It was a bit hard for him to breathe. Feeling a sudden tension on the center of his chest, right above his heart, he opened his eyes in discontent. He tried to stir his body to one side of the body, but he was paralyzed. He couldn’t move, not when his body was secured in Kyuhyun’s hold.

Kyuhyun had his head resting on his chest as if he fell asleep while listening to Eunhyuk’s heartbeat which also could be his morning alarm because now, it was rushing, beating too fast for its own good. His hand was lingered on Eunhyuk’s waist while their legs tangled together.

Kyuhyun’s hair felt ticklish as it brushed to the smaller man’s skin when he unconsciously stirred his body so now Kyuhyun’s face was only an inch from his own. It took him will power not to caress his loved one’s face, tracing his fingers to his disheveled hair, down to his lidded eyes and his pointy nose before it traced his gaunt cheeks and his lips. No… I won’t disturb his sleep… Eunhyuk hollered inside his mind when his inner slowly giving up restraining his hand on its place.

He scooted closer to the sleeping man, nuzzling his nose to the taller man’s neck before closing his eyes once more, paying no heed to the bright sun that could be seen from the gap of the curtains. If this what he get when he fall asleep, being secure in Kyuhyun’s arms… He was fine with being asleep forever.

***

It was hours later when he opened his lidded eyes once more, cold enveloped his thin body as he came to realization that Kyuhyun wasn’t there with him in their bed. He was wrapped by a thick blanket yet it was nothing compared to the warmth that Kyuhyun’s body provided. He wanted Kyuhyun to hold him like before.

 Nausea… He gritted his teeth as he started to feel an unpleasant nausea. It was always unpleasant to wake up in a ship. It wasn’t the first time he went on a cruise ship but he still couldn’t get rid of the nausea that he always got in the mornings. “Drink your tea, Hyukjae.” His body jolted when he heard Kyuhyun’s voice from his side and found the taller man was sitting on the couch while his hand went busy preparing some tea on the coffee table.

He joined Eunhyuk on the bed with a cup of tea in hand, sitting on the edge of the mattress beside his spouse’s figure as he handed him the hot beverages. “It’ll get rid of the nausea… Now, drink.” He said when Eunhyuk refused to drink the tea after one sip due to its bitterness. My bossy and controlling Kyuhyun is back… Eunhyuk thought as his inner smiled in relieve.

Looking at Kyuhyun’s damp hair and his neat clothes, Eunhyuk concluded that Kyuhyun had taken his bath while he was sleeping. “You want to eat something?” Kyuhyun asked while Eunhyuk on the other side only shook his head slowly. “You should eat…” He continued as he took a plate of strawberry and cream cheese French toast.

“But I’m not hungry…” Eunhyuk murmured as he sipped his bitter beverages but Kyuhyun paid him no heed as he settled beside him once again.

“We’ll share a plate, okay? You’ll get better once you fill your stomach with food.” He continued as he started to cut the toast into slices. Kyuhyun took one slice with the fork before he brought it near Eunhyuk’s lips while the smaller man sighed in defeated as he ate his sweet breakfast.

Kyuhyun was going to feed him with another big slice of the toast while Eunhyuk quickly shook his head, refusing to open his mouth once again. “You said we’ll share the food.” Eunhyuk said and a pout was visible on his face while Kyuhyun chuckled as he put the big slice back on the plate before he fed himself with the smallest slice of the toast.

“Cheater…” Eunhyuk said grumpily, earning a small yet earnest laugh from the taller male. Deep inside, Eunhyuk was glad that Kyuhyun was in a better mood.

***

It was supposed to be a lazy day so Eunhyuk chose to dress with his casual clothes. He put on his white short and tight sleeved shirt and wore his beige pants as he dried his damp hair, he saw Kyuhyun was already dressed in a neat white shirt with his long sleeve folded to his elbow as he hooked a suspender to his black pants. So simple yet he managed to look stunning with it.

“Ready?” Kyuhyun asked and Eunhyuk saw him took out a small book from his luggage, he nodded afterwards. Like Eunhyuk said before, it was suppose to be a free time for them so Kyuhyun took him to the main deck to spend it rather only wondering around the ship.

The sky was a bit cloudy but still sunny with no sign of rain at all. The main deck was stuffed with wooden longue chair for those who seek for tanner skin while some of them were covered with a wide umbrella. Kyuhyun settled himself on one of the shady lounge chair while Eunhyuk rested his body beside the taller man since the longue chair could fit two people.

