It was somewhat peaceful, like you're in a deep sleep, floating like there's no gravity, all your limbs felt light, all your tiredness and your sore body were nowhere to be felt. All was still and silent. But slowly, you start hearing sounds again, sounds that bother your peaceful slumber. The sounds were pulling your consciousness, and you soon felt the weight of your body back on you. Then you remember what happened before you passed out. You can feel the pounding in your head has subsided even though you can still hear the blades of a helicopter against your ears, and something else. A faint constant beep of a machine between all those fusses. You force your eyelids open.

At first, everything was but a gray blur and your eyes fight to find its focus. You then find yourself lying down, the celling about a meter and half from your head. Something else is above your head. Equipment; medical equipment and other SAR equipment. You recognize a folded rubber boat, a few ropes, and much other stuff over your head. You take a look around your surroundings. Inside the helicopter were about 2.5m wide and 5m long. You were rested on one side of the helicopter as you can only see a metal wall to your left. You can see many more rescue and medical equipment all around you. Most of the medical equipment you do recognize. There are oxygen masks, first aid kit, infusion kit, AED kit, hypothermia blankets, and many medical bags, who know what else is in there.

"오! 그녀가 돌아왔다 (she’s back)!'" You heard a familiar voice, Chanyeol's voice. He was sitting beside you, on the other side of the helicopter, and a man was beside him, doing something to Chanyeol's right arm. But at that moment, all you can see is his smiling face. Happier than ever, stronger than ever.

How happy you are, seeing him smiling like a little kid again.

Then you notice that his right hand is holding yours, gently rubbing circles with his thumb and applying a little pressure.

"C-Chan..." you tried sitting up, but something gently held you back, making you lay back down.

"Please stay rested, miss," the man treating Chanyeol paused his work on him to hold you back.

"안뒈, 다시 누워(lay back)," Chanyeol said at the same time, his expression worried.

You compile with their request and turn your head to look at the man taking care of both of you. He must've been another member of the rescue team, so you nodded to him, a sign that you understand. There was also another man on board, the one that went down first to get both of you, and he was checking on yours and Chanyeol's vital signs every now and then, your pulse, heart rate, blood pressure, respiratory rate, and temperature.

Then, you realize the beeping sound were your own heartbeat, projected in a monitor over your head that were showing your heart rate and blood pressure.

"This must've because I passed out... Didn't think that I would be the one receiving this treatment instead of that Giant," you think to yourself.

Your other hand went to reach the wound on your head, only to found that your head has been bandaged, meaning that your wound has been treated. You turn again to look at Chanyeol. You figure that the wound on his left arm is being treated, and seeing that he was smiling all along, he must've received some anesthesia.

"(Y/N)-씨, 무엇을보고 있습니까?" Chanyeol teased you with formal language as his hand shook yours, snapping you back to reality, that he was looking at you and grinning back at you all the time you were examining him.

"Nothing!" you smiled back. But then the beeping went a little faster. Chanyeol chuckled at the beeping sound, knowing that he has just raised your heart rate.

"Ya! Don't laugh, giant!" You defend yourself and took deep breaths, trying to slow down the beeping.

“야, 왜 이래(ya, why are you being like this)?” Chanyeol half laughed, but you can see that his own face is slightly turning pink. You can only imagine whose beeping is faster if he was also wired to the monitor right now. Perhaps it would be his.

***

A few minutes of awkward silence later, you felt all better and you slowly tried getting up again. When the rescue guy tried stopping you again, you said you're okay and he then help you slowly sit straight. Chanyeol still held your hand, saying things like slowly and be careful.

Seeing that you got better, the SAR officer start asking you questions, mostly about how you kept both of you alive. He can only ask you on the details as you’re fluent in English and Chanyeol’s English wasn’t as good. They did ask him a few questions that he managed to answer, like how you got your water and food. They still ask you for more detailed information though, for they need to assess your overall condition based on how you kept yourselves alive. So you told them, how much water you had each day, how you kept away from dehydration, how you kept your blood sugar enough for everyday activities, your theory on how your headaches relate to the blow on your head.

