Because life is unfair and the most unfair thing in life is the way it ends.

He kept on running and running. Running away from people, running away from the reality, running away from everything.

Maybe because it was the way he figured everything out or perhaps it was too real to feel that Junmyun was the one sending those encouraging-notes-at-first going all-romantic-and-rainbow-notes in the end. Or probably because the older one was always too kind and too sweet for his own good, taking such a good care of him since forever so this came out unbelievable and shocking for him.

There was never a sign that Baekhyun could truly feel Junmyun loved him that much but Baekhyun knew he was too stupid and too slow to get the signals and this was frustrating.

He tried to run away from Junmyun the whole time because he felt that he couldn't stay there and pretend nothing makes his heart skip a beat,  butterflies forming in his stomach whenever he was seeing Junmyun.

He could admit easily that he always wanted to hug Junmyun for more than just seconds. To kiss him freely without him feeling awkward or creepy. To hold his hand without getting embarrassed but little did he know that Junmyun was feeling the exact same way. Maybe the way he behaved wouldn't make it obvious like he had a crush on him and mostly looking like an older brother protecting the younger one, however, that was the part where fooled Baekhyun.

Baekhyun silently entered the dorm, praying to heavens that the rest are asleep. He wasn't in mood to meet anyone of them but to his dismay Yixing approached him as soon as he was passing the living room.

He blocked Baekhyun by standing right in front of him with a worried look. Kyungsoo joined the two, standing near Baekhyun but not too close. There was still a distance between them.

"Please! I don't feel well!" Baekhyun rubbed his forehead. "I'm tired of everything."

"Just tell us he explained everything to you?" Yixing asked, carefully placing his hand on Baekhyun's shoulder.

"Explaining what? That he is my stalker? That he uploaded that picture of us?"

"He- . . . he told you so?" Yixing raised an eyebrow, surprised by what Baekhyun was uttering. He doubt that Junmyun would do such a thing. He knew Junmyun was careful. Well, maybe not every careful.

"Well . . . " Baekhyun turned his head away, trying to pass Yixing but Kyungsoo grabbed his arm. "Please!" He said in a demanding tone. "I have had it enough!"

"I'm- . . . really sorry! For everything." Kyungsoo said with a guilty face. Baekhyun slowly pulled his arm away without looking at Kyungsoo, feeling ashamed.

He came inside of his room, taking his jacket off. The terrible lump in his throat exploded once he laid down on his bed, crying his heart out silently. He had no control over his emotions anymore, the tears were coming out, wetting the pillow.

He tried to hide his face once he saw someone coming inside of his room but he was late, Yixing saw everything.

He sat on the bed, trying to comfort Baekhyun, rubbing his back gently, patiently waiting for him to talk or say something. This way Baekhyun would at least feel better.

"I can't believe he did this to me. There were hundrad ways of proving his love to me!" Baekhyun shut his eyes, wiping the tears on his face.

"I'm sure he had his own reasons!" Yixing sighed. "Kyungsoo and I somehow are to blame too." He paused.

"When I first saw Junmyun Hyung, he was talking with a trainee. I heard him talking about you, well, since I have seen you twice before that. He was like a worried Mother asking how you are, what you are doing and once I reaasured him, he gave me a note, asking me to stick it on your locker.. I- . . . just couldn't reject his request so I did what he asked me. Not once ans twice. It happened again and again even though I knew you were confused and all." Yixing sighed again, looking at Baekhyun with a regretful face.

"You decided to let me struggle the whole time!"

"I know! That's why I rejected him right after we debuted. I was already feeling guilty." Yixing faced Baekhyun with an apologetic look. "Kyungsoo caught him once we moved in this dorm. Junmyun was afraid and begged him not to tell you anything . . . until he himself let you know eventually! It was his wish to tell you once the timing was good enough!"

"Seems like everyone knew everything but me!"

"We . . . are really sorry for everything! Lately . . . we both were very stressed out. Kyungsoo and Junmyun had many argues. He told me he couldn't handle this anymore, seeing how emotionally tiring it was for you. It pushed everything to the way they are now and he feels terrible for everything and blames things on himself."

"I- . . . I screamed at him, pushed him and didn't even let him explain anything." Baekhyun started to sob again, feeling miserable. Yixing was speechless, only listening.

