Chapter 23: Jenny

          First you say you won't, then you say you will;

          You keep me hanging on, and we're not moving on;

          We're standing still...

          Jenny. It was a song about a girl who would completely change her mind after a minute or so. And it was also the first song on my new album's track list. Sung-ha Jung did a really great job on that part, as if two people were playing a guitar just to play it.

          “Do you have another guitar battle?” Gette suddenly said as her cheeks were pressed to mine as we listen through my headphone. There was no teacher, but that didn't mean we had the liberty to do whatever we want, or be noisy just because we felt like it.

          “Nope, I just found guitar... relaxing?” I struggled to find the right word. Apparently it wasn't the right one.

          “Then why does it look like that?” Gette morphed her face as if to mirror mine. “What are you thinking about?”

          “N-nothing,” I said. But then of course it was a lie. How could I not think about Jason when I’m listening to some CD that reminded me so much of Jun-hyung? A few moments passed and the bell rang, signaling the start of the hour-long break. I walked with Gette and met Infinite members in the hallway before going to the cafeteria, but my mind was still on someone else. Unexpectedly, that someone else wasn't so hard to find.

          He was already there, seated on one of the tables at the far end of the cafeteria. Was he alone? Of course not. His new friends circled around him, which somewhat made it look like a tribe paying respects to one of their gods. I got little glimpse of the group around him. They were talents from different classes, good, but apparently wasn't the best as all were trampled by Jason during his first day in school – which was yesterday.

          My eyes focused on Jason afterwards, but to my surprise, I found him looking at my direction. I stood there frozen, and my heart was beating fast, but it was a good kind of feeling, I thought, as a smile started to draw on Jason's face.

          “Wow, I never thought the coup would start right away,” someone muttered beside me.  It was L.

          “What? Coup? As in coup d’état?”

          “Just an inside joke,” L said, “They hate the fact that the school band is composed with nothing but pretentious teenagers.” The statement caught my attention and I didn't hesitate to give the attention to whoever said it.

          “What are you saying?” I asked him, though I partially glanced back at Jason. This time, I saw him still looking at our direction, but the curve of his lips were already straight. Then he stood up and the people surrounding him also stood up. He started walking towards our direction, but halfway there, a girl with angelic beauty joined him. It was Catherine. I held out my hand to hopefully wave at him, but the expression in his face made it harder than I thought. It was as if he's telling me to back off without even speaking. He passed beside our group, and I could see the others give us a dirty look. I must have been lost it if not because of the same expression. Because along that warning, he was looking at me... with worry in his eyes.

          “They were petitioning that the school band must be dissolved,” L finally said. I looked back at him and on his other side, I could see Gette with an expression of shock I supposed my face could have had mirrored because of the absurd statement. “They believed that the band should not be monopolized by few who are, still according to them, lacking. They said that the school must hold a competition among its students to find the best group that will represent our school.”

          “What? But... you're group is composed of the best among the best,” I said. That time, Sung-gyu just finished filling his tray of lunch. He chuckled, but it was sad. He walked closer and tapped my head.

          “You're really precious, stay as you are, okay?” he said before going ahead to our common lunch table.

          “What? L, why do you have a leader like that?” I said. “Why couldn't you just trust the administration for choosing you to be the representative of the school?”

          “It could have felt better it that's the case,” Woo-hyun said, his usual energy was off. I was too absorbed to thinking about Jason that I didn't even recognize the heavy atmosphere around each member. “They didn't choose us,” he continued, “we chose ourselves.” Woo-hyun went ahead and Gette and I were the only two left in front of the counter.

          “I hate seeing them like this,” Gette muttered beside me. “Me too,” I told her. We got our food and settled with the group. We were seated in this order: Sung-yeol, Sung-gyu, L, Gette and I, and on the opposite side, Sung-jong, Hoya, Dong-woo, and Woo-hyun. The table was too silent, and I did even notice that Sung-gyu and Woo-hyun were seated far from each other which was very far from the usual lunch scenario. You could say I was itching to get them back to the way they usually were.

          “SO what?” I said, loud enough to be heard across our table. “So what if the admin didn't really choose you? That only makes you an unofficial band. Surely you'll beat them all!” But my energy didn't really affect them. Sung-jong slumped even more and Sung-yeol released a sound a little bit over-acting to be considered a sigh.

          “You do realize that aside from L, we're not really music geniuses from our departments,” Hoya said. Dong-woo, who was sitting beside him, placed his hand over Hoya's shoulder.

          “Sung-gyu is second in our class, and I'm an average guy,” Dong-woo continued for him, “Hoya is from Dance Department and so he's doing this because it's one of his hobbies.”

