Anyway, it's been a while, right? Sorry, been busy with my game...

Very long chapter so prepare your eye for this...

 

The words “I only want you”

The promise that you would protect me

You’re throwing it away with a careless expression

The many days I only looked at you

Today it all evaporates into bubbles

But I’m sure you’ll just smile carelessly

Jessica woke up late with slight dizzy, Shinyoung knocking her door. When Shinyoung open the door, she could tell Jessica disappoint that not Yuri who knocking and enter her room. “Morning, I’ll bring you breakfast and medicine for fever also some vitamin. Please eat it!”

“Did she already know about my…”

“Yes, she already know it” that make Jessica lowering her head and halt her spoon, Shinyoung who notice this just inwardly sighed, “Is this the reason why you want to…stopping Taeyeon marriage?” weak nods from Jessica.

“Is she angry with me? Because…”

“No, she just stuck with her own work. Even she is Prince but she must attend many seminars or something like that! Today is important seminar held by one of our ambassador, she must go there and can’t be represented by anyone else, and she will be here at night”

“But I’m scare to see her now…because she seem so…enigmatic for me, like Yuri that I know now is tip of ice berg that have something under big below it…I’m scare of what or which treatment that she will give it to me because I just…with her cousins…”

“Kwon Yuri is person with superior dignity and pride because she is the proudest child of emperor or her grandfather. What make her become his golden children? One she looks like empress and second, she inherits his tanned skin. In Sone, if you a royal and got tanned skin you are the blessing from god and she truly prove it!”

“She is kind and friendly person but when you seen her face, would it make you scare with that heavy charismatic atmosphere that surrounding her? But she’s not that stiff and all, in fact she enjoy do simple thing, being silly and kkab, enjoy good joke, good food, and good scenery like normal citizen. It’s just her status as one of Royal and her face, make everyone thinks she is enigmatic and all!”

Jessica just nodding, “That’s true…when the first time I see her, she seem so…untouchable”

“Yes, she heard it many time that she look so arrogant and scary but she good child and friendly but just don’t get into her bad side because she can be someone that very…different! But!! She’s very kind to women, she respect women a lot, gentlemen inside and outside!”

 

Yuri arrive home pretty late, she just sit on living room again and looking at her document. She heard Jessica footstep walking at her direction, but she pretend that she too absorbed on her work. Till Jessica sit beside her, Jessica want to touch Yuri hand or arms but she restrain herself to do that…it’s seem something from herself and maybe from Yuri herself holding her.

“Are you…still busy, this almost pass midnight. You should sleep now…I heard from Shinyoung, you get up pretty early today…”

“Ah, sorry…I didn’t notice you. My bad habits when I’m too absorbed onto my works…” Yuri looks up and gives Jessica her smile but in Jessica eye, there’s something different with her usual eye.

Her eye look so distant, there’s something that she hide about me something that forcing to comes out and all but she held it and make it look like some kind of shield that prohibits anything to get closer, even me.

Her tone, it’s so different now…she never use this kind of tone and it’s scare me so much that her tone change into something that I didn’t know before. That tones that give me warning about many things, but mainly about prohibition for me to get close with her.

Her smile…so careless, so distant, so cold,  that seem the smile that want to erase every single things that we already do together and leave it as if that’s just figment of the imagination that never happen before, her smile…  

Her gesture, it’s seem she on guard when I’m around her like right now…she hate me, right?

Jessica forcing herself to smile while Yuri back to her own document, reading it again. “You should sleep first Jessica-ssi, you need rest more than me”

Jessica-ssi? Now you return to calling me with Jessica…are you that despite of me? “Can I sleep on your room? Together with you like last time? Sound of rain scaring me and…”

“Sure, I don’t see why not. You should sleep first and I need to mends this document before I send it to Sooyoung and Hyoyeon. If not…you might never seen me again tomorrow, because they will kidnapped me. Go and sleep first Jessica-ssi, don’t mind me!”

