Minhyuk came by to pick me up at my parent’s house. More like, walked over next door to ring the doorbell. He told me  that he had reserved a table for two at some fancy restaurant downtown and when I asked why, he gave me the old, ‘just for the heck of it’ . Since he had called the restaurant beforehand, I couldn’t refuse.

We were seated in the high class restaurant where everything was just so structure and systematized into the modern scheme. Each table was draped over with a thin ivory cloth and surrounded by ebony chairs for contrast. It couldn’t have been more embellished than vague.

I think looking around was giving me a headache. So I turned to Minhyuk who was already looking at me.

“You know, Minhyuk, I really can’t thank you enough for all you’ve done for me.” I began. “I mean, ever since we were children you always looked after me.”

“You were always such a princess, treating me like your slave.” He chuckled lightly. Now, that I can’t deny. “But has it ever occurred to you that I might’ve wanted to be your prince?” All jokes now aside, he looked at me without a grin but I didn’t think too much of it.

“Mmm...nope. The role didn’t suit you.” I kidded. Every little girl pictures their prince charming to obtain exceptional qualities such as being tall and masculine. Minhyuk... well he was always shorter as a child and even more sensitive than I. Then we grew up, he started working out but his height hadn’t increased so drastically.

“What must I do to be worthy of you, princess?” Minhyuk asked.

“Huh?”

“Minhee, I’d do anything.” He vowed.

And then the atmosphere went from joking to serious. A bit uncomfortable on my side. Maybe if he was playing a slave right then, I probably would’ve taken his words a little more lightly but he was looking at me, waiting for me to respond.

Luckily,the appetizers came giving me a break from the pressure. I dug into food make it look like I was completely distracted. But as I looked back up, he was still staring. I smiled at him with a full mouth then swallowed it all to say something.

“Oh, no Minhyuk. You’ve done so much already. Please. If anything I owe you.” I said.

“Anything?” Minhyuk asked. He looked surprised and happy. You can tell by the way his eyes turn into upside down crescents. An ‘eye smile’ they say.

“Mhm.” I sounded, stuffing more carrot cake bread into my mouth.

“Then Kim Minhee, will you do the honor of marrying me?” He asked.

Wrong timing. The food barely made it to my throat, thus making me choke by surprise. “Uhhm. I don’t know.” I mean, not again.

Two years ago,  when I decided that I’d forget Chanyeol, Minhyuk spontaneously popped the question for the first time and I rejected him. I told him it was just too soon. My parents gave me a hard time considering that they think he’s perfect but I just couldn’t.  And so he waited for a change of heart.

But two years later, was I ready yet?

“Haven’t you made up your mind? Or...you haven’t forgotten him.” Minhyuk looked away hoping not to hear such undesirable words escape my mouth.

“I did forget him.” A beautiful lie in disguise. I sounded as earnest as I could and yet I wasn’t so sure if Minhyuk bought it.

“It’s been four years. He’s not coming home. He had never seen your son grow up and he never will. But I have and I can.” Minhyuk said. Somehow, his words stung like a bee. Unpleasant and harmful. Bringing up the past couldn’t have been so painful to hear, especially when my past and present will forever be intertwined.

“That’s because he never got the chance. He doesn’t even know.” I countered. Was I really defending Chanyeol? Oddly enough, I was though he didn’t deserve it. I just wanted to cry right there.

No one would truly understand what I went through. Feeling like you lost someone forever and you could do nothing to stop it. Minhyuk was always there but he still would never understand.

“Look, I love you and Hyunwoo.” Minhyuk said as he took one of my hands and placed a diamond ring on the center of my palm. Tears started to fall from my eyes as he continued. “ I want to take care of you guys and provide for you as my family. Your son deserves a father.”

Well, I couldn’t give him a proper answer because all I did was cry from neither happiness nor sadness. I was just an emotional wreck.

…

I told Minhyuk to drop my off at my apartment instead of my parent’s house. A little time to myself wouldn’t hurt. So, I figured that Hyunwoo wouldn’t mind spending time with his grandparents. Even if they disliked his father so much, they would give so much love to their grandson mostly because he’s my son too.

I stood on my balcony and stared at the moon wondering if Chanyeol was still somewhere out there, alive and standing under the same sky. And for the longest time I convinced myself that he was dead. It was the only way for me to stop waiting for nothing to happen.

“It’s been four years. He’s not coming home...” Exactly, Minhyuk’s words. Those dreamlike times were long over as they emerged into this terrible nightmare I’m living.

I think I made the right decision back at the restaurant. Now it’s time to go on living my life.

◊

Those four years slipped by fast like a speeding bullet. The whole experience was almost too unreal to even reminisce; a  noteworthy dream that even when you wake up it’s still there lingering in the back of your head.

However, it was more than real and I have a healing scar on my leg to prove it. I could’ve died then. I should’ve, but the damn bullet barely hit my right , only leaving a gash.

And sometimes I missed her so much that I didn’t even know if I was going to make it. But somehow I proved that I could.

I’m alive and I’m finally going home.