"Umma, Appa, hurry up I want to meet up with the hyungs!" Sehun jumped and down impatiently as his parents bought some snacks for their sons at the street stall beside the road.

"Be patience, Hunnie. We're buying your favourite odeng to eat later with hyungs." Mrs Kim, Sehun's mother, gently patted Sehun on the head before paying her attention back to the food stall lady asking her to repeat her orders.

Sehun grumpily pouted, nodding his head before crossing his arms.

Sehun stared longingly at the amusement park on the opposite road. Somewhere in there his hyungs must be having fun playing the roller coasters and tea cup rides, but his hyungs did promised to wait for them before going in.

It was a perfect Saturday, the weather was great to be out playing and Sehun's parents had bought them lotte world tickets to celebrate Sehun's birthday. However Sehun had an extra class today hence his hyungs had went ahead to the said amusement park to while their parents picked Sehun up from his school. Nonetheless to say, Sehun can't wait to meet up his beloved hyungs and have fun on his birthday.

"Sehunnie~!" Sehun heard a familiar voice calling for his name.

His eyes brightened, turning around and sees his 11 favourite hyungs waving at him at the other side of the road. They were wearing party hats, and Jongin was holding a big box which contained the cake inside that Kyungsoo and their mother had baked the previous night.

"Hyungs!!!" Sehun was too excited and elated to his brothers that he had forgotten about his parents and ran towards his hyungs.

He even forgot the fact that his brothers were at the other side of the road. Sehun heard a series of honks, and his eyes widened when he sees a truck coming towards his way. Sehun stopped running, frozen over the fact that he was in the middle of the busy road, and a truck is speeding towards him. Sehun shut his eyes closed, waiting for the impact and--

Sehun snapped his eyes opened, panting heavily. He sat up, trying to catch his breath and wiping his sweat from his damp forehead. He sighed, after being able to finally breathe properly. 'Another nightmare...' He checks the time, 2 in the morning. 'Guess I won't be able to sleep again.' He stares at the empty bed opposite of his. Jongin was supposed to sleep there, but the said boy rarely sleeps in their room, opting to sleep in Kyungsoo and Joonmyun's room now. Well, who would want to sleep with a murderer, right? Sehun got up from his bed and sat on his study table, pulling out a dark blue hard cover book before turning to a fresh new page.

10/04/09

Dear Journal-shi,

It's 2 in the morning, I had the nightmare again. I'm so tired of having these nightmares, I guess Umma and Appa blames me for their death too, haunting me every night in my sleep. Another sleepless night. Maybe I should skip maths today to catch a few hours of sleep in the infirmary.

The said book was now he's listening ear. He need somebody, or something to pour his feeings too and decided to buy a cheap notebook to write his feelings. It'll be easier to cope that way. He closes the book and places it back in the drawer. He lays his head on the table, wondering what should he do until 6.

☁

Sehun eventually spent the 4 hours studying, much to his dismay because he really does not have anything to do since he completed Pokemon X recently. He should really buy another game, like Animal Crossing maybe to spend his boring days on. He hears his brothers waking up, as Luhan screamed to Baekhyun to 'get the out of the toilet before I break this door!'. After another hour, the house was silent. His brothers have finally left for school. Sehun finally left the confines of his room and took a quick shower. He only have half an hour left before the school bell rings. He dressed up into his navy uniform and wore his thick-rimmed glasses. Sehun's eye sight was near perfect but to hide his very obvious eyebags, he decided to wear one and also, to blend in school. He grabbed his bag and locked the house, before running towards the bus stop.

Sehun made to school in time, just before the bell rang. He sat in his seat at the back and his english teacher strutted in.

Lunch came by Sehun qued to buy a bun and a packet of milk for himself. After he bought his lunch, he sees his hyungs- Jongin, Tao, Kyungsoo, Chanyeol, Baekhyun and Jongdae - sitting at a table enjoying their packed lunch cooked by Kyungsoo. Sehun wonders when Kyungsoo will cook for him like he used to in the past.

