I arrived early at work as always, and was met at the door by Luhan holding out a cup of coffee for me. The gesture plastered a smile all over my face and gratefully accepted the beverage.
“I made it for you specially, so I hope you like it,” Luhan murmured as he turned away embarrassed. For some reason the whole scene reminded me of a married couple on TV, where the wife gives her husband coffee and lunch before he runs off to work, kiss him on the cheek and see him off.
“Thanks babe,” I joked in return and took a sip as I entered the café. The blend was nice, probably the Moroccan beans, strong, with a blend of orange and cinnamon and a dash of milk. I was thoroughly impressed; not only was the coffee delicious, but it was also perfectly fitted my personal taste – the safe, regular, strong coffee and milk, with hints of something exotic. I looked up and found Luhan staring at me in anticipation, nervously fiddling with a tea towel.
“Oh, this is excellent! Wow! Lu, you have really improved!” His face fell peacefully into an expression of relief and he looked away shyly.
“Thank you,” he mumbled. “It’s just because I have such a great teacher.” I couldn’t help but burst out laughing at this confession, all the while thinking I must be really lucky to have gained such a great friend in my life. Honestly, before Luhan became my friend I must have been a really lonely guy. My life consisted of working for most of the time, then going home, read and write and draw, study as much as I could, make some meals, do some shopping and sleep – nothing more. I never went out with people, I never socialised, and even though I talked with my coworkers I never really conversed with them and got to know them properly. And then this snowtop came along and changed everything – and even became my best friend. I hadn’t realised until now, but these changes made me really happy. I had thought I was content with my life as it was, but now that things had changed it was clear that I had needed someone like him in my life. Maybe I now finally could put the past behind me and start living freely again? That would be nothing short of a miracle. I looked over at him while he was cleaning up after his morning coffee making session, and I took the time to study him. His hair was intensely white, and his skin was pale as the moon, making him look really fragile and beautiful. His eyes were rather large while his mouth was small, and his nose was so perfectly sculpted you’d think he’d had some work done. His features were placed evenly and symmetrically, creating a very harmonious look – he was definitely pleasing to look at. He is quite a lot taller than me, which made him look a whole lot older than me, and his shoulders were broad and manly. His posture and manners are delicate enough to make him look very pretty like a prince, but he truly is a man among men. I stopped staring and sighed. Now that my social life had been boosted I had slowly started to want someone in my life that I could love and be with and who could stay in bed with me on rainy days when I didn’t feel too good. I had hoped maybe I could go clubbing or something with Luhan, seeing as he is also single, and see if we could help each other find love, but now I realised that going out with someone like him would be a horrible idea for someone like me – with his good looks he would get all the attention of prospect lovers and I’d end up standing in a corner wishing someone would like me too. Maybe I should ask someone from outside the café? Or maybe I could go with Chanyeol – after all, handsome or not, he was already taken. Sort of.
“Good morning!” the bell over the door dragged me out of my daze and I turned my head to greet Jongdae as he arrived for work. But instead of moving further into the room, he placed himself by the door and held it open, he straightened his back and placed his hands in a formal introduction position and plastered his face with a smile of anticipation. Luhan and I stared in curiously for a long time, waiting for something to occur outside our windows or in the doorway, but nothing happened.
“What are you-“ but I was cut off with a loud hush. Several more minutes passed before we saw it. Finally appearing in our window was a tall, dragging figure slowly moving towards the door, each step so hesitant, eyes wide in panic and it was evident that with each move he seriously considered running away. After almost two full minutes Chanyeol finally reached the door, where he stopped and straightened up enough to stare inside. The amount of self-discipline the three of us exhibited at this moment was impressive, because the internal struggle trying not to laugh was a battle we were all very close to losing. Before I completely lost it, Jongdae made a short trumpet sound.
“Drumroll please!” he shouted, and Luhan and I responded by getting up and drumming on the tables close to us.
“Introducing, Black Pear’s very own, the one and only, the charming, the handsome, the charismatic, the beaming full-teeth smile, the flower boy, the deep voice, the baby faced, the Eifel tower among pygmies: CHANYEOL the once greatest barista, here to display his last few hours of dominant coffee making before the king is turned into a fool!” All three of us started clapping and cheering, while Chanyeol with his face as red as a tomato struggled not to hyperventilate at the stress stood leaning on the door frame. Jongdae grabbed his arm and dragged the struggling boy inside and placed him by a table.
“Dude, come on!” Jongdae exclaimed while Luhan and I quickly made some hot chocolate and joined the other two.
