Heechul still remembered his name like the back of his hand. They haven’t seen each other in years, but Heechul could still recognize him by just the creases along his face. In fact, every time he kissed some random fling he picked up in a sleazy bar, he could still taste a little bit of his lips.

Kim Jaejoong.

“Who the hell is Yunho?” Heechul could still remember how angry he was that day. He remembered every single name he called his boyfriend, every little thing that he flung at his head (but missed) and every salty tear that rolled down his face like waterfalls.

Sometimes, Heechul liked to wonder what would have happened had he not gone to Jaejoong’s house unannounced that day. What if he had phoned first? Would he have not found some stranger his Jaejoong’s earlobe? Would he and Jaejoong have stayed together, despite their relationship being a whole lie? Would Heechul have found out eventually anyway?

Thinking back, Heechul couldn’t help but laugh at how foolish he had been. He blamed it on himself mostly; he should have known better than to put his heart in someone else’s hands. It was a rookie mistake and Heechul saw to it that it would never happen again.

Heechul had been with a lot of guys since Jaejoong. He hopped from bed to bed, from man to man, with no serious commitment ever involved. It was simply easier that way. No broken hearts, no tears, no pain—just a pair of wobbly legs accompanied by a sore in the morning. Heechul was quite fine with how his life turned out. But then Leeteuk called, pestering him to take the counselor job for the school’s summer camp program.

Two months later, he ended up here, sitting in the same tent as one of his students, trying to converse with their eyes because neither had the courage to break the pregnant silence.

It was totally inappropriate in context, but Heechul had other matters to worry about besides possibly losing his job in the near future.

I think I’m in love with you, Siwon. How do you say something like that to his face?

“W-what?” Siwon sputtered, a mix of euphoria and guilt painting his chiseled face.

Heechul’s eyes grew in size when he realized that he had just thought out loud. Crap crap crap. Rewind. Erase. ing backspace!

A look of offense passed over Siwon’s face, “Why backspace?”

“Um…” What the hell is wrong with me? Get a hold of yourself, Heechul! You’re not in high school anymore! You’re a full-grown adult and you can handle this situation cleanly and mature—oh wow, Siwon’s lips look so tasty. Finally noticing the strange look Siwon was giving him, Heechul’s eyes widened once again. “Did I say that out loud too?”

“Say what out loud?”

“Nothing,” he forced himself to look away from Siwon’s glossy lips, which turned out to be a bad idea as he moved his gaze to his eyes instead, and not even the straightest man on earth could resist Siwon’s warm chocolate brown ones. “We’re going to talk about this aren’t we? About what I said earlier…”

“I think we have to,” Siwon took a deep breath as if to relieve himself of his shaky nerves. “I don’t know where to start.”

“If what you’re going to say is only gonna end in heartbreak, then please don’t even start.” He bit on his lip nervously. “But if it’s not, then please, do continue.”

“Heechul…I don’t want to make things any more uncomfortable between us. I mean, this whole thing is just so messed up. Why can’t two people who like each other be together? Why does society have to in all the time? Donghae’s right; as long as two people like each other, why does anything else have to matter? But you know what? The whole world’s telling me that I’m a big, fat coward…and the whole world is right.”

Heechul felt his heart sink to the bottom of his stomach. “So I take it you’re leaning more towards the former?”

“I’m sorry, Heechul.” The corner of Siwon’s eyes started to water. “I just…can’t. I really wish things were different…I…I wish I was braver. But there’s just too much at stake here…”

“If Heechul’s asleep, I bet we can do it if we’re really quick and quie—oh, Siwon.” Sungmin, with his frazzled hair and mud-stained pajamas, stopped short of entering the tent any farther when he took notice of the incredible tension in the air. “Maybe we should come back later—”

“Oh, I was just leaving,” Siwon stood up, taking one last glance at the crushed look on Heechul’s usually glowing face. He was about to show himself out, until Heechul called, wanting at least to have the last word out of the lose-lose situation he had gotten himself in.

