I asked my manager if he can cancel all my schedule for today and the following day. When he said yes I packed the things that I need and drove all the way to Busan. I am not sure Why and what am I doing but I know I'm doing this for my mind to be at peace.

I left the letter Jonghyun gave me. I don't want to drive with an aching heart, disappointed thinking and it felt good living in an expectation.

It took me almost 9 hours to reach Busan.

The sun has shone when I reached their home. As I park my car on their driveway I saw a woman who's been looking at me intently with that eye smile that I've only seen once. His Mother.

I can really tell that she's happy to see me. She's still far from where I stood yet she already opened her arms welcoming me to their home one more time.

"Seohyuniiie!!!" she called my name excitedly as she ran towards me.

"Eomeonim!" I greeted and hugged her back.

"It's been almost 3 years when we saw each other!"

"I know, have you been well? how are you? Where's Aboenim?" I asked looking behind her expecting someone would appear.

"He's at the company right now with your brother-in-law." she said, I felt the butterflies in my stomach, she still consider me as Yonghwa's girlfriend though it's been all over the newspaper that we already broke up and I am in a relationship with Kyu. I doubt that she didn't know anything at all, It has been a hot topic since Yonghwa's Disappearance and Me dating Kyu, that it lasted for almost a year.

"oh.."

"yeah, come in. . is your boyfriend with you? " she asked. Looking behind me.

It felt like it took me years to answer that simple yes or no question. I don't know how to explain everything to her.

"aiigooo, why did you drive alone? This kid... really... Let me call your brother-in-law to drive you home later. It's dangerous. You should've took the train instead.." she smiled at me warmly.

"ara.. I know how you feel.. I know everything." she said as if reading my mind.

"w-where is he?"

"He went back to Seoul yesterday. FNC already gave him a permission to be back..."

"Nothing happened to him!?!?!? Then Why the hell -- "

"It won't be right if I will explain it in his behalf. Just let my son do it and let him defend himself."

"he left me without any reason?" I just blurted.

"Why did he have to left without any valid reason? did he ever think about regretting it one day? Did he ever thought this day to come? did he.. ever loved me?" she said as if reading what's on my mind. I sobbed and burried my face to her shoulders. " I know.. I've been asking him the same question at the concert 2 years ago.. I know you're hurt and betrayed.. He may have left you without explaining anything but always remember that everything has a reason.." she's still calm and patient while hugging and tapping my back.

I started crying that I don't know when to stop.. The last time I cried was because of him, and I can't blieve that I'm still doing this for him... because of him..

Just like what she said. Yonghwa's brother did drove me home. We're in the same car, he's just so near but we didn't talk about anything, I even didn't look at him because of one reason.. I might hurt him for the fact that he's just a xerox copy of his Hyung.

As we drove, I already composed some thought into my mind. Some thoughts that could be use in our conversation later. I texted Jungshin asking if he's at their office but I got no reply. I texted Minhyuk, I even tried to call but they can't be reached. Are they avoiding me?

I asked Kyuhyun for Jonghyun's number. He got suspicious at first yet my reasoning cornered him. I have no time to explain what I just discovered. I just want to know everything right now.

"Hyung is having a hard time telling you this time about what's happening to him when he decided to leave Seoul." I stared at him surpised. He just opened a topic that I think not for him to say.

I stayed silent. There's only a person who can explain everything to me. His brother's explanation won't matter.

"It was that year--"

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