It’s up to JunHong to decide if he wants to take the risk of trusting YongGuk.

It had been two weeks since YongGuk had seen JunHong and the man was less than thrilled – actually he was tearing his hair out. With each day that passed by he regretted letting JunHong leave that morning. He kept envisioning that moment when JunHong walked out the door back into the world that had rejected him. YongGuk had even cooked up many a scenario in his head where he ran after JunHong and managed to coax the boy into coming back and staying with him.

YongGuk had actually never been this worried about anyone or anything in his entire life and it was beginning to show.

“YongGuk!” a voice said sternly.

The man quickly snapped back to reality and stood and bowed to face his boss.

“What are you staring into space about? There’s no time for that in this corporation!” the man shouted.

YongGuk bowed more than ten times begging his boss’s pardon then sat once the man had left muttering about lazy young workers. He ran his hand over his tired face and glanced at his reflection in his now sleeping computer screen. His eyes were swollen and the bags under them were getting worse. He sighed heavily and rebooted his computer to continue working for the rest of the day.

Once he was finished YongGuk quickly packed up his things and hurried to the park. He walked the entire perimeter, through every path, but there was no JunHong. He felt a now familiar lump growing in his throat as he turned abruptly away from the park and stalked home, still with some hope that he might find JunHong on the way or even waiting outside his apartment building.

But there was no JunHong.

He was starting to feel stupid now, for letting JunHong go like that. It had seemed like a good idea at the time to let him make his own decision...

YongGuk dropped his things as soon as he entered his apartment and headed for the phone. He quickly dialed a number and waited impatiently for an answer.

“Hello?” a voice asked.

“Natasha...I need your advice,” YongGuk said, hoping his voice didn’t crack through his explanation.

“What is it this time, little brother?” YongGuk’s sister asked. “Deciding to move to the country again?”

“No...I...I lost someone...” YongGuk whispered.

“Guk? What happened? What’s wrong?” Natasha asked once she heard the seriousness in YongGuk’s voice.

“I met a boy,” YongGuk started. “His name is JunHong. He doesn’t have a home, I don’t even know if he has a family, and he sleeps in the park. I gave him clothes and some food, then I invited him home for dinner and he slept over. But I could tell that all of this...this shelter and everything he may never have had, it was overwhelming him. So I let him go and...and I haven’t seen him since. It’s been two weeks. I’m so worried,” YongGuk ended as he felt his eyes tear up.

“YongGuk...you can’t save everyone,” Natasha said gently.

“I know,” YongGuk said, the tears now flowing freely down his face, “but I feel like I messed up. Like if I had done something differently he may have stayed or –”

“There’s nothing you could have done, sweetheart. It sounds like he needed to go. What did he say before he left?”

“He said...he said he would come back,” YongGuk remembered, “at least to tell me if he would stay or not. He said he needed to think.”

“Do you think he’s a trustworthy person?” Natasha asked.

“Of course!” YongGuk almost shouted.

“Then what are you worrying about? He’ll come back. You’ll see him again,” Natasha told him.

YongGuk took a deep breath.

“You’re right,” he said.

“Then stop losing sleep over this because I know you are. I bet you’ve got bags under your eyes too...”

YongGuk didn’t answer and Natasha clucked her tongue.

“Get some rest please, YongGuk. He’ll come back.”

“I’ll try,” YongGuk said. “Thank you, Tasha.”

“Anytime, baby brother. I better get a call when this JunHong comes back.”

***

JunHong sat on the swing of an abandoned playground swinging his feet aimlessly as he stared at the dusty ground. It had been two weeks since he had seen YongGuk which meant two weeks since he had had any sort of meal that didn’t come out of the garbage – but he was used to this. He wasn’t going to entertain thoughts of waking up in YongGuk’s apartment, placing his feet on heated floorboards and drinking crystal clear water handed to him by a beautiful human being.

He knew he had to go back sometime but he kept putting it off. It was going to hurt terribly to tell YongGuk he couldn’t stay with him. He was almost sure he himself would burst into tears just seeing the disappointment on YongGuk’s face. The man was probably worried too...or maybe he had realized entertaining JunHong had been the worst decision of his life. Maybe he was glad JunHong was gone, maybe he never wanted to see his dirty face again...

JunHong sighed and got up from the swing. He needed to find a place to sleep. He found the porch of a church that looked comfortable enough and curled up on the cold, rotten wood with his backpack under his head as a pillow. He heard a crinkling in his pocket as he curled up and curiously reached into his pocket. As soon as he felt the paper he knew it was YongGuk’s note.

He felt his stomach clench and fought back the lump in his throat. He needed to forget about YongGuk and his ridiculous kindness but he still had to see him eventually.

