Yunho POV

I stare blankly against the door of his house. It’s almost 10 pm where I am supposed to be here at 8 pm. How should I do

this? It almost 2 months I didn’t ever have a chance meeting with him. Of course it’s because of our tight schedule especially

me but, it is only because of that? I don’t know. Truly, I was scared of our meeting. Looking down at my watch, I realized it’s

almost 5 minutes I had been standing motionless in front of his door. Taking a deep breath, I lift up my hand and press the

doorbell button. I can hear that. His rushing footsteps towards the door.

“ Yunho?!” He almost screams out when he saw me. “ Hi!” I waved my hand. “ Hi!” He looked stuttered and shocked. “ May I

come in?” I asked, seeing him clueless. “ Sure! Please.” He steps aside allowing me to come in. He closed the door and

looked at me, smiling happily. He looked so happy and I can see his eyes teary. Please don’t cry. “ Your house is very neat

and beautiful!” I try to change the mood. I don’t want this meeting to be emotional. “ Thanks!” He nodded his head and

headed toward me. “ Is that really cold outside?” He caressed my pale cheek. I smile with his caring attitude. “ Not really.” I

said. “ Thanks God.” He smile relieved. Eventually, both of us remain silent with only a few centimetre distances between

them. I can see his beautiful face clearly. His smooth silky black hair that surely I miss to caress it, his milky skin that I adore

so much, his big doe eyes with stare which can penetrate deep inside me, his pointed nose and his red plump lip which

always make me gone wild. He is gorgeous!

He looked into my face. Suddenly, he moves closer until just a few inches from me. “ I miss you.” He reached his finger to

caress my cheek. I stayed motionless. “ So much!” He moves his fingers and tracing my lip. I looked into his eyes which had

been staring at my lip. He looked so lost and pain. “ Yunho –ah...you are here…” He whispered my name and slowing

moving forward. Our lips are going to meet. Then, I pulled backward making him froze. I don’t know why, my body moving on

its own. Instantly, I move forward and kiss his forehead. I had rejected him. I just can’t. He didn’t said anything or even move,

its must be shocked him so much. I pulled him into my hug. “ I miss you too.” I whispered back. Slowly, he wraps his hand

against my back and clench on my jacket tightly. He buried his face against my chest. He’s trying, trying so hard to control

his emotion. I’m so sorry, Jae.

After hanging up my jacket, he turns around and walks toward me. “ Are you hungry? I already made special delicious dinner

for us. It’s your favourite!” He said happily. He is so cute. “ Jae…it’s so okay. I already eat.” I answered back making him

frown. “ You promise to have dinner with me.” He said causing me to feel guilty. I know. I supposed to be here at 8 pm and

have our dinner together. But, I can’t…I just can’t leave Changmin eating alone. “ I’m really sorry, let’s me accompany you

eat!” I take his hand and squeezing it gently. “ It’s okay. I’m not hungry.” He looked down into the floor. “ Aish, don’t be like

that! It’s not good for your health. Let’s eat, ne?” I hold his chin and gently moving it to face my face. “ It’s so okay, Yunho –

ah. I’m not hungry.” He forced a smile and pushes my hand away smoothly.

“ You should sit first, I will go to the kitchen for a while. I need to keep the foods.” With that, he walks away leaving me alone

in the living room. I let out a deep breath and landed my on the couch. What should I do? I looked over and eventually, I

curved a smile. There are a lot of pictures of five of us together and also the beautiful frame of pictures of me and him. Yeah,

we looked like a happy couple before. I opened the drawer beside me and it’s shocking me that there’s a lot of magazines

that interviewed me and Changmin. Almost all, our photo shoot and everything. He had been stalked us. I reluctantly let out a

smile. He’s never changed, being a possessive lover. I opened another drawer and my smile suddenly dead when I saw it.

The pictures of JYJ, magazines, albums and the leisure pictures of them together were having a vacation. I don’t know why

but it’s hurt so much.

Jae POV

I rushed to the kitchen and leaning over the counter. I covered my mouth with both of my hand, trying so hard not to cry out.

