“Good morning,” Luhan murmured. I looked down and found him half way straddled over me, his head resting on my chest.
“Good morning,” I responded groggily, both of us fully aware that it was still the same day, just later in the evening. Holy , we’d had . I had actually had with a man. With this man. How do I even begin to express how I feel about that?
“Sorry about being so clingy, but A) that is what happens when you me so well, and B) my side of the bed has a wet spot. Another, more unfortunate, side-effect of you ing me so well.” I would have thought he was teasing, had it not been for the content smile he was trying to hide from his face.
“Is that so,” I asked.
“Well, my side is completely dry. How depressingly annoying. We should probably fix that,” I prompted and flipped us around. I had tried to be careful when joking, but he still hissed a bit as we landed on the mattress again. I felt guilty right away, and started to apologise.
“No, that’s…” Luhan pressed his finger over my lips.
“This is how it is in the beginning. I don’t mind. I liked it. For s sake, I begged for it! Don’t apologise, this will soon pass. Just cuddle with me,” he insisted and pulled me close.
“…We’ll get to stain this side later anyway,” he added after a while, and I snorted in response.

---

The shower was luke warm at best again. Of course it was – we’d spent all the hot water earlier this morning. I sighed and reached for the soap, which immediately slipped out of my hand. Oh, screw it – we’re rearranging our budget to get one of those bottles of soap instead, I decided annoyed as I bent over to get the bar and felt my rupture. I still couldn’t believe I’d given myself to him so easily. I had honestly thought I would never want to do it, but somehow the mood had changed. It hadn’t felt like it did with Yifan either. The look in Minseok’s eyes as I coated his fingers… This was no experiment. This was no way to learn something new. This was him sincerely wanting me, me, and only me, for nothing else but me. I don’t know exactly what had prompted me to go through with it, but he felt so incredible as he was pressing against me, with his tongue wrapped around mine. Somehow, over the course of a week, he had turned from distant to more loving and tentative than ever, and in the middle of it I had found myself interested in pushing him further. I had wanted to . To see how he reacted. I had half wanted him to push himself onto me against my will, so that I could let him go, but mostly I had just wanted to let him see me. To see how he would look at me after he saw me. So I’d suddenly raised my legs and bared my arse for him. He’d responded by tearing off my trousers, but instead of insisting on ing me, he’d just reached for my tongue, and positioned himself against my side. The feeling of his against me, so close to entering me, somehow lit a fire inside – I couldn’t help but wrap my legs around him so he’d be forced to press up against the right place. The fact that he tried so hard not to me despite wanting it, the fact that he seemed clueless about me possibly going to let him, made me desperate to have him. As I coated his fingers, I could tell he had not seen this coming. Not yet at least. Oh dear God, I had begged. I splashed cold water over my face in shame. The painful sensation in my arse was nothing against this feeling. I had done a complete 180 degree turn, I’d gone from 0-100% in less than a second, and instead of going “no” as I was sure I would, I had actually ing BEGGED him. In the midst of my small breakdown, I couldn’t help but remember just how worth it the begging had been. If I wasn’t already this sore, I would probably have jumped at his joking suggestion of staining the other side too. Feeling myself getting ready, I panicked and turned the faucet to the coldest temperature. No way in hell was I going to get now. I could not face the consequences of getting just yet.
            As I stood there shivering, struggling to control my half-, I heard Minseok’s phone ring and him answering. I couldn’t hear what he was saying, but since no one ever really called him, I got curious and got out of the shower. Right as I exited the bathroom, he hung up.
“Who was that?” I decided to stand there while drying my hair with the towel, in the hopes of distracting him enough to tell the truth.
“Hmm? Oh, it was Chanyeol. He’d walked Sehun back to the café today and found a note from Joonmyeon saying we needed to sort out our holiday schedule, because he had to go somewhere and couldn’t work after all.” I felt a sudden pang of guilt again.
“Do you… Do you think he’s leaving because of us?”
“Could be,” Minseok mumbled, busy scribbling down something on a piece of paper before crossing it out and beginning over.
“Oh. Minseok, I-…”
“.”
“…what?”
“I can’t make the shifts add up so that we’ll both be off at the same time.”
“Minseok, Joonmyeon is running and you’re worried about that??”
“Hmm? No, it’s just that… I wanted to spend the holidays with you…”
“And what about Joonmyeon? Is he no longer important or something?”
“No, of course he is! But he needs time… It’s just… I don’t know how to explain it. I don’t think he’s running from us – just because of us.”
“…what?” He turned around and noticed what state I was in, and began walking over to me.
“He’ll be back. So I’m not so worried about that right now,” he said and placed his arms around my waist. Right. I’m . So provocative and stuff. Now I regretted my decision to try and get his attention like this, but to my surprise he just kissed me deeply before letting me go.
“You’re really cold,” he noted.
“You should probably put some clothes on.”