“You’d think it was the end of the world! How can you work with us and call us your friends, when you obviously can’t even handle working with one of your friends? Are we really your friends, or merely-…”
“OH SHUT UP YOU KNOW WHY THIS IS DIFFICULT!” Chanyeol’s angry outburst made us all shut up and stare at each other in silence.
“, that sounded wrong! I’m so sorry, I have no control…” Chanyeol looked down.
“I didn’t mean to sound angry, I’m just nervous, please understand.”
“Why are you so nervous?” I hesitated a bit, but thought maybe I could create an opening for him with this.
“Because I have to do something important and I don’t know how to do it!” I looked at the others and was glad to see that I was not the only one who was confused about this.
“You all know already…” He began after some time, while fiddling with the handle of his cup of hot chocolate. “But I haven’t really said it, and I think it’s only fair that I do.” We sat perfectly still and stared at the table, patiently waiting for him to find the courage to say the words he needed to say.
“I… Well, the boy… Sehun… Oh . How do I even say this? I like him?” He looked up, not as much to see our reactions as to question whether he had chosen the right words.
“Well, he seems like a nice guy,” Jongdae begun.
“Yes he is. Really nice. And he smells so good.”
“…What?”
“No! Those were the wrong words again! ! Seriously, why is it so difficult to tell my friends that I’m in love???” He hit his forehead in frustration and let his body lump down in his chair, keeping his eyes closed.
“You really are in love with him then,” Luhan asked.
“…Yes.”
“Good, now that we got this out of the way, how about we start getting ready – we’re opening in 15 minutes.” Jongdae quickly got up from his chair, and both Luhan and I followed his lead, his face hiding all traces of how important this confession had been – probably to make things easier for his friend, I figured. We started to walk away and only stopped by Chanyeol’s confused questions.
“Wait, that’s it? Are we not going to talk about this?” He stared at us half in disbelief, half relieved that this was all.
“What is there to talk about,” Jongdae replied. “Our friend is in love with a guy who will be here in 8 hours to work and we haven’t even opened the café. First priority now isn’t to talk to you, but to open the café, get customers, work as normal, and plot how we can put you two together as much as possible so you can be weird and cute and fall in love and go on dates and write romantic letters to each other and have rough in the backroom and wear couple t-shirts and be embarrassed by our teasing.”
“Oh…” Chanyeol sort of just fell back in his chair in acceptance, and we continued to walk to the changing room.
“WAIT,” Chanyeol’s voice rang from the other room as we begun changing. “WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT THE BACKROOM??!?”
“Oh, he realised,” Jongdae snickered at us as he quickly put on his apron and got the hell out of dodge before the taller boy could get to him.

---

By the time it was finally getting close to when Sehun was about to appear Chanyeol wasn’t the only one being nervous – we all felt somewhat responsible for what was about to happen, but we were mostly nervous about what sort of mess Chanyeol would make out of the situation. As soon as we could see the boy through the window, Jongdae handed his best friend a paper bag “in case of hyperventilation”, to which Chanyeol laughed mockingly – before eyeing the bag cautiously, as if considering whether or not to take it. I never got to see if he decided on anything, as Sehun finally entered the café.
“Hello!” we all stiffly greeted in a choir, and the boy froze in the entrance, eyeing us all suspiciously. No wonder, we were all lined up and acting nervous and stiff compared yo yesterday, but when his eyes met with Chanyeol’s he seemed to forget about the rest of us. To our surprise the barista seemed calm and collected and he even raised his hand in a short wave and smiled while saying “hi” and looking directly at the boy. For the first time it was the kid who broke eye contact first and looked away shyly.
“Ahem,” Luhan cleared his throat.
“If you’ll come with me I’ll help you get changed,” he said, and motioned for the boy to come inside. Realising again that there were others present, the boy embarrassedly stepped inside and did as he was told. The second he was out of range, Chanyeol lumped down over the counter.
“, that was hard!” was all he could say while trying to regain his breath – as he had apparently stopped breathing in the other’s presence.
“Okay, so change of plans,” Jongdae started while the boy was with Luhan.
