Even though he was happy, Ricky couldn't help but question how everything had turned out like this ... Teen Top was truly a mess right now. Everybody was having their heartbroken and everybody was being upset with everybody else ... His eyes began to glaze, it all started because of Changjo and L.Joe, didn't it ? If those two hadn't of dated and broken up, Teen Top would still be happy and Ricky and Chunji could still be together ... But in the end, was it really Changjo and L.Joe's fault ? Or was it someone else's ? Who was to blame for this mess ? Was there anyone to blame ... ? Ricky's mind traveled back to his hyung, L.Joe and then, his thoughts when the boy beside him. If L.Joe hadn't cheated, Changjo would still be happy with him and if Chunji hadn't gone and "confessed" he was sure that Changjo would take L.Joe back. It was always easy to blame someone other than yourself, wasn't it ? It couldn't be his fault he hadn't done anything or was that problem ? If Ricky had meddled, if he had stopped L.Joe from cheating, maybe things would be different then they were now.
So, was it his fault ? Had he caused all of this, because he had been to busy with Chunji, instead of paying attention to everyone else ? Maybe he could have seen it coming, maybe he could have stopped it. Suddenly, Ricky got hit with a wave of guilt. Could he have really stopped this mess ? Was it really his fault for not doing anything ? Ricky held Chunji's hand tighter ... It really was his fault that Chunji was not his anymore, wasn't it ? He should have held on tighter, he shouldn't have let his lover go.
- - - - -
Things weren't going so well for L.Joe either, he wasn't sure how or why, but currently he was pinned against a wall in a dark hallway, with his leader staring him straight in the face. Great, now not only was he going to have to deal with Changjo and Chunji together, Niel being in love with him, C.A.P liked him too ? Was this what was going to happen ? Had his hyung dragged him into the hallway to make-out with him and then him ? Yeah, what a great leader.
No, C.A.P hadn't brought him to do any of that, L.Joe was just being a cocky bastard who thought everybody wanted him. Needless to say, L.Joe was shocked when C.A.P started yelling at him.
"What do you think you're doing with Niel ? Why are you with him ? Don't you love Changjo ? !" C.A.P growled, leaving L.Joe shocked. When did he get involved in the love mess Teen Top had going on ? C.A.P didn't care about L.Joe's relationships, so why was he suddenly caring about his relationship with Niel and Changjo ?
"I think I'm dating him. Because he loves me ?" His last question stabbed L.Joe's heart, but he shook his head "No, I don't love Changjo, I love Niel !" That was a lie, L.Joe still loved Changjo with all his heart, and he only loved Niel as a brother, but he wasn't going to tell C.A.P that.
"You're lying to me. L.Joe ! I don't want Niel hurt, and you're going to hurt him, leave him alone, don't get involved with Daniel, you hear me ?" C.A.P hissed and L.Joe held a knowing look in his eyes, he placed a hand on C.A.P's chest, right above where his heart was and stared into his hyung's eyes.
"Your heart hurts, doesn't it Minsoo ?" He asked, his eyes never leaving his hyungs dark ones. "It hurts a lot doesn't it, seeing Niel and I together ? It kills you inside doesn't it, Minsoo ? You hate it. You want Niel to be yours, you want him to feel for you what he feels for me." L.Joe's hand turned into a fist, he wasn't going to cry, but his eyes started to glaze. "Every time you see me touch him, you want to punch me, don't you ? You want to break me. Just like Chunji did when I was with Changjo. I can't be with anyone, can I ? I'll always upset someone, won't I ?" A chuckle escaped his lips as his hand dropped from Minsoo's chest. "I can't win ..." His dull eyes closed and he sighed, "I ... I can't give you Niel, Minsoo. Forgive me, but I think I deserve to be a little selfish. Niel's mine now, C.A.P ... You had your chance to confess to him, but you failed. So give him up." He pushed his hyung off of him and headed for the studio, but secretly he hoped Minsoo understood what he was saying, that even though he had said out loud that Niel was his, he was actually screaming at the older to take Niel away, telling him to confess already and never give him up.
Because Niel's love was something L.Joe didn't deserve.
- - - - -
Changjo was beyond tense on the drive home, things weren't quite back to usual between Daniel and Jonghyun, but he was trying to act like they were okay.
"Hyung ~ ! Wasn't that fun ?" The maknae called, being a happy person, he was expecting Niel to be as equally happy, but it seemed like his hyung suddenly had a personality switch.
"Do you hate me, Changjo ?" Daniel asked, causing Changjo to raise his eyebrows in surprise.
"Hate you ... ? I could never hate you, hyung." He was being honest, he could never hate Niel, he was too close to him. Sure, he wasn't exactly pleased that Niel was with L.Joe, but he could get over it, besides he had Chunji now so ... He shouldn't be upset.
"Don't lie to me Jonghyun, do you hate me ?" Niel repeated, turning his hurt gaze to meet Changjo's confused look.
This was too much, far, far to much for a young boy to handle. There was to much drama in Teen Top, it was a big mess. Changjo took a deep breath and stared into his hyungs eyes.
"No, I don't hate you Niel. I'm upset sure, it hurts my heart to see you with L.Joe but ... I have to get over it right ? I have someone new now, someone important to me, I'm not going to throw Chunji away. He's important to me, and L.Joe is important to you. As long as you make L.Joe happy, I'll be happy." Jonghyun smiled at his hyung, "So, don't leave him, okay ? Never leave L.Joe. Give him what he wants too, then he won't leave you. His heart wavers, Niel. Don't be hurt if he leaves you for someone else."
