26
It Began With A Bet
He didn't know to where he was driving but he knew he had been on the road for at least a whole hour. Chanyeol felt empty and emotionless, as if his soul had been out of him. He knew it was best for him that he would stop driving while his eyes were spilling tears and blurring his eyesight but he couldn't stop. He was at a place that was trees and woods only and it was almost getting dark but all that was on his mind was Baekhyun and not having Baekhyun anymore and how haunting that was to him. It was so wrong because all he wanted was Baekhyun, nothing else.
Nothing.
Nothing.
"I just want him! God ing damn it!" Chanyeol pressed breaks and hit the steering wheel with his balled up fists, he was so furious, so depressed, life was so unfair.
He managed to drive to the side so other cars could go by but that's where he stayed; to the side of the road in the middle of nowhere. He didn't want to see anyone anymore and it would be great if he could just drive off a cliff, except there was no cliff around him.
With the car turned off, Chanyeol reclined his seat and lied back on it. He covered his face with his jacket and just sat there with his own misery to deal with alone.
-
Baekhyun was awoken by steady knocking on the door, right at his head. He opened his eyes but couldn't see anything, it was dark and he knew he was still lying down behind his front door. His head was pounding and he wanted nothing more than to sleep forever, to run away from reality. When the knocking became a little louder, he was reminded that someone was still at the door. His whole being hurt, inside and out and he didn't want to meet up with another person. Baekhyun didn't have the energy to do a single thing. But being him, he got up and looked through blurry eyes at who was at the door from the window.
Baekhyun was surprised and inwardly relieved when he found his very own cousin, Suho, standing at the door with his phone at his ear and a suitcase beside his legs. Suho, his favorite cousin, the one that took care of him more than anyone and the only one that came to visit him and even stay over for a week or two after Baekhyun had moved in alone. Baekhyun needed him now more than ever and he was so thankful for his visit right now. So he quickly unlocked the door, eager for his cousin to make him feel better. Because he felt like crap.
"Baekhyunnie, my baby cousin!" Suho yelled in joy when he opened the door and immediately hugged the stiff Baekhyun."Why aren't you answering your phone or even your door? I was freezing out there, you know."
Baekhyun didn't say anything. He didn't trust his voice. Suho pulled away from him and switched on the light. Baekhyun knew Suho felt something was wrong, this wasn't the way he reacted when they rejoiced. Baekhyun lowered his head to the ground.
"Baekhyun?" Suho's voice changed, here came the concerned and worried Suho, instead of the normally cheerful Suho.
"What's wrong?" His cousin lifted his head forcefully to make Baekhyun look at him."Why are you crying? What happened Baekhyunnie? Tell me."
Baekhyun wasn't ready to speak right now. It was obvious and Suho knew him enough to understand. He closed the door and led Baekhyun to the living room a few feet away,"Come here."
They sat down on the couch, with Suho's arm still around Baekhyun's shoulders. Minutes and minutes passed with both of them not saying anything, Suho was patient and he knew Baekhyun needed time so he gave it to him. When he thought Baekhyun was ready he spoke up.
"Ready to tell me now?" His voice was soft and caring, coaxing Baekhyun into relaxation. He nodded and then he spoke of everything that had happened to him this past month. In just one month his life took such a large turn. His words surprised his cousin because Baekhyun wasn't even the type to date or move into other people's houses like that. But despite being shocked and still confused, Suho understood his younger cousin. By the end of the story Baekhyun was mourning again, his swollen eyes seemed like they weren't ever going to empty out all the tears, no matter how much he cried. It just hurt so bad how much he loved, wanted, and needed Chanyeol.
"I never could have imagined that Byun Baekhyun would ever fall in love." Baekhyun only sniffed at the words as he felt pain sting in his heart. Stupid love. He wished he never met it.
"Go wash up, then let's get something to eat. You look so thin now." Suho said, taking care of his cousin like always, except now he needed extra care, more than ever. Baekhyun got up to the bathroom, washed his face and looked at the mirror. Almost immediately he looked away, he was a total mess. So he decided on taking a shower to clean himself and also to try to wash away all his worries and pain.
Suho left to the kitchen and was nearly furious to find it empty of food. What was Baekhyun eating when it's been a day or so since he came back? He checked everywhere but found nothing, just plates and cups and everything that wasn't eatable. Suho was just about to go to Baekhyun to question him about that but he heard the shower running so he decided to let it go and just run over to the closest grocery shop. He yelled to Baekhyun and told him where he was going to go. And with an okay from Baekhyun he left.
