25
It Began With A Bet
Baekhyun opened his eyes only to close them again. It was pitch dark in his room so he assumed that it was night, which it was. He d around on his bed for his phone but then he remembered that he had broke it. So Baekhyun ended up trying to sleep again, his whole body was aching, it felt like he had slept on sharp, hard rocks, not on his comfy bed. His stomach, though, didn't allow him to sleep. It hurt from the lack of food in it. But he didn't have any food in his kitchen, since its been a while from cooking in it. Besides, Baekhyun couldn't eat even if he wanted to, something was stuck in his throat and it made him so uncomfortable. He decided on sleeping again. That's all it seemed like he had to do.
The second time he was disrupted by the doorbell. He let it ring for a few long minutes until it was obvious that the person ringing wasn't going to give up. Baekhyun got up on weak legs and almost fell to the ground from the dizziness in his head. If it was Chanyeol he wasn't going to open, even if he stayed till dawn ringing.
Except it wasn't Chanyeol.
It was Luhan. At his house at 9pm. Should he open? Should he trust Luhan? Wasn't he Chanyeol's friend, just like Kai, who began this whole hateful thing? Baekhyun was still thinking about opening or not, but his hand was already unlocking the door.
He didn't know why he opened, but he just did, not knowing what to expect.
"Hey." Luhan smiled at him.
Baekhyun couldn't even force a fake smile.
"Aren't you going to let me in or what?" Luhan asked playfully, but Baekhyun still couldn't muster even a small tiny smile. He moved away from the door to let Luhan in. Baekhyun saw in the older's eyes something he yearned for unknowingly; honest concern.
They sat down on the couch, Baekhyun still not saying a word, after putting on the light to see in the dark, cold house. Luhan moved over beside Baekhyun when Baekhyun attempted to sit far away.
"Baekhyun," Luhan called for him softly."I know everything and I just want to tell you that I'm very very sorry for what Chanyeol and Kai did."
"You knew?" Baekhyun asked, his voice heavy with sleep and drowsiness.
"I just found out today....I'm sorry."
"Chanyeol is a complete mess, just like you. But he deserves it, I admit."
"If he told you to come then-" Baekhyun's temper was getting started.
"No, no! He doesn't know I'm here, I promise." Luhan rapidly replied, not wanting Baekhyun angry with him.
Baekhyun repeated Luhan's words in his head. Chanyeol a complete mess? But why? When did he and why would he even care?
"Baekhyun, do you..." Luhan looked at Baekhyun's side profile that was staring at the black empty tv."Do you love him?"
Baekhyun's gaze fell to the floor, to his feet and he remained silent. If only Luhan knew. He couldn't help the tears that were slowly falling.
"Do you?"
Baekhyun nodded without looking at Luhan. Chills went through his cold and lonley body. He couldn't lie about his love for Chanyeol. Even if Chanyeol himself asked him now, he still wouldn't be able to lie to him.
His tears increased quickly and soon he was sobbing quietly until Luhan abruptly hugged him in a friendly caring way, then Baekhyun just cried out loud.
"It'll be alright," Luhan rubbed his back for comfort."You know, I'm very sure that he loves you just as much. I'm not trying to convince you to go back to him, but I'm letting you know that you're not alone suffering."
"But w-why......" Baekhyun was cut of by his own sharp cries.
"And so you would know the real truth, he never had a girlfriend. You were his first ever, as far as I know, and I know nearly everything about Chanyeol. And I know he wouldn't be crying on his couch, even afraid to go to his bedroom to find you not there, only if he really likes you. Loves you in fact."
Baekhyun's cries were slowly calming down as he listened to Luhan, actually believing him in some things. He wasn't so sure Chanyeol loved him though, even if he did, Baekhyun didn't want to make himself believe something he just wanted to be true. And no matter what Luhan said, when that scene of Chanyeol kissing the girl came up still fresh in his mind, he felt his heart crush all over again.
"Whatever you do, it's your choice and I won't stop you. You have every right to leave him officially." Luhan lifted Baekhyun's head to have him face him."Just know that I'm here with you, whenever you need me. You're a wonderful person Baekhyun, and you don't deserve this."
Baekhyun only wiped his tears away, moving away from Luhan and muttering a small thank you in return.
"Are you coming to school tomorrow?" Luhan asked after a while of silence and Baekhyun gave him a look that clearly said he wasn't ready to go just yet.
"It's okay, stay here and rest. Do you have everything you need?"
"Yes," Baekhyun lied. His kitchen was empty and he needed food. But what he needed more that he didn't have was Chanyeol. The Chanyeol before all this chaos happened. Or maybe even this Chanyeol. He didn't really care anymore. He just needed Chanyeol.