"I don't know what to do . . . I screwed up big time!" Yixing shook his head, coming closer to hug Baekhyun, tightly.

~*~*~*~*~*~

"He knows everything now!" Said a voice after Jongdae picked up his phone, groaning. It was 4 in the morning.

"What?" Jongdae asked immediately. "What's happened? Hello? Junmyun? Junmyun?" Jongdae called him over the phone but only the call was hug up.

He quickly got up, putting his glasses on. He tried to get ready as fast as possible. From his house to Junmyun's apartment was 7 minutes by car. He grabbed his father's car keys, leaving the house hurriedly.

Once he arrived at the place, he carefully entered the pass number on the security code. He had seen Junmyun opening the apartment with this code.

The door opened and Jongdae stepped inside but he was taken aback by the figure laying on the floor. He quickly pulled Junmyun, seeing his pale face.

"What's . . . what's going on? Talk to me!" He grabbed Junmyun's face with his hands. "Talk to me!"

"Baekhyun- . . .

"What? Baekhyun what?"

"He . . . knows everything!" Junmyun looked dead pale and this was making Jongdae scared. He wrapped his arm around Junmyun's back, helping him to stand up. His body was so weak for that so Jongdae tried to carry him, holding his weight on his own body.

He put Junmyun on his bed, checking his forehead for a possible fever. It was hot. "Goodness!" He gasped.

He ran into the bathroom, putting a towel on a sink, turning on the cold water and quickly went back to the room putting it on Junmyun's forehead but Junmyun pushed his hand. "I'm- . . . ok."

"What? You are having a high fever. Let me help you!" He said, stopping Junmyun from getting up but Junmyun struggled, using his remaining energy to fight back. "God dammit! You are getting stubborn again!"

He stopped once he saw Junmyun weakly leaning on him. He held him for a moment before pushing Junmyun back on bed slowly. "Let me help you, Junmyun." He put the already wet towel on his forehead again. This time Junmyun didn't stop him and just laid there.

Jongdae picked up the towel again, putting it on the bowl filled with cold water, soaking it well enough and then put it back on Junmyun's forehead.

He used another towel to wash his neck but the sudden touch made Junmyun jerk suddenly, whimpering. Jongdae grabbed his hands, his grip not too tight to make him uncomfortable and continued washing his neck to lower his body temperature.

This went on for twenty more minutes until he successfully reduced the fever while checking Junmyun's tempeture by holding his wrist.

He sighed out of relief, putting the towls back on the bowl. He tried to call Junmyun, lightly touching his arm. Junmyun opened his eyes slowly, his body was still shaking visibly.

"I was just kidding about that "living until 30." Are you trying to prove me wrong?" Jongdae smiled, gesturing at Junmyun, making him smile even if he felt uneasy doing so.

"I asked you to take care of yourself! Why don't you ever listen to me! Huh?" Jongdae pouted, rubbing his hand on Junmyun's belly. "Do you need me to hire a nanny?" Junmyun weakly raised his arm in an attempt to hit Jongdae but he was fast to grab his hand, linking his fingers with his own.

There was a long silent and Jongdae was only looking at Junmyun's eyes getting closed and opened from time to time. His breath was steady.

"Is it worthy, Junmyun-ah?" Jongdae asked softly. "Is he worthy . . . to the point your health is in danger? And to think that he knows absulotely nothing about the things you have been through . . . This makes me feeling mad!"

Junmyun's eyes were closed but Jongdae knew he was listening. "Why are you so cruel to yourself?" Jongdae sighed, covering Junmyun's body with the bedsheet.

"Tell me . . . Tell me he didn't shout at you once he heard it? Tell me he didn't push you? Tell me he didn't stab you in the heart?" Jongdae nervously bit his lip, waiting for an answer.

"I'm the one who stabbed him in the heart!" Junmyun opened his eyes, looking lifeless. "I sent him random notes that only stalker or obsessed people would do. I- . . . played with his feelings even though I knew how sensitive he is." Junmyun paused, wetting his already dried lip. "I forced his team-mates to help me even though they had nothing to do with this. I betrayed our friendship, I ruined everything." Junmyun sighed, looking away from the curious look on Jongdae's face. "I deserved it."

