It seems as If I going to write in this dairy from now on, so I might as well introduce myself. 

My name is Angie, Angie Park. I have a father and a older brother. My mother had died in a car accident when I was just a child. I don't really remember much about her, I won't lie. Her existence seemed like a dream. Sometimes it feels real and other times, it doesn't. Since, I'm probably going to die soon. I might as well say this to: I didn't feel anything when she died. It had felt like just another day. It might be because I don't remember much about her. I was just 5 years old! Even now, death seems just like a dream. A daze, a illusion. 

I was diagnosed with cancer a few days ago. It feels so surreal, though. Like a dream, a nightmare. But reality is reality. I dont realy feel so effected by it though. Kinda like the feeling something's going to happen, and you wait and wait but it never does? And then suddenly, one random day, BAM, it happens. 

So, like I was saying. I was diagnosed with cancer and the doctor told me to stay in the hospital. Stay in the hospital for what? To wait for someone to find the cure for cancer? What a joke. I was not going to live my last days in a prison like place. 

I want to sing. I can still sing and I was going to sing until I can't sing anymore.  I dont even care if I die on the stage I was singing on. I just want to sing. Like how someone has the love of their life? Singing was my love. 

I wanted to go back to work. To go back to the agency and sing on those big stages again. I argued with dad for one whole day just to let me go back to work. I had a new song I was working on, so my plan was to finish this song before I died. It was only after several hours of crying and not eating, did he allow me. What mattered now to him was my health. My actions were only destroying my health though. 

Dad finally agreed, and I was to go back to work today. He made all these precautions and these limits and stuff. -Sigh- 

I"m not THAT weak, in fact it doesnt even feel like I have cancer. I feel just like the usual me, except less hyper. Maybe all the medication the doctor made me take. All these with the big names... I can't seem to remember them. 

Dad even told my brother who was in college. Alex, my brother was going to come back from college. Pssh, why should he come back, anyways? I thought. I loved my brother, but if he came, it would surey be all tears. 

He has his ways for making me all soft. Okay, none of that. I get to back to the studio, and enjoy what I like doing. Music.

Besides, I heard of this new band, Boyfriend? This was going to be fun. They are rumored to be pretty boys afterall. Some pretty boys will cheer me up. 

Studio:

"Hey, please take care of me!" I bowed at the staff. They smiled and nodded at me. No one was asking why I wasn't at work for several days. 

I hope they dont treat me 'nice' because of my condition. But I asked my manager to keep it a secret, so he probably did. He always respected his client's wishes. 

I went to the recording room and said hello to the director. He waved and told me about the new group, 'Boyfriend'. They were in the recording room right now. I glanced through the glass and one of them caught my eye. It was a boy, taller than me but he didnt seem much older than me. His voice was high and cute. Typical. That's exactly what gets the girls going... 

I stared at him throughout the whole song. He might be young and childish looking, but he was really good looking. 

They came out of the recording room and one of them, Donghyun, was it? He recongized me. "Angie! Why are you here?" He asked, looking surprised. I laughed. "For my new song." I said simply. 

He nodded, looking happy to see me. The other members greeted me and introduced themselves. I could really care less, until the last one said his name. "I'm Minwoo." He said with a nice, bright smile. 

It was a nice smile. It was a smile that grabbed my attention. He had charisma, I thought. 

"I'm Angie" I said simply with a small smile. I hope I looked alright. Damn, did I just say that? How embarassing. Girls really do act differently in front of guys, especially cute ones. 

July 5, 2011.