Chapter 8

Yesung told Ryeowook everything from the beginning. He told his friend how his life was before the accident, a normal life truth be told.

His parents owned a cafe where he and his little brother occasionally helped working. Yesung couldn't say it was an amazing life, but he was pretty satisfied like this. He didn't need anything particular so he didn't have much to complain about.

Well, not until three years ago, when he was 14: at school there was a boy, Jaehgun, who liked to tease Yesung in every possible ways.

Jongwoon, it was Yesung's real name, always ignored Jaehyun because he didn't want to have problems; so he kept avoiding the boy and if they unlucky met somewhere, he simply let all the mocking slide away.

He's done so for six month, 180 and more day forcing himself to not burst out in anger, but then it became really to much annoying, so much that he begun to just answer back.

Jaehyun and his little gang by then started to demand money from Jongwoon, even though he knew is victim didn't go around with money because, well, he wanted to save it for his dream.

Every day, the moment Jongwoon would be alone walking home, Jaehyun and his friend would circle him and expect him to give them all the money he had.

But he really didn't have any money with him...and he didn't want to have it just to satisfy those annoying brats.

Anyway it wasn't something he couldn't handle by himself: after all they didn't hurt him physically...beside some shoves.

Unlucky, one day this daily routine come to an end. Jongwoon would have preferred it didn't though; he would have preferred being bullied every single day instead of having witnessed a boy's death. Jaehyun's death.

Everyone, besides Jaehyun's companion, who saw the accident said it was not Jongwoon's fault, they said he only shrugged off the boy who was evidently bullying him. But Jongwoon felt it was his fault, deep inside of him he could hear a voice calling him and accusing him.

“Jongwoon...Jongwoon you killed me. You should have given him what he wanted. You should have let him take advantage of you...you pushed him towards that car. Your little hands brought him to death. Jongwoon it's your fault. Jongwoon...Jongwoon”

He didn't want to kill the boy, really. He wanted only to be left in peace so pried off him Jaehyuun's hands lightly; then the boy, maybe stunned by Jongwoon sudden action, took a few steps back, tripped over his own feet and fell on the ground.

Thanks to the many passerby who witnessed the accident Jongwoon didn't had to go to jail, well minors' jail, because everyone said him pushed Jaehyun bat the boy then kept stepping on his own.

Jongwoon, though, didn't forgive himself, he still thinks he's the cause of the boy's death. He accepted the reality, the fact the it's not all his fault, but deep inside of him he could hear that voice; he couldn't recognize it, it wasn't relater to no one he knew yet it was so familiar. It maybe because he's been hearing it for years after the accident, he didn't really know, but the worst thing was that it kept reminding him of Jaehyun and accusing him for his premature death.

Jongwoon tried to forget everything or at least move it to a little part of his mind. And actually after two years feeling in hell he managed to overcome this problem. He started again to make friends, to smile, to not think to much about his past; he understood it's not possible to forget something like what happened to him but he wasn't even good to make it an obsession. It happened a terrible accident, yes, though he couldn't let this affect his whole future life.

Yesung at last told Ryeowook that, as he already knew, didn't like to be called his real name. What Wookie didn't knew was why.

“You know, when you kept hearing a voice calling you and telling you it's your fault that someone died, you start hating it” Yesung said smiling bitterly.

“Yes, I think I can understand this. But you kind of overcome the trauma, let's say like this. If you're ok now why can't you stand being called by your name? It's this I can't get.” Ryeowook asked. He's been curious since he met Yesung and now he was having the answer to his question.

“Because it would be like coming back to the past from which I'm trying to not come back. I don't know if you can understand me, I'm not good at explaining.” He said leaning on the back of the sofa sighing. “It was good talking with someone, though.”

Ryeowook smiled. It was also good for him to know his friend trusted him enough to tell him everything. “I don't know what to say beside that you should continue like this and not thinking about who accuse you even after all this years passed.” Ryeowook said and since the other said nothing went on talking. “Ok then, I'll continue calling you with your nickname, it's not a problem for me. And if you fell the need to talk with someone about anything you know you can come to me, I will be here for you so don't even esitate.”

“Thank you” Yesung said “but I'll come to you even when I don't want to talk” he added chuckling.

“You can do it whenever you want, just pay attention to Kyuhyun: he might kill you because you keep stealing his bestfriend.”

“Tsk, that little evil maknae...I'll have Min distract him. I think he like him.” Yesung burst in a evil anger laughter. He noticed that ever since the annoying kid met Sungmin, Kyuhyun was less attached to his bestfriend, as if he diverted all his attention from videogames and Wookie to videogames, Wookie and Sungmin.

“Oh you noticed it too? I tough it was impossible for Kyuhyun. I mean, at school he always ignored whoever come and confessed to him saying he wasn't interested in love” he humbled.

Maybe his friend grow up on that point of view. Yet he never thought Kym would like men. Like him.

“You seem upset. Do you think it's bad being gay?” Yesung asked.

“Good, this way I'll know if I have some chance. I think I've liked Wookie since the first day but I fully realized it a few days ago” he though, hoping for a good answer.

“Uh...well...”

After soooo long...here chapter 8!! It was not entirely my fault though. I wrote it a week ago but my lovely friend wasn't able to type it 'till now. But let's not blame her, it's not her fault

Now I'm going to reply your comment :)

smileyfaced_demon72: What do you mean with better word choice? I'd like to improve, I'm not a good writer, so if you can explain it would be great :D I like comments like yours. I'm happy you liked the chapter anyway.

LoveSungmin: I'm glad I make you laugh :> I always think I'm fail writing funny scenes xD

KyeMinLover123: I like Sungmin tooxD He's confident yet cute. About the Kyumin moments.. they keep my mind stoling Yewook's space e.e xD

ancho10rthm: What do you think? Will Wookie be able to help Yesung? I already know * teasing *

parkrira: I guess I didn't explain it well. Even though Jonwoon is his real name, Yesung doesn't like being called by it because of that voice inside him that kept haunting him for a long time calling repeatedly his name saying it was his fault, he caused Jeahyun's death. So trying to forget, Yesung decided to give himself a nickname and asked everyone to call him by that.

AninataNSK: Glad you like him :D

dscythe1157: I try update regularly but it seem that this word is too difficult for my little brain to understand :/

bellaisya: I'm happy you like my story :3 Who could not care about Jongwoon? He's too sweet, funny, caring * insert all adjectives you know * to ignore him. Yes, I'm biased, bare with me please xD

luvewookie: I'm really gladd you like my story *-* I'm sorry for making you wait and check every day for an update * pouts *

Ok for those who don't know, I'm writing another fic. If you want can read it here: www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/82639/and-i-was-thinking-this-wouldn-t-change-anything-kyumin-romance-ryeosung--superjunior-yesungxryeowook

I would be really grateful if you try reading it and tell me wht do you think *w*  I'm already writing the following chapter so it should take long for another update :)