It was yet again, another cold night in that deadly silent, deadly abandon hospital room..

I looked to the table aside of my bed, I smiled seeing the pack of lilac arranged beautifully in that vase… the one Luna brought me this morning..

I sighed, staring at the pure darkness painting the ceiling of the room, the same thoughts, depressing ones attacking my brain cells..

Heart ache, new operation, another valve in that broken beating muscle of mine was nearly damaged, so I had to go through the same marathon to fix it yet once again..

I had to redo many things in life aside from that…

I had to pretend that this was merely a regular check-up, when it hurts like 100 needles engraved down in my veins..

I squeezed my eyes shut, I wasn’t the type to allow my tears to fall off..

This has been the routine ever since… ever since I was 18..

You should be used to this by now Jongwoon-ah..

I smiled despite the clench in my chest.. that name.. when was the last time someone called me by that name?..

~~~~~

“OUCH hyung that hurts!!”

“hahahahahahaha my bad….” I looked at Kibum grumpy expression as I slapped his arm, we just finished with a blood donation session some time ago..

“I thought Aliee noona was going to join in..” Kibum said, massaging the position where the bandage was covering the vein in which the needle was positioned to draw some blood of his.

“she said the shop was puking people today hahaha winter is around the corner, so many people are buying coats and gloves and so on a bit earlier since its prices are manageable for now…”

“okay… so what about lunch? She won’t be able to meet up with us for lunch at least?”

“ I guess she can spare an hour for us during lunch break, let me call her, I will need to use the toilet for now, wait for me…” I said before throwing my best friend one cheesy smile.

~~~~~

“please let me help you Mr. Kim” a male nurse tried to help Yesung stand on his feet before the later slapped his hand away.

“move that damn hand of yours off of me… I can do this myself…”

“but…”

“GO AWAY!!” he screamed.. and just as told, the male nurse turned around and left the toilet with a deep sigh.

Yesung struggled to stand properly as his legs were going numb due to the medication he is taking..

Endure it woon-ah… three more days and I will leave this ty place.. this is the worst hospital I’ve been in.. damn this luck!

He was about to run the water from the tap when he felt his vision blurring.. he held into the wall to his right before the dizziness take over him… he passed out feeling his body shivering, cold sweat dropping off of his neck and a warm pair of arms embracing him…

~~~~~

I blinked my eyes… I saw someone.. a guy.. with a pair of worried eyes… shaking me lightly..

“hyung…. Hyung are you okay?” I felt him palming my face… my nose and lips..

“Dear god is this blood? Oh man………”

And I let the tiresome take over me…

I don’t want to fight anymore..

I don’t want to pretend anymore..

I just need… an eternal escape….

~~~~~

KiBum POV

I looked at Siwon hyung uneasy expression as we get into my car.

“the doctor said it’s a side effect of the medication he is taking, you really shouldn’t overthink of some random guy’s bad health status hyung, he has some more capable people to take good care of him….”

He gave me a blank look before turning his attention to the road as I started the engine.

It took us around 20 minutes to reach “BHs” where Aliee noona work, she was excited to join in for lunch..

“are you gonna sulk till the very end?’” she asked as we ordered our food, we end up in a small café next to her work place.

Siwon smiled faintly, playing with the edge of the empty plate in front of him.

“you had a busy day?” I asked, trying to distract the gloomy mood.

“hell yes, if Zhoumi oppa wasn’t around I would have passed out!”

“speaking of Zhoumi, I saw him running out of the shop the moment we arrived, his facial expression was unreadable…” I commented.

She sighed.

“yeah, he received a call from his friend, their other friend just passed out, he is receiving a treatment for his heart from, what was it called?... ahh!! - Con heart malformation – poor thing, such a young man”

I saw Siwon hyung moving his attention fully to his older sister.

“do you know in which hospital he is being treated?”

“I don’t, actually, based on Zhoumi, his friend keep switching hospitals, he isn’t the friendly type so the staff can’t really bear with his attitude, he clearly is a pitiful guy!”

“WON-AH, BUM-AH” we all turn to the direction of the sound… it was EunHyuk hyung..

The gloomy mood from earlier vanished in a matter of seconds as Hyuk took over his famous gag man position, I don’t remember laughing this much in weeks.. I looked at Siwon hyung regaining his usual bright smile and I yearned to the days were S.H.E were still rookies, who knew that I will end up being the best friend of the members of a band I hated so much.. hahahaha.. although S.H.E didn’t survive for more than 2 years before disbandment, they still shine as if they are fresh trainees, with so much passion and dreams to share their music with the world.. but who knows? Maybe the destiny is hiding for each of them something better than what they would’ve gotten if they proceed in showbiz industry.. EunHyuk hyung is already a well-known host of a popular variety show for teens.. Siwon hyung on the other hand has always been living his life freely, he worked in every possible job, starting from bus driver for elementary school kids to a waiter to a dustman.. he just can’t stick to one job, he loves moving around, meeting new people and spreading joy everywhere..

“there is still no news from Hae?” I heard Siwon hyung asking.

“he called me before going to Canada, he said he will be back around this time of the month because his friend is having a surgery so he want to be around when that happens…” Hyuk answered while shoving a spoon of pasta into his mouth.

“what’s with everyone having sick friends… GOD!” Aliee noona commented.

“sadly….” Said Siwon hyung before averting his eyes to look through the glass barrier that separate our table from the street, monitoring some random passing people.