Jessica curled up into ball at Yuri bed, softly sobbing…all memories that keep replay at her heart about Yuri and her spent a lot of moment together…it’s hurt for her but she scare that couldn’t tell Yuri…she scare of Yuri now, scare of how carelessly Yuri will smile at her for being fool that asking Yuri to still like her.

“It hurts the most when the person that made me feel special yesterday makes me feel so unwanted today”

She know that Yuri will never sleep with her like in the past, she know Yuri must be feel disgusted with her, after all Yuri is Prince that raised in glorious place which even single bites of dust couldn’t touch her unlike Jessica who only normal citizen. But she keeps hoping Yuri will come and sleep beside her like last time.

While Yuri, relaxing her sore body on empty room at guest room. She just closes her eye and trying to sleep, but she couldn’t sleep because there’s something bothering her so much and it’s not she didn’t know what but she refuse to allow it bothering her.

Guilty…

--

A meeting I knew from the start

A meeting filled with guilt towards her

The useless selfishness that grew day by day

I guess it was too much responsibility

I guess you tried to find some footing

I already knew that you had closed your heart

At awkward breakfast, Yuri reading newspaper while Jessica just stealing glance at Yuri once in a while. “I want to tell you story about…how I meet Taeyeon and how this begins…I feel like I shouldn’t keep it as secret anymore since you already know it…is it okay with you?” Yuri looks up from her newspaper, again with that cold and distant eye.

“Sure, I don’t mind Jessica-ssi”

Jessica slowly put her spoon and looks at Yuri, just two of them now. “When I still fresh graduate, she come to our hospital with bleeding leg because saving old lady almost being hit but car. I’ll fix her and after that we meet each other frequently, coincident or not…” Jessica looks up only to find Yuri unreadable expression and Yuri eating her breakfast.

Yuri notice Jessica eye on her, but didn’t look up. “Go on, I’m listening”

She couldn’t hide the hurtful expression on her face but she know Yuri wouldn’t looking at her face, she didn’t bother to hide it also she couldn’t hide it. Jessica not an actress who can perfectly change her expression, she just doctor.

“One day, we got drunk and the mood…we kinda did it…after that we did promise we never do it again because we not exactly in relationship, we just something without any fixed relationship…not a friend nor girlfriends, just that!”

Yuri just tightened her grip on fork and knife, but Jessica notice this. “And then?” that’s come from Yuri and that’s so unnaturally cold and emotionless, but somewhat so dark and so menacing.

“But we do it so many times, caught in mood or alcohol influence, but…” before Jessica could finish her word, she heard something crack and seeing Yuri plate, crack into two because Yuri knife. When Jessica looking at Yuri face, she so taken back because now she know what Yuri thinks of her.

Yuri standing and leaving Jessica alone at dining room, from afar she could hear Yuri talking to Shinyoung. “Meeting with another ambassador, will be home late or maybe won’t be home today!”

Shinyoung come and take care of Yuri plate, “Why her plate cracking like this…” and she looking at Jessica direction, “Did she said anything to you?” this because Jessica had her head down but the tears is visible for everyone.   

 “Shinyoung-ssi, now I know what she thinks of me now and what her feeling toward me now…the first meeting with Taeyeon is mistake but the first meeting with Yuri is guilty, because I supposed to get Taeyeon back but I end up into her embrace, into her plan!”

“Go on, it’s not healthy to keep it for yourself. I’m here for listening!”

“I know I should be ruin Taeyeon wedding, but I don’t found anything guilty about that but when the thought of me using Yuri as way to get me to Taeyeon…but now…I don’t even know what my feeling anymore!”

“Even before, it’s easy to standing beside her because she create beautiful sturdy footing for me to step but now, she destroyed it and left me with fragile footing that will destroyed if I move even just a bit…am I selfish? Because I want her now even when she didn’t want me? Even when she already closed her heart for me now…”

 

Yuri enter the VIP room after four hours driving, the room is pretty schedule one. Top of building but not really closed place in face it’s somehow like gazebo only the differences is that place surround with silk curtain, there’s no seat or sofa, just thick expensive carpet and lot of pillow. In the middle of carpet there one small circular table filled with mouth-watering dish.

