* * *

 

“Forgive me, Princess but Youngbae has transferred me to night duties. I am afraid we cannot meet during the night,” Jiyong said.

 

Upon hearing this, Sandara threw herself in Jiyong’s arms, feeling relieved.

 

“I thought you no longer need my company,” she confessed.

 

“No,” he shook his head. “My need for your company for just simple talks shall never vanish.”

 

The Princess, or so now, the Queen froze and pulled away. “Yes, all we do and can do these days are simple conversations,” she said and longingly traced his lips with her thumb.

 

“Sandara, you know why I limit ourselves to simple talks everytime we’re together.”

 

A bitter smile curved her lips. “I know. ‘Tis because you respect my marriage with Youngbae, in a way. You are so righteous, ‘tis only made me love you more. And it hurts,” she said.

 

“Sandara”, he whispered.

 

“You do not know how much I miss you everyday; how much I long for you; how much I want to feel your touch again, to have your lips on mine again, and to hear your confessions of love through your poems. My heart longs for it all but just like my family; they are forever gone from me.”

 

“We can still hug,” Jiyong said with humor, trying his best to make her smile her genuine smile. And indeed, he was rewarded with that smile that never fails to make his heart skipped a beat.

 

“Yes, we can still hug,” she said and went into the comfort of his arms again.

 

They turned silent, just savoring their stolen moment. She contented herself by listening to the sound of his beating heart. The beating of the heart she is so proud to call hers. How she wishes he can also proudly announced that he owns her heart, too.

 

The future she once dreamt of having can no longer be hers. It has been rudely stolen away from her, with her being the witness of the thievery with open eyes. And yet, she was not able to do anything to stop it from happening. She buried herself deeper in his arms. For just one moment, she wants to forget about the pain caused by her family’s death. For just one moment, she wants to think she is Jiyong’s and Jiyong is hers. For just one moment, she wants to erase Youngbae out of her mind. For just one moment. . .

 

But of course, it cannot last. Later this afternoon, at sunset, the people of the South will pay respect to the death of her family. She is actually uncertain of going there. She is unsure if she can take the pain of seeing them being burn. But of course, she is obliged to attend, to witness it. In the need of relieving her burden, she shared her worries with Jiyong.

 

“Have faith in yourself. You may not know it, but you are very strong and very brave,” he calmly said.

 

“Thank you,” she whispered.

 

“However, if you do not want to witness it, you are free to do so. It is your choice. The people will understand.”

 

Sandara chose to join her people however painful it was for her. She stood beside Youngbae, as it was expected of her. There, she saw her parents and little brother in the center while the knights were lined up into fives. After the prayer, fire started and consumed the bodies into ashes. Her body turned numb and yet her heart went wild inside her chest, roaring with protest, wanting to burst out. She buried her fingernails on her palms, wanting to feel something. Everything seemed eerie to her right now, ‘twas almost everything was foreign to her, everyone’s a stranger. The faces do not matter anymore. All she was aware of was the pain in her heart; the fire in it seemed to flicker as the flames ate the bodies of her family.

 

Forever gone.

 

‘Twas a while later, when she felt a warm hand on her arms that brought her senses back- her sense of touch, of smell, of sight, of hearing. She became aware that the ashes had been collected already, that the people had left. ‘Twas then that she became aware that only two people stayed behind: herself and Youngbae.

 

“Dara,” he whispered softly. Hearing his voice served as a blow to her: tragedy. Her knees finally gave in. Her tears finally found their way out of her eyes. The pain finally came over her in one great wave, drowning her with misery. Finally, she surrendered; finally, she stopped fighting; finally, she just let herself become a common person: a daughter and a sister. Finally, she gave herself to the darkness hovering along the corners of her mind.

 

* * *

 

He watched her little figure on the bed, the slow, steady rise of her chest and the peaceful look in her face as she sleeps. He sighed as he slowly went to the bed and sat on the edge. He slowly lifted one hand and gently brushed the strands of hair that fell loosely on her face. He was not surprised to see the traces of tears that dried off her cheeks.

 

“The justice you seek shall be yours. This I swear to you, my love,” he whispered and planted a soft kiss on her forehead.

 

From knowing that Durami has been spared, it is now clear to him that indeed, the North knew about the Parks’ departure. It was too clean to be a coincidence. The first question of how did they know has already been answered. A traitor lives among them. The second remains unanswered.

 

Who is the traitor?

 

Only two people came into his mind: Jiyong and Jun Ki. There were still too many questions swirling around his mind. And he shall seek for the answers. But for the time being, he shall comfort his wife first; he shall tend to her first. After all, she is what he’s here for, the very reason he believed of his existence. Not wanting to wake her from her deep slumber, he slowly and quietly joined her in bed. He collected her in his arms, letting her feel his warmth, in which he hopes would drive the coldness away.