“You don’t want to sunbath?” Kyuhyun asked, looking at the other chairs that weren’t occupied. There weren’t a lot of people there.

“Dressed like this?” Eunhhyuk asked back, looking at the taller male.

“What’s wrong with it? Is looks fine for me.” He said.

“Fine if I want to have tanner face and arms only.” He said making the taller male chuckled. “What do you have there?” He asked as he eyed the book on Kyuhyun’s hand.

“A book…” Kyuhyun answered nosily, earning a snort from the smaller man. “It’s just novel.” He added as he scanned the pages that had a bookmark between it.

“Spanish?” Eunhyuk asked once he looked at it and saw the foreign language on the pages. “You can speak Spanish?” He asked one more time.

“My mother told me to learn about it. It’s quite handy, right?” Kyuhyun said and Eunhyuk nodded a bit. He did learn to speak English when he was younger but even after years of practice he was still a bit lacking on it.

“Read it for me…” Eunhyuk said and Kyuhyun hummed in return. He gestured Eunhyuk to scoot closer to him and once their arms brushed, Kyuhyun lingered his hand around Eunhyuk’s neck, letting Eunhyuk to use it as his pillow.

Kyuhyun timidly leaned his head on Kyuhyun’s crook and relaxed his thin body in the taller man’s hold. Kyuhyun started to read the book in Korean for the smaller man, his voice was low and soft while Eunhyuk closed his eyes, enjoying the story that Kyuhyun told him. It sounded like a fairy tale in his ear yet the story was nothing but wars and politics.

Kyuhyun’s heartbeats were even and slow, his breathing was unhurried, really calming. “His wife is pretty and delicate. She was the prettiest girl in the town in her maiden days and yet she chose to be faithful to such an ugly creature like him. She is faithful and affectionate, he couldn’t be more grateful.” Kyuhyun said before the silence enveloped them when Kyuhyun stopped reading.

“Why stopping?” Eunhyuk mumbled without gazing at his husband.

“It reminds me of someone.” Kyuhyun said and Eunhyuk curiously asked him whom he had in mind. “You…” He answered and his cheeks’ color turned fifty shades of red.

“Rag all you want…” Eunhyuk mumbled in shyness. “Keep reading.” He ordered while Kyuhyun only chuckled as he scanned his eyes back on the paper and continued his reading. It was after a while, the light breeze lulled him to his slumber while Kyuhyun on the other hand, held him even tighter as he heard Eunhyuk’s little snores.

***

Eunhyuk snapped his eyes open when he felt a strong grip on to find Kyuhyun groaning in his slumber, eyes lidded and frown was formed in his temple. What happened? Eunhyuk asked as Kyuhyun groaned once more, this time Eunhyuk’s arm slipped from his grip.

His face was drenched in sweat and his body trembled a bit. Bad dream? Eunhyuk thought but even when he shook the taller man’s body, Kyuhyun didn’t show any sign of being awakened. Eunhyuk was worried. Kyuhyun looked like he was in pain. It hurt him to see the strong man that he knew became weak and powerless.

Eunhyuk used his palm to wipe the sweats on Kyuhyun’s face before he drew himself in Kyuhyun’s hold, burying his face on Kyuhyun’s chest. They were on a deck where people could freely see them but Eunhyuk paid no heed. It was fine as long as Kyuhyun was okay. Kyuhyun’s hold on his body was strong. It could break bones but Eunhyuk didn’t care even when it became hard for him to breathe in Kyuhyun’s hold.

“You’re okay…” He whispered continuously as he planted kisses on Kyuhyun’s chest, above his heart when Eunhyuk could feel his frantic heartbeat. “Wake up… It’s just a dream…” Eunhyuk mumbled as he heard Kyuhyun growled near his ear.

Eunhyuk didn’t realize that he wetted Kyuhyun’s shirt with his tears. He was worried and scared… Anxious and clueless… He was lost. “Please stop…” Eunhyuk sobbed as Kyuhyun’s body trembled but Kyuhyun didn’t open his eyes at all. His breathing started to become even and his mouth stopped producing a groan. He stopped.

Oh Kyuhyun… What happened to you? Eunhyuk’s inner screamed in confusion as he freed himself from Kyuhyun and took his time staring at the love of his life. Behind that mature gallant young man, hid a little fragile boy.