“I know we said we were going to put you two together a lot, but you need some adjustment time. How about we put him on kitchen duty with me today? He did mention he had some experience in a cafeteria, didn’t he?” I nodded in return, and went over to help Chanyeol with the orders while he regained himself a little. Not long after, Luhan appeared with the boy again, and we presented them with the new arrangement for today. The boy looked somewhat longingly over at the coffee making Chanyeol, but easily accepted the arrangement and followed Jongdae into the kitchen. It didn’t take long before we heard Jongdae praising the kid and got to try our first Sehun-made sandwich – which we of course made sure Chanyeol got the first bite of. Though separated by a counter and partly wall, one in the kitchen and one in the café, they kept staring at each other as if there were no one else in the world while Chanyeol tried his bite, before he erupted in an of sounds of appraisal. We were expecting awkward but not to this level, and apart from the two oblivious to all others, we were left feeling a little weird after the scene. But as soon as it came to our turn to try the sandwich we somewhat forgave and forgot very quickly, and the food was definitely great tasting, seeing the whole thing was gone within a minute. The next few hours passed quickly, and before we knew it the day was over almost completely without mistakes (except from a few spilled coffees and some cocoa powder from an unfocused Chanyeol).
“Before getting down to our cleaning duties, let’s sit down for a bit,” I called to the others while Luhan fixed us some drinks.
“So, how do you feel things went today Sehun-ssi? And compared to yesterday? What did you like, what didn’t you like, was there anything you didn’t understand..?” the others sat down, all tired after a long day, drinking their beverages and nudging Luhan with smiles and low murmurs of appreciation of his work.
“I think…” he began slowly, probably considering whether or not to be truthful.
“I think today was very good. The tasks were easy to handle because I’ve done it before and Jongdae-hyung was really good at teaching me. I didn’t feel like I really understood the coffee making process well yesterday, and I know I’m new and haven’t tried it yet but I don’t think I’ll be very good at it to be honest. Otherwise it was great today,” he finished and threw a glance over at Chanyeol before quickly snapping his gaze back down to the table and the cup in front of him.
“Well, we already do have three baristas and we only have two people in the kitchen – it’s even just down to one at the moment, since boss is gone,” I mumbled.
“It’s great to have more help in the kitchen, but in all honesty we really do need you to learn how to make coffee too.”
“Then what do we do,” Luhan asked, looking at me. We sat in silence, thinking and drinking, and it took quite a while before the idea struck me.
“Do you have time after work?” I met Sehun’s eyes and he nodded confused.
“Then how about this; during work hours you will be in the kitchen and waiter duties, because for now we’ve got the barista side covered so we’d rather need you there, and then after work you’ll stay here and learn how to make coffee?”
“That sounds good to me,” he confirmed.
“But who will be teaching him,” Chanyeol asked.
“I was thinking you.” His eyes widened, and he barely managed to contain himself before Sehun could detect his despair.
“I already have Luhan to train, and besides – you are definitely the best barista we have! Since the boy is unsure of his skills, who better to teach him than the barista king?”
“Are you really the best,” Sehun asked Chanyeol before he could answer me.
“Well, uhm… Yes,” Chanyeol replied shyly, smiling at the table.
“Then you should definitely teach me,” Sehun stated, without removing his eyes from the blushing giant across the table. Somehow this statement left the impression on us of having witnessed a confession and it was difficult to continue the conversation. We had most definitely underestimated the challenge we had taken on when we decided to help out the boys by making them work together. But at least the “get them to spend time together” part was taken care of.
“Well then that’s settled,” I concluded, and raised my cup and finished my drink before I set off to begin our cleaning duties so I could go home.

“Uhm, Minseokie?” Luhan’s voice behind me startled me while I was putting on my jacket.
“Yes?” He came closer and put one arm over my shoulder.
“I think we forgot about something…”
“…Really? I can’t think of a thing. What?”
“…Me. We forgot about me.” I turned to look at him, letting his arm slide off my shoulder and fall limp by his side.
“What?”
“Where am I supposed to go while they’re practising?” The realisation of what he was saying struck me like a brick to my face. Luhan lived here now, how was that supposed to work with those two making coffee and probably flirting right outside, without revealing that he lived there?
“ man, I am so sorry, I didn’t think-…” Luhan interrupted me with a smile.
“I didn’t think about it either. But what do we do now?”
“Well, it’s not like they’ll be practising forever, so how about you and I hang out while they’re practising? We could make dinner at my place and then sit and read or something?”
“Or something,” he repeated to himself, almost tasting the words.
“Well, I guess there is no helping it. I hope you like Chinese food, because if I’ll be eating with you then I’ll do the cooking and I’m best at Chinese.”
“Dude I love Chinese food so much you should call me a dumpling,” I replied with a smile. And while walking home, my steps felt a thousand times lighter and my stomach was tingly and everything felt great.