"Yah, freshman!" Sehun turns and sees a third year calling him.

Not wanting to disrespect the senior Sehun approached them.

"You know us right?" the third year asked, pointing to himself and his group of friends.

Sehun nodded fearfully. The third year was none other than Yunho, the school's infamous gang leader and the other third years sitting behind him was his gang members.

"This, are for us." Yunho grabbed the bun and milk that Sehun had bought for himself and placed it on the table.

"Go buy another 4 buns and milk." Yunho patted Sehun's back, giving him a bright smile and his friends burst out laughing.

Sehun just nodded, not wanting to find trouble and hurried back to the que. He had to spend his hard-earned money for the bullies. Sadly, Sehun knows himself that he wasn't strong enough to fight the bullies hence obediently fulfilling their orders.

Yunho seems satisfied, "You can go now." patting Sehun's head as if he was an animal. Sehun bowed before walking away.

"Check out that ." Jaejoong snickered.

"Man, that S-line. Are you sure he's a guy?" Yoochun wolf-whistled.

"He's pretty, for a boy." Changmin nodded in agreement.

"That's why Yunho's messing with him." Junsu rolled his eyes.

"That's our new target, boys." Yunho smirked towards Sehun's disappearing figure.

Instead of going back to class, Sehun made his way to the infirmary. He slid the door open and was greeted by Yuri, the school's nurse, kind smile.

"Hello Sehunnie, what can I do for you?" Yuri motioned Sehun to come in.

"I'm really tired noona, can I sleep in for half an hour?" Sehun asked shyly, playing with the hem of his uniform.

"Of course you can, I'll wake you up and write a note for you too." Yuri smiled, preparing the bed for Sehun.

"Thank you noona." Sehun bowed gratefully.

Yuri is probably one of Sehun's few friends in school. The younger had fainted a couple of times in school due to exaushation. The female nurse noticed Sehun's eye bags and noted the younger's boy skinny frame and concluded that Sehun is mentally and physically tired, not to mention lack of nutritions. Yuri used to study psychology back in college and prodded Sehun to tell her what has been bothering him. Hence Sehun opened up and told Yuri that ever since the accident he had nightmares every night which disallowed him to sleep peacefully at night. Therefore Yuri allowed the younger one to sleep in the infirmary any time if he feels tired.

Sehun's always shy when talking to people and Yuri concluded that was because of Sehun's fear of rejection. His brothers had caused Sehun to be afraid of people, causing the younger one to be in anxiety when socialising which resulting him not to have many friends. It was also Yuri's idea for Sehun to have a diary for his ownself.

Yuri glanced back to check on Sehun and was relieved to see Sehun sleeping peacefully.

☁

"Hey, Yunho and gang is messing around with Sehun..." Tao stared at the scene where Yunho patted Sehun's head as the younger handed over buns and packets of milk to the third year senior.

"Who cares?" Jongin rolled his eyes, "He need to know the pain we're suffering, Umma and Appa suffering."

"Are you sure? I mean, even though I'm still upset over Umma and Appa's death, does Sehun deserve this?" Tao questioned.

That question was not only directed towards his brothers, but towards himself too.

"We've been babying since young anyway," Jongdae chided, "It's good if he knows how cruel the world is."

"But we did promised Umma and Appa we'll protect him, right? Remember when Sehun first stepped into our house?" Tao reminded.

"Tao, if you want to help Sehun so much, go ahead." Baekhyun glared at his younger brother, "Just so you know he was the cause of Umma and Appa's death! We're all orphans again thanks to him!"

Tao sighed and kept his mouth shut. He stared at Sehun's back with pity.

omg i actually have subcribers for this thank you?? ㅠㅠ 

i wrote this for like 4 hours and it's still kinda short i'm sorry will try to write longer for the next chapter :c

sorry for boring first chapter but look forward for the angst I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE ANGST EHEHEHE bye