“Yoona, there you are,” Yuri said as she made her way through the growing crowd.

                “Oh my God, I’m so glad you’re here,” Yoona said. “Thank you for coming. I’m a nervous wreck.”

                Yuri frowned. “Yoong, there’s no reason for you to be so worked up over this. It’s a party loosen up. Have some fun. Come on, let’s go get drink.”

                Yoona let Yuri lead her over the bar, but when they got there Yoona ordered water. Yuri raised an eyebrow and Yoona sighed.

                “I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow,” Yoona whispered. “Don’t you dare say a word to anyone, okay? I haven’t told anyone I even suspect I might be pregnant. I took one of those damn pregnancy tests and it was inconclusive but I haven’t had my period yet and I’m sure I’m late. So, until I know, I don’t want to drink anything.”He’d left for work this morning before she’d awakened. She’d overslept—another reason she suspected she was pregnant. She was so tired that some days it was all she could do to remain upright. Twice she’d succumbed to the urge to take a nap simply because she would have lapsed into unconsciousness otherwise.

                “What time is your appointment?” Yuri demanded.

                “Ten in the morning.”

                “Okay, then there’s what’s going to happen. The girls and I would be at Soshi Café and you’re going to come straight over for lunch after your appointment so you can tell us the news one way or another.”

                Yoona nodded. “Okay, I need the support regardless of the outcome. I’m kind of undecided about this whole thing.”

                Yuri blinked in surprise. “You mean you aren’t sure you want to be pregnant?”

                “Yes. No. Maybe. I don’t know,” she said miserably.

                “Yoong, what’s wrong with you lately?”

                Yoona bit her lip in consternation as she saw Siwon making his way toward her. “Look, I can’t talk about it now. I’ll see you at lunch tomorrow after my appointment. And don’t breathe a word! I haven’t told anyone. Not even Siwon.”

                Yuri looked at her oddly but went silent as Siwon approached.

                “There you are,” Siwon said when he got to the two women. “If you don’t mind, Yuri, I’m going to steal my wife for a bit. There are some people I want her to meet.”

                Yuri leaned forward to kiss Yoona’s cheek. “See you tomorrow, “ she whispered softly. “Take care of yourself.”

                Yoona smiled her thanks and allowed Siwon to lead her way.

***

Siwon woke Yoona the next morning long enough to ascertain how she was feeling. Yoona assured him she was fine even though her stomach still churned and upset. In truth, she just wanted him gone. The last thing she wanted was a set of eyes on her when she was on the verge of cracking.

After he left for work, she shuffled into the shower and stood for a long time underneath the heated spray. Afterward she did not linger in the bathroom long.

She was in turns scared and dismayed over the prospect of pregnancy. At times she firmly hoped she wasn’t expecting. Others, she held it secret, ridiculous hope that a pregnancy would…what? She laughed helplessly at just how naïve she was. Even as she knew a child would in no way fix a doomed relationship, there was a part of her that wondered if Siwon would grow to love the mother of his child.

She ate a light breakfast to settle her stomach. She couldn’t be entirely certain if her queasy morning stomach was due to pregnancy or her rather fragile emotional state of late. Or maybe subconsciously she wanted to be pregnant and so had convinced herself of the possibility. Weren’t there women who had false pregnancies?

Her nervousness grew as she got into the car to go to the doctor’s office. The only person what she was doing today was Yuri. And well, the girls would know as well, but she was counting on them to get her through either scenario. Pregnant or not pregnant.

At the clinic, she filled out the paperwork and waited impatiently for the nurse to call her back. After answering a myriad of questions, she was asked to pee in a cup. They drew blood and then she was asked to wait in the reception area.

For twenty of the longest minutes of her life she fidgeted. She flipped through a magazine. Finally she got up to pace as she took in the other women in various stages of pregnancy.

Finally the nurse called her back. Yoona hurried toward the door and was escorted to a private sitting area outside one of the exam rooms.

“Well? She blurted, unable to remain silent a moment longer.

The nurse smiled. “You’re pregnant Mrs. Choi. Judging by when you say your last period was, I’d say maybe six weeks at most. But we’ll schedule a sonogram so we can better determine dates.”

Yoona’s stomach bottomed out. She broke out in a cold sweat and her head began pounding until her vision was blurred.

“Are you all right?” the nurse asked gently.

Yoona swallowed rapidly and nodded. “I’m fine. Just a little shocked. I mean, I suspected but maybe secretly I didn’t really believe I was.”

The nurse gave her a sympathetic look. “It takes time to adjust. It can be a little overwhelming at first. The important thing is for you to rest, take it easy. Take a little time to let it sink in. We’re doing lab work and will check your HCG levels to make sure they’re in an appropriate range. If there’s any cause for concern, we’ll call you. Otherwise, set up an appointment with the receptionist on your way out for your first visit to the doctor. We’ll do your sonogram then.”

Yoona walked out of the clinic a little—okay, a lot—numb. Again, it wasn’t a huge shock. She and Siwon hadn’t done anything to prevent pregnancy at all. In fact they’d openly embraced the idea—at her instigation—but now she wondered if he  was even as open to the idea as he’d let on. How could she be sure he hadn’t said whatever was necessary to get her to marry her?

turned sown in an unhappy frown as she laid her head back against the seat of the car.