He went and came back but Baekhyun still hadn't gotten out of the shower. So he rolled his suitcase to Baekhyun's bedroom, like every time he came over. Seeing broken glass all over the floor, Suho sighed and without thinking he began cleaning up the mess. During his cleaning up Suho gathered all the pieces of Baekhyun's broken phone.
That's why he wasn't answering.
As he was finishing up, Baekhyun emerged into the bedroom in his bathrobe, all wet and clean, looking much better than before.
Suho smiled at him."Since when was my cousin so reckless enough to break things, especially his phone?"
"I was...just," Baekhyun stammered over his words. So he shut his mouth instead.
"It's alright. Just get dressed while I go make something to eat." Suho patted his shoulder and left to the kitchen.
-
Chanyeol's phone was ringing like crazy and he just sat there, ignoring it. He knew it was Luhan, wanting to know what happened but he didn't want to talk about what happened. Because what happened was making him fall apart, piece by piece, right there and right then as he was lying in his car. It was getting harder for him to breathe and he needed fresh air before he fainted inside the car and finally after much thought he decided to just drive back home and to at least try to take this like a man. Except whatever he did, he wouldn't be able to accept reality because Baekhyun.........Chanyeol needed him more than air.
He left all windows open as he drove back they way he came to that unknown place. Chanyeol glanced to his right, wishing Baekhyun was sitting beside him with his head and hands out the window, playing and laughing at the wind like that day they went out to the field. He was so beautiful that day, every day he was beautiful. By each passing day he became more gorgeous to Chanyeol. Chanyeol didn't know how but Baekhyun made so many things possible that seemed unimaginable to Chanyeol.
Like for example; love. Chanyeol never thought he would love anyone that much and that quick and that painfully deep. But then came Baekhyun and Chanyeol fell for every little detail about Baekhyun. Baekhyun was all of a sudden everything to Chanyeol. It was absurd.
When Chanyeol finally got to his home, he was actually scared to go in again. He couldn't stand being in there alone, without the smaller boy that lighted up his whole huge house with his radiant smile. But Chanyeol went in anyway, feeling totally lost and drunk. He couldn't sleep, he couldn't eat, he couldn't do anything. He only drowned himself like the idiot he was, in the memories he had with Baekhyun. Chanyeol felt haunted and practically dead. He was awake but his world was half asleep. It was crazy the way he felt himself slip away from his own grip when he now knew that Baekhyun was gone; not his anymore. Without Baekhyun he just felt incomplete.
He wasn't like Baekhyun. Baekhyun the next day went to school even though the thought of seeing Chanyeol frightened and terrified him but he had to begin somewhere to going back to his old life. He was lucky to have his cousin come just at the right time to give him the courage he needed.
Chanyeol was a wimp and decided to just skip school again. If he saw Baekhyun then he'd probably jump off the roof, because he couldn't kiss him, he couldn't hug him, he couldn't even hold those delicate hands. Chanyeol missed Baekhyun like crazy.
At school, it seemed like everyone knew about his and Chanyeol's breakup. Lots of people Baekhyun passed by were talking about how Baekhyun was coming to school alone, not with Chanyeol in his luxurious car, and how Baekhyun was just part of a bet and that Chanyeol never really liked him.
Baekhyun wanted to run away from the building when he heard anything about that stupid bet. But he couldn't, it'll eventually go away, it just needed time so he convinced his self that he had to stay strong.
After their first class ended, Luhan went up to Baekhyun but he didn't ask about what happened between him and Chanyeol yesterday. He didn't say a word about Chanyeol, much to Baekhyun's relief. They simply talked about the homework and lessons Baekhyun had missed out on the day he was absent. Kyungsoo was there too but he barely said a word, he seemed too engrossed in something else the whole time.
Those two girls that caused all of this didn't speak to Baekhyun. And Baekhyun tried his best to keep far away from them. He really wanted to tear Stella's hair out for kissing Chanyeol but it wasn't supposed to matter to him anymore. Chanyeol wasn't his, anyone could have Chanyeol now and he wouldn't be able to protest at all. But it hurt so much thinking about someone else having Chanyeol, someone else kissing, holding, cooking for, sleeping with, even talking with Chanyeol. Baekhyun tried his best to keep that out his mind so he won't burst out crying at school. He was the one that chose this anyway so he had to get over his jealousy.
