Define. Memory. What we all know it as is something that we cherish...or something that we try to hide from others. Sometimes these memories are forgotten and it makes it hard to deal with reality. That reality that we have to face everyday and have to deal with the judgment eyes that just don't understand what is going on in our brains...yet there are people who are professionals who tell some of us that...we have a illness...a loss. 

 

Jiyong looks at his husband as he is being rejected with eyes that are dark as night. A hand that he thought he knew all feels unfamiliar as his hand is also rejected the same way as those eyes. It is as if time is stopped when Jiyong realizes that the one that he loves...doesn't remember him. The one he vowed to love for the rest of his life...doesn't remember him?

 

Jiyong shakes his head and looks into those lost eyes again. "Seunghyun...I know that you are mad at me but...but this is not funny..." 

 

"Mad..." The older says to himself making Mrs. Choi respond to Jiyong's words. "I'm not mad at you...because simply..." He looks into the coffee eyes again. "I don't know you..." 

 

Jiyong's heart is beating rapidly to the rejection. This is the man that he has awoken to the past six years and now he is not even calling the man by his name. "But...how can you not know after we..." The younger stops his sentence as Seunghyun makes another puzzled look at him. 

 

"Do we work together?" The older can't even lift his head or turn it. All he can do for now is just use his eyes to look at the people near and hear the voices that are directed towards him. 

 

Jiyong doesn't know what to do. It is as if he is talking to a stranger. This is not his husband...well it is...but he is not being the person that he knows. The Seunghyun who is always running to Jiyong's aid. The one who kisses him passionate and tells him that he loves him no matter how pissed he was moments before. The younger doesn't know if it's the lack of sleep or the lack of love...but he breaks down in the middle of the room with silent tears. 

 

He buries himself into the nearest corner and doesn't know what to do. He has never been rejected and to be done so by his husband murders his thoughts. The last vision that he has of the one that he loves used his body to protect the younger...but at this cost? 

 

Mrs. Choi who is watching everything is just as confused as the other. She is not sure what went one before the accident but she does pick up that they had a fight before hand. She looks Jiyong over who is a complete mess melted in the corner and sighs as she goes over to her son. "Seunghyun ah. Is this too much for you...you want me to get rid of him?" 

 

Seunghyun didn't even know the woman was in the room. For some reason he felt he needed to keep his attention on the other man. "No mother...I'm fine." The woman smiles as her son recognizes her and gently touches his hand. "Do you want me to tell that man to leave?" 

 

The older may have lost his memory...but he does remember some things so far. His dark eyes trail over to his mother. "Who is he to me?" He says in a low voice. The woman smiles and pats the man's hand. "He is no one important...he...is a co worker...I will tell him to leave now." 

 

Mrs. Choi nods and then turns around with a smirk on her face. The lifeless Jiyong is still shocked and a mess with his bandage still ruffling his hair in all sorts of directions. "Let me talk to you in the hall..." 

 

Jiyong shakes his head. "I'm not leaving his side..." 

 

"He said for you to leave..." 

 

Jiyong then looks up at the woman. "Did you say that...or did he?" 

 

The woman folds her arms and then shifts her legs. "Stand up...you look pathetic...." she says with a roll to her eyes. Just that eye roll gave Jiyong back a sense of reality. What good is it going to do him if he looks weak in front of this woman. "Leave." 

 

"No." says Jiyong walking past the woman back over to his man's side. "Seunghyun ah." says Jiyong with a soft voice. The older man hears how the man is calling him and opens his eyes. Jiyong smiles at the man while wiping a tear. "You don't remember me...but I love you very much...I hope that you will remember soon...so I will leave you to rest." The younger takes the larger hand a places a soft kiss on that same hand that took his before the crash. Jiyong tries with all his might not to break front of this man who thinks that he is a stranger. 

 

"Who are you..." says Seunghyun staring the man in the eyes again. 

 

Jiyong smiles at the man again. "I'm your husband." 

 

The older furrows his brows. "My what...I"m gay?" 

 

Jiyong doesn't know why but he laughs a bit. "Ne...you are...your mother over there doesn't like it one bit...that's why she tried to make me your co worker and nothing more than that. Just know...I will do what ever it takes to get your memory back...." 

 

The man makes a confused look at the man and then averts his eyes. "I need to rest." It's that rejection again...but Jiyong is just as overwhelmed as the older. It does them good having a bit of separation to take in  this new reality. 

 

//////////////////////////Dr. Kim's Office/////////////////////

 

Jiyong needs answers. He doesn't care how much he is getting scolded to lay back in bed but he can't. He needs to know what is going on with his lover. "So it's trauma to his memory." 

 

"Ne...sometimes the brain likes to block out things that really stress us out. Right now his brain is remembering only what it wants to." says the older pointing at the X ray. 

 

"Will he regain his memory?" 

 

"Eventually...but that is only if his brain wants him to....sometimes it can take months days..or even years..." 

