“Bwoh?” I ask, too shocked to even come up with a full sentence.

“I mean, I think part of me always knew I was, especially when I compared myself to my younger brother who has always been popular with the ladies. But I didn’t really know for sure until three years ago. I had accidentally walked into the girls’ locker room and I saw a lot, but I didn’t feel attracted to them at all! Then I met a few guys outside of school and I just loved spending time with them and we became best friends and that’s when I knew I liked guys!” he explains, not noticing the shocked look that is glued to my face.

“My brother had a really hard time accepting it,” he continues on, “he still can’t really accept me for who I am, but I can tell that he is trying and that means a lot to me. My parents said they had accepted it long ago, so that was easy! Most people don’t know I am, though. When I graduated, I think only 4 people in my year knew!”

“You graduated?” I ask, confused about so many things, but not knowing what to ask.

“Yeah, I thought you knew that! I just help out at the school when I’m not practicing.”

“Practicing? What are you practicing?”

“Mostly dancing, sometimes singing. I’ve formed a group with my friends and we’re hoping to be recruited by a talent agency soon!” he says, smiling wistfully.

“Don’t you usually train at agencies and then they put you into groups?” I ask.

“Usually, yeah. Some of the others have been recruited before but they pulled out and we have decided that we only want to be a group if we stay together as the same group.” He explains.

“And are the other members of your group… do they ... well, do they like girls or guys?” I ask awkwardly.

“They all like girls, unfortunately!” he laughs. “You’re actually the only other gay guy I’ve met in a long time!”

He grins at me, making me uncomfortable.

“About that, Kikwang, I’m not actually—“ I break off my sentence as I catch sight of the Six outside, lingering near the entrance to the alleyway. My eyes widen as I fear that they have found me.

Kikwang notices my change in expression – NOW he notices? – and looks over his shoulder to see them there.

“What are they doing here?” he wonders aloud. He then turns his head to face me, frowning in concern.

“Are they bothering you?” he asks.

“Hmm? Them? What would make you think that?” I say, not wanting to lie directly.

He just smiles and shakes his head.

“They’re so violent, I have no idea why they just attack people the way they do.” He says in a hushed voice, although no one else could hear him.

“It’s okay, I’ll just ask them to leave. They’re like brothers to me, and they listen to what I say… usually.” He says, pushing his chair back to stand up.

I suddenly remember back to the first day I met Kikwang, when I heard Byunghun call him "hyung". I had foolishly worried that maybe they could be related, but I guess if they think of each other as brothers, then that would explain Byunghun's actions before? I can't help but feel somewhat relieved just knowing that they’re not related. 
Why, though? It's become painfully clear that Kikwang doesn’t want to be my boyfriend. Well, he may want to, but I guess I would have to be his boyfriend too as he doesn’t know I’m a girl. But won’t he hate me if he finds out he has confided in me when I’ve technically been lying to him this whole time even if it was unintentional because I thought he knew I was a girl?

...I think I may be overthinking things again…
Kikwang speaks again, snapping me out of my thoughts.

“Yeah, my brother and I have grown up with the five of them! They’ve been his best friends since he was 4! They've called themselves Teen Top since they all turned 13. It's kind of lame, i know, but they couldn't think of a better name!”

“Five? But there are six of them?” I ask, confused still.

He laughs at me.

“My younger brother, L.joe? I spoke of him before. That’s him.” He says, pointing.

I try and follow his finger, but he’s really just pointing in their general direction. I never knew why people chose to point fingers instead of just describing what they want you to look at!

He is about to leave the store to speak to them when he turns back to me suddenly.

“It was one of them that did that to your jaw, wasn’t it?” he asks, completely serious.

I open my mouth, trying to think of something to say, but I can’t.

He runs his hands through his hair in frustration and I notice that his jaw is clenched. He looks rather scary right now and it’s a total transformation from the happy Kikwang I’ve come to know.

“Who was it?” he says coming closer and putting his hands on my shoulders.

“You can tell me, Jinyoung! Was it CAP? It was Changjo, wasn’t it?”

“I ... I don’t know who they are!” I say honestly, not wanting to blame anyone.

“Then, please, just describe him! They may have accepted me, but they're still rather homophobic and I'm so sorry that they've hurt you! If you would just look out the window and describe him, I will make sure that he never lays a hand on you again!" he says, turning me to look out the window again.

I just look at them as they linger around the alley entrance, talking to someone around the corner. They don’t look scary right now; they just look like normal guys.

I shake my head slowly, but Kikwang begins to plead with me, making me stop.

“Please, Jinyoung. I hate that you were hurt but if you tell me, they will stop bothering you!” he begs.

I sigh heavily. He doesn’t seem like he will give up until I tell him, but I will probably regret telling later. So I change the subject.
 

“Kikwang-ssi, I’m not gay.” I say quickly, not giving myself a chance to overthink things. Or think about things at all really. I did NOT think this through!

He lets go of me so suddenly, as though my skin just became burning hot.

He just stares at me in shock.

“What? Then why are you here?Is it some sort of game you play with your friends where you pretend to like someone just to lead them on and see how long it takes them to fall in love with you or something?” he spits, talking so fast that I can barely understand him.

“I… I do like you, Kikwang!”

Judging by his death glare, that was quite possibly the worst thing I could have said just now.

“How can you like me but not be gay? Is this some kind of sick joke to you? Were you just trying to see what stupid things the stupid gay guy would say?” he yells. He’s getting so angry and he looks like he wants to kill something, the murderous gleam in his eye growing rapidly. He picks up the teacup in front of him and throws it at the wall in frustration.

“I’m sorry, I see that I’ve made a huge mistake. Please forgive me Kikwang-ssi.” I say, bowing 90 degrees to him before hurrying to the back of the store, shutting the door behind me, my hands trembling as I slide down the door. I hear him leave the store and wait a few more moments before leaving to clean up our table. I end up sitting at the table and resting my head.

I groan as I realize that I’m still wearing his jacket, which means I will have to see him again to return it and he will probably still be angry then.

I take the jacket off and put on one of Mr and Mrs Kim’s spare ones. They return soon after Kikwang left and I say goodbye, wanting to avoid their questions. and end up walking home alone.

I reach home safely, still upset about shocking Kikwang. Poor Kikwang, he seems so insecure with himself! I shouldn't have blurted it out like that! I hope that he will be okay! 
I shut the door behind me and lean against it, sinking down to the floor once more.

“Darling, what’s wrong?” my mother asks suddenly, causing me to have a mini heart attack. I didn’t realize she was home, it's still so early! 

I want to explain to her what’s wrong but I can’t think of the words. My eyes just glaze over as I look at her.

She sighs sympathetically.

“You had a big day today?” she says knowingly.

I nod my head glumly as she comes closer to me.

“Well, I’m meeting Dr Oh tonight for dinner and she has offered for me to stay the night again.”

I nod to let her know that I’m listening.

“She lives close to my work and has a car so it’s very convenient. Anyway, I was just wondering if you would like to come as well? She has invited you to stay the night as well. Also, I’m not sure if you remember because you were very young at the time, but she has a son who is just a few years older than you that you were once very close with!” she says energetically.

“Really?” I ask sceptically, not remembering.

“Yes, and he says he would LOVE to see you again! He was like an older brother to you! You were inseparable for the first three and a half years of your life!”
“I was three and a half? Well, at least I now know why I don’t remember him!” I say, laughing.

“Does that mean you will come?” she asks me, her eyes bright with hope.

“Neh, eomoni!” I say, smiling widely at her as she hugs me.