After that the car feel into a comfortable silence, and for once, Changjo was at peace with his hyung. He didn't want to attack Niel, in fact, Changjo fell asleep on his shoulder.
When they made it back to their home, Niel had woken Jonghyun up and then left to go sleep in his and L.Joe's room ... Changjo on the other hand went for a search for his other hyung, Chanhee.
"Chunji ~ ! I'm home !" He cried out, expecting his lover's head to pop out from somewhere and give him that big, bright grin that he adored so much ... So, when he didn't hear Chunji's voice, Changjo was a little taken back. Could he be asleep ? Rushing to their room, Changjo found a perfectly made bed, and nobody in there. Shrugging, Changjo figured that he just went out to go shopping or something. Going to the next best thing, he headed to Ricky's room, to also find a perfectly made bed and nobody there ...
Okay, so they both went out ... Did they go out together ? Why did that worry Changjo so much ? Sighing, the boy plopped down on the couch and flicked through the channels, he was just worrying to much, they probably just went out shopping or to get something to eat ... There was nothing going on between them. Chanhee loved Jonghyun, and only Jonghyun. He would never hurt Changjo like L.Joe did.
- - - - -
This was possibly the most cliché thing ever, but Chunji couldn't help it, it was to perfect. Here they were, sitting at the top of the Ferris wheel, and Chanhee leaned over and kissed Ricky with passion, all the love that he hadn't been able to give him in the past couple weeks were melted into the kiss. When they pulled apart, they both had goofy grins on their faces.
"I love you, hyung." Ricky muttered, leaning his head on Chanhee's shoulder.
"I love you, Ricky." Chunji muttered back, his arm wrapping around his former ( or now, secret ) lover's waist.
They sat there as the Ferris wheel brought them down, watching the setting sun. It was romantic indeed, and Chunji was glad he was spending this time with Ricky and nobody else. It was perfect. They got off the ride and walked beside each other, not sure what to do next.
"Do you want to go get something to eat, or go on another ride ?" Chunji asked, only to notice that something had changed in Ricky's eyes ... It looked like how he had looked hours ago, before Chunji had tried to get his mind off of whatever it was. "Hey ... Are you okay ?" Chunji elbowed the younger, earning an annoyed look.
"Do you really love me ... ?" Ricky asked, his voice low and quiet, just barely above a whisper. "Have you fallen for Changjo ? Am I forgotten in your heart Chunji ? Is this all my fault, maybe if I hadn't of let you go you wouldn't have gone to Changjo ... Should I have held on to you tighter ? Do you love Changjo more than you love me ? Have I been replaced ... ?" He repeated questions just with different words, and they all came out in a jumbled mess, leaving Chunji confused.
Thinking for a couple of moments, Chunji pressed his lips to Ricky's forehead, his nose, his neck then his lips.
"Ricky ... I don't love anyone more then I love you. You mean the world to me, Changjo is hurt ... I need to fix his heart, I need to be there for him. You're not forgotten in my heart, because you are my heart." He ran his fingers through Ricky's brown hair, a soft smile appearing on his face. "This isn't your fault Ricky, there was nothing you could have done to stop this, you can't control what L.Joe did, and what I decided to do because of it. It has nothing to do with you ... I don't think you could have held on to me tighter. No, I don't love Changjo more. No, you haven't been replaced." He answered all of his loves questions, smiling at him. "Please, don't feel like any of this was your fault, Changhyun. I love you more then anything, so don't doubt my love for you ... It hurts to think that you think I love someone else."
"Well, you do sleep with him now ... and hold him, can you really blame me ?" Ricky asked, his eyes meeting Chunji's, but he hugged the older with a with grin. "Thank you for telling me, Chanhee. I love you too ... but ... how is faking love for Changjo going to help him ? Someday he'll find out about us, and then he'll just be hurt all over again."
"I know that, Changhyun, but you see ... I'm going to mend his broken heart so L.Joe can take it again, and he won't break it. I know that while Jonghyun's heart is shattered, he's not going to forgive L.Joe, so I'm going to fix it first, then when it's all healed, I'll hand it back to Byunghyun. They'll be happy together, I know that ... They just need one more try, then they'll get the ending right. And we'll be together too ..."
"What about Minsoo hyung and Niel hyung ?" Ricky asked, his eyes looking up.
"What about them ?" Chunji tilted his head.
"Don't tell me you haven't noticed !"
"Tell me ~ !"
Ricky shook his head and looked up to Chunji with bright eyes, "Can't you tell ? Minsoo hyung loves Daniel hyung ! You can see it when he watches him, he has the same look Changjo has when he see's L.Joe and when L.Joe see Changjo, or when you look at me ! But Niel hyung is too blind because he loves L.Joe ..."
"We really are in a mess, aren't we ?" Chunji laughed before taking Ricky's hand and going off to enjoy some more rides.
- - - - -
A / N ;; i'm not exactly sure what happened ... but chapter one isn't appearing anymore ... so ... i'm not sure what to about that.
oh well ... i'll see if i can fix it, if not i'll have to umm ... rewrite it ?
anyways, the next chapter will be up in a couple hours. 8D
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