I'm Sorry, I love you

 

“I promise, no matter what I'll always be here.”

 

That sentence always rings in my head every time I'm reminded of her. I hate how even though I try and tell myself to move on, that life keeps going, my heart won't allow me.

 

“Jessi!” a voice rang out pulling me out of my stupor

 

“Hmm?” I looked at my dark haired friend

 

“You were zoned out, staring at your watch again.” Tiffany said while having her arms crossed, and giving me her you-were-thinking-about-her-again look

 

“Sorry Tiff..uhm what were you saying?” I tried to play it cool

 

“Jessi...how many times do we have to do this?” Tiffany sighed, taking a seat on one of the chairs in my office

 

“I know Tiff, I know...it's just...no matter how much I try, I just....I don't know...I'm trying.” I manage to say, without sounding too much like an idiot.

 

“I know you are Jessi..but it's been 3 years, it's time that you really move on from Taeyeon.”

 

“Tiff, I'm trying, I swear I really am” I tried to sound convincing.

 

“You know you've never really been a good liar Jessi, so how about this. If I can get this watch of yours fixed, can you promise me that you really will try to move on? Like for real?” She asked me.

 

I stared at my watch. It's Tiffany & Co. and it's one of a kind, just like Taeyeon was.....

 

~flashback~

 

“Ssssiiiiiccccaaa~~~ let's go out to eat I'm hungry~” Taeyeon whined over the phone.

 

“This midget, you want to eat out again? I thought you wanted to have more homemade meals?” I teased.

 

“Yah! I'm not a midget, just vertically challenged.” Taeyeon replied.

 

“Stop pouting, I was just teasing. Where do you want to go? The usual?” I asked her.

 

“Hmmm how about that new restaurant in town? I heard that it's really good.”

 

“Okay, sounds good. Did you want to meet up at home or?”

 

“No no, I'll come get you. Be ready in about an hour.”

 

“Okay Tae. See you later.”

 

“See you later. I love you.”

 

“Love you too Tae.”

 

The hour zoomed by and it was finally time to leave the office.

 

“Sica! Over here!” I saw Taeyeon waiting in front of the office building. Leaning against her white BMW coolly.

 

I waved at her and we both walked towards each other.

 

“Hey there beautiful.” Taeyeon smiled, before pulling me into a tight hug

 

“Hey there to you too.” I smiled, feeling comforted in her hold.

 

“So let's go?” I smiled, pulling out of our hug, and pulling her forward. But we didn't even get a few steps, when she pulled my arm. When I turned my head, a pair of soft lips landed on mine.

 

“I didn't get a hello kiss.” Taeyeon winked at me.

 

“This byuntae” I blushed.

 

“Aww our Sooyeonie is blushing.” Taeyeon teased me.

 

“Am not.” I pouted.

 

“Okay okay your not.” She softly chuckled, intertwining our hands, and leading me to her car. Taeyeon opened the car door for me to get inside.

 

But, that's when everything, my everything, was taken away from me.

 

When Taeyeon opened the door, a loud honk and a sudden crashed struck my entire world.

 

As if everything was moving in slow motion, I watched as the giant truck hit the car door, I turned towards Taeyeon and I saw her shocked expression, but before she was hit, she looked at me. And I swear she gave me a small smile before she was taken away. The impact pushed, the car to the side a bit, I hit my head on one of the seats, but the pain in my head wasn't enough to stop me from going to Taeyeon.

 

“TAEYEON!!!” I yelled and dashed out the car, running towards the love of my life. I watched as the truck kept going, not even stopping.

 

“Someone please help!” I yelled, taking Taeyeon's body onto my lap.

 

“Taeyeon! Tae!! Stay with me.” I cried, my hands shaking as I hold her bloody face in my hands.

 

“Je..Jessica..”She weakly says her eyes opening

“Shh shh don't talk, the ambulance is on it's way.” I tried to stay calm, but Taeyeon nodded her head no.

 

“Sooyeon...I...I...am sorry...I love you.” She smiled before her eyes closed. Leaving me....forever.

 

~End flashback~

 

“Jessi. It's a deal okay?”

 

“Fine fine, it's a deal.” I agreed, taking my watch off and handing it over to her.

 

“Great!” Tiffany beamed before skipping out of my office.

 

That watch...I've taken it everywhere to try and fix it, but they all tell me that it's impossible. The watch was in Taeyeon's coat pocket and when the paramedics took her away, it fell out. I picked it up, and I recognized it right away. It was the watch we saw a few days before the accident. I really wanted to get it, but it was late at night and the store was closed.

 

Tiffany's POV

 

“So can you fix it?” I asked my friend.

 

“Hmm it's really broken, has your friend tried taking it back to the original store?” She asked me.

 

“Yes and they all told her that it's impossible to fix.”

 

“Then why come to me?” She asked, taking a bite of her sandwich

 

“Because I thought that the Great Im Yoona can fix this watch, guess not.” I replied, trying my best to conceal my smirk

 

“Who says I can't fix it?! I'll fix it, just you wait and see Fany-ah.” Yoona huffed, grabbing the watch from my hand.