***

It was almost lunch time when Kyuhyun opened his eyes while Eunhyuk on the other hand was resting beside him. It had been hours since Eunhyuk comforted Kyuhyun in his slumber and he couldn’t close his eyes at all. His eyes were locked on the sleeping figure on his side, crying silently as he saw the peaceful face of his loved ones. When Kyuhyun opened his eyes, Eunhyuk turned his face away so Kyuhyun wouldn’t able to see his teary eyes.

Kyuhyun was back facing him as he sat on the edge of the chair. His hair was tousled but he didn’t give a heed about it. He probed his elbow with on his lap and buried his face on his palms, sighing tiredly as he took his own time.

Hyukjae drew his body up so now he was sitting behind Kyuhyun. His dubious hand made its way to Kyuhyun’s back caressing it softly before he rested his head there, the side of his head came in contact with Kyuhyun’s flexed back.

“I saw you… You were having bad dreams.” Eunhyuk mumbled, circling his hands around Kyuhyun’s waist and he could Kyuhyun’s body tensed a bit. “You were in pain, Kyuhyun.” He mumbled but Kyuhyun could hear him.

“I’m okay, Hyukjae.” Kyuhyun said, relaxing his body on Eunhyuk’s hold.

“You’re not.” And it took Eunhyuk a while to realize that he was crying again. Kyuhyun pulled himself away from Eunhyuk’s hold, turning his body only to see the sobbing man right in front of him. He smiled, it was weak, but he smiled genuinely at him. “It makes me scared. You scared me.” Eunhyuk sobbed, looking directly at Kyuhyun’s eyes. “Please tell me what’s wrong.”

Kyuhyun closed his eyes as he rested his forehead on Eunhyuk’s wider one. His fingers tangled itself to Hyukjae’s slender ones as his free hand moved to the back of Eunhyuk’s head, caressing Eunhyuk’s black locks.

“Believe me when I said I’m okay.” He said and Eunhyuk took his sweet time, closing his eyes as he enjoyed Kyuhyun’s soft touches.

“But-“

“Just believe me, Hyukjae.” Kyuhyun said, his voice was stern yet soft. A soft peck landed on the tip of Eunhyuk’s nose. “I am fine. Look at me.” The smaller man opened his eyes again, only to find Kyuhyun’s eyes searching for his. He wanted to believe him… But he couldn’t.

“Come, let’s go somewhere else.” The taller man said, pulling away his hands before he got up from the longue chair. Stretching his sore body a bit, Kyuhyun took his book while his free hand was offered to the smaller man.

“Come on.” He said and that one more time dazzling eyes appeared on his face while Eunhyuk found his hand moved itself, linking his fingers to Kyuhyun’s own.

***

They were eating their lunch, Kyuhyun was as usual, filling Eunhyuk’s plate with a generous amount of food while the smaller man would whine but finish it after a while. Except Eunhyuk’s constant whining, their lunch was wordless. Both were lost on their own thought.

It was when Eunhyuk digested his desert, the couple that they met by the day before, which was the captain’s parents, greeted them and joined them on their seats. Both Eunhyuk and Kyuhyun instantly showed them their best smiles.

The couple invited them to the ball room where a small get-together occasion was held for the first class guests. Eunhyuk was excited about the invitation because he had nothing to do to kill the time but he remembered Kyuhyun wasn’t really a fan of a party so he declined the invitation.

“My husband isn’t really a party person.” He said as he patted Kyuhyun’s lap and Kyuhyun smiled a bit as gratitude for Eunhyuk’s considerate answer. “So we’ll pass since I still want to have some quality time with this man.” Eunhyuk continued while Kyuhyun chuckled on the other hand.

“We’ll go.” Kyuhyun said clearly. “As much as I love to spend my time with you, I want you to have fun.” He continued, making the lady squealed at his gentle attitude while Eunhyuk blushed afterwards.

“It’s settled then.” The lady said and soon they found themselves in the ballroom of the cruise ship. The room was filled with some first class guests, all dressing in their casual attire, it was only a small gathering after all.

A group of violinists and cellists were playing a classical music and some couples were dancing by the center of the room. One of the waitresses was approaching them with a tray of champagnes and Kyuhyun took a glass of it before whispering something to the waitress.

“I want one too.” Eunhyuk said when the waitress left without giving him any chance to take his glass while Kyuhyun only chuckled on the other hand.

“You’re not going to drink this.” Kyuhyun said as he sipped his champagne and the waitress came back with a glass of cold water on his tray, handing it to Kyuhyun before the taller man handed it to his spouse.

“Drink that. You need fresh water.” Kyuhyun said.

