It was a few days before Christmas and a week away from the New Year, 2013. The temperature had decreased rapidly in the past few days, the cold wind and snow unrelenting, but the nine ladies of Girls’ Generation could not even think of taking a vacation. With the release of their new album was just around the corner, they were extremely excited and happy, but their lack of sleep and exhaustion were starting to take a toll. Tiffany, whose immune system was initially weak, fell sick almost immediately after the end of their comeback preparations with a high temperature, running nose, and a bad sore throat, leaving Jessica and Taeyeon (as well as the other six girls) very worried, especially as they were to leave for Japan the very next day.

“Fany-ah?” Taeyeon rushed back to their changing room after she finished talking to their PD about their comeback. She poked her head into the room and found the sick girl lying on the sofa with her eyes closed. “Are you feeling better, darling?”

When she realized Taeyeon’s approach, Tiffany sat up with her fingers pressed against her temple. “No. My head hurts.”

“Where’s Sica?”

She had left the room earlier because Jessica was with Tiffany, but now the brunette girl was nowhere to be found.

“Manager-oppa called her away to talk about her musical,” Tiffany pouted, clearly missing the presence of her other lover.

Taeyeon hid a smile. For the first time this whole week, she finally had time alone with her Tiffany.

“Oh, have you drunk your medicines?”

“No, Jessi forgot to bring them.”

“Aish, that girl! I’m going to scold her when she comes back for making my precious Tiffany suffer,” Taeyeon jokingly said, but switched topics when she saw Tiffany frown at the mention of the punishment. “Uhh, thankfully, I brought extra medicine for you. You have to get better soon, ok? We have a duet to sing.”

She took out the capsules from her handbag and gave them to Tiffany along with her water bottle. Tiffany gratefully accepted, swallowing the pills quickly even though they were not pink.

Taeyeon sat beside the girl who attached herself to Taeyeon’s side. Tiffany’s desire for physical intimacy was something that she both treasured and loathed. But she cannot be happier than she is now, with Tiffany hugging her on her own accord, especially while she is sick.

“Let me take your temperature.”

Taeyeon pulled away slightly and parted the bangs that were covering Tiffany’s broad forehead. She looked down at Tiffany lovingly, smiling as she took in the sick girl’s cute face with her nose redder than usual and her eyes still half-asleep.

Tiffany giggled and slapped Taeyeon’s arm lightly when she was surprised by the kiss on her forehead. “Taetae, you’re supposed to measure the temperature with your hand, not with your lips!”

“Sorry wifey, your forehead is so attractive that I cannot help myself.” Tiffany burst out in laughter at Taeyeon’s dorky grin and her voice that did not sound sorry at all.

Suddenly, the door of their dressing room burst open with a loud slam, interrupting the short TaeNy moment.

“Tiff, I’m back!” Jessica announced as she entered the room with Sunny behind her.

“JESSI! You took forever!” Tiffany whine interrupted Jessica before she could greet Taeyeon.

“Sorry baby, but I’m back now.”

“Good.”

Taeyeon looked away, biting her bottom lip in disappointment, when the warmth by her side disappeared to be attached to the brunette newcomer. The space between Tiffany and her was only a few inches but it felt like the younger girl was oceans away from her reach, in some place unattainable… Jessica’s arms. How can something so near be so far away? How can a body still function with its heart separated from it for hours at ends? Taeyeon curled her fingers into her palm, nails biting into the skin, and allowed her love for Tiffany occupy the empty space in her chest which would otherwise be infused with… those negative undesirable feelings that hurt Taeyeon even to mention.

As if unrequited love (“It’s mutual!” her heart argued) was such a pleasant emotion…

“Uhh, manager-oppa said we’ll leave when all the girls are here,” Seeing the averted eyes, Sunny quickly said before an awkward silence could settle between the three.

Jessica glanced up at the owner of the unusually high-pitched voice and caught on quickly for once. “Tiff, I’m going to find them, wanna come with me?”

Tiffany lifted her head to look at the sweetly smiling girl but pouted and lazily rested against her shoulder again. Her innocence was something that Jessica and Taeyeon loved, but sometimes it made her so clueless that all eight members would just like to hit her head to knock some awareness into the childlike girl’s mind.

“I’ll buy you hot choco.”

A few seconds of silent consideration passed while Jessica tried to mentally persuade the sick girl further.

“Okie! Let’s go!” Tiffany grabbed Jessica’s arm and began dragging her towards the door at the mention of her favorite drink. The mood considerably brightened, though for various reasons.

Jessica glanced back at the two girls sitting on the sofa as an excited Tiffany tugged her along; Taeyeon smiled gratefully while Sunny dismissed her with a nonchalant wave of her hand, her worried eyes never leaving the other short girl.