---

“Hyung!” Jongdae’s voice was bright as ever.
“Hey,” I replied, smiling back at him. I’d left Luhan at home today, so that we could have the shifts together tomorrow and then he’ll be working the day after. Then we’d get two whole days off together, before I’d have to work on New Year’s Eve. But I was planning on closing the café early to go home and have most of the day with Luhan after all. I’d never been this interested in having time off before, and it was making me feel dumb and nervous. Especially considering yesterday’s events, I was particularly antsy to stay home. I’d noticed Luhan seemed a bit sore, as he spent an eternity when sitting up or down or bending over, and I would want nothing more than to stay at home and make him more comfortable. I felt so horrible for having to put him up for work as well, but I was hoping he’d be at least a bit better tomorrow.
“How was Christmas? Did you find anything for Luhan?” His cheerful mood made me suspicious if anything had happened. Did he spend it with Minnam-ssi? Had he gotten lucky?
“It was brilliant, actually. I got him a gift, and he loved it, thankfully. How was yours?”
“It was fine,” he said, but he was practically beaming, so I gave him a quick kick to the , to which Jongdae responded by laughing and running away. Well, I’ll be damned. The kid probably had gotten lucky with his girl. Good. He deserved to enter a proper relationship with her. And I don’t think she could ever find anyone better than him. I shifted my gaze over to the two lovebirds who still couldn’t quite look at each other, yet somehow also struggled to keep their hands off of each other. I knew they’d been up to no good for a long time, so nothing new there.
“Oh, hyung,” Chanyeol exclaimed as he spotted me. This kids smile was as white and shiny as the glare of a thousand suns. But somehow it wasn’t really annoying, it was rather adorable and somewhat welcoming.
“How was Christmas?” I asked as I nodded in greeting.
“Oh, it was so much fun,” he began excitedly. “I told my mum that my co-worker, whom I had gone to school with many years ago, had been kicked out by his family and had nowhere to go, so she invited him to ours! I actually got to have my boyfriend over, and we celebrated Christmas together and we got to stay in my room and mum cooked and it was amazing!”
“His mum is so nice,” Sehun added. “And her cooking is probably even better than Yeollie’s coffee!” His eyes grew wide to emphasise how serious this discovery was.
“As expected of the mother of the one and only Park Chanyeol,” the giant himself chimed in.
“Shut up,” Jongdae joked and nudged his best friend in his ribs.
“But seriously hyung – her cooking is to die for.” I couldn’t help but smile at them, while thinking nothing could possibly compare to what my boyfriend could make. …Or taste like. And that is not what I was supposed to be thinking about right now. I shook my head to get rid of those thoughts and entered the changing room as Sehun and Jongdae enthusiastically discussed Chanyeol’s mother’s cooking.
“Lulu~~ Are you comfortable? Should I get you something on my way home?” I quickly sent the text to Luhan before I pocketed my phone and re-emerged into the café to start the day. I went straight over to the coffee machines, grabbed a cloth and cleaned them over once before starting them. Then I grabbed my phone again and sent a new text, adding “I love you”.
“So, Chanyeol… Did you explain to your mother the nature of your friendship with Sehun?” Jongdae was standing leaned over the counter from the customers’ side, watching Chanyeol’s back he was working on our morning coffee. Sehun sat next to Chanyeol, his legs dangling from the counter top, paying more attention to his boyfriend’s action than Jongdae’s questions. I’m glad he was still paying a lot of attention to his duties – I’d feared he’d stop caring at some point, but it seemed he was determined to do a good job.
“No, not yet. I wanted to, but I’m… I’m not really sure how she’ll take it. It’s never been a subject at home. So, just in case it wouldn’t turn out too well, we thought it was better to wait a little longer. We might tell her before New Year’s Eve… She’s been asking if he would want to come and celebrate that with us too, so… I don’t want to deceive her either.” He huffed and pulled the lever to fix the coffee filter into it’s place.
“If it doesn’t go well, then let’s all celebrate together at mine then,” I heard myself say. Wait, what?? No! I’d planned on having a nice evening together with Luhan, why was I ruining that for myself?!
“And if it goes well,” Sehun asked.
“Then you’ll be celebrating with your in-laws and don’t need a hide-out to get to be together on New Year’s,” I resolved. Okay, so fingers crossed Chanyeol’s mother was the accepting kind.
“Good point,” he agreed.
“Then, if things go well with Chanyeol’s mother, we all celebrate as planned, and if things go badly, we will all celebrate at Minseok hyung’s,” Jongdae concluded, and the rest of us excitedly murmured in agreement, and I pulled out my phone once again.
“I really hope you love me too, because I think I just did something stupid,” I wrote, and as soon as I’d sent it I got a message back.
“Seokkie~ I’m so not comfortable. Come back home soon, and bring lots and lots of cuddles!” Then within a minute, a new response.
“Love you? I’m not sure yet. It depends on what you did. (≖_≖ )”
“I made a deal with the others. If Chanyeol’s mother doesn’t accept his relationship with Sehun, we will all celebrate together at our place. On a scale from ed to dun goofed, how much trouble am I in?”
“*throws a shoe at you* You’re adorable and all, but sometimes you think too much about others and too little about yourself. Here was the perfect opportunity to have a romantic day in bed to your boyfriend senseless, and you spoiled it with inviting lovebirds over to have a make-out orgie at midnight? I want to kiss you, but I also want to throw orange juice in your face.”
“POSSIBLY* invited the lovebirds for a make-out orgie.” I corrected, gulping slightly at his joke. Which he could also have meant seriously. “…But I still have a boyfriend, right? Who wants to me?” That last part felt dirty, but I couldn’t help myself. He brought it up, and I was curious. I felt nervous waiting for his reply, and when Chanyeol handed me my coffee, I gulped it down in huge sips, anxious about getting a text anytime soon.
“I couldn’t go anywhere even if I wanted to. …and I’m not throwing out the lube just yet.” I heard myself sigh in relief. If he still wanted to be there, and still could joke about , I couldn’t have ed up that badly. Still… The thought of spending, well… most of the day at least, in bed just ing him… It was too intriguing. Holy , I hope Chanyeol’s mother is accepting.