Why he is so cruel? I looked at all the foods on the dining table. I feel like I just want to throw all of it into the dustbin. How

could he? I had been prepared for the whole day. It’s been a long time since I had eating with him. I miss it so much. I want

him to eat my cooks. I want him to praise how delicious my cooks. I just want to be like before. How could he do not

understand? And just now, he just had rejected my kiss. Truly, he never kisses me after the separation. What’s wrong,

Yunho? I am the still Kim Jaejoong, your lover. Wiping back my tears with my back hand, I walk to the dining table and keep

all the foods. Then, I wash my face and wiping it with towel. I take a deep breath and walks to the living room.

He was sitting on the couch, looking at something on the table. Look at him, now! He is so handsome and manly. Then, my

mouth opened widely as soon as my eyes caught something on the table. JYJ’s stuffs! My pictures with Yoochun and Junsu,

also my pictures hanging out with my other friends. I don’t want him to see it! Not tonight! “ Yunho.” I called him. He turns to

look at him and curved a smile. “ Let’s doing something else!” I gathered all the stuffs and keep them back into the drawer. “

You looked happy. I mean, three of you looked perfect.” He said making me frown. “ I’m happy because you are happy. You

already made the best decision in your life!” He continued saying. “ Stop!” I snapped at him, shocking him.

“ How many years we had been together? Did I’m looked really happy in your eyes? Don’t you ever know your own lover?!” I

asked him. He remained silent. “ I’m not happy, Yunho –ah! How could I’d be happy when you are not with me?!” I burst out.

He chooses to be silent and looked away. Clearly, he didn’t like this kind of conversation. “ Looked at me!” I demanded. He

sighed heavily. “ What do you want me to say, Jae?” He asked emotionless, leaving me clueless. I don’t know. I was just

angry because he always didn’t have a time to be with me. “ I’m sorry that it’s my fault TVXQ split and everything is not the

same anymore! I’m sorry that I had failed as a leader!” He looked at me. He was hurt. “ Yunho –ah!” I didn’t mean that. I feel

guilty as I looked at his hurt expression.

Suddenly, his phone ringing shocking both of us. He reaches for it and immediately his lip curved a warm smile as soon as

he saw the screen. That smile! The smile that I had been craving so much. Sadly, it’s not for me but for another person. Who

is that person? Why did he smile like that? How his moods can suddenly change? I’m suddenly getting curious. Ignoring me,

he picked up the phone and walks to the balcony. Seriously, it’s make me getting so irritated. I want to know who is that

person. I need to know. I follow him to the balcony. Changmin –ah! My steps stopped as soon as I heard that name. He was

chatting happily over there. Why can’t he be like that with me? I’m getting annoyed. “ Take care. I love you, Changmin –ah!”

He finally hangs up the phone and turn around. He looked shock seeing me in front of him. I already folded my hand over my

chest.

“ Who’s that?” I purposely asked even though I knew it so well. “ No need to be jealous. He’s your dosaeng, Changmin.” He

smiled like that again. How I wish I could shout at him not to smile like that again. “ Why did he called you?” I asked him. “ He

was worried about me. It’s already late and I’m still not going home. So, he asks me to take care. He is too nice.” He smiled

again. “ Did he know you are here? Inside my house?” I’m started to feel irritated. Yunho remained silent. “ No, he didn’t

know.” Yunho answered as I expected. Moving forward toward him, I reached for his phone. “ He should know! We should

tell him you are here with me!” I searched for Changmin’s number in his phone. My lovely Changmin? Is that true what I saw

in his phone? “ No! He shouldn’t know that!” Yunho grabbed the phone from my hand harshly leaving me in shock.

I look at him. He looked scared. “ Why?” I asked him. Yunho keep silent, probably recover back from his shock before. “

Why Yunho? Why can’t Changmin know you are with me?” I started getting mad. He messaging his forehead a bit, showing

how much he doesn’t want to answer this question. “ Let’s forget this.” He finally said something. “ Answer me!” I demanded.