“But I want some champagne.” Eunhyuk whined, refusing to take the plain beverage.

“No. You just eat, your body will need this. It’s for your own health.” Kyuhyun said and Eunhyuk sighed in defeated as he finished his fresh water.

“Happy?” He asked, sulking at his over controlling husband.

“Delightful.” Kyuhyun answered and his boyish grin appeared on his handsome face.

They took their time mingling with other couples when Eunhyuk’s attention landed on a little girl who was standing not far from them. He excused himself to approach the little girl and as he kneeled in front of her, she shyly bowed at him.

“What are you doing here, dear?” Eunhyuk asked when he saw the little girl playing with the hem of his dress.

“I want to dance like mama and papa.” She said, pointing at a couple who was dancing by the center of the ball. “But I have no partner.” A pout formed on her chubby face.

“Would you like to dance with me, then?” Eunhyuk grinned and the little girl beamed as she took Eunhyuk’s hand and dragged him to the dance floor.

Her name was Sunny and Eunhyuk thought her name fitted perfectly with his bubbly and jumpy personality. Eunhyuk let her stepped on his foot before he guided her in a dance. It was cute how the little girl always beamed in happiness when Eunhyuk turned her body and lifted her.

Sunny exclaimed happily when Eunhyuk swung her body while Eunhyuk smiled shyly when he locked his eyes with his husband’s. Kyuhyun was watching at him on corner of the dance floor, a smile was carved on his face.

After a while Eunhyuk guided Sunny out of the dance floor and knelled when the little girl asked him to. “Thank you so much, oppa!” She exclaimed and Eunhyuk smiled as he ruffled her hair, saying that he had a great time dancing with her. He earned a peck on his cheek as a reward.

“Someone turns out to be a good dancer.” He turned his attention to Kyuhyun who approach him as soon as Sunny ran to her parents.

“It’s just a dance.” Eunhyuk said shyly and his heart rushed once more when Kyuhyun extended his hand to Eunhyuk, asking the smaller man’s hand for a dance which Eunhyuk took timidly.

Kyuhyun guided him back to the dance floor and lingered his hands around Eunhyuk’s waist as the smaller man settled himself in front of him. Eunhyuk rested his hands on Kyuhyun’s neck and he led the taller man took the lead of their steps.

Kyuhyun brought their body closer as he moved their body slowly. He turned Eunhyuk’s body before pulled him back to his arms, swinging their body lazily. “You’re not a bad dancer either.” Eunhyuk said, barely whispering due to their close proximity.

“It’s just a dance, Hyukjae.” Kyuhyun said as he turned Eunhyuk body, making Eunhyuk’s back came in contact with his chest. He tightened his hold on Eunhyuk’s waist, resting his chin on the smaller man’s shoulder while Eunhyuk rested his hands on Kyuhyun’s firm one.

The taller man hummed as they swung their body slowly, enjoying their intimacy as the music kept playing on the background. Eunhyuk on the other hand, was sure once Kyuhyun let go of his hold, he would fall to the ground in an instant because Kyuhyun made his legs weak already.

***

Eunhyuk was happy because Kyuhyun had his smile plastered on his face throughout the night even now as they strolled around the quiet ship. He was glad when he saw Kyuhyun laughed when a little girl approached him and handed him a fresh daisy, asking him to be her prince.

“Sorry, sweetheart. But oppa belongs to a princess already.” He said and Eunhyuk blushed when Kyuhyun nosily winked at him while the little girl blushed when Kyuhyun pinched her cheek softly and squealed as she ran away bashfully.

“You’re quiet…” Kyuhyun said as he leaned his body closer to the smaller man while Eunhyuk only hummed in return.

“I’m okay.” He answered and chuckled when Kyuhyun handed the daisy to him. “You’re breaking a little girl’s heart.” Eunhyuk commented.

“I’m claimed already.” Kyuhyun said. “The ring has spoken.” He said as his finger playing with his wedding ring. The smaller man blushed as he saw that.

“You really think we could work this out?” Eunhyuk asked, his eyes sparkled with hope and his inner beamed when he saw Kyuhyun’s smile once again.

“It takes effort but I’m willing to try.” Kyuhyun said. “You?”

“The same.” Eunhyuk confessed.

“Glad to hear that.”

“Then don’t hide things from me.” Eunhyuk said bluntly while Kyuhyun could only stare at him in confusion. “If you want to work this out.” It was now or never, Eunhyuk thought.