“I wish he’ll call..”

He murmured, and I crossed my arms thinking that maybe, he didn’t tell me the full story of what exactly happened between him and the other guy in the toilet.

End of POV

~~~~~

I held into Luna’s hand as she nagged that we should go on a short walk aroud the ward.

“am tired..”

“I know but you should walk a bit more, otherwise your legs will stay numb and you will pass out just like the other day…”

I stopped for a second, I gave a side look to my behind..

He isn’t planning to stop this anytime soon, is he?

“Luna… am kinda thirsty, can you get me some fresh juice? I can wait here, the cafeteria is 5 minutes away to the left..”

“sure… I’ll be back in a minute…” she said before passing me a clutch to lean on in until she comes back.

I turned around, the stranger was now smiling stupidly before raising three fingers as a way of greeting I would say.

“when are you planning to quit stalking me?”

“am not…” he answered, and if am not mistaken, I was greeted with a pair of dimples adding to that tall, annoyingly good-looking guy some… charm?

“fine…” I rolled my eyes. “thanks for yesterday.. T.H.A.N.K.Y.O.U very much… now would you please go away?”

He took few steps closer and my eyebrows met in annoyance.

“you didn’t call… I made sure to write my phone number on your palm.. was blue ink a bad choice?” he scratched his forehead and I frowned.

“I can sue you for harassment you know…?”

He laughed… he laughed so hard and I found myself sighing..

I felt a hand tapping my shoulder..

“oppa… your… drink…” Luna passed me the juice with an awkward smile on her face.

“oh just ignore him he is just ….”

“Choi Siwon-ssi… am a friend of the smart-pants hyung over here who happen to be your….?”

“Elder brother.. am Luna.. nice to meet you Siwon-ssi” she answered with a smile, as both shook hands.

I glared at him and he shrugged his shoulders.

“the honour is mine, I assume your beloved oppa has an ugly pet name, I would love to call him with…” he initiates in an obvious attempt to try and know my name.

“hahahaha… actually I love to call him woon oppa, but he still has a unique name, doesn’t he?” she smiled and I grinned, he wasn’t getting what he wanted.

“is it? I always thought it’s a stupid one!”

“YAAA!!” I was about to pour my rage on that stranger when I saw someone approaching us…

“Hae!!” I let out in a question manner and I saw…. Siwon was it? I saw Siwon looking at me in confusion.

“Yesung hyung.. Luna-ya….. you guys I just……” and before he take the last four to five steps toward us he froze in place.

“Siwon?????”

“Do… DongHae?”

~~~~~

My room was now more like a press conference area as it turned out that Donghae and the stalker guy are old friends, and……

“OMG so you are the same Siwon who was in S.H.E band with Hae oppa? No wonder I thought you looked familiar…” Luna, my dear sis was clearly fangirling.

“I KNOW RIGHT… how long have it been already? 4 years?”

“for some reason you kept contacting Hyuk but not me…” the stranger gave him a faint look.

“well… Hyuk is close to showbiz.. I still run some business related to music production.. so he can somehow manage to hear about me every now and then…”

I was getting bored with their conversation when I felt the stranger’s eyes looking at me with a clear smirk on their owner’s face.

“what?” I asked.

He laughed.

“wait a second, I never knew that you and Yesung hyung knew each other…”

“YESUNG hyung?” he repeated in a sarcastic tone, I gave up already so I grabbed a magazine from the side table and tried to ignore the conversation Hae just started.

“well, we do… we are kind of.. having something… going on!” he said in a sly tone and I felt like throwing a pillow at his face.

Donghae and Luna exchanged confused looks and I glared at him once again… before I could reply him with a similar level of slyness we heard a knock on the door.

“woon-ah… omma is here….”

She was here…

“omo.. Luna please come help me carrying those bags…” she noticed Hae standing before bowing to her.

“Mrs. Kim… its been a while… its nice to see you….” She smiled, passing Siwon and walking to Hae’s side.

“oh my darling, how did you grow so handsomely…” she said patting his cheek and I averted my eyes aside, it was sickening.

“ahh… thanks…. Oh! You might want to meet my friend…” he signalled to Siwon to greet the old woman…. And it was then that she turn around to look at the taller guy, eyes widening, hand bag dropped to the ground... breathing chocked…

“Nice to meet you… Mrs. Kim..?!”

…..

I remember spending that night in something other than cursing my luck and questioning God about the sin I committed to struggle with such a disease…

That night… I was drown in confusion, at to what did Mrs.Kim…. meant when she touched Siwon’s face the way she did and told him how much he looked like him…? How much she missed him… cried over him… and waited for him…??

…..

I rolled over thinking of the surgery I will undergo tomorrow, I want to get done with it and get back to work, I need to go back to the strong, fierce, practical, workaholic Yesung I always was..

I was about to turn off the side lampshade to my side when I noticed the ink still staining my skin… his phone number..

I smiled, it was silly to think how some random person can annoy you in a pleasing way.. I stared at the number for a while before I reached for my hand-phone..

“I wish mom didn’t creep you out to the point you will ignore my request to be here tomorrow at 11 a.m… Hae tend to panic every time I go under the knife, I lost counts of how many times I’ve been there to be honest. It will be nice to have his friend support at such a time….

by the way, its {Kim JongWoon}… your Yesung hyung..

TBC~~