“Yo! What with your face? You eye have bag and that bag have another bag!! Didn’t get enough sleep? Calling me all of sudden like that when you need to focus on Jessica Jung!”

“Choi Sooyoung alone? Where’s Hyoyeon?” Yuri said, taking seat next to Sooyoung.

“Hyoyeon stuck on traffic, she will arrive later on. Before you ask, my Sun-Bun and her Nicole right now helping Tiffany at wedding planning! They need to make it spectacular, who ever thinks that Taeyeon will get approval from Tiffany father? The Noble Hwang~~~”

Yuri took place beside Sooyoung, “None in earth”

Sooyoung just chuckle, “Yeah, you right! Nobody…anyway, let’s get down to the business here! What bring you here to me? What make you become someone who so emo and all? Tell me your story, nowadays my day becomes very boring with wedding this and wedding that, I need something fun to do!”

Yuri just close her eye and telling Sooyoung the whole story, “Hm, just like Shinyoung said…you shouldn’t let her seen your face now! Have you ever seen your own face in the mirror when you talk about her?”

“No, never”

“Thanks god, you didn’t! Because your face look like…even when we only talking about her, your face or your expression so full with disgusted-looks. Your eyes, also speaking like you just seeing something so filthy that you don’t even want to touch or be near it! That’s bad Yuri, that’s bad~” Sooyoung twirling pillow on her head.  

Yuri just sighed, “Is it really that bad? I don’t want her to see this kind of face but I guess I can’t control it nor I want to control it too”

“Why you making such face?” Sooyoung tossed blanket to Yuri who accept it.

Sighed, “It’s just that…I hate how women can be so easily let go of their ity…just like that, worse under alcohol influence! Things that I really hate the most more than that is, pregnant before marriage! Like they can toy around those important things!! Where are your responsibility and your self-control? Your dignity! I really HATE that kind of women!!” 

“Like sl*t or wh*res?”

Yuri throwing glare at Sooyoung, “You did not use that kind of word referring a woman! Those words are more than insult for them! Those kind of word is not something that used by any human beings!”

“Ah, I totally forget about you who being so righteous and your gentlemen’s way about this! Sorry, I will never use that words again but what will you do?”

Yuri just sighed again, “I’m sorry Sooyoung but I will ruin one of your friend lives because she must take the responsibility about this! She must!!”  

“Then, by any mean go ahead! Do that, do what you want! Because, I didn’t know if you intended to mock me or what, but she’s not my friends and I don’t care about her marriage! But, you right and she need to accept her responsibility, also I doubt it that she already knows that she become a father now! Also, you always got us behind your back!”

Yuri just smile, “I want to sleep for a moment before I’ll bring her to palace…if Hyoyeon come, you can tell her the story!”

--

We really liked each other

We were really happy

We even made it through difficult days

Please don’t be like this

I still love you

Yuri return to her villa at two in the morning, when everyone already sleeping. Before she could enter her room, Boa standing behind her. She seems waiting for her with blaming eye, “What are you doing here unnie? You should at palace or something like that with your wife!”

“I arrive here about three of four hours ago, for Jessica. I already told you, right? Stress is not good for pregnant women? She got dizzy and morning sickness! She almost faint this evening!”

Yuri turn around to open her door and mention Boa to come in, “You never told me that unnie, but why you still here then?”

“I’m here to ask you this, what will you do now?” seeing Yuri determinate eye, Boa just rubbed her forehead, she didn’t like it when Yuri had this kind of eye because Yuri will do something crazy beyond she could imagine. “Just whatever you do, remember! She had baby inside her and don’t do anything to harm her and the baby! Or I will hunt you down!!”

“I can’t promise you that”

Boa just looking at Yuri eye, “Did you happy Yuri? Did you like her?”