"Alright then, I'll leave for now." Luhan stood up and walked to the door."Goodbye,"
"Bye." Baekhyun waved slightly then closed the door after Luhan left.
Baekhyun ended up lying on his couch, trying to sleep again. But sleep didn't seem to want him anymore. So he just sat there. He wished none of this happened and he wished he and Chanyeol had gotten together in a different and better way. Because if that happened, then right now he would be kissing Chanyeol and Chanyeol would be holding him before they fall asleep near each other, feeling safe and happy. It would be so nice. It could have been so nice.
Baekhyun smiled just a bit before it turned into a frown and he burst into tears again, not knowing what exactly he was crying for. Was it because he missed Chanyeol so much already or was it because it still hurt knowing what Chanyeol did to him?
His cries were the only sound in the small quiet house. Baekhyun didn't like the silence so he switched on the tv, not really caring about what was on it.
Was Chanyeol not even going to try again to get him back? Doesn't he want him like Baekhyun wants Chanyeol? Baekhyun thought he was going to try again because he secretly wanted Chanyeol to come back to him, to show that he cared; if he cared. Chanyeol had cried when he came the first time, and it was Baekhyun's first time to see him cry. Maybe Chanyeol cared but truthfully Baekhyun was so confused and he didn't know who or what to believe anymore. He just hated this so much.
~~~~~~~~
It's been about one hour since Chanyeol awoke but he couldn't move from his spot. It was about ten in the morning and he should be at school, but school was last on his muddled mind.
He remembered that night he and Baekhyun had slept on this same couch and how nice it was embracing Baekhyun in his arms, kissing him and staring at him like he could never get enough. Chanyeol's chest felt so empty, as if there was a big hole in it and it hurt so ing much, he couldn't breathe. Why can't Baekhyun just forgive him and come back? He really couldn't take this kind of searing pain.
Chanyeol was afraid to go anywhere else in the house for he would be reminded of their memories and the pain would increase even more; Chanyeol wasn't strong enough to accept it. He was truly sorry for everything that happened. After lying around doing nothing but regretting and missing Baekhyun for nearly another two hours Chanyeol decided he wasn't going to give up on Baekhyun that easily. He couldn't, he was going to try and try again and again to get him back. Baekhyun was worth everything and Chanyeol would do anything until Baekhyun forgave him.
Chanyeol stood up, feeling weak and heavy he walked to the kitchen. The kitchen felt so weird and it felt even weirder when Chanyeol was making his own sandwich- the one he learnt from Baekhyun- and it completely eating without Baekhyun. Chanyeol kept his food half uneaten and left to his room. He quickly closed the closet so he would stop seeing the sight of it half empty, that kept tearing his heart. The bed was still made since Baekhyun made it yesterday morning . It was as if it was waiting for both Chanyeol and Baekhyun to sleep on it together again.
Chanyeol quietly took his towel and entered the bathroom. He noticed that Baekhyun's tooth brush was still there, beside his. He willed himself to look away and strip to get in the shower before he began crying again. He had to be ready to go to Baekhyun again. Although he wasn't going to go until late in the afternoon, because Baekhyun may have went to school and he wouldn't be at home now. So even after he showered he still had to wait.
Around four in the afternoon Chanyeol was still lounging around his house -still gathering his courage and getting his words straight to ask for Baekhyun's forgiveness- when Luhan and Sehun came over. Chanyeol was ashamed to show his face to his friends; especially Luhan who lost it on him yesterday and left abruptly without offering any help to Chanyeol because he was so angry at him. Chanyeol believed he deserved it anyway.
"Why didn't you come to school?" Luhan asked straightforwardly, dropping his backpack on the floor.
"Don't want to." Chanyeol replied, his expression grave and tired.
Sehun looked at him in a way Chanyeol didn't really understand. He looked like he felt sorry for him but it also looked like he was upset with him too. He didn't mind the whole world hating him, except his friends and Baekhyun, especially Baekhyun. That, Chanyeol couldn't handle.
"You didn't go, Baekhyun didn't go, and even Kai didn't go," Luhan pursed his lips as Chanyeol just stood there silently, behind the couch.
He should've went earlier to Baekhyun, if only he knew Baekhyun didn't go to school then he would have.
"And just to let you know, Kai and Kyungsoo aren't speaking to each other." Sehun came in the conversation."Kyungsoo's really angry with Kai. And Kai looks like he's about to give up on life."
It was silent for a few minutes, it was awkward and Chanyeol detested it so much because it was never awkward with his friends. He also hated that Kai and Kyungsoo weren't on good terms because of what he and Kai did. Life had never this much before.
