what, 2 hours? This is new.

Sometimes it’ll take months before I could finish a composition, but this one, this one was special. It says everything I was feeling at that moment. I miss my sister, I miss my mom and dad, I miss my friends, I miss her – I miss the times we had together. How she taught me to play the piano, to put harmonies into my compositions, to put my heart in everything I do.

Nicole was my best friend and my first love. I always looked back to our first encounters. The first time she held my hand; the first time she hugged me; the first time she kissed me; and the first time she told me she liked me. I was smitten, overwhelmed beyond belief. How can she like even like me? I was nothing special, just a weird tomboy who loves music. I don’t even find myself attractive in any way; but she apparently saw something in me worth liking.

It took three months before I mustered up the courage to tell her I liked her too. I remember the way she playfully punched my shoulders and said, ‘Took you long enough’, and hugged me. I was frozen for a second or two before hugging her back.

We started dating since then, secretly of course. If I ever told my parents I have a girlfriend, they’d kick me out of the house. It was hard enough for them to accept my being a lesbian, what more if I said that I’m having a homoual relationship with my best friend. Nope. Never gonna tell them that.

I was back to present by a loud voice calling my name.

‘AMBER JOSEHINE LIU! AMBER!!’ shouted a middle aged man holding a sign saying, SM ENTERTAINMENT WELCOMES AMBER JOSEPHINE LIU!

Oh . This is so embarrassing. I’ve never been welcomed in such a flourish in an airport before. UGH. This . I slowly drag myself (and my luggage) to the man enthusiastically waving at me. I wonder if they welcome all their new trainees this way. Oh well, better hurry and sort things out.

When I came to a stop in front of the man, he suddenly yanked my cap off and took hold of my chin, moving it side to side, inspecting my face. When he seemed to be satisfied with his inspection, he put back the cap and ushered me to a white van. When I was all settled inside the vehicle, he turned to me from the front seat and said, ‘Amber, welcome to Korea! I hope you’d easily find this country your second home. And good luck to you, trainee!’

His English was heavily accented and it took me longer than usual to understand what he had just said.

‘Thank you, Mr ummmm…’ I replied. I didn’t know his name. Why did I not ask him earlier? Oh right, because I was too shy to do that.

‘Just call me Manager Kim,’ he said. ‘By the way, he have a short detour before going to your dorm, is that okay with you?’

‘Manager Kim,’ I said, testing the sound of his name. ‘Yes, it’s fine, where are going?’

‘We are going to fetch one of your co-trainees, I hope you don’t mind.’

‘Oh, no, I don’t mind at all.’

With that, Manager Kim sat back in his chair and I awkwardly fidgeted in my seat, unsure of how to greet the trainee who we will be fetching. I was practicing my hellos in my head when the van suddenly stopped and the car doors opened. I looked to my right, and saw the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen in my life. It was like a doe’s, innocent and calm, brown, with flecks of gold in it. I stared, mesmerized by that striking feature.

‘Amber,’ my manager said, interrupting my train of thought, ‘this is Jung Soojung, your co-trainee and bandmate.’

‘Hello, Amber! Just call me Krystal. It’s nice to meet you,’ Krystal said enthusiastically as she extended her right hand for me to shake.

The moment my skin touched hers, something sparked within me. An emotion flared. My heart started pounding.

Oh God, I’m doomed, was all I thought at that moment.