 

Morning, when Jessica eating her breakfast in silence like this pass few day. Yuri enters the dining room with her suits, “Prepare yourself, today I will take you to see Taeyeon! Shinyoung, pack her stuff because she will stay at palace from now on! Be quick, please!”

On the journey, Yuri drive her car while Jessica just looking at Yuri who wear sunglass. “Why we going to palace now…her wedding is about eight day again and…”

“Please, don’t talk to me when I’m driving Jessica-ssi. I might kill both of us…or maybe more” Yuri give Jessica simple smile that comes as stiff smile. Jessica just stays quiet and keeps looking at Yuri face time to time, but Yuri didn’t even care at all.

Did you ever like me the way I like you, Yuri? Did you happy being with me before? Or was it just act for you? I want to ask you that question before but now, I’m scared to hearing what your answer going to be. I want to say, we used to love but…

We used…is this the right words? Did we ever have ‘we’ in our relationship? Was it just me who become so wishful of you?

Please, don’t be like this…please don’t cast me aside, please don’t tell me this really nothing between us, please don’t tell me this is over even before we could start and I know that we haven’t even facing difficult problem together…but I’m sure we can face it together, through difficult days together…so,

Please, don’t be like this because I’m still in love with you…

Slowly Jessica reach her hand to touch Yuri arms, but instead holding Jessica hand Yuri just softly push it away, “You might not want to touch my hands and end up killing us, right?”

 

Yuri brings Jessica in front of one big door, open it and inside there’s Taeyeon, Tiffany or Taeyeon future wife, Yuri parents, Sunny and Nicole. When Taeyeon looking at Jessica behind Yuri, her face become so much paler but Yuri keep her face so stoic, with her usual smile in there.

“Nice timing I got here, almost all actresses is here. Jessica-ssi, take a good look of Taeyeon! You missed her, right?” before anyone else could say anything, Yuri already walking toward Taeyeon and standing in front of her and bending her back so she could be in the same level with Taeyeon, “Okay, enough of joke! Let’s we talk about serious things now!”

“What do you want now Yuri?! I thought we agree that you will take care of this matter perfectly! So what do you trying pull right now? What do you want?” her father, spoke to Yuri from his gritted teeth, suppressing his anger.

Yuri just smiles at Taeyeon, not a good smile though. “Nothing much, it’s just she must take her responsibility now…after all, our family…A Kwon always pays their debts, right? Unless you want to say that she just something that we adopted so she can be expelled from this?”

Loud slap on the table from her father and Yuri still held her eye on Taeyeon, “Yuri!!! What did you want exactly?!”

Yuri standing straight, see seen Tiffany who seem calm even when Jessica here. “Ah, I assume this as you already tell Tiffany about your affairs? But did you tell her the other one or is it still unknown to you? Well, congratulation! You are a father now!!!”

Seeing how everyone in this room becomes so quiet, Yuri just laughing. “Let me repeat it for you, congratulation Kim Taeyeon, you are a father now! Jessica-ssi is pregnant with your baby now, nice news, no? Give us some clasp here!” Yuri glance at some maid, they immediately join Yuri who clapping in slow pace, meanwhile the maids so uncertainly if they should clasp like Yuri.

“What are you saying?!! Are you sure that she carried Taeyeon child? That could be a lie or…”

“Well, we can always do a test if the baby born but until that time, she!” pointed at Taeyeon by using her eye, “Must take a responsible for this! You don’t want to hide this for forever and abandon her also the baby, right? Try imagining this, what will happen if reporters know about this? Juicy, juicy, juicy news!”

“I refuse to believe this nonsense!!!” her father throws threatening and frightening glare at Jessica who immediately winced at this.