---

Joonmyun boss was on one of his business trips again, and with being shorthanded in the kitchen while also having to teach a new member of staff, things were really hectic. Luckily, Sehun seemed to be very good with his work on the food, and he was good at remembering the orders as a waiter, but he was not as good with people as we had hoped. The kid was young and bold and felt free enough to comment on the customers’ orders, which made for several very uncomfortable situations and a few losses of customers. Chanyeol was also making things a little difficult, as every time the boy came close, or he at least could see him, his mind slipped away and so did the coffee. Within a week he had broken 5 mugs, 3 glasses and spilled enough coffee, syrup and hot chocolate to fill a small tub. We had decided that teaching Sehun anything until he could handle his main duties would be pushing it, and with Chanyeol being so out of it around him it was definitely best to let them adjust for a little while. It was finally Saturday the week after the boy started, and we’d just finished cleaning up. Sehun had ran off immediately afterwards, and Chanyeol had explained that his classmate – Sehun’s cousin – had his birthday the other day and the party would be tonight, so Sehun probably had to go prepare for that. I was sitting next to Chanyeol outside getting some fresh air after cleaning the very warm café, while Luhan and Jongdae were changing and goofing around while singing.
“I’ve got to hand it to you, despite being clumsy and distracted you’ve been really good around him. You’ve even managed to talk properly!” His response was a weird mix of a sigh and a laugh.
“Yeah. I’ve been so exhausted when I got home from work, because I’ve been really holding it in around him. You have no idea how difficult it is.” He leaned back against the wall next to me, and we sat there silently as I pondered his answer.
“You know… I really don’t. I have absolutely no idea what you’re going through. I can tell by looking at you, and I can somewhat imagine how you feel, but I’ve never experienced it myself.” At first he just looked at me from the corner of his eye, probably thinking I was joking, but as he registered my sincerity his head spun to the side.
“Really? You’ve never met a girl that’s made your head spin? You’ve never fallen in love?”
“I have never even had a crush,” I admitted.
“How did you know?” I asked after a while, when my answer had finally sunk in.
“Know what, hyung?”
“That you were in love.”
His eyes moved to the sky and followed the late clouds as his head fell back into a straight position and he put his hands in his pockets.
“I didn’t.”
“Oh.”
“But I realised… It’s pretty simple really, but just because it is so simple it is so easy to miss.”
“What is?”
“How you know you’re in love.”
“…Can you tell me?”
“It’s probably different for everyone hyung. But it’s the simple things. The way he smile at my stupid jokes, the way I feel like hugging him whenever he frowns… It’s the way he is always on my mind, not in the sense that I’m always thinking of him but in the sense that whenever something happens – good or bad – he is the first person I want to tell. It’s the way that I want my sweaters to smell like him, and the way I can feel his fingers in between mine even when I’ve never held his hand. It’s how I can close my eyes and see his face in perfect detail, and how I want to know every single little detail about him – what makes him happy and what makes him sad, what is his favourite breakfast, has he ever broken a bone, did he have the measles when he was younger, what is the scar on the back of his neck from, what does he dream of, I want to know it all. It’s the way I know that I’ll be fine as long as he’s with me. It’s the taste of his name on my lips. It’s the sound of my name on his…”
The weather was still warm and summerlike during the day, but in the evening it was fresh and cool as fall was setting in and as it was fairly late we could feel the cold stinging our cheeks and the smell of fallen leaves entering our nostrils. As Jongdae appeared in the door, Chanyeol got up and went inside – I could see his cheeks coloured with roses as he passed by me, but I couldn’t bring myself to go inside just yet. I sat there, and my heart felt grey and weird and I felt nauseous and dizzy and I wasn’t sure if I would be able to stand properly if I stood up. I turned my head to look inside and my eyes instantly fell on what I was looking for; inside Luhan was sitting next to Jongdae while Chanyeol was standing by them, but he was looking at me and smiling, and I felt my heart sink even further. He waved for me to come inside, and because I didn’t know what else to do I just did as he asked. I sat down next to him and he put his arm around my back and made a joke and I nodded and smiled and laughed with the others, but I had no idea what was happening because my head was foggy. I don’t even remember getting home, but my painful feet were telling me I had walked all the way as my head hit the pillow. I didn’t even take of my clothes, I just fell down on my bed, face first, my head buzzing with the sound of thoughts I never really caught. I felt like maybe I should cry, but I didn’t know if that was really right either, so I just laid there until the world fell black and my spinning head fell into restless sleep.