“I’m lost, Kyuhyun and I’m worried. If you really want this marriage to work out, you have to be open to me. I want you to tell me what’s wrong with you because I can see that you’re hiding something from me.”

“What are you saying?” Kyuhyun asked, his voice stern and hideous. His eyes turned a shade darker and his smile was gone.

“I’m confused, Kyuhyun. With what happened in this afternoon.” He said as he recalled what he saw earlier that day. “You’re strong man in my eyes, valiant even. And I can’t stand to see you like this afternoon. You were holding onto me like you’re going to die in pain. You were nothing but a mess…” Eunhyuk said, tears once more started to dampen his eyes.

“It’s not your place to confront me about this.” Kyuhyun said, turning his body to leave but Eunhyuk stopped him by hugging his back.

“It is… because you’re my husband.” Eunhyuk dared himself to speak up. “Look at our ring, Kyuhyun… Can’t you see it?” He asked. “It is the reminder of our vow that I will cry with you in your hardship and you have to trust me and tell me what’s in your mind.” He continued and faint sobs could be heard in Kyuhyun’s ear.

“You’re crying again.” Kyuhyun said, his voice was softer than before, his menacing tone was gone. He turned to the smaller man while Eunhyuk had his gaze fixed to their shoes. “Why can’t you stop crying?” He asked, wiping the tears on Eunhyuk’s cheeks. “Don’t cry. Don’t waste your tears for me.” He whispered, tangling his fingers to the locks on the back of Eunhyuk’s hair, pulling him closer so now the smaller man had his face buried in his husband’s shoulder.

“I’ll tell you anything you want to hear. Just give me more time…” Kyuhyun whispered. “I’m not ready.” He continued and Eunhyuk nodded.

***

“Kyuhyun, why aren’t you playing outside?” She asked and Kyuhyun only shook his head and laid his body next to her. Her warm hands reached out for his small body and enveloped him into a tight hug. He could hear she hummed as she planted a kiss on his crown.

“It’s a good weather to play outside, Kyuhyun. Your friends might be waiting for you.” She whispered but Kyuhyun only shook his head again.

“I want to be here.” He said as he felt another kiss on his locks.

“Play me a song, then.” She said and Kyuhyun beamed when he saw her sweet smile.

“What song?” He asked in excitement as he jumped from the bed, running to the desk to take his music sheet.

“The one that you learned last time.” She said and Kyuhyun quickly scanned the page of his music sheet. He settled himself in front of his white piano and soon after his fingers danced on its keyboard.

“Perfect.” She said as she clapped her hands once Kyuhyun finished his song while the pianist grinned in delight, praising his own self for making no mistake in his play.

“You’re an amazing pianist, Kyuhyun.” She said proudly.

***

“Who gives you permission to be here?” His body stiffened as his eyes met his father’s glare before he gazed at his own feet. His hands were clutching strongly at his music sheet that he hid behind his back. Not daring to answer the question, he kept himself quiet as he bit his own bottom lip.

“I clearly remember that I forbid you to be here.” His father said in his usual cold and stern tone. “Can’t you just do what I ask you to do?” He asked.

“I-I’m sorry, father.” He mumbled incoherently while his father gritted his teeth in anger as he saw his trembling son.

“TALK TO ME PROPERLY!” He shouted and Kyuhyun pulled himself straight yet he still couldn’t lift his face to see his own father.

“Such a disobedient child.” He spat as he catch a glimpse on the sheet behind Kyuhyun’s back. He effortlessly took it from his son and flipped in rage once more as he tore the piece of paper into tiny pieces.

“YOU’RE NOT GOING TO PLAY THIS ANYMORE!” He said. “If ever I saw you with this, you’ll see what furious me capable of.” He continued.

***

He was used to be alone. He was used to cry on his own. Loneliness was always his companion.

He was used to be cursed by people and he was familiar with haters. He ate cuss word for his breakfast and he consumed pain for his dinner. He was nothing but a trash.

He built his own wall. He was safe in his own bubble. It protected him from everyone, it made him feel safe. He dragged himself away from other people, he chose to stand on his own feet… He was afraid to be hurt again.

But Hyukjae demolished his wall… Hyukjae cracked his bubble. And he was left with nothing. He was scared and he was weak. He was everything that Hyukjae didn’t expect from him. He was a mess.

He was lost when Hyukjae came running for him and cry for him. He wasn’t used to see people shed their tears for him. He wasn’t used to be loved by people as perfect as Hyukjae. He was unfamiliar with it and it scared him.

Hyukjae scares him…

***