-JONGHYUNS POV-

The alarm clock rings, deleting the memories of the previous night. It disrupted my tired brain just in time before there would be enough space for unwanted thoughts. It was like running away in an endless  tunnel and the more you try to get rid of that feeling, the more tightly it clings to you.

At home there was no one else than me, maybe I should try to call to Key and tell him how sorry I am. That I didn't mean to be so ty friend yesterday. Well, I'm always, so what would it change? If I should choose now, I would go, I really would, but it's too late now, the mistake is already done. How many missteps I should take before I learn to walk on the right path. Did I even walk to the wrong direction or did someone push me into it? 

Silence hanging around me I made my way to kitchen. There's no dishes lying around or nothing like that, a typical kitchen, not too clean but not that dirty either. Everything was typical, and I was getting tired of it. I sat down on the edge of the table, trying to decide should I call or not. They had heard enough of his lies. Why they didn't say anything, those lies were sometimes so obvious that a small child could be able to see right through them. But no..so far, nothing. Just a sweet smiles and happy eyes that see me as a reliable friend. Why they can't tell how horrible person I am and how unfairly I treat them. It's always possible that they are talking behind my back, but I don't need it. I want them to say it straight to my face, maybe then I would learn.

Swinging my legs back and forth just above the floor I made a call to Key. 

I waited a couple of long minutes, while giving wishes that he's going to answer soon. Unsuccessfully.

Things I feared the most and wanted as well. Those visions are coming true. The small fear and anxiety took more room inside of me and messing everything, turning things upside down. The truth becoming a lie and vice versa. Althought I was hoping for this, I wanted them to see my lies. It's still a different matter when it actually happens.

Hastily I choce to call to Onew. To my surprise, he answered almost immediately.

"Hi, it's Jonghyun," I tried to sound like any other days, as I wouldn't care if they are disappointed in me.

"I know it's you, who else it would be?" his laughter bubbled. 

The energy of others laugh makes me always better. I feed my mind with others happiness and pretend it's me who is laughing and having such a fun time. But things you fake won't last long, the longer you pretend the more you need it to fulfill the missing part of you. Until nothing is enough and you need a new source to achieve what you long for. And those sources may be hard to find.

"I really don't know," my tensed laughter didn't help at all.

"Jonghyun...tell me, why did you call?" I can see him still smiling, as he did almost all the time.

"Well..I tried to call to Key but I didn't reach him. Do you happen to know is he.."

Before I got to the end Onew's voice interrupted my sentence.

"He's not angry to you Jonghyun, if you are wondering it. None of us is mad at you." 

Did he just read my mind or..what. I swallowed the bad feeling back to my stomach.

"I'm not thinking that, I was trying to ask do you know where he is right now?" lies, lies, lies.

"Just saying that you know," some part of me was telling me that he knew, but it's not possible. How he could, I was just being paranoid.

"Well, see you tomorrow," I couldn't get over my pride and mostly I wanted out of the situation.

"Actually, would you like to come over and spend time with your bored friend?" Onew's question was ignored by me for a while when I tried to make some stupid excuses inside my head. But nothing came to my mind and I gave up.

"Are you sure your parents are okay with it?" I asked, that was my last desperate attempt.

"Sure, they think you are such a well-behaved friend!" his laughter didn't stop for a moment.

"Okay then, we'll see soon." Just a sigh before I hung up the phone.

I was scared that he knew something more than he should. I couldn't do much more than make my way to his house. It's the least I can do for an apology.

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I still have to check the grammar but hope this story will improve in the future! :)