"No! You don't. No one does. No one should go through what you have been to! Sure, you hurt his feelings. You hurt his pride and you damaged the friendship between you two but need I say what his fans did to you?"

"He has nothing to do with how the fans behaved! In his eyes, I'm just a stalker like some of his fans! A disgusting one-

"Really now? Did you shove him while waiting for a freaking signature with the lens all over his face? Did you traumatized him by pushing him from the nine bloody stairs? Did you put his life in danger or try to take his life, really?" Jongdae turned his face, disappointed. "How can he even get a bit angry while his fans did way worse things to you? Ugh"

"He has all the rights to get angry at me!"

"Well . . . Ok! Sure. But I, as your friend, have every right to shout what these goddamn fans did to you at his face! Till he feels guilty as much as you! Till he feels ashamed as much as you-

"Please! Don't you . . .  dare saying a thing to him!"

"And why is that? Why is it ok that you should be worried about him all the freaking time? Why is that you should take all the blames on yourself ? This is not ok! Not one bit. And if . . . .  he has any consideration he would beg to differ as well!"

Junmyun tried to get up, not wanting to hear anything more. He stood up, putting his hand on the wall for the support. Jongdae was only staring at him, shaking his head. "Your logic is really something!" He said, trying to help Junmyun.

"I'm supposed to be heart-broken and all you do is making it worse!" Junmyun said, slightly shoving Jongdae hand.

"I'm just trying to show you where you are doing things wrong!" He put his hand around Junmyun's waist, making him go back to his bed.

~*~*~*~*~

Life goes on.

Baekhyun tried to stay sane by keeping himself busy with practices, performances here and there and so on but there wasn't one day that he didn't stop thinking about the whole thing.

The scene of pushing Junmyun and being close to kiss those lips of him was haunting him even in his dreams. He would wake up in the middle of night with sweat all over his face. He would then look for that box, putting it on his bed and reading the notes while imagining the words to come out from Junmyun's mouth. He could only wish.

The part that he was confused about and couldn't seem to figure out was that he wasn't even sure if he was mad at Junmyun or at himself. He was betrayed, he was heart-broken but no matter how much he tried to deny, his feelings, his pure feelings for Junmyun were still there and it . It that he was suffering even more than before and he was afraid. He was afraid of allowing what his heart wanted since he knew his mind might easily give up.


Neither Yixing nor Kyungsoo tried to bring up the subject again, deciding to only keep an eye on Baekhyun while Sehun and Jongin somehow have got that idea that something changed between Baekhyun and Junmyun but they weren't that brave to ask anything.

The company denied all the "gay rumors" suing the blogger who spreaded these rumors.

Pretty much some fans weren't going to believe SM anyway. Some were even supportive, calling them "cute" and shipping the two while others were like "whatever" continuing to cheer for the Due.

Junmyun's situation wasn't any better. He could barely eat anything and when he did it was by force because Jongdae getting mad was that scary! He had difficulties to sleep as well, sometimes jerking up at nights. Baekhyun's screams were still in his ears. Baekhyun's wet eyes were still right in front of his eyes.


Despite things going on like this . . . None of them wanted to be the first to step in. One was too ashamed and other one was too afraid.

Two weeks after that incident, Junmyun was starting to see into things. It wasn't like he expected Baekhyun to appear casually, telling him he has fogiven him or something and it wasn't like he didn't expect things to get as awkward as they would be. That was what he feared the most. And he was right about it all from the beginning.

"I'm going to the US next week!" Junmyun said, over the phone.

"Are you trying to run away, Junmyun?" Jongdae asked in reply.

"There is nothing to run away! I told you . . . once I get rejected, there is nothing to keep me staying here anymore."

"I see . . . Have you thought about seeing him for the last time?"

"No. And I don't want-

"Wait . . . Your love for Baekhyun was this much? You could at least explain your intentions"

"Well, I'm sorry if I wouldn't go after him like one of those couples you see in the movies, kneeling down and all!"

"Uhhh! Then he would accept you and you two going for the hot kisses! Just like those movies!" Jongdae was only jokking but there came a pause. Junmyun sighed.

"I need to pack some stuff while I'm free." He said, eventually ending the call.

[A/N] Shall I go with the separation or happy ending? OTL