As the door clicked shut behind the two girls’ departing backs, Taeyeon slumped down in her head and buried her head in her hands. It was getting tiring; all this act of pretense with the words “I’m fine”, the play of hearts, the lies of blatant obviousness. It was tiring to keep on dancing on hot coal, barefoot. With a sigh, Sunny kneeled down before her and patted her back gently, feeling sorry for the girls.

~~

Tiffany was sitting at the back of their black van, curled up in her seat with her arms around Jessica’s waist, taking in her much needed sleep. Jessica reciprocated the intimate embrace to transfer as much of her body’s warmth to the sick girl as she can. To a stranger’s eyes (like their managers’), the couple looked like best friends taking care of each other, but Taeyeon knew otherwise. Tiffany is known for being extremely whiney, especially when she’s not feeling well. But there’s another thing that Tiffany does when she’s sick, something that totally ticks Taeyeon off: she asks for Jessica, she stays near Jessica, she does nothing without Jessica, she wants Jessica, and Jessica only. No one know why Tiffany’s unusual longing occurs but she has to have Jessica or all hell will break lose.

Taeyeon turned around to look at the two people in the seat behind hers, and immediately regretted the action when she saw Jessica leaning down to press a gentle kiss between Tiffany’s furrowed eyebrows, the exact place where she had kissed her earlier. The sleeping girl’s frown immediately disappeared with the warmth and she cuddled up to Jessica again with a soft contented mumble. Taeyeon quickly looked away before Jessica noticed her staring, swallowing hard at the unwanted jealousy rising again inside her. She wanted to be the one to take care of Tiffany, to be the one Tiffany wants, but the younger girl clearly chose the other American over her. Probably Tiffany didn’t mean anything with this preference. It wasn’t favoritism… or was it?

No! No, she didn’t want these mean ugly feelings; Jessica is a sister to her, she’s not going to get mad at her. It wasn’t even her fault from the beginning. Jessica had fallen in love with Tiffany before she knew about the girl’s relationship with Taeyeon. Thinking this way, it is ultimately Tiffany’s fault, but Taeyeon loved her too much to put the blame on her. No, she wasn’t going to do that. So in the end, it was herself that Taeyeon blamed, it was herself that she scolded, for loving Tiffany in the first place.

Taeyeon felt a light touch on her right arm and saw Sunny with open arms, asking her to take refuge in them from the emotional conflict she was going through. It was wondrous, Sunny’s embrace.

“It’s not your fault, Taengoo,” Sunny told her softly as if she can read her roommate’s mind. “It’s good to show what you are really feeling sometimes, Jessica understands. Loving someone is never wrong.”

Taeyeon glanced back towards the mentioned girl and saw the brunette smiling apologetically at her. Taeyeon nodded to show that she would try to understand before allowing her resolve to crumble as she relaxed into Sunny’s waiting arms for the second time that day. Eyes closed, inundated in that suffocating darkness of her soiled heart… it would hurt less if she could just tear her chest apart, cut out that stupid organ that makes her feel these stupid emotions of love and pain, and destroy all traces so that she won’t feel anything anymore. It would hurt less… but then without this beating, loving heart, what would Taeyeon be?

“It’s not your fault, Taeyeonnie,” Sunny repeated, patting her back comfortingly. “But you should stop if you are hurting too much. Just let go, because you still have us. You still have me… Let go, I’ll catch you.”

Taeyeon nodded again and allowed a silent tear to escape from the corner of her eye. She heard a last sentence murmured before succumbing into a restless dreamless sleep.

“It hurts me to see you in so much pain.”

~~

A/N: hey my dear readers! i'm back... and really quick too :D i just wanted to see how you guys would like this fic. it's gonna b a multishot, so about two or three more chapters of this length. u guys like it? should i continue?

so i gave you guys some taeny, jeti, and sunyeon, i'm awesome right? *pats myself on the back* lol 

just a reminder, this story WILL be an angst, so it'll be darker than most of my other fluffly cutesy cheesy fics. i wanted to try sth different.. so i even tried some taeny. 

some readers (you know who you are!) were even worried that i've jumped ships... don't worry ppl! my forever a jetidal surfer at heart... at least i think i am? :S who knows what'll happen as i continue writing this.

about the time era, as u can see, i wrote this at the start of this year when they were filming romantic fantasy and i got all those taeny feels.

as usual i dunno when i'm gonna update cuz i hav so much going on in my life right now and i hav to be in a pretty dark mood to write angst.. well let's hope it'll be soon though.

i missed you all my dear readers! xoxo! till we meet again <3