 

“Great! Let me know when it's fixed!” I beamed before skipping out of Yoona's “office”

 

Yoona's POV

 

I can't believe Tiffany's friend kept this watch even though it's broken so badly. I stared at the watch and began to tinker.

 

Working on the watch for a solid 6 hours, I finally got the internal structure fixed, now I just have to replace the glass and it's all good. Checking the clock, it was already 3AM. Damn, I have work tomorrow too...oh well, it really doesn't matter if I'm late or not.

 

I arrived at work right around lunch time, but instead of going to my office, I went straight to the 3rd floor window overlooking the garden.

I checked my watch and smiled, at exactly 12:30PM, my princess would eat her lunch at the garden in front of the fountain.

 

I smiled as I saw the brunette walk towards her usual spot. Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I just walk over to her and like actually have a conversation, but I'm too shy and scared to do that. So, I'm content just watching her from afar.

 

After lunch, I went back to my office and found Tiffany waiting for me.

 

“Did you fix it yet?” She asked

 

“Nope, haven't even looked at it yet. I told you I'll tell you when I fix it.” I lied.

 

“Okay, but can you please work a little faster?”

 

“I will, I will.” I told her.

 

Later that night, I began to work on the watch again. I finished replacing the glass and now all that's left is to see if it works. I put the watch on, and slowly pushed the dial in to start the watch back up. I beamed when the second hand started to tick slowly.

 

The following day I returned the watch to Tiffany.

 

“I knew I can count on you Yoong!” Tiffany beamed

 

“Told you I can do it. But what do I get out of fixing this watch? Lunch?” I ask her. I mean it's fair right? I fixed it for her, she should at least feed me lunch.

 

“Hmmm okay I'll treat you.” She gave me sly smirk before walking out of my office.

 

That girl, I know she's planning something....But what?

 

I tried to call Tiffany for my lunch treat, but she didn't answer my calls or texts. So I gave up and went to my spot to watch my princess. I waited for a bit, but she didn't come. I was a little disappointed when she didn't come.

 

“Why are you so beautiful?” I ask no one in particular, while staring at a photo I secretly took of her. I know it's weird...but I just had to capture that one moment in time.

 

“Because I am.” Came a sudden reply, causing my heart to skip multiple beats from shock. Turning my head, I was surprised to see Tiffany behind me with my princess!

 

“Ah...Uhm..Ah..Uhmm..” I tried to form a coherent sentence but nothing came out.

 

“Cat got your tongue?” She asked, and I almost nodded, but I stopped myself from doing so. I just can't believe that I'm literally a meter away from my princess. My princess that I've been secretly watching over ever since I first laid eyes on her.

 

“No, uhm Fany-ah what are you doing here? No, I mean how did you know I was here?” I asked after getting my sanity back.

 

“I asked around, but here.” Tiffany said handing me an Iced Coffee and a sandwich from a the cafe across the street.

 

“Ah for the watch I fixed? You're welcome Fany-ah thanks for the lunch.” I beamed

 

“Actually, it's not from me. That watch you fixed is..oh jeez where are my manners, Yoona this is my friend Jessica. Jessica Jung.” Tiffany finally introduced me to my princess.

 

“Ah, uhm nice to meet you Yoona-shi.” she smiled and held her hand out.

 

“The pleasure is all mine, Jessica-shi, but please just call me Yoona or Yoong.” I smiled, and took her hand. I never thought that another person's hand can be so soft, and delicate.

 

“Well, then Yoona, please just call me Jessica as well.” She smiled. And I just felt my heart race when she smiled at me. Wow..just wow. How mesmerizing can one person be?

 

“Anyways, as I was saying..Yoona the watch you fixed for me is actually Jessi's” Tiffany said, while motioning for us to sit down so we can actually have lunch.

 

“Ah I see...uhm I'm glad I can fix it for you.” I smiled towards her

 

“This watch...it has a very special meaning for me..So I am really thankful that you were able to fix it Yoona. Actually, when Tiff gave it to me this morning, I thought that she bought another one instead, but the engraving on the back was still there. So I knew it was the original.” she sincerely replied, while gazing at the watch on her wrist. While she was gazing at her watch... I felt a bit sad. I don't know, if I'm just over-analyzing things, but it's like she's longing for something when she looks at that watch. I wonder why it holds such a special meaning for her?

 

“But Jessi you have to keep your promise with the watch being fixed okay?” Tiffany looked sternly at Jessica

 

“Of course Tiff...it won't be right away, but I'll try my best. I really will” She smiled.

 

“Good that's what I wanted to hear. Well you two, enjoy your lunch. I actually have a meeting to attend. So bye.” Tiffany quickly said and ran off, leaving me alone with my princess.

 

Silence..it was so quiet after Tiffany left I thought I was going to die. Gosh I never knew that awkward silence can be this damn AWKWARD!

