Chapter 15

Really I didn’t know what I feel and what I want now. I just sitting quietly with my oppas in the living room after we had dinner. My mind keep on wondering around and it’s start to annoyed me. Why did I alwayas had to keep thinking. Can I have a piece for a while. Why do problems after problems come to me. I had enough of this . Please...leave me alone from all your problems okay. Don’t bring me along to suffer with you.

I’m not asking much. I had my own problems too. But when I start to solve one problem the other come to me and wont leave me. It’s like they stick around me. Why~~~

I stare blankly at my oppas. They sure had a happy time but why can I be like them. I was torn with my own feelings. I sighed loudly. I decided to go to my room, maybe I will just go sleep to wash away my misery. It’s not like my oppas will notice my absence right. I sneak out from the living room to my room.

Lying on my stomach on my comfy bed. It feels so good but why it can’t make my mind feels good too. I snugle at my pillow feeling it shooting my head a little. I feel my bed dipped down beside me. I groaned. Urgh.. why can you leave me alone oppa.

“You okay Aerin?” I heard his concerned voices. If I can I would shout out really loud to everyone so they know I’m really stressed out now. But I can’t. Sad right? So I just shooks my head in denying.

“Tell me what happen, I know you had something to tell us right?” yes oppa I had so much to tell you all especialy you Kris oppa. I turn my body around facing him.

“What is it baby girl?”

“I met unnie yesterday,” I can feel he tensed up upon hearing that. Ha..gotcha. now you can’t escape me.

“She told me what happen between you two. Oppa why did you do that? I thought--.”

“Our realtionship doesn’t meant to be forever Aerin. Not every relationship have a happy ending.”

“I know oppa it’s just..it’s so sudden don’t you think?”

“Maybe.”

“Do you still love her oppa?”

“I do but not the same like before. It’s different kind of love now.”

“So you can’t be together again?”

“Do you want me too?”

“I don’t know oppa. When I saw unnie crying I really want you two back together again. But if you can’t love her again it’s only means one side love and that even worse that breaking up. Loving people that can’t love them back is hurt.”

“Aerin is that what you feel now?”

Don’t know why suddenly my tears rolling down my cheeks. One side love, is that really what I feels now? Only me that had this kind of longing for him when he didn’t even know my feel. Kris oppa my head softly. How I wish I can tell him what I really feels.

“It’s okay cry if you want Aerin let it all out. Don’t hold it anymore. It’s okay oppa here with you,” he pull me to his embrace and hug me tightly. His warm just makes me cry even more. Knowing that I can just have it as a brother sister one not as a lover. It’s hurt really.

“Oppa~”

“Hmm.”

“Can you talk to unnie?”

“For what?”

“Just talk to her oppa. She needs you. At least talk to her as a friend don’t ignore her.”

“I just been busy lately that I don’t have time to talk to her. Maybe you right we need to talk about this matter again but I don’t know when I can do that Aerin.”

“At least try oppa. I know she is a strong girl but even the strongest people can be broken heart too.”

“You sounds like Suho.”

“I care about you oppa.”

“I know okay I promise I will talk to her but I can’t promise when it would be.”

“You really such a gentleman oppa.”

“Really?”

“No,” I stuck my tounge at him playfully. He just pinch my nose while smiling. Well I think it’s over now. At least he is willing to talk to her.

_================­_

I walk back from school alone again. Sigh. JJ had a date with that guy and Jaehun, well our house is on different direction. I walk pass the park don’t feels like wander around there so I just continue walking home. I reach home sort after and heading to my room.

“Dad... I can do this anymore,” I heard Kris oppa talking. Who is he talking to I wonder, so I walk quietly to him.

“But dad I really can’t do this anymore okay. I don’t feels the same again,” oh he is talking to appa over the phone. I just about to open my mouth  when-

“I can act like she is my sister anymore dad. I don’t feels the same I told you again. I can’t love her as my sister anymore, she is more than that dad.”

WHAT????

Kris oppa know about me being adopted? When did he know it? Wait what did he said just know, can’t love me as sister anymore? What is he meants by that. I watch in silent as he still continue talking on his phone. His expressions seems tensed, maybe appa scold him or anything I don’t know I can’t hear appa’s voices. I really wanted to walk away before he know I’m here but my foot doesn’t want to cooperated with me. I just stood there listening their conversations.

“Dad please, you know I loves her—” he raked his hand to his head. He seems frustated by what appa said to him.

“I can’t do that dad. Please just let me---”

I don’t know why suddenly my heart clenching and without my knowing tears start to rolling down my cheeks. What is this? Why am I crying. What did I cry for. Is it because the fact that he knew I’m adopted or is it because he said he didn’t love me as his sister anymore. So I’m no one for him now. Is that why he acting that way lately. Why why did all this happenning now.