“Well, you refuse to believe this is fine because that’s not even your concern, but she must take her responsible! Do it more than once, of course you will impregnate her!” swiftly Yuri took Taeyeon cup of still steaming tea and smile at Taeyeon, “Learn to take your responsibility you ungrateful brat! Only runaway from trouble and now you just create another one while you found your courage to propose Tiffany-ssi!! Think the pain you cause to Jessica because you just run away from her without any notice just because you realize you love Tiffany and found you courage to return at Tiffany with tail tucked between your legs!!”

Yuri pour the tea to Taeyeon head and walking out from there, but Jessica held Yuri hands with shaking hand, she scare being left alone here and also before Yuri could shake Jessica hand off, her father who still Prince, not King yet barking at Yuri because of this attitude, while Taeyeon just sit there in shock.

“Father, she must take her responsible for this. She can’t always hide from anything and let the other finished it for her! Not everyone is relaxed and got-nothing to do!” Yuri said, slowly but surely she shake off Jessica hand of her, “Better fix this before reporter know or before she getting into altar! Now, Jessica-ssi…mission accomplished!! See you later!!” 

With that Yuri just left Jessica alone in that room, with everyone is looking at her. Before Yuri father could do anything, Boa enters the room while holding some magazine, “I found this place that good for honeymoon…Jessica? You here? Since when? Erm, what happen with this dead atmosphere here?”

 

You know very well

That I call crying every night

Even when I hear the voice

Though now as cold as a stranger’s,

Like a fool I still hope for your happiness

After Boa come and begin to coaxing Jessica who her heart broken by Yuri cold attitude toward her, Boa then confirms that the baby might Taeyeon baby. “We can’t be too sure but there’s no use to trying denying it…the possibility that the baby is Taeyeon baby and babies maybe…”

Tiffany suddenly walking to Jessica and raised her arms, Jessica already closes her eye tightly and prepares herself to get hit from Tiffany. “Jessica-ssi? Nice to meet you? I’m Tiffany Hwang!” Tiffany extend her hand for hand shake with her eye smile as well.

Jessica just stared Tiffany but her hand automatically grabs Tiffany hand and does hand shake with her. “You must be had it bad because you must stay with Yuri…did Yuri did something bad to you? Please tell me, I will kick that monkey head for you!”

“Jessica-ssi, I fully aware about your past affair with my Taetae and I wouldn’t ask you to stop loving her or give up on her, so if you still can say you love her I’m fine with you trying to take her away from me with all you’ve got!”

Jessica just chuckle and smile, “No…we don’t even love each other…and I blame alcohol and hormone for that, maybe we do have little bit feeling but mere monkey crush and nothing now…I don’t love her, at all! maybe at first I’m scare and panic also at lost so I want her responsible as father of my baby but certain reasons change my principle and…”

“Tell us about it and please prepare nice warm drink for her!” Sunny said and gesture the maid for that, while Yuri parents excuse themselves because Boa ask them. While Nicole already scooted closer to Jessica, everyone love gossip and this kind of story.

“Did you fall of her, her persona of Prince Sone?” Boa said while leaning against sofa, “Yeah, I’m still here and diligently listening to this interesting story and successfully bring Taeyeon back to earth again!”

Jessica smile at Taeyeon, “Taeyeon-ah, can we still be a friends? It’s okay for you not to accept this baby because I realize that you had your own life and so do I. I won’t force you about this mistake and in fact please don’t feel guilty about it because it's fine...really, but can we still be a friends?”

“What are you saying? We always are friends and whatever whenever you need my help, I will be there and the baby…I want to take the responsibility too! After all, I’m…!!”

 “Then, can you be their godparents? That’s more than enough for me!” Jessica just smile.

Before Taeyeon could answer, Tiffany shove her away make Taeyeon crash at floors. “Me too!!! I can be a good godmother!! Let’s we begin to planning the baby clothes and room decoration!!!!”

“Okay, enough with crazy idea and all! We here to speaking about that stupid Yuri of mine! Anyway, speaking of her, you don’t need to worry about her whereabouts! Knowing her, she will be with Sooyoung and Hyoyeon! And I know, you fall for that utterly babo Prince! I’m just went ahead and said it instead waiting another minute for that!”