---

They’d spent Christmas together. In the same house. They’d barely left. And what had I done? I’d watched them. I’d seen them hugging and kissing and exchanging gifts, and I’d know for sure that they’d been ing. It was too evident. How dare they?? I’d been left here, waiting and angry. This had been supposed to be my turn. I’d played all my cards right. So why wasn’t I the one to be happy right now??

---

“Sigh.” Placing the phone back on the nightstand, I slowly lifted myself up in bed. I felt a bit bad about the last text, since I’d worded it a bit strongly. But he was just too much of a dummy, I just couldn’t help it. I’d only JUST let him me, and now suddenly he’s ruining the chances of doing it again? What, had it been that bad? No way, I knew for a fact that he’d enjoyed it. And no doubt did he want to do it again. SO THEN WHY DID HE INVITE THEM ALL OVER??! Ugh. I grabbed his pillow and tossed it across the room.
“Minseok, you !” The sound was hollow in the empty apartment. I really wish he would hurry home so I could punch him. And then use him as a pillow. I slowly crawled out of bed and walked over to the kitchen. The soreness was much more bearable today. It’s funny how at some point I could do this just about any time a day, several days in a row, but now I felt horrible after just one quickie. But damn had it been worth it. I’d kept on imagining ing him for so long, I’d never given a thought to what he could look like when ing me. It had been too hot. The way his face twisted when I first pressed him into me, right as he experienced it for the first time… Aaaah… Just thinking about his face made me want to do it again! I had not been prepared for the level of Minseok hotness taking his ity would be. Well, his gay ity at least. …and his fingers… Whoa. That I knew I liked. Fingers and are very different, so getting had not been prohibited in my book. I’d been surprised by how much I’d suddenly wanted him to me, but I’d been waiting for his fingers for ages. He hadn’t exactly been steady at hand, nor had he any idea what to do, but as he kept going… , he was going to become unstoppable, wasn’t he? I wonder if he’d mind me the next time he blows me? Ugh. Great. I was becoming obsessed with . I slapped my own cheek so I could feel the pain stemming from my arse to remind me that it was too soon to think like this. Once again I found myself half erected, but much too annoyed to do anything about it. Instead I settled for cooking a bit instead. I was hungry for more than Minseok’s thankfully, and the making of an elaborate breakfast with traditional Korean food was just the thing to take my mind off things. Though knowing myself, I would have to begin making dinner in a short while, just to distract myself again. Minseok better be really hungry when he gets home.