 

"Years?" says Jiyong with his eyes turning red again. The doctor hands the man the tissue box. "He can be discharged in a couple days under your care. Just if he can bring himself to go with you..." 

 

"You tell him that it's memory loss?" 

 

"Not yet. He is still sleeping. All patients in intensive care I don't like to make their brains over work themselves. Plus he already has a lot going on with his body. He will have to come to therapy four times a week for the next four weeks. Also he will need assistance for most of his daily needs...you are still recovering yourself...do you have relatives who can help you? I wouldn't suggest that in law of yours..." says the doctor crossing his legs. 

 

Jiyong nods in response taking all the information in. "I have a sister...she can help..." 

 

"Well at least there is someone...and it looks like you have a good support...just Jiyong...this will not be easy." 

 

"Oh I'm sure that we will get through it."

 

The doctor sighs. "It's more than that...this is going to be a challenge for you...he doesn't recognize you as a married couple. Are you ready to deal with rejection...and him not seeing you as his other half..." 

 

Jiyong then sinks in his chair. "Do you really think it will be that hard..." 

 

"This is reality Jiyong Shi. It's not that movie where the person instantly recognizes you...you will have to train his brain again...show him things that might trigger the past if he is willing...this could either make your marriage stronger...or you might fail." 

 

Jiyong then grumbles. "Thanks for your faith in me." 

 

The doctor then stands. "I'm just telling you the truth. If you want sugar coated answers you are in the wrong place. I need to go to another surgery. If you wish to sit here and sulk do so...just don't waste too much time because every minute is now of value. 

 

Jiyong mutters as the man leaves the room. The doctor's words are harsh but it is the truth. Jiyong knows that this will not be a easy task....but he's got to start some where...or at least try.  

 

/////////////////////////////////Jiyong's room/////////////////////

 

Youngbae zips up his hoodie. "So you expect him to leave with us today?" says Bae not wanting to be negative but after what he has heard he doesn't expect the stubborn Seunghyun to go so willingly. 

 

Jiyong's sister Dami helps to put on his shoe and laces it tightly. "You better have a plan because brother in law is not the willing type. Remember before you he was straight...." 

 

Jiyong remembers it well. When Seunghyun first started at YG, he  was the player type always dealing with tons of girls and of course sleeping with most of them. It was hard for the man to keep a steady relationship. Seunghyun used women to fill a void. That void was that the whole time he played with women it was him hiding the fact that he was really gay. It wasn't until Jiyong was hired the man started moving his eyes towards another direction...and it was Jiyong the first person he confessed his love to. 

 

Dami hands Jiyong a walking stick. "You know it will be easier to wheel you out of here.." 

 

Jiyogn takes the stick in his hand. "I refuse to be in a wheel chair. I don't want to appear weak to my husband." 

 

"But you are not..." 

 

"Good...let's keep it that way." Jiyong knows his husband well. He looks rough and hard to approach from the outside but really he is soft at heart. What got Jiyong to capture the man's heart was simply resisting his orders of rejection until the man didn't want him to leave his sight. 

 

"I will go get him....just have the car waiting..." 

 

Bae then nods. "I will be in the front parking lot." 

 

//////////////////////Seunghyun's room//////////////////////

 

Jiyong comes down the hallway to a now open door to his husband's room. It's the day that he can be discharged in his care...but he is not sure how this is going to all go. 

 

The younger walks into the room where a wheel chaired man is sitting near a window. Seunghyun has his head supported by the chair and his arm is bandaged in a cast.  They placed the man near a window because Seunghyun refuses to be put in dark places since he has been awake. His vision is still blurry but it is slowly recovering. "Seunghyun..." says a voice that triggers the man's ears and his eyes search what is near. 

 

Jiyong comes into the room and walks over to the man that he loves. Just seeing his love by a window almost breaks his heart. He is nervous even approaching the man but he is not going to back down. "How are you this morning?" 

 

"Stop talking to me like I'm a elder...I remember you..." says the man flatly. It almost makes Jiyong react with joy...but he then remembers is that sentence was meant in a different context. "Oh good...you remember me.." says Jiyong trying not to sound sad. He then smiles as he sees his lover's unharmed left hand still adorned with his wedding band. Jiyong sniffles a bit getting the man's attention. "Why are you crying again....seems like this is all you do..." 

 

Jiyong shakes his head. "Trust me...I don't...it's just good to see you Seunghyun ah." 

 

"Stop calling me like that..." 

 

Jiyong nods his head with a smile. "Ne...shall we go?" The coffee eyes look into the dark ones. "Like I have a choice." says the older with grit to his tone. He would have went home with this mother but after spending two days with her...he knows why he moved out in the first place. The younger takes hold of the wheelchair and slowly wheels the man away from the window. The younger is in pain due to the walking stick but he feel needs to be strong in front of the other. Jiyong then goes over to the bed and grabs a blanket. He walks over to the man who continues to stare at him darkly. "What are you doing?" 

