BGM: Avril Lavigne - How You Remind Me

Ricky's POV:

"Niel.. Are you asleep? Can you open the door for me?" Jonghyun knocks their shared room's door with pleading voice. After practiced today, or more specific, after I scolded him today, Niel turned to 'black Niel' again. It's my nickname for him when he becomes cold and gloomy like months ago. Like seriously, you can feels a dark tension if you were at least 10 feet around him.

And no, I’m not feeling guilty at all. He need to think and stop being selfish. Because it was not just about him and Byunghun hyung or with Jonghyun. It's about our group. Can you see the future of our group if Niel keep doing that to Byunghun hyung and Jonghyun? Of course I can. Our team wills up. Its sounds not really good, like really not good.

Just Niel being gloomy all day already made a tensed here and there. Even around him were a dark tensed, but it seems like the spotlight just spotting him. Peoples got curious when the one from two sun shines in our group sulked all the time.

Yeah, Niel and I called as sunshine. But the truth is, there’s always only one sunshine in this world. And it’s Niel. While me just the shadow. Niel is the one who could bring the happiness for peoples, while me is just as a complement to make everything feel right. Without me, he still can make the shadow. But without him, I can’t do anything.

Honestly he's my favorite hyung, and I swear he's still my favorite. And because he's my favorite, I don’t want him to make a mistake. He's already made a mistake toward Byunghun hyung though, and I don’t want him to make another mistake in the future.

Remember when he became the 'black Niel' months ago? When Jonghyun and Byunghun hyung avoiding him?

Yes.

 It's because of me.

Become an honest person like me, sometimes made me frustrated. I want to try lie in a good way. But, yeah, I can’t. I remember when I’m in first grade and cheating in exam, I told my teacher that I was cheating and school called my parents. I can’t lie for goodness sake!

I remember, it was another sweaty afternoon. Everyone was sat on the floor with cloths soaked with sweat expect Niel who was practiced his solo performance for the ZEPP tour. He sat beside the piano while he sang along with the tune.

And I don’t miss dreamy eyes from Byunghun hyung toward Niel. I nudged him by the elbow.

"Hyung, you're too obvious." I said with a soft chuckle escaped from my mouth when he didn’t budged and kept staring Niel. Niel glanced toward him before looked at his lyric. After a while he tore his gaze from Niel to me and wiped his sweat with sleeve.

"Am I? It's good then. I want him notice it, anyway." He said with cheeky smile.

"Oh, you heard me? I think you're too far away in your dream" he just shrugged.

"Well, he already noticed it by the way." My mouth just moved by his own and I immediately regret it.

"He did?" the smile on his lips grew bigger blinding my eyes. And became a traitor as my mouth, I threw a ticking bomb to myself.

"Yeah, he noticed Jonghyun too."

And I realized how world really hates me when I heard a voice that too familiar for my liking piped in from beside me. 

"He noticed me too?" a shocked yet happy sound was like a knife stabbed to my ears. And I winched a little. I kept chanting on my head to say no, but oh my mouth seems like have his own brain.

"Yeah he did." I said, and I kept talking. "But, you know. Eung… He… Already like someone." Good idiot, just good! I trailed down and twiddling my fingers when I heard my own voice. I kept prying the ground will split into two and me down. I can’t saw their face but I can felt the hurt from the way they breathe heavily.

The three of us kept silence for a good minutes and it felt like a years for me. And I still can’t look at their eyes. God I just killed myself and drag my two friends to grave as well.

After a while, finally Jonghyun decided to break this scary atmosphere with a simple oh before said with a voice that breaks my heart.

"If this person can make Niel happy, I'll just make a step back. I'll let him go."

And Byunghun hyung nodded numbly in agreement trying his best to not spilling his tears. I want to scream no to them. They're misunderstanding. But in time like this, the traitor can’t talk anything. My mouth surely had a serious problem.

Or this two people too dumb to realize, that a moment ago I said Niel like someone else. Not have a freaking boyfriend or girlfriend. They haven't started dating yet or something like that. And honestly, even Niel said to me he like someone. I can felt his feeling toward this person slowly faded away as Byunghun and Jonghyun stepped in his life.

But who am I talking?

I feel a couch beside me deepen as Jonghyun sits beside me with a loud sigh. He already gave up making Niel open the damn door.

"Just break the door already." Minsoo hyung give him a worthless advice.

"If a called manager is doesn’t exist in this world, I've done it hours ago." Jonghyun ruffles his own hair and look to Chanhee hyung with pleading eyes. "Hyung, I'll sleep here?” His voice more like begging than statement.

"After my death body" he answering without tears his eyes from his phone. "You can sleep with me though."

Jonghyun shudders a bit. "Hell no!"

Finally Chanhee hyung look at him and clutches his chest with a fake sniffs, "you hurt my feeling."

Jonghyun just rolls his eyes, totally ignoring the older. "I'll sleep with Changhyun"

I gasp loudly. Really, I’m not exaggerating. But god knows what am I will be when I sleep with him. I’m absolutely sure I’ll have a bruise all over my body next morning. Jonghyun is a type of person that punching and kicking in his sleep. Expect with Niel, of course.

"Hell no!" I said and he mimicking Chanhee hyung. And Jonghyun ended up sleep alone in my bed. Leaving me to choose a bed for tonight.

I can’t sleep with Byunghun hyung though, he snore like a frog. I can’t sleep with Minsoo hyung either. I'll end up sleeping on the floor. Even his boyfriend never wanted to sleep with him for god knows what he did to him. No thanks.

So I ended up sleeping with a cuddle monster a.k.a Chanhee hyung. Like seriously, now I can’t breathe properly as he cuddling me tightly like a freaking teddy bear and buries my face into his chest. Blocking the lovely airs to enters my nose.

This is will be a long night.

.

Can someone break Niel’s door?