---

“So anyway, he’s been asking me a lot about you lately, and it’s really hilarious! I mean, it’s super cute, ‘cause it’s so obvious he’s got a crush on you, but it’s hilarious because he keeps asking his crush’s boyfriend about his crush!”
“Who are you talking about,” I asked as the others laughed.
“Oh, Sehun knows this one guy from back in Bible school. Apparently neither of them go to the school anymore, and they accidentally met as he was roaming the streets, pretending to his parents that he still was attending. So they’ve been meeting up regularly, and Sehun introduced him to Chanyeol. But now it seems he, what’s his name again?”
“Kyungsoo.”
“Right, Kyungsoo. Now it seems Kyungsoo has a crush on Chanyeol.”
“And who can blame him? Look at me!” The giant was beaming until a certain potty mouthed kid’s elbow hit his side, and he doubled over.
“Don’t be so proud. You’re already taken, remember.” He set up a defiant pout and looked away, making Chanyeol slightly flustered.
“Hey, you shouldn’t make fun of him for liking Chanyeol. Just tell him instead. You could end up really hurting his feelings, you know.” As much as I saw the irony, I felt my gut twist at the thought of the boy probably fighting with his own interest in our coffee prince, and knowing that they were taking the piss out of him for it made me a bit uncomfortable.
“Ah, yeah. Sorry,” Chanyeol said, bowing his head in my direction.
“Bring him here,” I suggested. “If he’s really looking for love, then with a 100% success rate so far, this would be the best place for him to look.”
“But hyung,” Jongdae interviened. “All of us here are already taken.” I had to snicker at his first, accidental admittance to being in a relationship.
“And aren’t you forgetting that you found your girlfriend THROUGH someone in this café, not with someone here?” For a second he paled a bit, then he hung his head down.
“I got caught. And it’s my own fault. Damn, I’m stupid.” He shook his head and laughed.
“Oh well. At least Minseok hyung seems to be having a lot of good ideas lately. Let’s set this poor guy up. Sehuna! Bring the er here, first day at work after New Year’s Eve, okay?” Sehun just responded by bringing his hand up to his head, greeting Jongdae as a soldier. Alright, so now suddenly we’re going to play Amour with an innocent boy. Really, how come I just cannot shut up today, but just have to come up with ludicrous suggestions? Feeling defeated, I retreated back to the office to conduct some paperwork.
            “Hyung, are you not done?” Chanyeol’s head peeked in through the door.
“What?” I looked up from the bills on my desk, my eyes hazy with numbers and a lack of caffeine.
“It’s time to go home. Do you need anything?” I liked this kid. Always had. He was constantly smiling brightly, and he always meant well.
“No thank you,” I smiled and leaned back. “We’re done already? I guess I’ll finish this during my next shift. I want to go home now too.” He beamed at me, and winked as if he knew something he shouldn’t, and I showed him my tongue in return before he left, and I sighed. I wonder if Luhan is still annoyed. Maybe I should get him something on the way home? I picked up my wallet and looked at our picture. Wow, he was cute. I really needed to hurry home to that. I quickly arranged the bills in convenient stacks, signed off the computer and got up. The café had been cleaned up and almost completely closed apart from the exit, and the room smelled of soap. Ah, at least the kids do a good job. As I walk to the door, I notice a shadow in the alley outside. I squint my eyes to see better what it is, but as soon as I do, the shadow realises it’s been noticed, turns around and runs like hell. The shadow is slender and fast, and I’m left too perplexed at what happened to even react properly. Instead, I continue with the closing of the café, but before I leave I take extra care to check that the CCTV is still working properly. That shadow… It couldn’t be..? So soon? But it was only one of them. Luhan always talked about two… An icy feeling spread through my gut, and all the way home I kept looking over my shoulder.

---

! I’d been seen. But had he seen my face? ! Now what do I do??