          “Same here. I'm from the theater department,” Sung-yeol said.

          “And I don't even make it to the top ten,” Sung-jong said. That moment I looked at Gette. Apparently, I made a wrong choice of words.

          “Mae is right,” Gette said and my eyes almost popped out. “Don't! Please don't!” I was screaming at her with my eyes. It usually worked, but heck it didn't that time. Again, the members either sighed or chuckled sadly.

          “Please, listen to me first,” Gette said. “And consider me not as a friend but a critic judging you objectively, okay?” That gained back Infinite's attention. “Let me ask you some questions,” she continued, “First. I hate to brag, but you know that I'm also second in the class Sung-jong was in. Sung-gyu, L and I. You said it yourself, we belong to the top group, but why do you think we chose to be with you?”

          “Don't tell me you think Sung-gyu put up the group to shine by himself – I don't think so – if he wants to shine alone, he'd be composing and singing alone. But no, he stayed on the side and composed songs for you.”

          “Because you three have weird sense of taste for friends,” Woo-hyun commented low but loud enough for me to hear. And Gette heard that too, but her next reaction elicited unexpected burst of laugh from our table, with L and Dong-woo's the loudest.

          “Exactly!” Gette said as she stood up and slammed her fists on our table. She didn't speak right away. It looks like she was waiting for the boys' laughs to cease. “Look, personally, I was drawn to your group because of your confidence to stand up against the status-quo.”

          “You proved that not because one of you is expected to act and one of you is expected to dance you wouldn't be able to make good music,” Gette sat down and looked at me. It's my turn.

          “Our school advocates classical music, and prefers it most of the time,” I said, “but you changed it. You encouraged the progress of our school.”

          “Aside from that, let me ask each one of you,” I said, “why do you do this? Why do you play instruments? Why do you sing?”

          “I enjoy it,” Sung-jong said.

          “Me too,” Sung-yeol said. “It's my hobby.”

          “I like being with friends,” Dong-woo said before shaking Hoya beside him.

          “I love music, and I love doing it with you, guys,” Woo-hyun looked at Sung-gyu who in turn gave him a small, sincere smile.

          “See? You enjoy. You love what you're doing, and since you feel it, that's the same feeling that you made me feel when I listened to your music the first time.” I told them.

          They didn't go back right away to their usual self, but smiles started to form on their faces which were a good start.

          “You heard the girls, I guess it's only right that you hear me too,” L said beside us. “Remember our start? When we were just trying this band to work? Sung-gyu and I were the first ones to be here, and then I brought Woo-hyun.” L turned to Woo-hyun, “Tell them what you told me after the first time you met Sung-gyu.” Woo-hyun suppressed a smile and the spark that was usually in his eyes appeared, but he shook his head.

          “Come on, tell us,” the other members encouraged but Woo-hyun bit his lips, still a smile on his face. L sighed and decided to tell us himself. “He told me that Sung-gyu looks good beside a piano and that he likes him.” Gasps filled our table and Dong-woo laughed out loud while Woo-hyun turned into a blushing mess.

          “And then Woo-hyun's Sung-gyu oppa brought – ouch!” an empty can of soda flew to L head which interrupted his words.

          “I brought Dong-woo as a rapper who brought Hoya as his partner co-rapper and boasted his drumming,” Sung-gyu continued. “And then when we're looking for a place to practice, we found an actor who was playing with the synth pad in the recording room and a guy who plays girl group songs in his piano.”

          “We were rough around the edges, but we worked hard, until we became a band with a name known by people because of their unique styles.” Sung-gyu looked at each member before continuing. “I guess all I'm trying to say is that love for music brought us together, and the way we're threatened just proves how much we love it and how much we hate to lose it.”

          “Why don't we prove that we can instead of confirming that we can't?” L said when he finished giving Woo-hyun enough smacks.

          “How can we do that?” Hoya said. At the same time, a video was shown on the wide screen in one side of the cafeteria. It was the vice principal.

          “I am sure you're familiar with the request of the students' body to have a competition to find the group that will best represent our school,” the vice principal said, “The administration then decided to allow a competition to take place, but it wouldn't be for the school alone.” The view changed and logos of various label companies were flashing on the screen. The voice then continued.

          “The school realized how much changed happened in our society, and what's popular now are the music of youth like you. In line with this, the administration encourages every group to join a national competition. Popular company labels around our country decided to hold a competition to encourage young students to show their talents. Not only cash prizes will be given, but companies will offer the bands of their choice the chance to be their newest talents.”