“ Why can’t your lovely Changmin know you are now with your own lover?” I already rise up my voice. He stares at my firm

face. After a while, he let out a deep breath. “ Because I didn’t want to hurt him. He doesn’t deserve any pain more. He was

too precious for me and I want always want to make him happy.” He stated firmly making me almost broke down.

I can feel the stinging pain on the corner of my eyes. “ Then, you are willing to hurt me? Is it okay for you to hurt me instead of

hurting Changmin?!” My lips were tremble. “ Jae, it’s not like that!” He said. “ Then, what is it? Who am I to you? What was I

meant to your life?!” I can’t hold anymore. My tears shamelessly fall from my eyes. “ Jae!” He moved forward but I moved

backwards. “ Answer me!” I wiped my tears with my back hand. “ You are my lover!” He answers back. I don’t know why but

my heart still does not satisfy. “ Did you still love me?!” I continued asking.

“ I did! Oh gosh Jae, stop this.” He said and reached for my hand, leading me to the living room. “ No, I’m not finish!” I 

yanked away my hand and looked at him. Now, it’s the time. “ Who is more important to you, me or Changmin?” I finally

asked the question that I had been craving so much to ask before. I might look like a childish kid but I don’t care anymore. I

was tired. Tired of this unsecure feeling. He looked shock with my question. “ Just answer me, Yunho!” I pleaded at him. I

really want to know. I want him to say that I am his first priority. He clenches his fist tightly. “ I don’t want to answer this! I don’t

know why I should answer this stupid question!” He hissed at me, clearly he was not pleasant with my question. I fake a

laugh.

“ Because it’s him, right?!” I chuckled at him. “ Actually you love him more, or maybe you two already had a ? Is he better

than me on a bed? Did you enjoying ing him?” Seriously, I’m getting insane. He looked so shocked with my words. “ You

are crazy, Kim Jaejoong!” He finally rises up his voice. “ Yes, I am crazy!” I shouted back. “ Because it’s always him!. He is

your first priority! You love him! You care about him so much! Everything is him! Then, what am I?!” I burst out. I finally

realized how pathetic I am now, but it doesn’t matter anymore. I just want him to know it. I read all the interviews about them

through magazines, or even TV shows and its hurt so much. Everything is Changmin.

“ Jae, you can’t compare him to you. It’s different!” He tried to calm me down. “ Bull!” I cursed at him making him frown. “

Kim Jaejoong.” He’s kinda warning me. I know how much he hates it when I cursed. “ Coward! You are coward, Jung Yunho!

You didn’t even have courage to say the truth!” I keep mocked him. Suddenly, he moves toward me and push me against

the wall harshly. With just a few inches distance between our face, he stares fiercely into my eyes, penetrating deep inside

me. “ You know what? Because Changmin is too precious for me. He chose me. He chose to stay with me and didn’t leave

me like you did! He care and love me! More than you!” He hissed at my face.

“ you, Jung Yunho!” I shouted at him and punching his chest repeatedly. Crying endlessly. Regardless of my attacks, he

grabs onto my arm and pulls me into his embrace. “ Let go off me, Jung Yunho! Let go off me! I hate you!” I use all my

energy to push him away he far away too strong. He holds me tight and caresses my back while I keep crying against his

chest.

I stare blankly to the wall in front of me. Laying emotionless on the bed with him behind my back. I was tired and my head

feel spinning. It’s been a long time since I had cried like this. My tears already dried out. My mind was blank and my strength

was gone. I can’t cry or talk anymore, feel like a dead person. Probably, I already died now. Now, I know. Changmin loves 

Yunho. Yunho said it. Yunho said Changmin loves him more than I did? How cheap and shallow did he thought of my love?

Without realize, I clench on the sheet beneath me tightly. Then, I saw his hand. His hand was reaching for my hand, pulling it

from the sheet and intertwined my fingers with his fingers. I feel so weak. “ Still not sleep?” I heard his voice. I remained

silent, not be able to answer. “ Sleep baby, it’s already late. Good night!” He kiss my fingers at his hand and tighten his hand

around my waist. I always dreaming of this but it’s not the same anymore after what happened tonight. My heart hurt so

much knowing how  easily he thought of my love.

so how it is?? should i contiune it or not??? comment please...