Hearing Yuri name begin make Jessica feel depressed again, “Yuri-ah…I’m sorry…” whispering Jessica, immediately Tiffany hug crying Jessica.

“What that idiot do to you?!!!” Tiffany gritted her teeth in fury because of Yuri. She is Yuri childhood friends anyway.

“What did my sister done now?” after Jessica telling the story what happen after Yuri know the truth, Boa just sighed and looking apologetic to Jessica, “I know why she become like that, that Yuri is so righteous one and what you did…really things that she hate so much and to add it…you did it with Taeyeon, someone that she hate so much!”

Boa than stand up, “Let’s rest for now, because she will not set her on this palace in next 24 hours or more if she angry and no, it’s not because she disgusted at you! Believe me, I know that idiot like tip of my finger! She doing it for you, I mean she doesn’t want to scare you with her expression when she angry or in bad mood and maybe say something that she will regrets it! Right now, she still mad maybe at you and other reasons, but she don’t want to show you something that might scared you…after all, she still respect woman heart! So until she clear her mind and anger, she will avoiding you…give her some times and she will apologize to you!”

 

She sleeping or at least trying to sleep, she just closes her eye and unconsciously waiting for Yuri. When she thinks about Yuri, she will always end up crying. She know Yuri know that she crying every night after Yuri avoiding her, she hope Yuri will…but hope just hope and wish just wish also dream just dream…

Yuri didn’t know that Jessica sleep in room near with her room, in fact right now she could hear Yuri talking with Boa in front of her room. “From where, my dear little sister that so ever cute like burn out baboon with black ?”

“Me? What a long pet name you got for me! Just some golf with Sooyoung and Hyoyeon! Tomorrow, I got another match with them again! Today I got hole-in-one!”

“So, that’s why you stinks mixture from sweat and sun and let me guess today Hyoyeon die in this game, right?! Urrgh, go take a bath after this!” before Yuri could went to her room, “Why you leaving Jessica in there alone?”

“She…I thought I’m just outsider for that matter, you know? Everyone is outsider for that matter, except for them and I’m just doing what she want, which is meet Taeyeon to figure it out her problem! It would be rude for me to stay there and listening them doing the discussion! After all, I am nothing to her, vice versa!”

Hearing Yuri word make Jessica curled more and trying muffle her sobbing, “Okay, unnie! I want to sleep and good night too you, my sadistic python unnie that I want to preserve it so I can make a good snake scarf on my neck!”

“You are sadistic!!” Jessica could hear Boa hit Yuri or maybe kick Yuri, hearing Yuri laughing like usual, it’s hurt her so much because whenever Yuri with Jessica, there’s will be no laughing or even simple casual talk, she don’t even hug her like she used to do and she even reluctantly do skinship with Jessica even if that’s just simple touching on the arms.

Yuri-ah, you…whenever you didn’t talk about me you return to Yuri that I know but when someone talking about me or even mentions my name…you change so much, your tone change so much and it’s scared me and it’s hurt me… 

Cold word like a stranger…you don’t even use this kind of tone when you first time speak with me…but…

Even though hearing only your cold word like a stranger, I already happy and keep wishing you for happiness too…

“Yuri-ah, please don’t push me away like this…am I that disgusting for you so you treat me like this?” she whispering the words that she longing to say at Yuri but didn’t get any chance to say, hoarsely she whispering that word hopping Yuri would hear that and appear in front of her…just wishful wish that manage to give Jessica little bit support…

--

If there was a chance that you’d return

I wouldn’t let you go

I’ll hold tightly to your hands

As much as you wanted

The amount that you wanted

All that I couldn’t give it to you

I’m sorry, forgive me and understand

Please, will you try to understand

My selfishness even to the end?

Like a fool, till the end I…

Till the end

I’m sorry

They kind enough for bring Jessica around Yuri, mainly Sunny and Nicole. Like today, they bring Jessica to golf place, where Sooyoung, Yuri and Hyoyeon in the middle of their game. It’s so pain her but she rather seeing Yuri laughing around like that from afar instead having Yuri near her but Yuri didn’t even laughing like usual one.

