Dear ...

You know what, forget it. I am dumping your name, your face, your existence from my memories. If only I could erase those words I heard come out of that pert mouth of yours.

Did you think that I would let it go? Exactly how could I let it go?! You knew!

I am so much more than that clumsy fool on stage. My scrapes and bruises are only a small fraction of the wear and tear on my body; taken on from the long hours in the rehearsal rooms and comeback stages.

Maybe I am a little soft - but I am only 'soft' for the members I lead. I distinctly recall your complaints when you came with me on tour; how you missed your home and couldn't stomach the foreign food. The number of times I have checked in and out of hotels, the times I led Taemin or Kibum to the bathrooms, or slipped Jonghyun a painkiller... I am sorry dear that the travel was not easy.

And whilst on the subject of food - Chicken? YOU WERE MY CHICKEN.

I thought that you understood. I thought that your soul was greater than what mine could ever dream to be.

Yes, I loved you but I hate you now.

You're just another girl, another broken heart for me.

I tried for a different 'Jinki' - one who is actually a man with pride. 

And maybe ... maybe(!) ... I was listening to a certain teaser MV on repeat because I is excited for Jaejoong's album (and wishing fervently that he will consider going onto tv with actual comeback stages now that he is legally protected from sme's influence...)