When he thought about it, he felt like he was supposed to be thanking them for waking him from his dream.....that was only a dream and nothing more. Actually, it was more like he was living a lie. Baekhyun should really be thankful that they made him realize that.
When it was time to go home, Baekhyun thanked God that he didn't see Chanyeol today. He was glad that he would be going home to his cousin, where he would feel safe. While he was doing his homework, Baekhyun remembered the days he was tutoring Chanyeol with his math and he couldn't help the few tears that escaped his eyes. He stopped himself quickly though; no more crying at all was his new rule.
Suho was almost exactly like a mother to Baekhyun. He cooked for Baekhyun while he was doing his homework, staying until after dark since he had to make up for yesterday's homework. Baekhyun was glad he had lots of work so be could just drown himself in numbers and letters that helped him not think about Chanyeol.
Chanyeol on the other hand was doing nothing but thinking about Baekhyun. Nothing but that. Luhan had came to him after school and let him know that Baekhyun was back in school already and he demanded Chanyeol to tell him what happened exactly.
Chanyeol did. Kyungsoo and Sehun were also there, so they knew too.
"So, now it's over?" Luhan asked slowly as if he wasn't believing Chanyeol."He won't come back to you?"
"He thinks he's not good enough for me. How ing ridiculous is that?" Chanyeol gritted through his teeth.
"Very ridiculous." Luhan sighed at his tall friend's screwed up state.
Luhan looked at Chanyeol sitting on the floor of his living room then to his boyfriend and Kyungsoo standing there silently. He gave the two a look and they immediately understood him and left to the car.
Once they were alone Luhan moved over to Chanyeol, who was practically glued to that one spot. He could see that Chanyeol was trying to hold in his tears.
"It's okay," Luhan squeezed Chanyeol's shoulder but Chanyeol only shook his head over and over again.
"It's not okay, nothing is ok. Luhan, I can't ing live without him. I just can't."
Luhan resisted the urge to say "obviously" out loud.
"Chanyeol, if that's want he wanted then you have to go with it." Luhan said softly."If you really love him then do what he wants-"
"He wants me to forget him. How the hell do I do that?" Chanyeol looked at the older with begging eyes."Luhan, go tell him that I need him and I... I just really really love him. Tell him I'd do anything for him to come back. Please, I can't take this pain anymore. I w-want him here, now." Chanyeol was pulling at Luhan's arm desperately, and Luhan just froze because he knew he couldn't do anything; his hands were tied. He couldn't handle seeing Chanyeol crying, it wasn't a sight he was used to. But he still wasn't capable of doing anything.
Luhan carefully pulled his arm away from Chanyeol's grip and said in a low voice."I'll be right back."
He left to his car where Sehun and Kyungsoo were still waiting for him.
"I'm staying here tonight, he can't be left alone." He told the other two and they both nodded.
Luhan glanced at his younger boyfriend."Go home tonight, ok."
"Ok." Sehun replied, even though he'd rather stay with Luhan but he knew Chanyeol needed him more now.
"And you," Kyungsoo whipped his head towards Luhan, he knew that tone was for him."Stop being stubborn and make up with Kai."
"I don't want to talk to him." Kyungsoo said simply.
"You're going to have to. You both need each other so sooner or later you're going to talk. I don't want problems from each direction. Chanyeol's is enough, and you know that."
"But he needs to learn that people aren't toys to joke around with." The younger male shot back a bit too harshly. He wasn't going to admit but he missed Kai even though they were in the same house, they haven't been talking, eating, or even sleeping together. But he was still angry at his boyfriend, really disappointed in him so he decided to stay away from him for awhile. Kyungsoo really liked Baekhyun, even before Chanyeol dated him, so he wasn't going to forgive Kai that easily.
"Kyungsoo, he's not going to learn if you ignore him. Communication is the key, so communicate. Stop being mindless, please." Luhan retorted, his head starting to ache from all the stress he was receiving from his friends.
