~May, 2013~

 

 

I closed my eyes as I ran my fingers over the keys. That same comfortable feeling I get when near a piano. It felt like home. I took in a deep breath before I pressed the first note. I love the sound of it. I breathed out and continued playing the song. I closed my eyes and let the music flow from my piano and echo around the room. Other students were watching intently, all smiling as I was making very harmonious sounds with my fingers and the keys. Though I didn't really notice them watching me, the only person who I cared to let listen was the kid that made my heart rush and my head in a daze.

 

 I felt like I had to play for him, and only him. Like he was all that mattered to me. The song I was playing, it was for him, and only I would know that. Other kids might think that I'm just playing it for fun, but when I'm focused on playing, it means I'm putting my emotions into it. And all I felt at that moment, was love...

 

I ended the song with a mesmerizing finish, and all the other students applauded. The teacher looked at me approvingly, and I know I did my job. But not only that. In a way, I was kinda telling him that I still like him, as a reminder. 

 

As if on cue he came up next to me, looking as shy as always. 

 

"Sehun?" Jungkook got my attention rather effortlessly 

 

"Yes Jungkook?" 

 

"C-can you teach me how to play piano?" He had a hint of hope in his eyes. I looked at him slightly surprised, how could I say no. 

 

"Of course!" I smiled at him reassuringly and he smiled back his usual cute smile. Of course I would teach him, I would be more than happy to. 

 

"Come on, sit down!" I scooted over a bit and patted the spot right next to me to motion for him to sit. He did exactly that I looked at the piano curiously. 

 

"What song do you want me to teach you?" I asked him.

 

"The one you were just playing." He replied. 

 

I nodded my head and placed my finger over the first key, slightly touching it. 

 

"Here." I said simply and he moved his finger to the note I was just touching. He pressed it gently as it made a sound and he looked to me for reassurance. I smiled courtly and continued to teach him the rest of the song slowly. 

 

He was doing ok for his first time playing piano, though he did make minor mistakes. Every time he got the notes mixed up, I grabbed his smaller hand with my bigger one, and guided it slowly till it was hover above the right keys. His hands shook but I didn't know if it was out of nervousness or uncomfortableness. This went on till the class period ended and everyone had to pack up to leave for lunch. Jungkook and I stayed back a little more to put the piano and its stand away. 

 

"So how was that for your first lesson?" I asked him and he only smiled. 

 

"It was good, thank you for teaching me!" He smiled brightly. 

 

I smiled back, knowing that I did a good job at making him happy. 

 

 

~November 13, 2013~

 

My first year in High school ended quickly, and I am now in my second year. A lot has changed since then.

 

That memory was over five months ago. Now everything is different. We don't talk anymore let alone hang out, and we barely see each other. When we do, I just ignore him, like he was never in my life to begin with, like he does with me.

 

I hate how we ended up. I don't even know what we are anymore. 

 

Friends? 

 

Acquaintances?

 

No, no no. It's much worse than that. 

 

We are strangers...

 

Strangers with memories. I sometimes wish I could just forget about it. But with so much to remember, It's difficult to even try to pretend like he isn't there. I'm pretty sure he moved on already. But I haven't.

 

I still feel the same way. Even if it hurts, I miss him, and I want to be with him. But I wouldn't expect him to want to talk me now.

 

Besides, why would he want to be with a jerk like me? 

 

 

~July, 2013~

 

 

"Why did you do that?" I questioned Jungkook.

 

"Do what?" He responded with an attitude I've never seen him have before. 

 

"What were you mad at Sulli for?" I got louder. 

 

"Why do you care?" He glared at me angrily and folds his arms. I groaned out of annoyance. 

 

"Because she's crying, and nobody is there for her now!" 

 

"So! It's not your relationship?" Again he gives me an attitude.

 

"It's not yours either, but you just ignored her!" I snapped back. 

 

"Then why don't you go to her then?" He mocks. I'm fuming by this time now. 

 

"Maybe I should!" I say aloud almost to point of my fae turning red with anger.

 

"Fine!" He yells on the verge of tears.

 

"Fine!" 

