A week or so passed since the so-called sleepover (which consisted of virtually nothing but that confession, Himchan's drunken sister and Dear John) The problem was that with the hectic schedules lately, the two never got to see each other often, which was admittedly a disappointment for both.

                "I should walk you home today."

                The bell rung as the sun started to set. They were dismissed fairly late today, which makes Himchan's proposal sound even stupider.

                "No. I can't let you." Yongguk replied plainly. He collected his school stuff in his bag, stood up from the chair, and proceeded to leave the classroom with Himchan quickly running after him.

                "Why not?" The other pressed further.

                "It's..." Yongguk stopped to think. "...Unsafe. It's nighttime, Himchan." The writing class president trudged slowly and robotically behind Yongguk, carrying along a whole stack of essays he'd volunteer to bring home for their instructor. "Besides, you can't hold all that for too long." Yongguk continued.

                "Hey, I can protect myself! Plus, I've never seen your house and we barely hung out this past week." Himchan reasoned.

                Yongguk felt himself cringe. His house wasn't much; neither were his brother or parents ever home, if that's what Himchan wanted to go for. Yongguk had been a lone person for a long time now, handling himself with the money his mother would send him from abroad. He's sure his mother still cares for him. As for his father, he's never met him. And he'll let it stay that way.

                "You'll just laugh at my house." He replied, his voice coming out silent. Truth was, there were still parts of Yongguk that were insecure, or sad; and Himchan wanted to clear him of all of those feelings.

                Himchan sighed. "Fine. I'll tell you the real reason."

                Yongguk raised an eyebrow.

                "I just..." The younger bit his lip. "...miss you."

                Himchan could be embarrassed by what he just said, but not as Yongguk was. He turned his face away from his sight, coughing awkwardly to fill the heavy air.

                "It's only been a week, you idiot." He said, suppressing a smile. He was so weak when it came to Himchan. He felt like Himchan was softening him up each day.

                Himchan was chuckling because Yongguk seriously was such a gummy bear sometimes. They walk off the campus, in the comfort of only each other and each other's words. When they exit it, Yongguk asked to hold the papers for Himchan instead, and before he could say no, he took it from him with ease.

                Actually, it was always Himchan who did most of the talking every time they were together. What can he say? The kid was gifted with eloquence. Yongguk wasn't much of a talker anyway. Watching and listening to Himchan speak was enough for him. Almost always, Yongguk found himself merely admiring him and forgetting whatever the Himchan was really talking about.

                "Yongguk, hey, were you even listening to me?"

                Himchan snapped his fingers in front of the other's face to put him back to his senses. "Earth to Yongguk, are you listening?"

                Yongguk swatted Himchan's hand away with a grunt. "Yeah, yeah. I'm listening."

                "Oh, yeah? What was I talking about, hmmm?"

                "Some kids you met named Junhong and... Jungeob...? Whatever."

                "AHA! I knew it. You were busy staring at me~" Himchan teased as poked Yongguk's cheek playfully. He was right, though. He was staring at him, but Himchan didn't need to be reassured; he was too goddamn cocky as is. "And no, they're named Junhong and Jongup---I babysit them on weekends now!"

                "What? How old are they? And more importantly, why do you sound so cheery over the thought of more work?"

                "They're thirteen and twelve and socially-awkward---it's not much work, if you ask me. All I have to do is make sure they don't burn the house down." Himchan explained.

                Then, there's a fond smile on his face. Yongguk couldn't quite explain it, but Himchan's eyes were twinkling. Yongguk felt warmth from him and felt himself fall in love with him all over again. "It's dumb, but I feel attached to them. I just... love kids, y'know?" He laughed. "Nevermind, I'm being stupid."

                "No, no---it's not stupid at all." Yongguk disagreed. "I think it's---" He tried to look for a word that didn't sound too awkward. "---endearing."

                To this, they both stayed silent, before Himchan good-naturedly laughed again.  "Excuse me? Did you just call me that?" Yongguk began to turn flustered again. Himchan had this hobby of embarrassing Yongguk. It wasn't fun on Yongguk's part, but it sure as hell was for Himchan.

                "Ah, we're here." He said, desperately trying to steer the conversation from him like he always did. His house was a small one-floor majorly grey-colored house. It wasn't bad. Some tiles on the roof, as well as the rusty gate needed a few repairs, but it wasn't bad. It's just that Yongguk remembers how large and bright Himchan's house was; he can't help but feel ashamed of his own.

                Yongguk cleared his throat. "Well, you better get going."

                "Seriously? You're not even gonna invite me in? Not even a glass of water? A cup of coffee?"

                He simply shook his head and motioned for him to go.

                Himchan huffed. "You're not romantic at all, Bang Yongguk."

                "I'm not trying to be." He defended. He returned the stacks of paper he helped Himchan with; they were pretty heavy so the slightly shorter boy made an ‘oof’ sound when he did so.

                “Goodnight, Yongguk.”

                “Night.”

                Himchan turned in his heel to leave. It would be a long way to his home, and it was getting dark out. He didn’t worry, though. Himchan was not a worry wart.