Kyungsoo didn't reply, he only bit his lip and stared ahead. Then Luhan silently drove Sehun home and dropped Kyungsoo off at their apartment building. Back at Chanyeol's house, Luhan didn't see Chanyeol in his previous spot so he searched the house until he found Chanyeol in the kitchen, staring at the broken glass that he had placed on the counter. Luhan walked over to him, looking at the glass and recognizing it almost immediately. They were the mugs they had found broken near the front door on that day.
"Baekhyun is so beautiful, don't you think?" Chanyeol surprised Luhan with the unexpected question. He was gazing longingly at the piece of glass that still had Baekhyun and his radiant smile on it. If that had broken apart Chanyeol didn't know what he was going to do.
Luhan smiled bitterly,"Yes, he is beautiful."
"We went to take pictures that day." Chanyeol said, smiling sadly."He was so cute when he was shy. Or when he blushed...."
"Chanyeol-"
"That same day a stupid lowlife tried to bully him in the store, and Baek was almost a willing victim." Chanyeol ignored Luhan and kept talking, to himself and Luhan at the same time."He doesn't stick up for himself, I can't leave him alone. He thinks too little of himself, he's so selfless but I don't want him to be like that. He might get hurt and that's the last thing I would want to happen."
"He can take care of himself." Luhan tried to reassure Chanyeol but it was to no use.
"He's way too vulnerable." Chanyeol murmured as he shook his head rapidly,"I stupidly took that to my advantage. I'm a devil, who hurt a precious angel."
"You're not a devil. It's just fate, this was meant to happen. This may have been a lesson for both of you to learn. It's......life."
Chanyeol remained quiet for the rest of the day as Luhan did his homework and cooked for both of them, watching over Chanyeol the whole time. Chanyeol let Luhan sleep on his bed but as for him, he wasn't sleeping on it until Baekhyun was in his arms again. He still had some hope and he wasn't letting go just yet. So he slept, slept actually meant rolling over and over again on the couch, unable to get rest as the night became ten times longer. And a million times lonelier.
The whole week passed and Chanyeol still didn't go to school. Luhan stayed with him for two more days and when he saw that Chanyeol was in a slightly better condition to take care of himself, he left back to his apartment and was relieved to see Kyungsoo speaking to Kai again. Kai was following Kyungsoo every where, like a puppy. It looked like he learned a lesson because to Kai, a mad Kyungsoo at him was the world ending. Luhan checked on Baekhyun during school and also found out about Suho, and even met him briefly when he came one day to pick Baekhyun up from school. Luhan checked on Chanyeol too, by calling him every day, trying to convince him to go back to school since he was missing out on a lot. Chanyeol only claimed he wasn't ready yet. Even though it has been exactly eleven days since Baekhyun left him, he still wasn't ready.
The first day was hell, the second day was even more of a hellish day. Chanyeol tried to live normally but no matter how hard he tried, it was impossible. Each day he missed Baekhyun more and more. He missed kissing Baekhyun, he missed hugging him. He missed Baekhyun's heart-warming smile, he missed Baekhyun's voice and his adorable laugh. He missed Baekhyun's food, he missed holding his beautiful hands, and he missed those shining eyes that always stared back into his. Chanyeol even sat one day and grabbed a pencil and paper and wrote each and every little thing he missed about Byun Baekhyun, before letting out hot painful tears. His chest ached to have Baekhyun held against it once again.
He was actually going insane, he missed Baekhyun so much, more and more by the hour. He dreamed of Baekhyun when he was finally able to sleep for a few hours a day. So technically he never left Chanyeol's mind; he never left Chanyeol's withering heart too.
Chanyeol was depressed and he knew that. More than anything now, he wanted to see Baekhyun, even if it was from far away. He just had to.
Not surprised, Chanyeol found himself driving the same route to Baekhyun's home at 7pm but at the last moment, at the last turn he went against his intentions and drove to a place that he'd seen before but never ever thought of going to. Now he was going to go, he needed that place desperately for he needed to rest and he needed to forget, even temporarily. Without second thoughts, Chanyeol got himself drunk for the very first time. Anything to forget.
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For some of you that noticed Chanpter 25 did get deleted for some reason (It wasnt me), but it came back pretty fast by itself, which was weird. I`m sorry about that.
And I really really want to reply to comments but I dont know why I didnt do that from the very begining (which was dumb). Now I think its kinda too late, even though I still want to. Well anyway, I hope you enjoyed this and thank you a million times for your support! :)
guys im done with the last chapter but too afraid to post it cause it might ;(
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