 

“So..uhm..” I began to start a conversation, but my princess was busy looking out the window.

 

“Do you like the view?” I asked her.

 

“I do..actually I usually eat lunch down there.” She said pointing at the bench in the garden in front of the fountain.

 

“Yeah I've seen you before...” I replied and she gave me this weird have-you-been watching me kinda look.

 

“Uh I mean..I've noticed you there once or twice, when I happen to take my lunch up here.” I replied, scratching the back of my neck out of nervousness. Gosh I don't want her to think of me as some kind of weirdo stalker or something.

 

“Ah I see..” She said, and went back to staring out the window, while quietly enjoying her lunch.

 

“Uhm Jessica, can I ask you something?”

 

“Ah sure wha..”

 

“Yah! I knew you'd be here!” Sunny, mine and Tiffany's other friend suddenly came out of nowhere.

 

“AH Sunny? What's up?” I asked.

 

“Jeez, Yoona I've been looking for you! I've got big news for...” Sunny Stopped midway when she noticed that I wasn't alone.

 

“Taeyeon...” I heard Jessica whisper.

 

“Ah Sunny, this is Jessica Jung, Jessica this is Sunny.”

 

“Ah nice to meet you Jessica-shi.” Sunny smiled, but Jessica just stared at her looking stoned.

 

“Jessica are you alright?” I asked, her eyes were turning red and a single tear streamed down her beautiful face.

 

“Taeyeon-ah~” Jessica quietly said, before engulfing Sunny in a tight hug. Now i'm shocked. Who is this Taeyeon person?

 

I looked at Sunny and she had this same shocked and confused look on her face as I do.

 

“Uhm Jessica-shi.” Sunny awkwardly patted Jessica's back, which seemed to pull Jessica out of her own world.

 

“Oh..I'm so so sorry...I didn't mean to.. You just..you just..I'm sorry I have to go.” Jessica quickly said, before running off.

 

“What was that?” Sunny asked me.

 

“I..I don't know, but I have to go bunny.” I quickly said, running after my princess.

 

Opening every possible door, and checking every corner of the building I could not for the life of me find her, but I didn't give up. There's one more place I didn't check and that's the roof.

“Jessica-shi!” I yelled when I found her leaning dangerously close to the edge of the roof.

 

She turned to look at me, tears streaming down her face.

 

“How did you know I was here?” She asked wiping the tears from her eyes.

 

“I didn't...I just kept looking.” I honestly replied, handing her my handkerchief.

 

“Ah..but why?”

 

“Why?” I answered her question with another.

 

“Yeah why...why did you look for me?” She elaborated her original question although there was no need to do so since I knew what she meant.

 

“I...don't know, I just don't want to see you sad.” I replied, concealing half the truth. I mean it would have probably weirded her out if I told her that I went looking for her because I like her and I want to comfort her, because I don't want to see her sad.

 

“You're a good person Yoona-shi..” she gave me a small smile.

 

“Yoona..call me Yoona.” I smiled.

 

“Okay, and drop the formalities with me as well.” Jessica smiled again, this time wider.

 

Assa! I made her smile. I mentally cheered.

 

“So....do you want to talk about it?” I asked. I'm not sure where I'm getting all this confidence to talk to her, but I sure as hell wont waste it.

 

“I guess I do owe you and Sunny-shi an explanation don't I?” she asked, tears starting to pool into her eyes once again.

 

“Hey...you don't have to if you don't want to. I'm not forcing you.” I smiled, turning my attention to the view of Seoul.

 

“Taeyeon...she was my girlfriend.” Jessica began, “we were together for about 2 years when she was taken from this Earth.”

 

“I..I'm sorry for you lost.” I felt sincerely sorry and sad for Jessica. The pain of losing someone you love is...I just can't imagine how much pain that would be.

 

“Thanks...but it's been 3 years since then..but I just can't move on..God you must think I'm a pathetic loser, still pinning for her dead girlfriend.” Jessica began to cry again, and as if an unknown force took over me, I pulled her into my embrace.

 

“Shhh...your not pathetic.. don't cry... I may not know what kind of pain your going through right now, so I can't tell you that I know how it feels, but if you'll let me, I'll try my best to help you get over her....as your friend.” I whispered, her back. Trying my best to make her feel like she's not alone, that she can always come to me. That I'll always be there for her, no matter what.

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

Days turned into weeks, which turned into months. In the last few months since that day, Jessica and I got closer. We've become more open with each other. We've gotten so close that Tiffany gets jealous, claiming that I “stole” her best friend. It's quiet funny really, Jessica and I would be having lunch and Tiffany would come, drag me out of there so that she and Jessica could have lunch together instead. I've also become more confident as I spent time with Jessica. I've dressed up for work more and I finally got rid of my glasses, but when I did that Jessica seemed to become more possessive. She would glare whenever someone would be to close to me, and complain non-stop when I have lunch with someone else. Sometimes I think she's just jealous of me spending time with others, but then I remember that we'r