                “Um, Himchan?”

                The younger stopped in his tracks. “Hm?”

                “Be safe.”

                Himchan turned around and opened his mouth to speak, but Yongguk had already entered through his gate. So instead, he offered him a sincere smile, even though he couldn’t see him. He’ll be safe, he promised him in his mind.

xxxx

                “My my, Bang Yongguk. You’ve gotten soft, haven’t ya?”

                Yongguk snapped his head to the direction of which the voice came from, squinting his eyes at the male before him. He was tall; his head of hair was dyed a ridiculous blonde. He was smirking, under all the khol eyeliner he wore. Yongguk knew him. He knew him too well.

                “What’s wrong? You were speaking with someone just moments ago.” He said, referring to Himchan. “I’m glad you’re not actually mute, though.”

                Yongguk stood frozen; as if not recognizing the person. But in fact, he’d been trying to forget this person.

                “Don’t you remember me? What’s my name?” He taunted.

                “Woo Jiho.” Yongguk said gravely.

                “Ah! There, you spoke!” He mocked him, pretending to cheer. He circled Yongguk, a crooked smirk permanently plastered on his face. The other couldn’t even start to think how this guy had snuck into his lot.

                “Up for a smoke?”

                Woo Jiho was the notorious high school dropout from the very same school Yongguk was attending. He didn’t have a sob story about how he got there; it’s either that or he wouldn’t tell anyone. Jiho lived on selling illegally to minors he knew by the alley. Cigarettes, alcohol, drugs; he had them all for the students with a hopeful future, but for a price.

                “How’s your suicidal , 'Guk buddy? Got some sleeping pills if ya wanna make it as painless as possible.” Jiho dug into one his many pockets in his leather jacket to pull it out as evidence. “You have to pay though.”

                “Stop it, Jiho. I’m not buying anything from you.” He replied. “Go home.” Yongguk roughly shoved the clearly wasted man away. He tried to calm the hurting in his head by circling his thumbs around his temple, holding onto his front door’s knob.

                “Woah, woah, woah---don’t tell me this is what that priss is doing to you.”

                Yongguk didn’t say anything in reply. Jiho burst into semi-psychotic laughter. “I knew it, wow! I can’t believe this---this is damn funny. Absolutely priceless! Bang Yongguk---the emo kid---in love?”

                He let him have his laughs before he went to push him out of the way again. Jiho wiped a tear that had formed during his fit of laughter. “Y’know what, that kid’s too good for you.”

                Don’t listen to him.

                “He’s perfect, right? He’s good-looking. He’s a responsible person. Friendly, too.” Jiho continued to speak with his punch-worthy grin. “What makes you think he’s into you, huh, hotstuff?”

                 Yongguk tried not to listen to him. He tried so hard to tune out his voice. His head is screaming stop, stop, please stop.

                “Lemme tell ya what I think the truth is.” The blonde stumbled over his legs slightly, but made his way directly in front of Yongguk. “You’re weighing him down.”

                “No…” Yongguk murmured, his grip on the doorknob so tight his knuckles were turning white.

                “No---I mean yes. Yeah, that’s the sad truth.” Jiho continued. “Come on, Yongguk. Have you ever stopped and wondered what he lost from befriending someone from the likes of you?”

                 Yongguk should not be listening to a drunk and high man. But he was. Because he was telling the truth.

                “Maybe he wanted to be a student council president or whatever. Maybe he had a girl! But from the looks of it, I think they’re all gone.”

                The other winced. He immediately thought of Sunhwa; what if he did like him? Was it really Yongguk’s fault? Each word shot straight to his heart up to his head, and he can’t stop thinking. This was Yongguk’s problem; thinking too much, saying too little.

               “Geez, you look like you’re gonna cry. Fine. I’ll leave ya alone.” Jiho chuckled. The dazed man--amazingly—was able to stride over until he was out of Yongguk’s property. “Here.” He tossed Yongguk a packet of cigarettes, which almost slipped from the latter’s hands.

              “This one’s on the house.”

              Yongguk finally entered his home, deeply sighing. He peered over to the shelf above his small kitchen counter, where he hid all his unused cigarette packets. Whenever he’d gotten one, he’d store it up there. Why? Because he promised Himchan he’d stop; you know that Himchan, he likes to worry. Moreover, worry about Yongguk.

              He laughed bitterly. He thought for a moment of ignoring the cigarettes again. But instead he had the will to light one up.

              That night, he couldn’t sleep again.

-----

A/N: helloooooo

if anyone was wondering i aCTUALLY LOVE ZICO AND BLOCK B i just couldn't think of any other kpop personality that could fit that role so i thought HEY zico's pretty hardcore right ((a derp too if u ask me but shhhshh))

oH NO IS YONGGUK RETURNING TO HIS BAD HABITS??????

idk either im making this up as i go on sob i hope this isn't boring you

UM THIS WAS A LONG AUTHOR'S NOTE

YOU'RE ALL AWESOME BYE