 

As the night wore on, Youngbae was unsuccessful in finding sleep. It seems that his mind does not want him to ignore the questions that requires immediate answers; does not want him to ignore the choices and decisions to be made; does not want him to ignore and layback to the solace and tranquility of Sandara’s closeness to him right at the moment.

 

Should he inform Sandara about her sister? Should he tell him the reason why the North declared war against the South? These questions were also bothering him as much as the question of the traitor’s identity. Also, there were personal questions he must face, he knows this. But thinking of oneself before Sandara and the South is less important to him.

 

As dawn nears, he has not made any reasonable answers yet. However, he decided to pursue the identity of the traitor first for he believed if he does not attend to it at once, all of them are in danger.

 

Finally, he succumbed to sleep.

 

The following morning came. Sandara woke up and found herself alone in the bed, just like before. She was quite used to it but she cannot help but feel empty. Being married was not supposed to be this way. She does not deny that she long dreams of having a family but it was not she expected. She had watch how her parents were happy everyday in each other’s arms. She wanted that kind of marriage. But fate was cruel. She was thrown into an arrangement for the sake of her people. She loves her people, but she cannot help but desire of being married to someone else. Is it so selfish of her to want to think of herself first? But ‘twas too late for that. She is already married.

 

Noon came, but she did not see Youngbae. She decided to go to the knights’ chamber and ask for him. If her assumptions are correct, then she would not allow him to escape his responsibility for her parents and siblings’ deaths. She started hearing the knights’ voices. She shook her head at how loud they were talking to each other; one would think that a market is inside the castle.

 

“Believe me, what I say is true!” a deep voice said.

 

“Impossible!” a harsher voice exclaimed.

 

“I’ve heard the late king - bless his soul - said it himself to the queen,” the deep voice said again.

 

“Indeed?”

 

“Indeed!”

 

“If ‘tis true, then the North finally claimed what they want.”

 

She entered the chamber, holding herself with all the authority she could muster. The knights, taken aback, fell silent, all wearing the same looks on their faces: fear.

 

“Speak,” Sandara ordered.

 

“P-princess, I. . .” the fair knight with a deep voice stuttered.

 

“I demand for the truth. What did the North claim? And what are you claiming that my father had said?”

 

The knight paled as the others backed away, leaving him at the center, alone. Sweat started beading his temples.

 

“If you value your head, speak,” Sandara said, yet again in that same authoritative manner.

 

“I heard the king talking to the queen one night but it was not in my intent to pry but. . .” he trailed.

 

“Move on to the details.”

 

“I heard him talking about how happy he was when Sir Youngbae said yes to him. It is of course, well-known in the East that His Highness was offered to marry Kim Yuna, the daughter of the king that rules the richest kingdom that lies across the sea.”

 

“Kim Yuna?” she queried, surprised and awed.

 

“Yes, Princess. Sir Youngbae was offered to marry Princess Yuna by her father first. Prince Youngbae said he shall give it time to think over. Then, you father came to him. Once he was informed of the intent of your father, he didn’t think twice and just heeded.”

 

Sandara was silent. How can Youngbae decline an offer as such as from the richest kingdom in this world? She pushed the thought aside first and asked the other matter.

 

“What about the North?” she asked sharply, making the knight winced away from her.

 

“It. . . It turned out that the North declared war against the South because your father did not accept the offer of the king of the North”

 

She frowned, her eyes slanted. “What offer?”

 

“’Twas said that the North king asked for your sister’s hand for marriage. It is believed that the North king has been enchanted by your sister’s charm and beauty. When your father did not agree, it angered the North king, thus making him declare war.”

 

A rush of unsettlement came over her. She should be angered by the words she just heard but she felt hurt instead. She realized, she was thrown into an unwanted marriage to save her sister. But who would marry the shrewd, anciently old Northern king? He was beyond sixty years and had a reputation of bringing different women every night in his bed.

 

The hurt she’s feeling is not directed to her sister, but to her father. How can he easily giver her to Youngbae when he willingly risked the Southerners for her sister’s freedom? Clearly, her father sacrificed her.

 

Knowing all of these, she cannot fully hate Youngbae. How can he say no to the richest Princess in this world? How can he marry her, knowing that in doing so, he is risking his life as well as his people?

 

“Does Youngbae know all of this?” she asked.

 

“Yes, he knows everything of it, Princess.”

 

A conclusion formed in her mind: Youngbae is not after HER kingdom or riches or power. But what is he up to?

 

“I cannot understand why he agreed,” she mumbled mostly to herself but the knight heard her.

 

“If you may, Princess,” he paused then continued as he saw her nod. “I believe that one of the reasons Lord Youngbae agreed is to help your sister. It may not be obvious, but my lord has a soft heart.”

 

She got it all wrong. She got Youngbae all wrong. How can she be so cruel to him when all this time, she was truly in debt with him?