          “If you have a group and you want to grab the opportunity, visit the guidance office so we can arrange your entry. Good day to all!” and the video turned off. The cafeteria became louder than ever as students start to find members for their own groups.

          “Are you thinking what I'm thinking?” Sung-yeol said with a wide grin on his face.

          Everybody were headed for the guidance office even though class hours were ongoing. Teachers had no problem with students skipping classes as long as they are in school premises and they were doing what was proven to be connected to our lessons. Our teacher gave us an activity after a short discussion, and when I was already finished, I decided to check up on the band registration.

          The line was so long, longer than I expected, and it was as if more than half of the school population wanted to join. I thought, if this was the case, then the administration must hold a screening.

          I turned around when I was sure I wouldn't be able to see Infinite through the thick crowd. I was supposed to go back to my class, but then I decided to continue walking around the campus.

          Walking is always good. It gives you time to think. I tried pushing away thoughts about Jun-hyung and Jason all together and tried focusing on the matter at hand.

          L said that the student body didn't want pretentious students to comprise the school band. Meaning, whether they write an exceptional song, or appeal to the judges like the ones from other competitions shown on TV, if people's votes are involved, then they would have a struggle in the competition early on. It's not that I didn't have trust on Infinite, but compared to the impeding alliances – and I pertain to the other groups composed of top students from our school – wouldn't people choose the ones who are already good? Top maybe?

          At one silent hallway, I accidentally found a group of guys circling a girl. I thought she was in trouble, so I decided to approach them but when I was already near, I realized that they were just talking. Avoiding to be embarrassed, I backed away from the group. Just when I was about to leave, I heard a name which compelled me to listen.

          “But it seems like Jason didn't want to compete,” one of the guys said.

          “No, make sure that he will compete, whether he likes it or not,” the girl said. Her voice were familiar, but I just couldn't remember who she was. “That's the only way,” she continued. I continued walking away until I reached the other end. I decided to go out of the building but when I turned at the next hallway, I was face to face with Jason.

          It took me a while to unfreeze myself. When I did, I passed beside him without any word, but then he spoke. “Did you receive the album?” he asked, his tone was friendly.

          “Uh, yeah,” I partially turned and told him. He nodded and then asked me if I liked it. “I liked it, thanks,” I told him sincerely. I thought that would be the end of it, so I turned and took a step forward, but then he spoke again.

          “Can I ask you something?” he said.

          “You're already asking,” I reminded him and he smiled.

          “What do you... think about breaking the rules?” He said almost hesitantly. I stared at him for a while, trying to process the question. “Will it be okay to break rules?”

          “You didn't kill right?” he chuckled because of it, but I had to know. “Well, if you are determined enough that you will face whatever consequence breaking the rules will bring, then I guess... it'll be okay.” He was silent for a while, and it seemed like he was trying to weigh things to reach for a decision. “Well, call me when you already reached for a decision, so I can congratulate you,” I tried to joke. I walked away and then he called my name, my nickname actually, and it sounded very similar to the one I used to hear at the roof top.

          Unlike before, I fully turned to him so that I was completely facing him, but to my surprise, a pair of arms caught me and spun me around before settling one arm around my shoulders and one on my waist. I freaked out and tried to push him at first, but it didn't take long to realize that he wasn't moving. “What are you doing?” I said.

          “I'm breaking the rules,” he said. I slowly placed one of my arms around him, and tapped his back. “Whatever you're going through, don't worry, you'll make it,” I told him. I let him be like that for a while, but when I noticed that I was getting longer than expected. Every second ticked and it became more and more awkward I had to break from the hold.

          “Jason,” but he didn't speak. “Jason, someone might see us here and bring us to the prefect.” Nothing. “Jason? Jun–” I was hesitating, but it would be worth the try, “Jun-hyung.” He moved and his arms dropped to hold my hands. Did he just confess that he's Jun-hyung? I looked at his face and I could see that there was something he wanted to say, he just couldn't say it. Suddenly, he dropped my hands and stepped back. Then he took a deep bow before speaking, his eyes far away.

          “Thank you Charmaine-sshi,” he said before passing beside me. What was that? I was thinking to myself. I turned to clarify things with him, but she was already there. Catherine was there.

          She stood there, looking at Jason with cold eyes. Suddenly her palms connected to his cheek. “I can't believe you're weaker than I expected!” she said before glaring at me. “Let's go,” she told him before dashing away. Jason looked at me after that, but the emotions that was there earlier vanished. He was back to being cold-looking again. He left me there in the hallway with even more questions. He was Jun-hyung, but then why would he be pretending that he's not?