Aerin POV

Everything seems blurred like a dream. Everything that happen around me looks blurred, empty. I don’t even know what I feel anymore. Like a shadow that come and go just like that. Not real. When I thought everything is okay. When I start to feel happiness with him. When everything is ready.

Our wedding party.

Shattered.

Smashed.

Totally broke down.

If not for my family maybe I no longer here. My heart had been shattered into pieces. Crushed with sadness. I can’t even smile like before. I can’t anymore. That smile disappeared together with him. Why. Why in the world he choose to left me behind at time like this. He is gone. He is gone forever from my side. From us.

That dreadful accident.

Why. Why everyone that I loves leave me one by one. That car accident once again he left me in a car accident just like my real parents. That dreadful accident took him away from me. Forever.

I feels like screaming, scolding myself for having such a cruel fate. Am I not allowed to be happy. Am I a curse to my family that all people I loved died in a car accident. My tears had been dried from the amount of crying I’ve been doing after I heard that accident. I cried so much after the doctor tell us that he can’t save him.

Empty.

Thats what I felt right now.

It’s feels so empty without him. He that I loved. He that always been beside me. He the reason behind all my smile. He who taught me how to love. Now he is gone and never comeback again. God had been choose to took him away from us, forever.

Blanky I stared at the wedding dress hanging in my room. The dress I supposed to wear today. On our wedding day. Butnow that dress hanging just like that in my room untouched. I’m almost threw it at our furnace in the living room if not for Luhan oppa begging me not to do that. He kept on told me not to burn it since that dress chosen by Kris oppa. He who is gone and will never comeback ever.

My tears keep on flowing down everytime I remembered about him a few days since his dead. Even just looking at his photos on our family photos in the living room make my tears flowing down my cheeks. It’s really unfair. Everyone else can be happy with the one they love and get married but me. Our wedding preparation stopped in the middle. It will never happen so why bother to finished it. My wedding ceremony would never happen.

I lied down on my bed weakly. This place where we spend our nights together every night. Now there is no one who will fill the space beside me. That space is empty now, just like what my heart felt. I knew very well there is no use keep on crying over this matter. How much amount of tears would never bring him back to me.

Two months Kris oppa left us. Leaving this world forever, leaving me and my family behind. Took me a great effort to bring back my will to keep on going with living. All this while my family always by my side guiding me so that I won’t felt alone. I’m so thankdfull that they didn’t lose their hope for me. For a long thirty days I’ve been hiding in the shadow in my room. Locking myself inside and never going out even just a second. I didn’t have the courage to do so. I scared if I did I would break down again since there is so many memories of him in our house. I tried so hard to look at the bright side from his death. But am I at fault that I drown too much in his death. Am I really that pathetic.

The sun just rise from it’s hiding place. It’s light come inside my room from the gap between my curtain. Slowly I tried to open my eyes. The white color of my ceiling greet me. My alarm rang a few second later forced me to get up from my comfy bed. After putting off my alarm I walked to my bathroom and