As you told them your story, Chanyeol went to sit beside you on the bed, his hand never leaving yours. When you start talking about Chanyeol’s infection progression, you remembered about his fever and instantly you pressed the back of your hand on his forehead, finding that his fever went somewhat down, but he still felt a bit warm. You sighed in relief and continue your story.

By the time your story is finished, you can already see vast land from the window. You’re going to land soon. Only then it got you thinking. You’re finally going home. You’re going to meet your parents and your sister again. You’re going to get back your life as you had wished over and over again during the 60 hours you were lost.

But all happiness comes with a struggle. A hello comes with a goodbye. You coming back home was all at one cost.

Chanyeol.

He would also get back to his life as an idol. He would be swarmed again with his fans. He would be back to his group members. He would never be at your side again, never to hold you again, so far as seeing you again. He would never get a chance to contact you ever again.

As soon as the helicopter landed, who knows who much time was left for both of you to stay together? Perhaps you would be separated straight away. Perhaps he could stay with you until his flight back to Korea. What if reporters are already down there? What should you do? Should you act like you’re not close? Should you just go your separate ways? Or would he still hold your hand like how he holds you now? Would he push you away? Would he…?

Endless question ran through your head. Chanyeol seemed to notice that instead of being happy to land soon, you seemed rather sad and afraid.

“토끼야 (tokki-ya)…” Chanyeol called out to you, his palm against your cheek, his thumb wiping the tear that you shed unknowingly.

You quickly wipe your eyes and forced a smile, “we’re gonna get back home, huh, Giant?”

“Don’t cry, bunny…”

“Thank you for everything, Giant,” you wanted to tell him how much you like being around him, how much you love seeing him smile, how much you love his laugh, how your heart raced just thinking about what you and him can be if he wasn’t such a big idol. You wanted to tell him how you felt. But in the end, all you can say is just ‘thank you’ and nothing more.

Chanyeol saw something in your eyes and he wraps his arms around your shoulders.  He struggled with himself too for he knew the moment he realize the SAR helicopter descent to the island you’re in, he has to let go of you. He has to let go of everything that has happened between the two of you.

“우리는 다시 만날 것 (we will meet again),” you hear him said, but from the tone, you knew the words were not to comfort you; it’s as if he is trying to convince himself about what he said.

The helicopter is slowly descending to the helipad on the airport and the crew inside were busy preparing for landing. But there, between all those hectic noises, between the rushes of people, between the gushing wind, were the two of you, saving what might be the last moments you two can have. There, without speaking, you both understand that the feeling that you start to feel were mutual, has to be forgotten, for you didn’t belong in his world, and he didn’t belong in yours.

-------------------

Both of you were admitted to a local hospital immediately to do a more thorough check up. You were separated from Chanyeol without any chance to say goodbye.

Due to your head trauma and headache, they insisted you to do an MRI on your head. The result was not surprising to you. There was a minor bleeding inside your head, but the bleeding stopped long ago and left you with a hematoma on the location of the trauma, which also causes you the headaches. After a thorough analysis, the doctors team thought that you don't need any surgery and could recover with a couple of medicines, though you need to identify the symptoms if your condition worsen.

You were then admitted to spend the night at the hospital and after confirming your identity, they gave you a chance to contact the people you wanted to contact with the assistance of an officer.

You were still controlling your breath after the tearful phone call with your parents when you heard a soft knock on the door.

“Come in,” you said between your hiccupped breath, expecting the hospital staff to come in and check up on you.

Opening the door slowly, Chanyeol peeked in and his eyes instantly lit up upon seeing you sitting up on the patient bed. He has been looking for you around the hospital all this time. It has only been a few hours since you two were separated, but you have already missed his smile. His smile, his magical smile, had instantly filled you with peace and gladness.

