Eric lay there lethargically , no motivation to get up. His body ached . It had been two weeks and he had barely moved at all from his bed. His motivation was gone. Minwoo or Dongwan often coming by to make sure he doesn’t die from starving. Eric doesn’t care what happened to him. His memories were still haunted by Hyesung . And it would always be like that .

For two weeks , Eric had cried constantly , longing and wanting Hyesung. He wanted to turn back time . He wanted to return the past and erase his mistake to Hyesung. Anything to change the outcome of the story.

Eric bit his lips as he start to sobbing. It hurt so badly . He wished he could go back to the past and told Hyesung that he love him over and over again.

Eric feel like dying . He wasn’t being dramatic or depressed . It was just how he feel right now . Suffocated with his own feeling.

-

Let me apologize to begin with

Let me apologize for what I’m about to say

But trying to be genuine was harder than it seems

And somehow I got caught up in between

-

He hadn’t even bothered answering the phone or opened the door . Eric didn’t care . He moved one of his legs slightly before he get up from his bed completely . Hoping to normalized his circular blood in his immobile limbs. Hyesung was all he could think about . His shy smile , his delicate features , his cute expression and his pouty lips . But most of all , Eric remembered his crying face , which make his heart stabbed by a thousand needles all over again.

He almost choked as he tried to keep his sobs from rising from his throat. Everyone maybe know that he just take Hyesung for granted in order to catch Nam Hyunsoo but everyone never know that he was in love with Hyesung before he get the mission. The night when Hyesung suddenly run in front of him , when he almost knock him with his car . His heart were taken by Hyesung since that time.

But he acted like he was not and keep his feeling inside because the mission . He didn’t want to caught up between love and mission but he was failed miserably .

-

Let me apologize to begin with

Let me apologize for what I’m about to say

But trying to be someone else was harder than it seemed

And somehow I got caught up in between

-

People believe that Hyesung is just a tool for him to complete the mission . Just someone to use to get Hyunsoo . But for him Hyesung wasn’t just someone. He was Eric’s heart and soul . Eric want him so badly.

But in other hand he wished that he never meet Hyesung , so would never falling in love with him , then hurting him like what’d he done .

He wiped a few tears that fall from his eyes. He fell to the ground and curled himself into a ball doesn’t care when a wave of pain rising in his chest. Why did it have to hurt so badly ?

-

Between my pride and my promise

Between my lies and how the truth gets in the way

The things I want to say to you to get lost before they come

The only thing that’s worse than one is none

The only thing that’s worse than one is none

-

He heard his phone ring. He ignored it. There was no point to answer it.

The phone rang again and again .He still didn’t move. The space beside him was too empty after Hyesung left. And there is no way he could find someone like Hyesung again. He was the one and only.

The phone stopped ringing .

A knocked sounded on the door . Eric paid no attention to it as he had other things that disturbed him from his sorrow and guilt .

-

And I cannot explain to you

And anything I say or do or plan

Fear is not afraid of you

But guilt’s a language you can understand

I cannot explain to you

And anything I say or do or

I hope the actions speak the words they can

-

The knocking continued , drumming a continues pattern that at one time might