First I need to say sorry..this chapter (maybe the whole story idk.) totally and it's too short and everything. Okay, you can continue. ^^ You all can kill me freely..I think I deserve it now. xD

-JONGHYUNS POV-

Breathe in...breathe out, slowly until it continues automatically. Sometimes it hurts so badly even think about breathing, it gets nearly stressful. I wanted to tell at the moment. I just didn't. I know it sounds stupid, we've been friends for ages and he comes to me and wants me to tell. But I couldn't. Maybe he still hopes I won't bother him with my problems. I'm sure he has his own demons as we all have.

I'm numb. Numb because of too many confusing thoughts. It's like a spirit who comes when it wants, without caring the time or place. It surprises me everytime. How it changes me and leads me away. It takes usually days to come back from there when it takes just a second to get lost. It's not fair, nothing is.

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"Are you just lying to get more time to make new lies?" Onew asked bluntly, his head still leaning to my shoulder.

"I don't know yet," I laughed.

"I hope you will tell when you know...." Onew muttered. He sounded like he could fall asleep anytime.

"Are you gonna sleep?" I wanted to change the topic.

"Not for a long time, don't worry, you don't have to sit here and listen my snoring! I'll save you from it!" his eyes got a couple of small wrinkles when he smiled happily.

"What makes you think I won't leave you here?" I joked. *What you are not even joking you piece of . You are horrible friend and you will always be. Of course you will leave all of your friends no matter what the situation is. You are coward, idiot, useless, oh did I say useless yet...?* I wanted to hit myself with something. Needless to say I wanted to hit hard so I could lose consciousness. The black nothingness sounded so peaceful to my ears at that moment. 

"I'm not sure, maybe I have faith in you?" I took this more as a joke but who knows. Maybe he really had some hope that we don't need to have any secrets. I was just full of secrets, untold mysteries that I had forgotten and collected into me. If they ecpace..I'm not sure if there's nothing left. Why anyone would like to solve those hundreds of problems especially when the biggest problem is me.

"You shouldn't have," I said coldly after a while of silence.

"I know, you keep destroying it quite convincingly," he watched out of the small window next to us, his eyes kept following every single movement that happened outside the cafe. I was mute as usual.

"I guess we should leave," Onew stoop up from the seat.

"We..?" I was already tired, I didn't need anyone to take me to different places to be more social and outgoing and like that. That's me at the school..but I'm a whole new person if you would really know me.

"Yes, you're coming with me, you need to do something else than swim in a pool of self pity."

"You DON'T get it. I'm done with these people, done with this city and most of all done with this world, okay? So don't come to say what I need!" I hissed, trying not to punch him.

"We all are, you're just too sensitive and that's why it breaks you," what he thought he was. Some psychologist?

"If you're done with this city as well, why don't you leave then, you're free to go?" Onew had everything, good parents, he was smart and he had money, so why live in such a miserable city like this.

"You know I can't leave our group without any brains in it! But why don't YOU leave...you're not that smart...not that needed. Not that much anything." he laughed heartily.

 "I'm scared," I didn't want to tell it to him but something made me say it, someone else. I watched how his smile widened. Everything was suffocating, the whole cafe got darker and shadows where dancing on the walls and laughing at me. Pointing how stupid I need to be to believe that I actually had anyone to look after me. Then there was just pitch black darkness.

---------------------------------------------------

"Don't cry, it's gonna be okay!" I felt how I was being shaked.

"I- I'm not crying, what the hell you're doing?!" I pushed him away from me. I was shocked, we were still in the same coffee. The same place I was in the nightmare. 

"Calm down, you fell asleep. You haven't been sleeping well?" Onew asked  

"It's been quite hard when someone is always following me like some stalker but thank you for asking, I have" I said angrily.

"It doesn't seem like it," Onew stated simply and added a happy smile.

"Doesn't matter" 

"Yes it does."

"No it doesn't, can we please just stop I'm tired!" I yelled, getting a bad look from the cashier.

"You just slept...okay you win this round but only if you tell me why you are acting like this!" he said laughing like he would have won the world championship.

"It was just a nighmare, nothing spectacular," he was not supposed to know anything about me. Atleast nothing about the real me. He wouldn't want to know if he could first take a look what kind of monster lives behind all of this.

"Tell me anyway," his whining sounded so annoying at this point that I wanted to hit him, make him shut up and stop worrying over me. They didn't do it before and hey, I'm still a live so why now?

"Haha fine, okay we were here and then there was a monster that ate both of us, as I said..nothing special," I smiled even I know he's not gonna buy it.

"You were crying because of that?" Onew said seriously.

"I DIDN'T CRy you idiot.." I needed to stop yelling when the waiter gave us the look. That look meant literally: go to hell or I will make you go.

"If you don't tell me what's wrong...you might as well not talk to me at all, right?" Onew said, and surely he didn't smile anymore.

"That's ridiculous"

"Just as ridiculous as you!" 

The whole thing went so wrong....and I didn't have any plans to correct it actually. It's better that they know nothing.

//WHY DID I DO THIS AGAIN!!?!? I made them mad for each others...AGAIN...someone just kill me I can't do this anymore...:DD I'm ashamed to write this kind of chapters (and stories) that really . And this chapter is again too short but hey..I promise to try harder! I've been thinking about deleting this as well, I don't get the right feeling at all...:/ (You can mabe sense it as well..) My english is horrible and everything...blahh.. But don't worry I'll try and I really would like to write this because I love Jongyu and there's already seven (bad) chapters. Plus how else I can be a better writer if I don't write. :D!? Hehe.

AND HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

I start writing the next chapter right now for an apologize. :)