"What are you going to do now?" Luhan questioned out of the blue. Chanyeol knew what he was talking about and his answer was ready. He just needed to do it now, before it was too late. That was his mistake from the beginning; being too late.
"I'm going to Baekhyun and I'm going to try again." He said in a small voice causing Luhan to turn around and finally look at him.
"When?"
"Now."
"Well....good luck then." Luhan got up to his feet suddenly and grabbed his backpack."Chanyeol," he stopped his steps and turned back around."He loves you, you hurt him, and you should do everything to get him to at least forgive you. And......don't force him into anything. That's the most important."
"Okay," Chanyeol replied under his breath. He knew even though Luhan was mad at him he still cared about Chanyeol. And Chanyeol wanted and had to fix this; for Baekhyun and for his friends.
~~~~~
Baekhyun didn't know what or when or how anymore. All he knew was that his heart was in so much pain of what he was finally coming up to do with this issue. He had been thinking ever since Luhan left last night and even when he went out for a quick breakfast this morning and he just never stopped thinking. Baekhyun was going back to school tomorrow and if he met up with Chanyeol he would apologize and tell him everything he needed to.
Right when Baekhyun decided to clean up the mess he made yesterday, after breaking his mirror, the doorbell rang. He assumed it was Luhan so he walked up to the door but before he opened it, he checked.
His heart raced in an incredible speed in his chest and his eyes burned with already upcoming tears when he saw Chanyeol standing there. He was so handsome as always, and now Baekhyun wasn't angry like yesterday so he admitted to himself that he just wanted to run to Chanyeol's arms and hold him like his life depended on it. Baekhyun still loved him despite everything but he had to do what he had to do. The best for both of them.
He opened the door.
Neither said a word when their eyes first met. They both felt like all they needed was right before them but so so far away from their reach.
"Baek...."
I miss you.
Everything that Chanyeol had planned to say was far gone from his head once he saw Baekhyun again. He just wanted to kiss him but.....he couldn't. Not when Baekhyun didn't want to. Not when Baekhyun didn't even want to see him. But why did he open the door in the first place and why hasn't he closed it if he knew it was Chanyeol?
"I'm sorry." Chanyeol said in the midst of the silence.
"It's okay." Was Baekhyun's only reply.
It's okay? It's not okay. Since when was it okay? Chanyeol was puzzled.
"I'm sorry for not believing you yesterday. I'm sorry for accusing you of having a girlfriend when you don't, a-and I'm sorry for yelling over you." Baekhyun said in a low voice, looking everywhere but at Chanyeol.
Chanyeol was now extremely confused. Baekhyun shouldn't be apologizing for anything. He was perfect. It was a good thing to Chanyeol that Baekhyun believed him now but he still shouldn't be apologizing. Chanyeol should be doing that instead.
"Don't.....Baekhyun, just stop apologizing." Chanyeol tried to catch Baekhyun's eyes with his."I'm the one that should be saying sorry, and here I am, I came to apologize for every thing. I swear to you that I never, never meant this to happen and that I do care about you. I'm just really really sorry Baekhyun, and I want you to forgive me and........maybe even come back...."
Because I can't live without you.
"I forgive you," That easily? Chanyeol's lips were just about to form a smile but then,"But I can't come back."
Chanyeol felt all his hope crash away.
"Why?" Chanyeol felt like he couldn't talk anymore, his eyebrows were furrowed and angst was written all over his face.
"Chanyeol...." Baekhyun took a deep breath and Chanyeol could see tears at the corner of his eyes."These past three weeks were great and I want to thank you for making them that way. But....we just......we don't belong together. We're both still young and this isn't what we think it is. We'll forget someday-"
"I can't. I won't forget, Baekhyun." Chanyeol wanted to tell him to stop talking because Baekhyun's words were sharp knifes to his already weak heart.
"You will. You'll find someone better than me, that'll take care of you and you'll love them so much, t-then you'll forget."
"But I-I love you-" Chanyeol was getting angry, sad, and he just wanted Baekhyun to stop saying things like this, he couldn't, he just couldn't.
"No, you only think you do. I'm not the one for you Chanyeol."
"Baekhy-"
"Like that girl said, you're a prince, I'm just a nerd." A tear and another fell from Baekhyun's eyes.
"Don't believe her! I'm nothing without you Baekhyun, nothing. Just....please." Chanyeol didn't know what he was begging for anymore. He wished he could kill that hateful girl; he probably would for Baekhyun's sake.
