Chapter 12: When the Man You Had a Crush On Liked You Back

          I walked past the same set of establishments Mr. Grumpy-face and I passed through during our little trip when I got my guitar. It brought memories back and I didn’t like it for one bit since it was only just a few minutes since the guy I liked left me because he was “sick.” Sigh. Life. So unpredictable.

          As I was getting down the subway to hopefully get a bus back home, an unexpected voice suddenly called me from a distance. I turned around to find the owner, but a pair of arms encircled around me and the next thing I knew I was being embraced by a guy I never expected to do that to me.

          “U-uh…L sshi?” was all I managed to say. I was getting anxious about the awkward position I was into so I tried to pull away, only to be pulled back, my cheek pressed to a warm chest and a fast-beating heart pounded right next to my ear.

          Suddenly, I heard him say the words I only wished he would say. “I like you,” he said, but in a firm, desperate sounding way. “I like you, so like me… me and only me.”

          I wasn’t able to respond right away. I had always dreamt for him to say that to me, and when he did, everything felt so unreal. “I won’t let you go until you say that you like me,” L said.

---o0o---

          “Can I... hold your hand?” L said as he and I walked back to school. I tried to hold my smile, but I failed when his hand went straight to mine. I looked at him and he had a smile that slowly faded away. He then looked onto his hand. “You’re… not going to slap me, right?”

          “No,” I said, “Why would I?” That moment L released his breath and his hand relaxed on mine. “Shall we?” he said before leading the way to the classroom.

           His friends were already there, but unlike the usual days, two of their members – Sung-jong and Sung-gyu – weren’t in the usual huddle.

          “Good morning!” L greeted.

          “Good morning!” Sung-gyu greeted brightly but his brightness wavered when his eyes wandered down, to L’s and my linked hands. Sung-yeol, Hoya and Dong-woo greeted back.

          “So, are we expecting a beautiful face this afternoon?” Woo-hyun smiled at me before blinking one of his eyes.

          “Are you really just looking at the face?” Sung-yeol said which made me send him a glare. “No! I meant why can’t he say ‘are we expecting to hear a great talent this afternoon?’” he said.

          “Uh, well,” I looked at L to seek for help, but he seem to be preoccupied by the thought of his two other friends sitting silently on their seats. As if he wasn’t there. “I’ll be there, only if it will be okay with you guys,” I said.

          “Of course, it will be okay,” Dong-woo said, “it will be fun.”

          “You have fun on your own,” Sung-gyu suddenly said, “I have a song to finish this afternoon, so I can’t attend our practice. Maybe tomorrow.”

          “Me too,” Sung-jong also said, “I have other plans later.” I could see that L didn’t like how his friends talked to him, but all he did was sigh. Then he averted his eyes back to me. When he noticed that I was looking at him he smiled, although it was obviously a forced one.

          The bell rang and before our teacher started her class, she told us about Gette’s filing of leave. “Everyone, be mindful of your health! Your subjects are really stressful but make sure you always eat right and get enough rest, do you understand?”

          “How about social life, Miss?” Sung-jong spoke.

          “Sure, spend time with your friends too,” the teacher said.

          “But what if the friends you have are the reason why you get stressed?” I just didn’t want to give a bad interpretation, or act carelessly like last time, but I clearly saw Sung-jong glower at me.

          “You know you can go to practice without me,” I told L when we were about to go to their band practice later that afternoon. “It is not as if we’re already… in a relationship, right?”

          “Were not in a relationship, but you really have to be there,” L said, obviously he didn’t like what I was trying to tell him. “Don’t think about Sung-jong. He would usually throw me looks like that.”

          “So, you noticed that too huh,” I said, my head bowed while I stared at my feet. “Why was he like that?” L suddenly stopped walking so I also stopped on my tracks. I turned, only to find him looking in space.

          “He… I don’t know. He’s just like that these past few days,” L said. Nothing in L’s statement made me feel better. The truth is that, I really felt that his friends didn’t want me to be there. Sung-jong clearly sent me his message, and Sung-gyu said he had a composition to finish. The other members seem to act like before, but something felt different when I’m with them.

          “I think Sung-jong has a huge problem. Let’s not talk about him,” I told him jokingly, so that the worried look on his face would go away. “I’ll go, but can I stay just for a little while? I still don’t think I should be there.”

          “Sure,” L said, “just a few songs and we’ll go.” L and I came in the practice room and surprisingly, an unexpected face was there, holding his music sheets.

          “I thought you couldn’t make it,” L said.

          “I finished early, that’s all,” Sung-gyu said before smiling at L a little. L hugged him in return after that.

          “How about Sung-jong?” L said.

          “He got… a lot of things going on,” Sung-gyu said. “So, shall we start? We don’t have the whole afternoon, you know.”

          “Wait, we don’t have a pianist,” L said.

          “Who says we don’t?” Sung-gyu said. “Why don’t you let Mae sshi try it? You won’t mind it, will you?”

          “Well, I won’t,” I said unsurely, “but you wouldn’t too, would you?” I played with the music sheets in front of me.

          “You’re good huh,” Sung-gyu told me when we finished a few rounds of a song.

          “Thanks,” I said.

          “So, do you compose songs too?” Sung-gyu asked.

          “Well, music: yes; lyrics: no,” I said and he asked me why. “I don’t know,” I said, “I guess I’m not that good in expressing my feelings through words.”

          “But you wanted to write lyrics too, right?” Sung-gyu said.

          “Sort of,” I said.

           “Then you’ll make it,” he said. What he told me suddenly ignited a spark in me, just like the times when Gette would encourage me.

          “So, does that mean that you’ll be replacing me with that girl?” someone suddenly said.

          “Sung-jong,” Sung-gyu said. “Nobody is replacing anybody in this group, okay?” I looked at L, and he wore a straight, serious face as he look at Sung-jong who returned his gaze with a glare. “Good, because I want to practice tomorrow, and I don’t like seeing an unfamiliar –”

          “Shut it!” L said which startled everyone inside the room, except Sung-jong. “Just stop it, okay?”

          “Sorry for being rude, but you can never blame me for that, right?” Sung-jong said with a smirk before leaving.

          “I guess we should wrap our practice today,” Sung-gyu said.

---o0o---

          “I’m sorry,” L muttered while we walked a few blocks away from my house. After everybody in the practice room left, L offered to bring me home.

          “It’s alright, although I do wish I know why Sung-jong acts like that,” I said. “Can we just go someplace else today?” I told L. “You know, can we just have fun?”

          I didn’t say anything. I waited for him to figure out. “Sure,” L said, “I also think I won’t be able to sleep well because of what happened so… where do you want to go?”

          “I know a fun place,” I said.

           “Then shall we go there?” he said with a wide smile.