 

He gives me a final look with a mixture of a anger and sadness, a single tear drops from the corner of his eye.

 

"I never want to see you again, Oh Sehun!" He hisses and let's the tears drip down endlessly. My heart shatters at those words and my world comes crashing down.

 

I was about to grab his wrist, but he ran away too fast for me to catch him. As he was running away, he was rubbing his eyes with his hands, and I watch as his retreating figure disappears.

 

"Ughhh!" I grunt loudly and hit the wall hard, leaving a red mark on the concrete wall and cuts on the skin of my knuckles. I want to cry, I wanted to let it all out. I have never wanted to cry so hard in my life, but I kept it all in. I had to be strong. I can't afford to be weak. Not when Sulli needed me.

 

 

~November 13, 2013~

 

 

If only I could tell him why I was defending her. It's not because I love her or anything romantic. It's just that, she's been sick for a while, two months to be exact, and she didn't tell anyone else but me. Tae didn't even know, she didn't want him to worry. Tae started to complain about how she would always say no to his planned dates and got angry about not seeing her. Jungkook took Taemin's side without asking Sulli why they weren't together. 

 

 I was about to tell Taemin, but she told me not to say anything to anyone, not even Jungkook. I promised her that I wouldn't, but quickly payed for the sudden consequence. 

 

It was my fault for getting mad at him in the first place. If only I kept my mouth shut I wouldn't be in this situation. But if I didn't, then who knows what would've happened. It could've been worse, or better. All I know is that I have trouble sleeping at night now and It's from the guilt that's been there for how long. 

 

Sulli is much better now, and her and Tae made up. I'm extremely happy for the both of them, but I still curse how their relationship survived, and how mine ended without it ever starting. 

 

I want to apologize, I want to beg him to forgive me. I want him and everything about him. But I think that I lost the most important person of my life...

 

 

~November 26, 2013~

 

 

I don't want my friends to know what was happening between me and Jungkook. I guess it's because it's not their relationship, if you could even call it that. The only person who knows is Sulli. She thinks it's her fault that Jungkook and I don't talk anymore, but I always assure her that it isn't. 

 

I walk down the halls with my hands in my pockets and my bag slung over my shoulder. With me head facing down at an angle, I avoid the gazes of other people. I look up as I hear my name being called out. 

 

"Sehun!" My new friend, Suzy, is running down the hall swiftly, and as she comes close to me, she latches her arms around me and hugs tightly. 

 

"You're choking me you know that right?!" I barely speak from the lack of oxygen. Suzy giggles and hugs me even tighter.

 

"Y-you are really stronger than you look!" She let's go, finally allowing me to breath.

 

"Of course I am!" She pulls up her right sleeve and flexes her arm as if she has muscles. 

 

I laugh at her silliness and shake my head.

 

"Whatever you say!" I hug her this time, way more gentle than she did, and she hugs back. I lift her off the ground a little bit and twirl around while her legs lazily fly. 

 

"Ow! Put me down you pabo!" She laughs at me and I let her down gently. 

 

"Sorry!" I apologize quickly. 

 

"Hey Sehun, that guy over there has been staring at us when we were hugging!" Suzy states. I open my eyes in shock. 

 

"What guy?!" I panic a little inside and turn around to look at this person. 

 

"Where is he?" I asked still confused. 

 

"Over there!" She points to a kid with messy black hair and an annoyed look on his face. I quickly recognize him.

 

"J-jungkook?" I whisper to myself quietly and I'm stuck in shock. 

 

Jungkook starts walking in our direction with his angry look and faces down at the ground. I watch him as he gets closer and closer until, 'Bump!' he hit my shoulder roughly, hard enough for it to hurt, and he walks passed us right after.

 

I grab my shoulder and massage it to relieve the pain. I watch his back as he stomps past other students. 

 

"What was that?" 

 

____________________

 

Ok so this is up to the present/recent date. And this is still happening. I'm getting really frustrated right now from his confusing attitude. It's just so ughh!!!! A little piece of advice, If you ever fall in love at a young age, it's gonna be a hell of a ride! (Just saying) 

 

so, 

TO BE CONTINUED