"No, Chanyeol, it'll be better for both of us if we let go now." Baekhyun looked down at his hands, his tears now increasing with every word his lips were taking out. It was for the best, it was for the best, he kept repeating in his mind in order to control himself so he won't just run to Chanyeol and hold him and kiss him and every thing he wanted to do. Every thing he was letting go of at that very moment.
"We can just go back to what we were. Nothing." But Baekhyun going back to what he was meant loving Chanyeol from far away just like before, but now with more pain than he knew.
Chanyeol couldn't move a muscle. He wanted to stop Baekhyun from thinking that way and he wanted to say so many things like how he couldn't live a minute without Baekhyun or how much he really truly did and still does love Baekhyun and so many things that wouldn't come out of him. But then Luhan's words came violently crashing back in his mind, repeating over and over again like a mantra.
'Don't force him into anything.'
If this is what Baekhyun wanted then Chanyeol was going to have to do it, except the forgetting and loving someone else part; that was impossible. Impossible. Chanyeol thought no one in the world could be replaced by Baekhyun; he was far too precious and special to Chanyeol. A long moment of silence passed.
"Okay," Chanyeol barely let that word out. His tongue felt so heavy."I'll go."
Baekhyun stayed quiet. He privily wished that Chanyeol wouldn't agree that easily. He sniffed a few times as he stared down at his feet. Baekhyun knew Chanyeol was looking at him and he didn't dare to lift his gaze because he was afraid that he'll take back his words if he met Chanyeol's eyes.
"Can I," Baekhyun closed his eyes when he heard Chanyeol's voice, which was now practically dripping with sadness. Baekhyun hated himself."Can I get one last hug?"
Baekhyun looked up, eyes watering again at Chanyeol's words. Chanyeol seemed so dejected with that look on his face. If he wanted a hug then Baekhyun was going to give it to him. He too, needed that one last hug.
Baekhyun stepped forward without a word until he was facing Chanyeol's chest, actually hearing his heartbeats. In the next moment Chanyeol wrapped his arms around him and Baekhyun practically melted in Chanyeol's tight embrace. Chanyeol moved one hand to the back of Baekhyun's head and pushed him further and closer to him, holding him tighter. Baekhyun couldn't help but take in a deep breath of Chanyeol's unique scent that he loved, he was on the verge of throwing his arms around Chanyeol and beg into his chest to please not go anywhere.
I need you, I need you to stay, Baekhyun wished he could tell Chanyeol.
Baekhyun kept his arms to his sides, not knowing what to do with them. If he was going to hold Chanyeol he was positive that he would never let him go then, so he kept still. Then Baekhyun was crying shakily again into Chanyeol's chest; he couldn't hold in anymore so he let all his tears stain his cheeks and the fabric of Chanyeol's shirt.
It hurt. Everything was hurting.
Chanyeol was tearing up too, but very silently. He couldn't cry anymore in front of Baekhyun. He didn't want to let go of the smaller male, he wasn't ready; he never will be ready. The pain in his chest eased just a bit when he hugged Baekhyun close but he knew that when he'll be gone, it'll be unbearable.
When he did let go, Baekhyun kept his eyes on Chanyeol's chest, not daring to look up at the taller's face. But he did anyway, only when Chanyeol placed his hand on the back of Baekhyun's head again and kissed his forehead tenderly. So gentle and sincere that it made Baekhyun cry even more. Then Chanyeol pulled back and looked in Baekhyun's eyes, wiped a tear away and whispered lowly,"Goodbye. Take care of yourself."
Baekhyun's breath was stuck in his throat and his lips were trembling as he watched with sorrowful eyes, Chanyeol walking away from him. All he wanted to do was scream and yell for Chanyeol to come back but he couldn't, he couldn't do a thing but cry. Even when Chanyeol got in his car and drove away, he still remained crying, sobbing by then. His feet moved him heavily back into his house and as soon as Baekhyun closed the door, he fell to the floor and cried out loud, louder than any other time. His body was curled up on the floor from the extreme pain in his heart. Why did this have to happen; he was so happy with Chanyeol. But now it was all over. It was really over. And Baekhyun was completely devastated inside.
"C-Chanyeol~" He whimpered lowly the name of his one and only love that he just left. If Chanyeol were to come back right now Baekhyun would run into his arms and tell him that he loves him and that he wants to stay with only him. Baekhyun would really do it, but Chanyeol didn't come.
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Ok. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU FOR YOUR COMMENTS. REALLY. And thank you for subscribing and thank you for just reading this junk. Yeah.
I`m sorry and I love you all.
You guys are so kind to me /cries/
guys im done with the last chapter but too afraid to post it cause it might ;(
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