Review • onige_a

Writing Down the Bones {CLOSED FOR JUDGING}

Everything

by onige_a

 
 
 
            

 
 
 
 
 
 
   

Good Job!!

[...judging is still in progress...]

 

**Again, I want to state that the purpose and goal of this workshop was to be helpful as one writer to another. I don't grade or do a points-system, or anything like that; simply give you the advice I have received myself along the years. You may, of course, take anything I have to say with a grain of salt; it is your story and your emerging talents in question, not mine. So be confident and continue to write the stories that are inside you—be the master of your own domain, regardless of what anyone else ever has to say. In the meantime, I hope I was of some help.

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Author's Thoughts
Shiny_A_plus
Writing up the final review as we speak, and about to declare winners of Round 1...
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Isadora_Quagmire #1
Chapter 17: Tq. I'm glad you enjoyed the story. It was only produced because of the lovely prompt, so you must take some credit here <3
ChiaKairi #2
Chapter 10: Thank you so much for everything unnie! I'm glad you liked the story and I'm so happy you think I'm improving ;3
Yes by the way, Jonghyun red his essay to Taemin at the phone.
Have a nice day and thank youuuu
heartykeykeke #3
Chapter 16: Thank you for the detailed review! It's not as critical as i expected haha. I'm glad you didn't tear it apart. I have an urge to go back and change all of it but i know you don't think that's right. I'll go check errors in spelling and punctuation and delete some ly words. I know i still rely on that too much. But i use less adjectives and less adverbs than my stories 2 years ago now I'm conscious of it. In future stories i will work on being more direct. I will definitely keep in mind what you suggested about syntax in the future if and whenever i continue writing. It's gotten harder these days. I have ideas but I'm never satisfied with the way i write now. I think being so concerned about correctness and style has gotten me to lose some of my own way of writing. I don't want to just imitate others you know? Because i think i have my own style that works when i just wing it without much thought or pressure. Being an English teacher is blocking me i think haha. Anyway some things you commented on i can't promise to change. Because there's also more personal opinionated contents. Like i disagree with comments about feminism and too much emotion but we could talk for days about that. We both have our own interpretations and i personally prefer to read things in that fashion than the way you sometimes portray homoual relationships. You know i like things more romanticized and it's something i won't change. Because i believe there are many men that are more effeminate and emotional and romantic. That's how some are i know tho not the majority. so sorry to say if you read anything else from me it won't fully suit your taste. Maybe it's connected to hormones and personality that were different that way? Haha

I had a question that's bugging me tho. Are you supposed to put commas between averages or no? Because i didn't before. Then a grammar book said i should. now you say not to. So confusing
Isadora_Quagmire #4
Chapter 15: **swooning because compliments x 1000** you are extremely kind and I thank you for your guidance. Will work on it and someday present you with a better version.
kagaki #5
I'm tempted to join Rounc 3, but would it okay even though I never participated before?
AffxtedShawol #6
Chapter 14: Thank you for reviewing it. I'll let Shawol360 know~
SimplyAsian #7
Chapter 13: Thank you so much for the review!!! I will keep these pointers in mind and use it to improve my writing. I struggle with keeping the same tense but now that I have a guideline and and example of what's right and wrong, hopefully I can improve next time. Now that I think of it, Jonghyun killing Key for immortality does sound absurd lol. I should've justified why he killed them and his motif for doing what he did. One thing that took me by surprise is the thing you said about Taemin knowing more than the reader realizes. I didn't intend for Taemin to appear that way but now that I think of it, it does seem that he knows something we don't lol. I didn't realize that there could be a different interpretation on something, depending on how the message/actions is delivered by the character. Anyways... thanks again. I'll try to revise more. Your review is really helpful.
heartykeykeke #8
Heartykeykeke
Profile, but prob not necessary: http://www.asianfanfics.com/profile/view/21179
story link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/801582/unattainable-action-drama-jongkey-romance-shinee-slightangst-auzorro

Title: Unattainable

Star-crossed love prompt

review he.ll yes!

this was completed before i submitted it but that's just cuz i was lazy to do this. I did write it after being inspired by this plot and some other things like Key's awesome sword play in his musical. Hopefully people start submitting. Maybe it needs to be advertised again. Well
..loves ^^ hope all is going well or better for you!
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