Dinner, of course Yuri will join but she sit far away and like what Boa said, it’s not because Jessica but because of Taeyeon. She never wants to be too close with Taeyeon anyway. When they meet at hallway, Yuri will always greeting Jessica politely, she’s not avoiding or ignoring Jessica.

If Jessica talking to Yuri, she will answer is as formal as she could be, not like when they in villa and before Yuri know about Jessica pregnancy. Limited skinship unlike before, short period of conversation and all. Yuri eye seem bit calming down, but there’s still hint of restrained in there.  

“Urrghh, darn it Sooyoung and Hyoyeon too…how can they give me their virus? Now, I’m down with fever!” Yuri said in front of her bathroom mirror, she took her thermometer, “Pretty high…37…or was it 38? Er…I can’t focus”

“Come on!! You can do this Yuri!!! Today, your schedule just garden party or swimming day of…my grandmother what was it?! Who care, better get ready!!!” when she open her door room, she meet with Boa who talking with Jessica.

“I will take Jessica to garden party, my wife like her like sibling here! Also, today event interest her! Our Memorable Sone Oasis, place where our First God come and bathing there! Do you mind if we take her?”

Trying to cover up her sickness, she gives them her smile. “Okay, I don’t see why not? Welcome aboard to our garden party Jessica-ssi! I’m waiting you guys at car then!”

Jessica notices there something wrong with Yuri, because Yuri voice come so low but hoarsely. The way Yuri act in the garden party. She balled her fist tightly, as if she wants to suppress something. The way Yuri smile at her friends and all, seem so forced, Yuri eye seem clouded with something. How Yuri rarely talks with other and seldom gives laughing to them.

When everyone busy with watching their children playing water or swimming and some adult playing water at one of their important river, even Taeyeon and Tiffany, she spot Boa and her wife playing around…even her grandmother. Sooyoung, Sunny, Hyoyeon, and Nicole absence…figures, those babo down with high fever. Yuri thinks everyone wouldn’t notice her so she closes her eye and trying to hold her headache with her balled fist.

“Your body burning!” Jessica whisper when she sits beside Yuri who still closing her eye, she slightly touch Yuri arms and surprised with Yuri hot temperature. Yuri herself keep her eye close, she scare to open it because if she open her eye her head will be throbbing lot worse than this, “We should return and…”

Slowly she shaking her head, “No, today is joyful day and important day…I couldn’t skip it…she how happy they playing with each other, that’s enough for me to bear it couple more hours. You should play too, they water very soothing…” Yuri slowly open her eye and clenched her teeth because dizzy.

“I can’t leave you alone and I will stay here to watching over you even though you…please don’t argue with me!”

Yuri who still dizzy just stay silent and keep her fist balled, now she feel more and lot of worse than this morning. Jessica slowly slipped her hand to intertwine with Yuri hand and she holds it tightly. Yuri just allows it because she doesn’t have any more strength to do anything.

“Drink more water Yuri…” seeing how Yuri reaching the water with shaking hands, Jessica grab the water and offer Yuri who comply it. After that she wipe the water on Yuri mouth with her hanky, but she didn’t let go her hand on Yuri.

“Thanks…”

 

At her own room, Yuri being scolding by Boa about this and this is the third days Boa comes to scolding Yuri. “Blame it on Sooyoung who give her virus to Hyoyeon and then Hyoyeon give it to me then…my head hurt, I want to sleep now…scoots!!”

“You always like that when I come to scolding you! Get better soon, Taeyeon wedding is four day again! Even though you dislike her to death, public demand your face at that said party! Show your face there with smile even that’s forced one!”

Yuri fall asleep and wake up when she feel something cold on her forehead, like past few days. First day she couldn’t open her eye because dizzy, second day she dead sleep because medicine, third day which is now, she still recover…almost.