 

"It's cold outside...you need to stay warm..." The younger then places the blanket over the man's legs with care. Just doing this simple thing brings joy to Jiyong's heart. His love could be dead...but he is still alive. Jiyong could be dead...but this man saved him. 

 

"Aish will you hurry up...." grumbles the older as he takes the blanket over his left arm. Jiyong smiles and continues to go the hallway. "It won't be too far to the car." 

 

The older grumbles. "I don't even know you..." 

 

"You do..." 

 

"So you say" 

 

//////////////////////Home////////////////////

 

The older is wheeled into his home and everything is foreign to him. "Do you wish to rest?" says Jiyong trying his best to make this a easy transition for the man. "Ne..." says the older still looking around at his surroundings. 

 

Jiyong slowly wheels the man into the room while his friends and sister go towards the guest rooms. The wheelchair pulled into the master bedroom and is stopped in front of a bed. Jiyong pulls the covers back.

 

Jiyong smiles at the man. "You like to sleep on this side..." 

 

The older looks at the man and then back at the bed. Jiyong then leans out of his bedroom door. "Bae...we need some help." 

 

Bae comes into the room and together they place the man on the bed with his back being supported on the tuffed headboard. Bae then pats Jiyong's shoulder. "You need any more help." 

 

"No...we are good. You guys can chill now." Jiyong is having Bae, Seungri, and Dami stay over for the next coming weeks because moving a man is hard work...and taking care of one who doesn't know you is even harder. 

 

Jiyong then sits on the edge of the bed to then place his husband's foot on his lap making the older freak out a bit. "Wha...what are you doing..." says the man still overwhelmed with this life. Jiyong then looks into the man's eyes. "Just helping you to get comfortable..." 

 

"I don't want you to do that...I told you I'm not gay....I know that you are my husband...I'm still getting use to that...but don't act gay to me...don't call me by my name...just...don't do that...." 

 

Jiyong then starts to massage the man's foot gently. The older would pull his foot back but he doesn't have the strength. "Yah..I thought I told." "You can gripe all you want but I'm not giving up on you. That brain of yours just hasn't caught up to me yet..." Jiyong then leans over to his lover's night stand to place a picture on Seunghyun's lap for him to look at. The older's eyes widen at the sight of the picture of them hugging one another in tuxes and Jiyong kissing his cheek. "Six years ago...we got married...that ring that you wear...it was given by you when you proposed to me." 

 

"Are you trying to tourcher me..." says the older averting his eyes. 

 

"Never...because I love you." 

 

The older then growls. "Well I certainly don't love you...I would be a fool to do so...stop touching me..." 

 

Jiyong then grits his teeth as he takes the other foot into his lap. "Just a couple of minutes more. And you will be done with me for today..." says the younger still massaging his lover's feet and calfs. The doctor says it's important to massage his legs to promote circulation. Jiyong then puts the foot down with a light tap. He stands and then smiles. "Good night." says the younger with a smile that never leaves him. 

 

The younger then leaves the room trailing down the hallway to his sister's room with a knock on the door. The door slowly opens to a sister with open arms enveloping the man that is about to collapse. "Jiyong...." 

 

The younger whails in his sister's shoulder as he cries out the love that might have been lost. "Why can't he remember me..." says the man in tears. He kept the smile for long enough....he forgot the man could be cold. 

 

"Jiyong...remember...he is still getting use to everything. This whole world is foreign to him...he is probably scared right now. Don't give up." 

 

Jiyong sniffles a bit and releases the embrace. His eyes are red and his face is puffy. "You are right noona...it's just hard. I don't know that man that is speaking to me...he looks like my Seunghyun...but it's not him...it's just a cold hearted man." "Who is in pain and his limbs are bruised...Jiyong...look at his point of view." 

 

//////////////////////////////5am/////////////////////////

 

"NO NOOOOO!!!" screams Seunghyun waking up from another nightmare. Jiyong is of  course by his husband's side ever since he heard the murmurs in his sleep. The dark eyes see the lit room and Jiyong ringing out another cloth of cold water to pat him dry. "What are you doing..." 

 

"You had a bad dream." says the younger with a smile. "Go back to sleep. Ne?" The older man's eyes close again and this time he drifts back to sleep. Jiyong smiles at the sleeping man and pushes the loose hairs from his forehead. "Why it it hard for me to not be mad at you. If only that brain of yours knew how much I love you...how...how much I'm sorry...how much I miss you..."

 

The younger whips a tears quickly while picking up the bowl. He goes out into the living room and places the bowl in the kitchen. The younger then takes his place on the sofa where it's currently his place of sleep. Dami comes into the room and nudges her brother. "Come on..you can share a bed with me..." 

 

Jiyong smiles. "It's okay. I can sleep out here...he has been not sleeping well."

 

"What about you?" says the older concerned. "What about your needs...when was the last time you addressed your bandages...."

 

Jiyong smiles at his sister. "I'm fine."