I remember when I went to primary school,my teacher would sometimes tell us to think about our future and if we would have a family or live in a big house, but one day, my teacher asked me what would my life be like if I wasn't the way I was. At the time I didn't think anything of it and answered the question, but when I got home and told noona what the teacher asked me, she got mad and told my parents to talk to the school.

I dont know why noona did that…

I still think of my answer all the time, like now.

If I wasn't mentally a child my life would be different. I'm not sure if I would be happy or if I would be sad or if I would be the same, but I think I would be able to do more and I would have more friends who would want to hang out with me. I would probably still be an idol, but I wouldn't have to hide a secret from fans or the rest of the company, I could be my normal self. Baro would probably like sharing a room with me and we could talk about what we used to do before becoming idols and stuff about our childhood. My childhood would have been a different story to tell, but I'm not sure if it would be good or bad or the same. I might have a girlfriend or a boyfriend, it wouldn't really matter to me as long as that person loved me... and I loved them. I would be happy that people trust me more with stuff and not try to baby me. I could talk with people and not be confused with what their saying, I would be able to look people in the eyes and talk to them. I would be able to live a normal life, without taking any special medication or visiting the doctor so they can look at my brain or body. I could do interviews without messing up and making the other members mad, like Baro hyung. I would call people the right names and know that they are older or younger than me, not just by the brain. I would have a family I could call my own and started myself, me and my loved one. I would want all of those things, but then I wouldn't really be me would I? Would I still be the same Sandeul? I told my teacher that and she looked at me with this weird look she then said it was a look of confusion. She said I would want all of that, but at the same time I wouldn't because I wouldn’t be me. She then told me that I was scared to be like a normal person so I rather stay the way I am…

I think what she was saying was true, but I don't think I would ever know for sure, you know? For now and the rest of my life, I'm happy with just being the Sandeul I am, I’m happy I can have a family with B1A4, B1A4 is my family, even though I didn't start it myself and was the last to join, I am happy with them and they say they're happy with me. I love them and I wouldn't want any of that to change.

My teacher asked me another question that was also silly, she asked me if I had one wish that would come true what would it be? And I said I would wish to keep being the Sandeul I am because this Sandeul doesn't have to worry about getting hurt, he just goes through things happy and positive and that’s all a person should want. That’s what my noona said anyway.

Now, if I had one wish that would come true, I would wish to keep being the Sandeul that I am with B1A4 and be happy and positive until the day I die. When I told this to Jinyoung and the rest of B1A4 on our Saturday night talks group talks, Jinyoung cried for some reason and gave me a hug and I liked it so I hugged him back and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

Why would I want anything to change when I have all I want right here?

“Uh... is he okay, Jinyoung hyung?” Baro asked, CNU and Gongchan joined him shortly after.

Jinyoung turned away from the window sill where he was watching Sandeul out on the patio picking flower petals and watching them fly away in the wind. “Yeah he’s fine.” He answered shortly then returned to watching Sandeul with a small but noticeable smile on his face.

Baro’s eyes went wide. “Uh... are you okay hyung?”

CNU gripped Baro’s shoulder and dragged him away. “He’s fine let’s let them be.” CNU said as he was dragging him outside the dorm. “Lets pick up some lunch. We debut tomorrow!”

Gongchan was left next to Jinyoung, but he didn't make a sound, he just smiled at the two and left silently to his room.

Jinyoung continued observing Sandeul who was now resting his head on his palm with his elbow propped on the railing of the patio. “I wouldn't want anything to change either Sandeul…”

~A/N~

This is just a random chapter I found saved on my computer and I thought it would be good to place here before the chapter about their debut which is the next one ^^ spoiler~ Well hoped you enjoyed it. I don't know why but I smile everytime I read this, it’s just something about the way Sandeul thinks (he’s so innocent!) and that little slice or bromance? Kyaaaa~ OTL.

Have a nice day<3