“Siwon, do you know who you are?”

Siwon hadn’t anticipated his question. He had been asked this question countless times before, but never did it hit him so hard as it did right now. “I don’t think I do.”

“You’re Jaejoong all over again.”

“Who’s Jaejoong?”

“He was the first guy who ever broke my heart,” he revealed, pressing his lips together before continuing, “but evidently not the only one.”

On Siwon’s face appeared a hurt expression, as if he had been stabbed in the heart by the person he least expected. Which was exactly how it felt like to him.

Siwon looked over his shoulder, hoping to find any sign that would make the position he was in even the tiniest bit better. But instead, Heechul had nothing else to say as he neatly tucked himself back into his sleeping back, closing his eyes to shut off the entire world. Siwon was left with no choice but to walk away and return to an empty tent.

Kyuhyun exchanged curious glances with his boyfriend, prompting Sungmin to blurt out, “Whoa, what did we miss?”

“You know, I’ve always wanted a little sister,” Sungmin mused as he continued to remove the tangles in Donghae’s wig. “Or at least a little brother I could gay up. I actually do have a little brother, but he stopped letting me dress him up in girls’ clothes when he hit puberty.”

“I have a brother too,” Donghae offered. “Maybe we could gay him up.”

“Isn’t your brother Lee Donghwa, the school’s former boxing champion?” he asked, terrified yet at the same time amused at the thought of giving the big and burly Lee Donghwa a makeover. “…I don’t think that would be such a good idea.”

Donghae didn’t even hear a word that came out of his friend’s mouth as his thoughts had already drifted away to another subject. “You know, I keep telling Hyukkie that he should try wearing girls’ clothes sometime. I think he’d look really pretty, don’t you think, Minnie?”

“I wish I knew,” Sungmin rolled his eyes, sighing, “Ever since we became friends, I have been trying to get that insolent redhead a makeover, but he’s just too damn stubborn. I once tried to give him one while he was asleep and he socked me in the face—while still asleep.”

“I think Hyukkie’s just insecure. Maybe if he had a little more confidence in himse—ow, you poked me!”

“Oopsie, my bad,” Sungmin giggled as he retracted the mascara wand to get a tissue for the small dot of ink he had gotten in Donghae’s eye. “It’s your own damn fault for squirming so much.”

“But I’m just so excited!” Much to Sungmin’s annoyance, Donghae proceeded to bounce on the block of wood he used as a chair to prove his point. “Minnie, can’t you be any faster? I wanna show Hyukkie!”

“Oh, I don’t think Eunhyuk’s gonna be too thrilled to see you like this.” He said, forcing Donghae still by kicking his injured ankle, emitting an inevitable groan from the younger boy. “He’s never really been okay with me crossdressing. He never says it to my face, but I know I embarrass him whenever I go out with him in women’s clothes.”

“I really doubt that Hyukkie would be embarrassed of you, Minnie.” Donghae remarked, causing Sungmin to smile unconsciously as he tried putting mascara on Donghae’s fake eyelashes again.

“Well, I don’t really care either way,” he shrugged, picking Donghae’s chin up. “It’s kinda fun embarrassing him anyway.”

Donghae put his hands on his chest, unconsciously groping his fake s, “Sungmin, do you think Hyukkie’s gonna be embarrassed to be with me if I wear dresses too?”

Sungmin’s face fell as he tried to come up with an answer that wouldn’t hurt Donghae’s feelings too much. “Hae, honey…Hyukkie loves you. He couldn’t be embarrassed of you even if he tried.”

“Aw, Minnie, that’s so sweet,” Donghae took him by surprise when he decided to cut off Sungmin’s oxygen by wrapping his arms around his waist and squeezing as tight as he could. “See? You can be nice too.”

Sungmin literally gagged at the realization that he had just shown an act of kindness, “If this is what nice tastes like then I don’t wanna stay for dessert.”

