CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Dawn

 Dawn was a mystical time of day for as the sun rose above the perfect line of the horizon, light breathed life to the world. The lost traces of day finally came back together; united, but even in the event of such a reunion, the sky was inadvertently different than the day before because fragments of things can never form the thing they were.

Violet hues and blooming pinks lit up the sky in a pastel haze as clouds ran through the sky in beautiful streams of dissipating smoke. Even just for a moment, the stillness in the air made everything seem like a painting – one painted with an imaginative mind and a steady hand of experience. Yet, the dynamics of sunrise were strange and unpredictable because the moment you thought you had a grasp of the pattern, it would change in the blink of an eye. Nature was as deceptive as it was beautiful and as familiar as it was mysterious.

This time of dawn – this momentary eternity of being enveloped in the spirits of a new beginning always gave way to the complete unveiling of light too soon and as the sun rose over the horizon completely, the mystic hues and broken promises disappeared altogether.

Sometimes, Sehun wondered why the most beautiful things were always the most broken and why pain always created such fascination. Perhaps it was empathy or maybe it was just the thrill of encountering something profound and meaningful because he found as time raced on, people became more and more afraid of feelings. He was afraid of feelings because to him feelings always made him weak and weakness brought nothing good.

There were times where he secretly hated Jaehwa – he hated her for giving him these conflicted feelings because all it resulted in was him being hurt endlessly. Yet at the end of the day he knew that he only hated her because he loved her and couldn’t have her.

He shut his eyes and listened as the wind carried their voices to him – Jaehwa and Lay were talking about what had happened the night before and he knew he shouldn’t listen but he gave in nonetheless.

 “Did it hurt?” Lay asked after a long moment of silence and Jaehwa could see the guilt eating him up from inside. She had just told him everything that had happened after he had shared his fragmented recollection of what he remembered, with her. She filled in the gaps in his stories because she felt it was only right for him to know what he had done and what had really happened.

She shook her head but he saw right through her lie because a slight tremble ran through her body when he touched her hand.

“Liar.” He whispered softly but in such a tender way that it frightened her. It wasn’t until moments later that she gave herself the courage to look at him directly and it was then that she realised how relieved she was that he was alright – that she didn’t have to lose a friend because she had lost too much before this journey even began. She chose to disregard everything else and just focus on her feelings of gratitude.

She pressed her lips into a thin reassuring line as she carefully gave his hand a tight squeeze, “I know you would never hurt me.”

He nodded, “Good.”

They directed their gazes elsewhere, hands interlinked as the warmth of the sun rushed over them.

“You should get some rest. I’ll tell the others what happened.” Jaehwa offered kindly, though she didn’t look forward to telling Sehun one bit. It had been two whole days since they had last spoken but what hurt her more was knowing that in that time, Sehun hadn’t even cast one look at her. He gave off the feeling that he found her repulsive and she hated it.

“How’d Sehun react?” Lay finally asked the question that had plagued him since the moment he found out that he had bitten Jaehwa. He knew immediately that his younger brother wouldn’t handle the event well and the look that crossed Jaehwa’s face told him everything he needed to know.

“I don’t know.” She mumbled before she looked away and answered with a clearer tone, “It shouldn’t matter to him.”

Lay nodded understandingly before he got up from his sitting position to stretch his limbs. It felt so good to be able to move freely and for that alone, he was thankful to Jaehwa but at the same time apologetic because his actions had driven a rift between her and Sehun. By no means, did he wish to come between her and his brother because no matter how much he liked Jaehwa, Sehun was still his little brother and deep down, he knew who she would pick any day.

He brushed off any dirt from his pants and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, “I’m sorry for what I did, Jaehwa. I really am.”

She looked up at him with soft eyes, “I know. It’s alright. Go and get some rest.”

“I’ll take care of the others.” He said as he mustered a reassuring smile, “You’ve been through enough.”

She moved to stand up so that she could stop him but he forced her back down with the hand he had on her shoulder, “But-“

“No buts.” He wagged his finger to liven her mood and thankfully, she laughed lightly at his childishness, “Stay here and rest, ok?”

She could only nod at his request.

 Night befell the group sooner than expected and as Sehun had tried to take his mind of everything, he’d changed into his best clothing first. He exited the tent in a neat and simple black and white suit that was crimped and wrinkled from being in his bag for so long. He decided it would be best to walk around for a while so that it fitted him better.

At dusk, he arrived in a quiet part of the forest and decided to linger for a while. He listened to the birds chirping and the sounds of animals clawing and trotting along beds of dried leaves, feeling the chilly winter air kiss his skin through the fabric of his formal attire. With his hands in his pockets he wandered aimlessly around, watching as the last of the sun’s rays pierced through empty pockets between tree leaves to cast itself in strange patterns in the dirt.

He had barely begun to enjoy his time alone when he found her sitting at the trunk of a tree with a beautiful golden blade between her fingers – it was small but sleek, embedded with dazzling jewels that reflected the light in dazzling bursts of colour. She seemed focused on it as she traced her fingers over the hard metal so much so that she hadn’t noticed him there at all.

Quietly, he just stood there admiring her in the dress he had picked out for her when they had gone hunting for blood. It was a simple dress – black with an A-line cut but it had beautiful cutouts where her skin showed through the sheer lace at her back, her arms and her neckline. She had roughly pulled her hair back into an elegant chignon with little stray hairs framing her face – she looked more presentable and definitely more awake than she had the days before.

Somehow, he was glad that he had picked a dress with a high neckline because from here he could barely make out the bite-marks that Lay had left on her milky skin. He realised it had been a rather long time since he had taken a good look at her and he was afraid that in that time, she had changed to someone he could no longer recognise.

He sighed and just as he turned to walk away, she snapped out of her reverie, catching him with his body angled away from her. She took a moment for it to register in her mind – that Sehun was here within a few feet of where she sat but it was disheartening that even as close as he was, he didn’t dare to come over to acknowledge her presence.

“Sehun.” He stopped in his steps, freezing up for a moment before he turned to face – so slowly that it almost seemed reluctant. Was she so terrible to be with?

She moved to her feet with ease and walked up to him with paced steps as she tucked her blade into her belt. He was dashing in a suit but his usual arrogance was dampened by the dishevelled state of his clothing – he had obviously been half-hearted about dressing because his collar was crooked and his dress shirt hadn’t been fully tucked in. Yet to her, there was something so perfect about this imperfect Sehun – something so real and down to earth about him.

When she stood before him, she couldn’t help but reach up to fix his crooked collar, smoothing her delicate hands over his shirt like she had when they had been married. At the thought, he turned away, shying away from her hands protectively and she was left stunned. It hurt. It hurt to see him dodge her so blatantly – she couldn’t even comfort herself by telling herself that she was paranoid because it was so obvious.

“Are you angry with me?” She finally asked, when he continued to turn away from her with his brows furrowed painfully. Did her presence irritate him? 

“Why would I be angry at you?” He was cold and the tremors in his voice betrayed the purpose of his question. He was upset with her.

“Stop it Sehun.” She rolled her eyes, “You’re upset about something and I don’t get it.”

“Whatever.” He shrugged, “You don’t care anyway.” He muttered the last part under his breath but she caught it nonetheless.

She stood there trying to decipher what his noncommittal answers really meant but the more she thought, the angrier she got.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She snapped back, moving so that she stood before him and even then, he refused to look directly at her.

“It’s sup