‘Doue, kimi wo suki ni natte shimattandarou..?’

‘Why did I fall in love with you..?’

Sehun take a gentle sip of his iced cappuccino, eyes wandered over Jongin who’s probably busy texting with Soojung. He appreciated moments like this, when they could just sit and be free. Both of them don’t really have a plenty of free time in week days, because they’d be busy with trainings and lectures. Saturdays had became the day when they’d just enjoy being in Tokyo, enjoy being there instead of keep thinking about why they’re there.

How’s she doing? Sehun’s mind unconsciously – or not? – went to a certain girl. The girl, who keeps filling his mind like that. Sure they always had the time to chat, but Sehun find it selfish if he keeps on bothering the girl, so he used the reason of his busy activities to keep a proper distance with her. He decided to just save all his longings and pour them all together once he go back to Seoul and meet her.

‘Donna ni toki ga nagarete mo kimi wa zutto, koko ni iru to, omotetta no ni..’

‘No matter how much time has passed, I still thought you were right here..’

He still remember that day, a couple months ago, when Joonmyun called him and blabbered – whined – about the arranged marriage. He remember how he lectured Joonmyun about the older should start to stand up for himself. The conversation was fine until he asked the girl’s name to Joonmyun, and how he wished he didn’t.

“Her name is Saehyun. Byun Saehyun.”

That moment, Sehun wants to refuse to think that it might be the girl who he had loved for years. Seoul is a big city, who knows there’s another Byun Saehyun? Just like how name ‘Kim Kibum’ could be found in any school, or even ‘Jonghyun’, a name that matched with a lots of surenames.

But when they meet after that, Sehun clarified some things that proved it’s really her.

Sehun thought he heard his hear cracked.

Joonmyun asked what is Byun Saehyun like, and he end up explaining every details he adored of her. He was lost in his thoughts when Joonmyun said this thing.

“Sehun, you like this girl, don’t you?”

Of course, no one knows. Not even Jongin. Not even Soojung, though the girl had suspected it from a long time ago. He could’ve just said yes, or said that he already loved her for longs. But deep in his heart, he doesn’t want Joonmyun to feel guilty in every steps he made. The marriage isn’t something he wanted either. He can’t blame the older.

But if he say he don’t, Joonmyun will just pester him more about it. He couldn’t lie to Joonmyun. And he feels if he denies it, it will become real. And he doesn’t want to lose his feelings for Saehyun, no matter how painful it is.

So he play dumb instead.

“Do I?”

‘Demo kimi ga eranda no wa chigau michi..’

‘But you’ve already chosen a different path..’

The rest of the conversation passed in a blur to him. Lying and lying. Saying that he never realized that he’s in love with Saehyun until Joonmyun said it. Maybe that way, Joonmyun won’t feel so guilty because he’d think that it’s also Sehun’s fault that he didn’t realize his own feelings.

But there’s this one problem.

“But hyung, I remember now, why I kept my feelings for so long.”

He want to tell Joonmyun that Saehyun’s heart is still fragile. He want to tell him that Saehyun is still in fragile state. The man that she loved so much (and oh how Sehun wished it was him) had just left her, and he want to warn Joonmyun, but he doesn’t know how.

So he end up telling Joonmyun that Saehyun had a boyfriend that they don’t know about. “Because I guessed, well, we guessed, that she had a boyfriend. We think she has a lover or someone she loved. She never shared a story about that guy with us, but we just know it.”

Big fat lie. He knows everything. And he’s the only one who do so.

“She was crushing on someone else after all.”

And there, he knows that one too, and he’s also the only one who know it.

He remember how he stared at Joonmyun’s worried face. And he thought that he could trust the girl