“I am going to kill you.” Eunhyuk stormed up to the smirking boy, emphasizing each word while pointing an accusatory finger at his friend. “A makeover? What were you thinking? Next thing you know, Donghae’s gonna get implants, which is weird, because he already has a little pair of moobs.”

“And what’s so wrong with getting s if he wants them?” Sungmin asked, his mood only lightening at how riled up the redhead was. “Hyukjae, grow up, would you? Donghae has finally realized what he wants to do with his life and as his boyfriend, you should support him. I swear, you are like the most homophobic gay ever.”

Eunhyuk gasped, offended, “I am not homophobic!”

“Then stop acting like it,” he scolded. “Look at him, Hyuk. He’s happy.”

Eunhyuk’s face softened when he saw the bright smile on his boyfriend’s face as he modelled his outfit for a less-than-thrilled Kyuhyun. “Well…I guess he does look really pretty. And it’s cute how he’s trying to strut around with a limp. God, I’m a bad boyfriend, aren’t I?”

“You’re not a bad boyfriend,” Sungmin assured him, rubbing his back in comfort. “I know you never liked it when I crossdressed, though I never really understood why—”

“It’s not the crossdressing that I hated.” He admitted. “It’s the looks that people give us when we pass by.”

“Well, them,” he replied simply. “Who cares what they think? I’m pretty and I want to flaunt it. And anyone who has a problem with that can kiss my big, beautiful as—”

“I get it,” Eunhyuk cut him off, not really wanting to hear the end of that sentence. “So anyway, tell me: how adorable was Donghae when he came up to you and asked you to give him a makeover?”

“Oh well, he never actually asked me,” he revealed. “I just kinda felt bad since he got hurt while wearing my heels and—”

“You felt bad?”

“Didn’t I just say that?”

“You, Lee Sungmin?”

“Hey, I have feelings too, you know.”

“Wow, Ming,” Eunhyuk chuckled. “That was actually really nice of you. I’m sure Donghae really appreciated it. And I do too. Thanks for making my boyfriend happy.”

Sungmin groaned loudly, “Ugh, there’s that damn word again, ‘nice’. Since when did people start putting ‘nice’ and ‘Sungmin’ in the same sentence together? I mean, it just doesn’t work. Put them together and it becomes an oxymoron. Even my own mother never called me ‘nice’.”

“Admit it, Sungmin, you’re getting soft.”

“No, I’m not!” He insisted, pouting. “I’m not nice, I’m Sungmin!”

“Hyukkie, Hyukkie! Look at this cute little twirling move Sungmin taught me!” Donghae called, eagerly gesturing Eunhyuk to come closer.

Eunhyuk came just in time, as he managed to catch Donghae before he could collide with the ground, as the poor thing had forgotten all about his sprained ankle that he attempted to spin on it. Donghae, however, didn’t even feel the pain that was building up in his ankle again, as he was too busy giggling at the fact that Eunhyuk’s hands had conveniently landed on his ‘s’.

“Donghae…what are these?” Eunhyuk asked, referring to the two big lumps on Donghae’s chest only being held up by a tight tube top.

“Grapefruits,” he answered proudly. “It was all Sungmin’s idea. What do you think?”

“I think,” a small smirk appeared on Eunhyuk’s face, “that I’ll be having grapefruits for dinner tonight.”

Kyuhyun grimaced at their conversation before turning to Sungmin, “Do we sound like that?”

“Yeah, but it’s cute when we do it.” Sungmin waved him off, equally disturbed by the couple’s suggestive exchange. “You know, Kyuhyun, I think I overdid myself with Donghae. Maybe it’s time for you to get a makeover too…”

“No.” Kyuhyun refuted right away as he walked away from Sungmin’s pestering.

Sungmin chased after him as their voices soon started to fade as they got deeper into the woods. Though Sungmin could still be heard insisting, “But, Kyuhyun, sweetie, a little blush would do wonders for your complexion!”

“How are you doing?” Sungmin asked the grim counselor, who had recently become so emotionally-drained that it was hard to recognize him with that constant scowl across his plump lips. “Are you okay?”