She know it’s Jessica and like today, Jessica will attend her and all, leave when dinner time and return to checking on her. And like pass few days, Jessica will return to her room after that without talking to her or that what she thought, Jessica sits near Yuri who seem sleep, “I know you didn’t sleep or you already awake now…” Jessica said while touching Yuri bang that covering her eye.

“Yes, awake when you put towel on me but that’s okay because I feel hungry by now. Thanks for taking care of me, Jessica-ssi…thank you very much for your concern…” Yuri said while sitting to reach nearby clock beside her. They stay silent, Jessica watching Yuri with her sad eye while Yuri seem close her eye because her head still feel light. 

The silent is awkward for Yuri because she didn’t understand why Jessica looking at her likes that, under her strong gaze. Slowly Jessica reach Yuri hand and hold it with both of her hands, while Yuri remain motionless and open her eye to see Jessica.

“Being unable to eat and sleep is the basic thing. Waking up in the middle of the night will become a daily routine. Because the one you love has turned into someone else, you also can’t whine to each other for the fear of being scolded by that person. So, you cry by yourself. But what hurts the most is that person doesn’t actually miss me like the way I do. It’s like that person has forgotten about me and is simply being happy alone. All you want to do is die, but you can’t die either… because you’re scared that you won’t see that person again. Did you know that feels? Do you?”

“No, no I don’t and never” Yuri softly said, because the look on Jessica face really hitting hard on her heart. Guilty…

“Well” Jessica trying to smile even though her tears already falling slowly, “I’m right now in that position and I’m sure…the pain…is…”

Yuri reaching tissue near her and offer it to Jessica, who take it but give Yuri sad smile. “Using tissue instead her hand to wipe my tears…not even her hanky…”

Yuri just slowly retracts her hand and balled it, while Jessica just force smile at Yuri and slowly she took Yuri balled fist to hold it. “If there’s someday there’s was a chance for me returns to you…I will never let go of this hands, no matter what happen…”

Yuri just sit there baffled with Jessica action, “What do you mean by that?”

Jessica put Yuri hand at her forehead, even though Yuri couldn’t see Jessica face she could feel Jessica tears, “As much as you wanted, I will give you everything as much as you wanted, no matter how many amount that you wanted. The love that being safely keep in me, is all I can give to you not my ity…I’m sorry, please forgive me…please understand my selfishness till the end…for still wanting of you”

“Jessica, please don’t cry…I don’t understand what you mean by that…please, raised your head and…”

Jessica just continues to sobbing while Yuri just sit there, didn’t know what to do. “Like a fool, till the end like a fool that wanting for your love that will never come again…like a fool that pretend everything is real even when she know everything just act…but still wanting for that illusion…can you allow me to keep this feeling even though you already disgusted by me…”   

Yuri just sits there, didn’t say anything or didn’t even move because she just sits there like a statue with unreadable expression of her.  Jessica slowly let got Yuri hand, wiper her tears and smile at Yuri who just reply it with blank stare. Jessica standing and slowly walking to door, slowly she turns around to see Yuri.

“Tonight, I will return to Korea…” please, say something…please stop me from leaving…please…

Yuri then smile at Jessica, “Jessica…thanks for coming here and accompany my holiday too, it was fun. Be safe on your way home and I’m sorry I couldn’t see you at airport because still recovering! But feel free to come by anytime you want!”

 

Yuri who sitting in front of her large window looking at the plane that fly in the night sky with her blank expression. “Are you okay to let her go just like that? I’m sorry that I enter your room without permission but I do need to do this, I hope you understand”

Yuri turn around to see Taeyeon who standing near doorframe alone, she just give couple second of stare and then goes to her table, “It’s you that should think something like that, she carry your child and yet you let her go just like that and I already said it before, I’m just stranger into this problem”

“She crying…when she left this palace, she’s crying…and she also said to me that you win Yuri, you win because she fall in love with you...”

 

 

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To Be Continue

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