I hate you so much, I hate you because I love you

You know how does it feel the one-sided love? It’s about being hopelessly in love with someone who doesn’t love you back and trying to work up the courage to say something but getting shot down in the end. For you, he is the world, but to him, you're probably just another girl, another people who worked with him and stay above one roof for the job sake.

They said, stop caring so much about someone, 'coz you are just giving them a chance to hurt you. It's impossible. Didi was Yoochun's personal assistant and JYJ's councelor by the way. She would trade her time, her life, her concern to take care of him and make sure that he's all fine. And living with a guy with all brilliant persona, alluring looks and spellbinding charisma, how could someone resisted not to fall in love with him.

"Boys, the meal is ready. Come here!",Didi shouted to the two big kids who were playing wii soundly, bickering to each other. 

Jaejoong let out a chuckle. He and Didi cooked for the lunch while Yoochun and Junsu insisted to have some 'rest' after their practice today. And he really thankful for them for giving time alone with her. 

"Are they gonna grow up, someday?" 

Jaejoong cant do nothing but smiled to hear Didi's mumbling. He stare how she pouted while setting the table. 

Oh lips! 

She blew some air up to her long fringe that covered his eyes when she looked down plating the kimchi stew. And a couple strands of hair fell softly on her bare shoulder.

Ah.. hair!

I cant help it!

When Didi intended to grab some napkins from kitchen island, she turned from the table and suddenly faced Jaejoong who 'magically' stood there. 

"Oh my! Jeje you scared me! Move aside, what are you do... ing?"

She unmanaged to finish her sentence for shocked because a sudden movement from Jaejoong who step closer to her, so close for comfort. He pinned her fringe aside with cute pin from nowhere she knew.

"Your fringe is too long already. Go get a haircut one day", he whispered with his low tone voice and gently brushed her cheek.

Didi was stoned. Not only because she was amused for the sudden attention, for the hot air that blowed thru his whisper beside her ear, but also because she still couldn't breath normally to had smelled Jaejoong's scent from a very close distant between them. She could feel her cheek getting warm and warmer.

Jaejoong enjoyed the sight of her patted her pinned fringe while smiling awkwardly. He let out a smile too, but didn't intend to move any step away.

"Oh my poor stomach! Woaa.. the lunch is ready! Didi~aah, thank you for cooking for us"

And the ice broke finally thanks to Junsu who came to the table at the 'perfect' time and give her a hug. 

Aiisshh!

Jaejoong unmanaged to slap Junsu's hand from Didi, because another hand had broken the hug by throwing Junsu's hand off of Didi's shoulder, and replaced it with his own hands.

"Yah!! Junsu~yah, she's mine! Didi~aah.. why didn't you call me if the meal has already done?". He was whinning over the sulking girl. Who then slapped his hands off.

"Yah! What's with im yours? Haa! Stop teasing me. And for your information, Mr.Park.. I did called. So go to your seat now"

Junsu laugh extra loud to saw Yoochun pouted being scolded. 

Jaejoong was sure that he heard Yoochun murmured something about her-grumpy-PMS-normally-cute as he walked to his chair.

Didi? Save her own going to the kitchen to hide her hot burning cheeks after being 'invaded' by 3 guys who potentially she could like to.

Oh my! What's wrong with today. What's wrong with them? Is it matting season already? 

Didi knocked her head to have that weird thinking.

Maybe they're just missed me because of their packed schedule lately, and me who just got back from my annual leave, a week in my hometown, Bali.

"What were you thinking just now?"

Didi almost jumped to the roof that she suddenly heard a husky voice whispering from her back. She turned around and faced smirking Yoochun. 

"Ani.. I.. I was.."

Yoochun took a step closer, and closer, and too close. She stuttered.

"Wh.. what?"

"Didi~aah.. why took you soo long holiday in Bali? I couldnt wake up on time this whole week. I miss you so bad", he whined while placing his forehead to her.

Didi couldn't help but let out a small giggle. She pushed Yoochun's forehead with hers back. She crossed her hand on her chest. 

"Waeee~?", he complained for the lack of skinship.

"What do you want?"

"You"

"Bwo??!" Didi almost chocked to hear that, until she found him smirking, again.

"Accompany me tonite, i have a new comic to read"

"And.. so? what it has to do with me?"

"Hmm.. You're my personal assisstant?" He scratched the back of his neck, grinning.

"But you don't need assisstant to read a comic, Yoochun.. Beside, i have to write reports for the psychological test that you took this morning, at my office, in my room", she explained with her hands wiggling here and there in the air to emphasized her statement, started to feel irritated.

She intended to walk out the kitchen when she pulled back by her arms and found herself in Yoochun's embrace. Her eyes widden. She could feel her own heartbeat racing.

"Stay with me tonight, please.. I just simply miss you"

All these while, someone has been looking the scene with gloomy face. He has 2 movie tickets in his arms.

***

Why am i so affraid to lose you when you aren't even mine.

I know..

There's always one sided love to every relationship.

One will care more than the other.

More love will be shown from one person and not from the other one.

One will wait and wait for something that is never going to happen.

If my heart listens to my brain for once then i wouldn't be hurting like this.