“No.”

“Well, are you going to be okay soon?”

“No.”

“You hungry? I made noodles—”

“No.”

“Then what do you want to do? I can give you a manicure—”

“Die.”

“What?”

“I want to die.”

“I see someone’s being a tad overdramatic.” Sungmin clucked his tongue, attempting to lift his spirits with a little friendly teasing. “Come on, this isn’t the Heechul I know. Where did my favorite loud and crazy primadonna go?”

“Gone. Along with half of my heart.”

“Kyuhyun, help me out here.” Sungmin muttered as he nudged his boyfriend softly.

“What can I do?” Kyuhyun shrugged. “The guy’s just as hopeless as Siwon.”

Heechul’s ears perked up, “Siwon?”

“Yeah, he hasn’t left his tent all day.” Kyuhyun revealed. “He’s doing no better than you.”

Somehow, it comforted Heechul to know that Siwon was suffering like he was. But Heechul knew for sure that Siwon wasn’t taking it as hard as he was, because after all, Heechul was on the worse end of the stick. Siwon could probably jump back to his old self and brush the whole thing off. Heechul had broken up with Jaejoong five years ago and he was still sore about that; he couldn’t even imagine how long it would take to move on from Siwon.

“Donghae, I cannot believe I let you talk me into this…”

“Look, everybody! Doesn’t Hyukkie look so pretty?” Donghae gathered the group’s attention and directed it towards the stiff Eunhyuk wearing a pair of stilettos, a tiny, black one-shoulder dress and a blonde wig. One of his fake eyelashes had already started to droop, on his lips were too much lipstick and the foundation he used did not match his complexion at all—obviously all the work of an amateur.

“Oh my effing God,” Sungmin didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. “Now I know why you don’t crossdress.”

Eunhyuk raised one of his very thickly pencilled eyebrows, “You do?”

“Yes, because surprisingly, you make a very ugly girl.” He remarked bluntly, with the intent of giving out all the mean spirit he had to make up for all the kindness he showed earlier. “Sorry, Hyukkie, I love you, but please don’t ever do this again.”

“I don’t plan to,” he sent him a dark glare. “And for your information, I can be a very pretty girl if I wanted to! If only I had a better make-up artist…”

“Hey! I did your make-up!” Donghae complained, pouting as he folded his arms like a little child.

“That explains a lot,” Sungmin nodded, rubbing his chin in thought. “You know, if you had me do your make-up, then you would look so much better…”

“Oh no, you don’t.” Eunhyuk turned around and walked, or rather, wobbled back to his tent to avoid any more of Sungmin’s doggedness. “I am never wearing a dress again! Do you know how uncomfortable my feels in this thing?”

“Oh, come on, if Donghae’s mature enough to deal with it, then why can’t you be the same?”

“Mature?” Eunhyuk scoffed. “No, I don’t think so. When I told him where I had to put it in for him to lose his ity, he told me, ‘but that’s where I poop!’.”

Sungmin turned to Donghae, the darndest look on his face.

“What? It is!” Donghae answered defensively.

“The guy’s got a point,” Kyuhyun agreed.

“Oh my God, you guys have such big problems!” Heechul cried out sarcastically as he returned to Sungmin and Kyuhyun’s tent (where he had decided to stay in for a couple more nights), only wishing that his concerns could be as trivial as the others’ were. “It’s a wonder why none of you have been on the news yet!”

As Heechul disappeared into the tent, the remaining four stared at each other in silence, before Sungmin pointed out, “Well, at least he’s starting to return to normal,” he shrugged, to which everybody seemed to agree.

Hey guys! So I made sure to update on this day in honor of our Shindong’s birthday. Yaaay~ :D Happy Birthday, Shin Donghee! <3 _{oh, and it also happens to be my birthday too, but whatever haha ^^} Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed the update!

Oh, and I’m sorry to say this, guys, but this fic is coming to an end soon. But don’t fret, because a sequel is coming your way! Click here for a preview. <3