Just get it over with, JunHong thought, see him as soon as possible then you can forget.

He sighed, stood from the porch and began the half an hour walk to YongGuk’s apartment. He entered the fancy building and tried to ignore the people around him as he walked to the elevators. He took deep breaths as he ascended until he finally arrived at YongGuk’s floor. He rang the doorbell and heard footsteps literally running to the door which was flung open before he could blink.

“JunHong!”

He barely got a glimpse of YongGuk before his face was pressed against the man’s chest and he felt arms wrapped tightly around him. It was slightly awkward since JunHong was actually taller than YongGuk but the younger boy still closed his eyes and took a deep breath of YongGuk’s scent – he wouldn’t be doing this again.

YongGuk took his hand and pulled him inside.

“JunHong...I’m so happy you’re here,” YongGuk said with a huge smile. “I –”

“I’m not staying,” JunHong blurted. He quickly squeezed his eyes shut so he couldn’t see YongGuk’s reaction to his words. He needed to go – his resolve was slipping with each moment he stayed in this place.

His eyes flew open when he felt YongGuk’s hands on either side of his face. He was suddenly hyper-aware of himself and how unclean and unkempt he was so he quickly stepped back. But YongGuk didn’t let go.

“Why?” YongGuk asked.

“I can’t take advantage of your kindness like this. I can’t just stay here and give nothing to you. I can’t do that.”

“Then give something,” YongGuk said simply.

JunHong frowned. What could he ever do?

“I can send you to school,” YongGuk said. “I can get you a job. All you need to give me is your best effort at those things. That’s all I want, JunHong.”

“I can’t do either of those things,” JunHong said. “There’s nothing I’m good at –”

“Stop being like that,” YongGuk said gently. “Why would you think like that?”

JunHong felt his face heating up as YongGuk looked at him intently. He didn’t want YongGuk to know anything about him – he was embarrassing.

YongGuk pulled JunHong into the living room and sat him on the couch.

“I shouldn’t sit here,” JunHong said quietly, glancing at the expensive leather.

“JunHong,” YongGuk said, “you’re worth more than this couch, this apartment, than any material thing.”

The boy started to shake his head but YongGuk took hold of his chin to make him look into his eyes.

“I don’t care what anyone has told you otherwise. You’re not worthless.”

Something in JunHong was fighting to believe YongGuk’s words but something was also whispering, or rather shouting, that YongGuk was lying.

“Why do you think that?” JunHong asked.

What on earth did YongGuk see when he looked at him? It couldn’t be the same person JunHong knew.

“Why don’t you think that?” YongGuk countered.

“Because...that’s all anyone has ever told me,” JunHong admitted. “They can’t all be wrong.”

“What does it matter what other people have said?”

“Then what does it matter what you say?”

 “It doesn’t,” YongGuk said. “It doesn’t matter what I think of you at all, JunHong. It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks of you. It’s you. What do you think of you?”

“I...”

JunHong stopped and rubbed his temples as a headache began to form.

“I...I don’t know...I don’t know...” He repeated as he rubbed his temples harder.

“JunHong, it’s ok,” YongGuk said as he wrapped his arm around the boy’s shoulders that were starting to tremble.

“You’re making this so hard,” JunHong mumbled. “I’m not still supposed to be here. I was supposed to leave as soon as I told you I wasn’t staying.”

“JunHong –”

“I should go,” JunHong said as he suddenly stood up and quickly started walking to the door.

“JunHong, please don’t go!” YongGuk begged.

The boy froze.

“Please, JunHong. Please, I can’t just let you go again. I know you don’t understand it but I care about you and I believe you have so much you can do with your life if you just give it a second chance. Wouldn’t you rather give this a try than wonder the rest of your life what might have happened if you did?”

JunHong slowly turned around and looked at the man that was crying because he was about to leave his home.

YongGuk slowly made his way over to JunHong and held his hand.

“Please, JunHong...I don’t want you to go,” he said earnestly.

“I’m scared...” JunHong admitted. “I could disappoint you...”

YongGuk gripped JunHong’s hand tighter.

“I’d rather that than you go back out there,” YongGuk told him, “and you will never disappoint me as long as you try your best.”

JunHong looked at YongGuk wonderingly. For him it was hard to believe that one day YongGuk wouldn’t get tired of his insufficiency and reject him. The thought of that happening was absolutely terrifying but he knew the only way for him to ever trust YongGuk was to find out if he was telling the truth.

And he knew the only way for that to happen was for him to stay.

I hope you guys liked it! ^^ I'll be travelling and on Christmas vacation from tomorrow so~ I'm not sure yet if I'll be writing anything for the holiday season depending on how much time I have to write >_< so if I don't post anything before Christmas...Happy Holidays!

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