“Hey, bunny,"

“Hey, giant,” you exchange greetings with him.

He stepped in and sat at the edge of the bed, near your feet.

"모리가(your head), 궨찮아(is it okay)?" he pointed at your head.

"Yeah, I'm fine I guess. What about your arms?"

"I'm okay too," he answered, lifting his left arm a little bit higher than the last time he was able to. You could see that he had received stitches on the open wound and nodded, relieved that he finally had got some proper treatment.

"Fever?" you asked again, putting your palm on your forehead.

"사라!" He smiled, waving his hands like he's saying goodbye to his fever.

---

"Called your parents?" you asked, breaking the depressing silence between the two of you inside your small hospital room.

"네 (yes)," he simply nodded again, looking at the window, lost in his own thought.

"They said I could leave tomorrow and go back home," you follow his eyes to the window, unsure to feel happy or sad.

"네, me too, tomorrow..." he trailed off.

"What time are you leaving?"

"오후 8시"

"8pm?"

"응... 너(you)?"

"My parents would arrive here in the morning. They said our flight back would be leaving at 7pm," you hung your head. Then, both of you stayed silent again.

"밥먹었어? Eat?"

"Yeah, it felt funny after eating fruits for days, huh?"

Chanyeol smiled and nodded.

There was another long silence. It was as if you're both back to the time when you just met, when both of you were strangers, not knowing what to say or what to do. It's really weird for you because both of you had talked like you've known each other for years, but now you're both silent. Your aching heart still wished for him to stay in your life, but your smart brain told you that it's better for you to stay away. Who knows what his fans might do to you.

"토끼아," Chanyeol called, making you turn your head to him.

He had his hands stretched to you; on his hands were your notebook. The book that has scribbles all over it; both yours and his. The book that contains memories, so much of them; memories that were so precious, memories that you will never forget, memories that you would never trade for anything in the world.

You took it from his hands and starts turning its pages. He sat himself beside you, leaning on the wall and invited you to lean beside him. Without thinking, you rested your head on his shoulders as he wraps his arms around you. It was like you've been doing this since long ago, like you both belong there.

Your fingers stopped turning at the scribbles of the first night you're both together. The stargazing, the constellation guess.

"Chanyeol, remember this one?” you pointed at a drawing. “You said the stars looked like your company's building!"

"당연히(of course)!!" he clapped, making both of you laugh.

Pages after pages went like that; laughs after laughs, tease after tease, smile after smile, reminiscing the memories that only belong to the two of you. Pushing away sad thoughts, not wanting to ruin this moment with tears of goodbye, you both just chat and chat. The writings you did when you had time, the scribbles of his EXO members, your family, to the silly things you drew to understand each other.

To the last few pages belong to him, his scribbles of chords, lyrics, melodies. You tried playing the unmade song in your head and knew at that moment, the song is going to be good. It’s simple, yet very ear-catching. If only he had the right tools to record this….

You then tore the pages off of your book. Chanyeol were so surprised because he knew how precious this book was to you, but when you handed him the paper, he understands. Beside so he can record it back at Korea, this might be his only key to connect back to you later, whenever it would allow him. Right there at that very second, he made a promise to himself that he would perfect this song and present it to you.

On you go to the last page, where he had wrote his own version of your survival, the two full pages of Korean writings.

“Read…” he pointed at his writings. “for you,” he continued.

“I will,” you smiled to yourself, accepting the challenge on reading that long handwritten hangul.

“(Y/N)…” Chanyeol almost whispered in our ears as you examine his writings.

“Hm?”

"사라지지 않아(sarajiji anha)" Chanyeol muttered as he bury his head on the crook of your neck, both of his arms suddenly hugging you tight. Not understanding his words, you just hug his hand back and rest your head against his, enjoying his company.

Don’t disappear.